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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/23/2008 8:18:36 PM | Yes anyone can try dating...but what does someone on ODSP bring to the table?
This has to be one of the most offensive things I've seen posted on POF and I've seen some doozies.
Frankly I think there is a lot more to relationships than just money, money, money.
Just because someone is on ODSP does not mean they can not bring companionship, love, laughter, friendship, intimacy, etc. to a relationship.
Being on ODSP does not make you a useless human being.
It does not make you worthless.
It does not mean you have zero value.
It does not make you a second class citizen.
I dunno, what do you look for in a life partner?
I guess for me, although I feel money is important I don't base my relationships on them. I prefer to care about the persons personality, chemistry, etc.
To say "what can they bring" appears to me that you feel if someone doesn't have oodles of money they lack any value in a relationship. I couldn't disagree further.
I don't pick my mates based on their pocketbook.
I pick my mates based on the happiness they bring to my life. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:02:56 AM | I said in an earlier post anyone ca date and we all look for love. The reality of the situation in Ontario with the way the courts award spousal and child support is it makes anyone who wants to date a person on social assistance realy consider it before living common-law or marrying them. As soon as you do that the government would say that you have to support that person financially (okay fine) however if you get dovorced or break up and your marraige lasted longer than 6 months yu could be on the hook to continue supporting tem depending on your income and the circumstances. It is something to consider. If a person was working this is not as much of a considderation (unless the other person has chilren from a previous relationship but that is a totally seperate topic.)
My point is that yes people can look for love but in the world we live in they must acept ot everyone will want to date them.
As I said earlier when I have had tough economis times personally dating was the furthest thing from my mind and I do not see why some people who are in such a situation would consider dating. If you want a better life....ask a family member to support you financially.
You can be a friend or companion to someone without getting romantically involved with them.
Also read my first post on this thread...I was on OSPD in my younger days and got off of it. I also was not looking to date when I was on it as I had more important issues to deal with. (Such as food and shelter) | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/24/2008 11:02:37 AM | ^^^^
I guess if we are throwing people that get ODSP under the bus we should also throw pensioners and people collecting old age security under the bus too.
Maybe next we can throw those with learning disabilities under the bus.
Heck, maybe parents that have kids that aren't high functioning should just get rid of them because if they can't finally bring a bunch to the table "what can they offer".
(yes i say this in jest, the whole idea offends me to the core)
Bottom line, I think human beings are worth a lot more than their financial bottom line.
I just want to know who we should nominate to tell all those seniors they shouldn't be dating.
All that said, who are any of us to judge if a person on ODSP should have other means to support themselves. Sure, maybe we can fantasize that everyone regardless of disability has an equal footing in the workplace and has the same financial opportunities. Frankly I just don't think thats true. Additionally I feel ODSP does not pay enough. Yes, I realize that this is set up for people that need financial aid. I also recognize that it is set up to help those that can not earn enough money due to their disability. I do not think they should be forced to eat kraft dinner, because of no fault of their own, they are disabled.
Although I whole heartedly agree that society shouldn't be giving ODSP users a luxury lifestyle, I do feel it should be adaquate to survive a basic standard of living on their own. I hardly feel the $900ish they recieve is luxury. In fact I think its substandard. When the average inclusive apartment is roughly $600 a month, $900ish a month just doesn't seem like its much of nothing. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/24/2008 12:27:34 PM | Miss Allison:
While I would agree with you each person is worth while and people on OSPD do not get very much to live off of. I do not think anyone is owed a date. When you meet someone do you not have crireia that you would like tem to meet? Things like having things in common with them. If you have something in common with them great yu may date them.
I just do not see how dating can be a top priority when you live in poverty..it was not for me when I lived in poverty.
My point about what do people bring to the table is this:
You need to be able to show that you can contribute emotionally to a relationship, money comes second. The problem is to the government money comes first and as I said earlier someone could end up supporting someone on ODSP if they marry them and not everyone wants to do that. Very few people want to date someone who wants or needs to be rescued in some form. I still will repeat this when I was on ODSP Dating was not even on my mind I had moer urgent things to deal with. If your life is so tough on ODSP (and I believe it is..been there..done that refuse to go back to it) why are you even thinking about dating? Yes we all deserve to try to find love...but no one is entitled to it. Fom my experience would you not have more immeduate needs and concerns rather than worry about dating?
For those of you who complain about the amount of money someone who is in ODSP recieves: Why do you not write letters to your MPP? Get things changed!!!
Governments will consider what is best for society first. I do not see laws being passd that says everyone should be married. I think everyone deserves love and happiness but you need to find the right person. That is the key.
If some people choose not to date someone on ODSP that is their choice...I might date a lady on ODSP if she is a really great person. I do understand some peopleperfer not to date people with disabilities though...we all have choices. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/25/2008 5:43:18 AM |
For those of you who complain about the amount of money someone who is in ODSP recieves: Why do you not write letters to your MPP? Get things changed!!!
What country do you live in??? In our sick society unfortunately those souls at a disadvantage are considered a burden in the governments eyes. They would rather spend the money on more important things like new furniture for their offices and making new tax loopholes so all their rich friends pay less.
These people don't need the added burden of being scorned because of source of income ... they aren't looking for a hand out... they are just looking for the most basic of all human needs... companionship. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:53:51 AM | And you can be a companion without dating someone. Did you read my posyts? I have cerebral palsy. I was on ODSP 15 years ago. I was not thinking aouyt dating back then as there were more important needs.
You can be a frienbd to someone....not everyone wants to date someone with a disability. I have one and I understand it. I may not like it but I understand it. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:39:54 PM | | John, your claim to have been on ODSP at one time makes your attitude all the more reprehensible. Nobody is asking for someone to date a disabled person if they don't want to, but you saying that people on ODSP shouldn't date period is just plain disgusting. I feel sorry for you, you must be very unhappy with something in your life to have such an attitude - are you bitter because nobody would date you when you were on ODSP? Is that why the attitude toward the disabled and dating? | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:52:47 PM | mom2beagle, thank you!!! , I couldn't have written it better, I too can't understand his
posts, to others who say get your life in order before you can date, my life is in perfect order, to others who say, get off your ass and work, I've been trying too, however even piece of shit jobs like tim hortons , home depot or walmart, push their even healthy employees to hell , for someone like me who runs at 80% , that's not good enough for them
they want people who go and can go all the time, without a day off or calling in sick
for people on ODSP, its very hard if not impossible to find employment, even if we want it
I know , I've been looking for 3 F*ucking years, same old shit.... though i hopefully may be getting close now, very close, but it took ages, so yes I will date and have actually met a very nice women now, so now getting a Girlfriend has upped my level and my desire to succeed, with a job so I can have the last f*ucking laugh | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:16:44 AM | "Talk about living on people’s money. "
It is not 'living on people's money' to win it in a card game; they know what they are getting in to, and can easily choose not to play. It certainly is 'living on people's money' to be on welfare, because I cannot choose not to pay taxes, or people with guns will throw me in jail to get raped every day.
Luckily, you're not my type so I won't let the fact that you prefer to date the homeless get to me.
But you know what the best part about dating a homeless girl is?
You can drop her off anywhere! | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 5/26/2008 2:38:35 PM | I did not say peipople on ODSP can not or should not date. I said I do not see how they have dating as a priority. I did ot even consider dating when I was on social assistance.
All I am saying is why is dating on the radar at all when you have so many other problems. Even today when I have financial issues I put dating on the "back burner" unless I meet a great lady who does not mind a nice walk in the park as a first date (those seem to be rare I meet many who do not want to go for coffee saying that is cheap and want a man to pay for a dinner/supper meal for them or else it does ont go further.)
You must also realize that some people may choose not to date those people on social assistance. | |
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| Dating and ODSP
Posted: 6/21/2008 5:01:27 PM | I don't discuss my money with anyone, except those who are directly involved. It doesn't make a difference if someone is on ODSP or makes minimum wage at a desk job, or whatever.
People who are on ODSP, actually pay the highest taxes because they pay GST and PST on every taxable purchase, even though they don't pay into Federal taxes to Revenue Canada. But they do make just below the poverty line, so are not financially eligible to get a federal tax credit.
The average earnings per day for one person on ODSP is about $ 4.00/day.
I wouldn't date a man who was making a 100K , driving a nice car, living in a nice place, and his credit cards are all maxed out.
I'd rather go out with a man who is on a fixed income but doesn't owe anybody and is really good with managing his money.
Why do people always have to tell everyone that they are on ODSP? Who cares who pays your rent! It gets paid, doesn't it?
You don't hear people living on other types of pensions or working at more than one part-time job, being so negatively open about their money, all the time.
There are people on disability that live quite well, are not going hungry because they have a positive attitude and have learnt to live comfortably, within their means.
And that's not an exclusive mindset to ODSPers.
Lots of jobs have basic drug,and dental coverage and nobody begrudges their benefits.
Everyone in Ontario has access to the same health care as someone with drug card, as long as you can show your OHIP card .
Not all meds are covered by disability.
We don't have this good a health care system because of profiling everyones tax contributions.
Everyone in Toronto has access to the dental school at the U of T with or without a dental card and it is very affordable.
I'd date a man on ODSP, because I liked him first of all and 2ndly, I'd know that he can count on getting paid every month, so it's not like having to worry that he could loose his job or get fired.
I would not date a man, who lived like a popper.
But sometimes there are some perks to dating someone who lives on a government income-like they are really together!
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