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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/12/2004 4:34:10 PM | KeepingStep, I don't blame you if you don't want to put a picture on your profile. However, I consider it a "Gesture of Openess" & "Ho Holds Barred" to supply one if requested , if you intend to meet the individual. This serves 2 purposes:
One, the other person can, based on the picture, make a decision if he/she wishes to continue to persue a relationship with that person. You may disagree with the fact that he should make a decision based on your looks, and that he should "judge" you by your mind, or whatever. Don't forget, by so doing, you are making a decision on behalf of the other person what he should "consider" he should be happy with. My first concern would be, if she wants to make that kind of decision for me, what other "high-handed" decisions will she be making on my behalf when I enter a relationship with her? See where this is going?
Secondly, it is an indication the other person is at least to some degree serious of potentially entering a relationship by being completely open & straightforward. It is also an index about the nature of a future relationship, in that the person is quite receptive about the other persons concerns, and WILLING to deal with that person's concerns & queries. This is yet the best index about a future relationship.
Not supplying a picture because you don't have a scanner, don't have a recent pic of you, or any other excuse is another index you are not serious about yourself, on top of either being lazy or broke. If you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone, shelling out a few bucks to have a professional digital pic taken of you by the local Photography Shop, that closely resembles your looks, is no big deal.
If someone were to feed me any excuse whatsoever why they could not send me a pic, I have to assume they are full of shit unless proven otherwise. It shows they are not serious.
So why continue to walk into "Playerland"?
In respect to people who send picture(s) not representative of themselves, upon meeting that person, you could simply indicate they are/were being deceptive and simply leave. Then report the matter to the Admin or the Moderators of this site to be dealt with swiftly. | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/12/2004 4:48:55 PM | | rubydue, Re: Webcam ---> absolutely can, as Skinsguy29 said. All too easy. I don't see the point unless the person really gets off jerking others around. Besides that, it would be completely pointless. | |
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Ruby_
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Joined: 7/10/2004
Msg: 29 | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/12/2004 9:28:59 PM | | Yep mine are web cam pics! you can totally tell :) nope can't enhance a web cam pic! your right, but unless you are live on cam with someone, they can just as easily take that pic from another site, so the only way to be really sure is to actually see them on cam:) thats why i have a cam~! anyways goodluck guys, and i have found a very special guy on this site! I just hope everything works out! | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/12/2004 10:37:29 PM | babygurl, if they are sure enough to create a profile looking for a relationship, then they ought to be also sure enough to supply a picture for the other party, if there is an intent to look at the possibility to form a relationship, if a pic is requested by either party.
Otherwise, that's kinda like buying a car, but not sure if I want to drive it?
The Hallmarks of Indecision! I want to, but then I really don't; I could, but might potentially not want to; possible, but maybe only probable, but then not likely.
Alternately, they could be up-front and state on their profile or first e-mail contact they will not be supplying a pic at all, so no one has to waste their time with them in the first place.
Of course, those only interested in Talk/E-mail, Activty Partner, etc., there is obviously no reason the send anyone a pic, except on their own leisure. | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/16/2004 9:59:51 PM | | I know what you are saying, but the best things are found when your neck is stuck out just a tad, and not from some remote hidden refuge point of safety. Each to his/her own. | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/17/2004 2:29:08 AM | Babygurl, while you make the decision not to be judged on the outside, you are also making a decision on behalf of the other party how he wishes to judge you. It would amount to you in no uncertain terms telling the other person that he should not pass judgement based on how he sees fit. That leaves only 1 party to make a decision, when relationships works on the basis of mutual input and respect. Its a 2-Way street.
The way I look at it, if the other party wants to make a decision on my behalf how I should judge her, I will make my own decision excluding her from the process - Bye-byes. | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/19/2004 5:52:00 PM | Hmmmm, a picture is important to me, I was quasi stalked on the internet, went out with this girl, and things did not work out, we parted ways, weeks later I started talking to her again, I thought it was someone else. email changed, username changed, but this time She did not have a pic, we seemed to have so much in common and then we setup a night to meet, and when I showed up I saw her sittin in the coffee shop, OMG I almost bolted, but I went in and had words...
the other comment I wanted to make is I post a pic, and I have a Cam, I am very up font about how I look, I think it is only fair that anyone I talk to also does me the same courtesy.
Daryl | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/20/2004 7:37:20 AM |
I had the same thing happen to me, actually it was the first time I got into chatting, had the ole scanner excuse too. Being new to this it didnt bother me getting to know her and we got along really well, we actually got pretty close. Finally after maybe 3 months she sent a picture and she was a large lady, which like the first post I'm not attracted to. After that I felt cornered, i didn't know what to say after knowing this person for a fair while to say, your cute but I don't think i'm attracted to you....not only did I feel like shit but i'm sure she felt worse..that day I vowed never to try to meet anyone online. I would suggest to anyone know ...yeah get pics of eachother before you get emotionally attached, otherwise it'll be a bad scene on both parts.
Everyone has their likes and dislikes about physical qualities. For instance me being bald puts me on the low end spectrum for dating but hey, not much I can do about that and i'm fine with it so I make sure to put it out there from the get go.
The only thing that bugs me is when you message someone, talk a bit about their profile and they don't even reply...what's so hard about saying, I don't think were compatable or your not my type, etc etc, pretty easy and it's alot nice than just ignoring someone. It's like walking down the street, saying hi to someone as they walk by and them just ignoring you, and your like, uh is it so hard to say HI!?? | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/20/2004 10:24:37 AM | soba, some girls on this site get literally hundreds of emails in a day, it's simply too time consuming for them to read, and reply, to every one of them. That being said, if they read your email and they're not interested, a big reason why they don't write back is because it's definitive.
If they write back to tell you they're not interested, more than likely it'll prompt you to write them back again, no matter what they said in their reply. Which is what they don't want. So consider a "read and deleted" as them writing back to you saying "I'm not interested"
its not being rude (i don't consider it to be anyway) it's just a time saver...and besides, either way (if they write back and tell you no, or if they just delete the email) you're still not gonna hook up with them, so why get all huffed up about it? :) | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/20/2004 8:05:05 PM | Ex, I know for a fact that the women I'm emailing don't get a huge amount of mail. For one thing, 98% of the people I email (1) don't have a photo and (2) are between the ages of 44 and 50. So, at least in my case, there's just no excuse. And I think it is EXCEEDINGLY rude to just delete my message. And even worse to NOT read my message and delete it!
On the other hand, I actually *have* had the occasional person write a short, polite note saying she basically wasn't interested due to age or distance, and it probably took her all of 30 seconds to write. So, Ex - all she would have to do if there were a bunch of guys she wanted to say 'not interested' to, is cut and paste the same text into a dozen or so messages tops. Could be done in less than a couple of minutes. And if a guy keep pestering her, all she has to do is put him in her blocked folder. What it all boils down to is....how would SHE feel if HER emails were being ignored by guys SHE'S interested in? I know that I have never ignored *anyone* who contacted me on here or any other site. And I don't care how many emails I got at one time (oh, GOD! I *WISH!!!*) :) I would respond to each and every one of them. | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/20/2004 10:06:35 PM | well, every situation is different, and everyone looks at each situation differently. I'm not condoning what they do, I'm just stating what I think is why they do it the way they do. Maybe they don't realize they're being rude, but the fact of the matter still remains..if she just deleted yuor profile, or wrote you back and said no, you're still not gonna have a relationship with that person, so why cry over it...as ticket would say.."Next!"
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/20/2004 11:16:42 PM | Bingorama, Ex.
Also, some people take this site, or any other dating site, based on their unique attitudes quite differently. Some care, some don't.
The way I see it, if you have an answering machine, you should return the messages if you signed up for the phone plan and gave other people your number. If you can't be bothered, then don't give out your number in the first place.
Just my freshly minted pennies... | |
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Ruby_
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Joined: 7/10/2004
Msg: 42 | |
| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/21/2004 3:04:21 AM | Diolacles....It is a small polite thing to do, answer the damn emails.
Another way to look at it is be glad they didn't. If those women are so darn rude and insensitve, then you don't want their friendship anyway, do you. | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/21/2004 8:52:21 AM | | Thanks, Rubydue - nice of you to say so. I actually wonder what it actually *is* that those women want. And how they can manage to tell that *I* am not what they want from a simple message? | |
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Ruby_
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Joined: 7/10/2004
Msg: 44 | |
| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 8/22/2004 5:49:38 AM | | Diolacles...They can't! Maybe they are just on here for an ego boost. Either way be glad you don't have to deal with them. "Shallow Bitc*es!" | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 11/8/2004 11:26:44 AM | | Well maybe she did have problems, you will never know, One thing she knows is that looks to matter alot to you. Don't get me wrong, you have all the right to want to know how someone looks. Like someone said in this thread, it's probably the way the went about it. People learn from their mistakes, maybe next time take a different approach. | |
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mysty
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Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 46 | |
| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 11/13/2004 10:16:30 AM |
boils down to is....how would SHE feel if HER emails were being ignored by guys SHE'S interested in?
I have had this happen to me. A guy I wrote to deleted my email without even reading it. I wrote back saying something to the effect of...lucky him to be getting so flooded with emails from women that he doesn't even have time to read them all. I told him I thought it was very rude to delete my email without even reading it, let alone replying to it. He did read that one, but never replied. So it isn't only the men that this happens to. | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 11/13/2004 11:45:38 AM | I cant show my pic,because the fcc would shut down this site they say beauty is only skin deep,well then i wish i could turn my ugly self inside out!lol | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 11/13/2004 4:10:56 PM | | I think you did the right thing I met a gal on here she e-mailed me her picture shes hot. I have no scanner I sent mine in the mail I was worried because I'm a really big guy.. But she digs me, beauty and the beast. But I think you did o.k. | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 12/19/2004 4:04:14 PM | What I can't figure out is why you just didn't go to the first meeting?
Then you would have know what she looks like! I see in your actions that you were not honest with her. When you can't tell someone the truth about why you are doing something, maybe you should look twice at what you are doing...
I would really like to see a picture of the person i'm communicating with, it makes it easier to create a bond with the other person, but I would much rather see them in person, I can't believe that you would have rather looked at an image that the real person...
I post my pictures because I want to meet a woman that finds me attractive...
I wish I was too famous to post them! lol | |
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| Re: Asked For Photo, Got Handed My Hat
Posted: 12/19/2004 4:37:41 PM | Thanks mysty.
I have had a FEW emails (to different people) deleted without being read.
I too sent an quick email back, actually just to see if the person really did juat delete it or the system had a glitch...
(her responce was something like she didn't understand, so I dropped it)
It hurt my feelings to see that the email was deleted with out being read, but after reading this thead, I feel much better, thanks everyone for your input!
reg | |
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