| | Jail for Deadbeat dad in CanadaPage 4 of 8 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) | Well I do have soul custody, The mother is supposed to pay me support of $25 a month she hasn't payed that in 5-6 months or so. But to hell with it, I see it as if they will not help out they don't need to be part of your kids life simple as that. I will not expect money, I can do it on my own. I see lot's of you women saying the guy needs to pay but yet you have custody so you are supposed to support the kid. So stop ****ing and feel greatful that your child is safe and not in danger.
I'm blunt I know this but it could be worse.
As for the person in the first post, if you have 50/50 you are not obligated to pay child support, it's 50/50 you bolth share half the responcability. If you are doing everything and paying everything you really need to rethink what the hell your doing ya know? If your kid gets sick you pay half she pays half or you pay it all and she buys his cloths, something to that effect you have to work things out but it's not just one way.
Anyways i just skimmed the forum here and see alot of women mostly complaining about guys skipping out. But **** them they arn't apart of your kids life for a reason, leave it be what go's around comes around move on suck it up and get on with your life.
Trav | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:49:26 PM | All well and good but I wish the judges and legislators would start referring to deadbeat parents as opposed to deadbeat dads all the time. Women's rights were supposed to be about equality and despite all the need to re-educate and/or convict abusive men I have never seen much done for men in the areas where they could use some support too.
I willingly allowed my eldest child to be raised by his paternal grandparents and so did my husband in order to stop (I'd hoped) what was a vicious custody battle where my kid was being treated like a possession and not a human being.
I'd been there and done that as a kid myself so even with all the flak I got from people about only an abnormal, deviant yada yada mother would give up her child I did what I felt was best at the time.
But there was no way they were going to allow me to make a financial contribution -- although they did with my husband because to them it equated a right to have a say and/or visitation which legally it didn't but nevertheless. I had my lawyer offer so it was well documented.
Therefore I know a bit about what it's like to play the male role. Offers of settling upon joint custody were also refused but it took years for them to see that painting me as the bad guy was only backfiring on them.
In the case in this thread it seems like justice was done. But I'd feel much more comfortable if I knew that we were all on a level playing field before too many more guys get ordered to go to jail.
Wake me up when the case of a woman who makes way more money than he does is called a deadbeat in court for not supporting a single dad's efforts to raise a child alone. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/9/2007 5:21:04 PM |
That Guy Him.....so say if a woman makes $100,000/year and the father makes $30,000/year....does that mean because she doesnt need the money he shouldnt still support his child financially??Regardless its his child and should still contribute.
Whose money is he spending when the child is in his care? His neighbour's? His cat's? Why is it assumed the only way a father can financially support his children is by giving money to their mother? Are you starting to understand why people have a problem with the Child Support system? It has nothing to do with supporting children (as it's name implies), it has to do with taking money away from fathers, just because.
Even the support guidelines indicate that support is to ensure a child has the same standard of living as they had prior to their parents separating. If that were truly the case, then techincally the mother making the $100,000/yr should be paying support to the father (whether he's CP or not) making $30,000/yr to ensure that the standard of living is up to par in his home when the children are there. Care to show me how many times that's happened? Don't mothers care about the standard of living their children have while in the custody of their fathers?
Therefore I stand by my position that Child Support is alimony with a politcally correct name. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/9/2007 5:57:35 PM | | what if he gets the child every other weekend and one day a week....what if he gets the child three days a week....if its 50/50 should he not help support his child...should he not chip in for extra activities,lessons,clothing,etc even if the mother makes more money?If men/women dont want to hand over money to the ex.....go out and buy the clothes your child wears....diapers he/she uses.....food he/she eats.....pay for the cable the child watches....let me phrase that better.....help out with the food...diapers...clothes..... | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/9/2007 6:12:39 PM | what if he gets the child every other weekend and one day a week....what if he gets the child three days a week....if its 50/50 should he not help support his child...
What if one child is in Grade 3 and the other is in Grade 8... what if the mother is Portuguese and the father is Iranian... what it.... it really doesn't matter. The Guidelines don't take anything into account other than a payor's gross income. That's the whole point... there isn't flexibility until the 40/60 - 50/50 split. Are you telling me a father who never visits his children incurs the same expenses as I do having my daughter 30%+ of the time? I still have to pay the same amount of child support as that person if they're making the same salary as I do. There's 30%+ of the time my ex is not incurring the expenses that I am covering. I don't get my support payments reduced by 30%.
should he not chip in for extra activities,lessons,clothing,etc even if the mother makes more money?
If he can't afford to and the mother can, should the child be deprived of such activities just because their mother wants to prove a point that daddy should have to kick in too?
If men/women dont want to hand over money to the ex.....go out and buy the clothes your child wears....diapers he/she uses.....food he/she eats.....pay for the cable the child watches....
That's not an option. Child Support is strictly about handing money over. If you gave every payor out there the option to provide for their child rather than just handing money over, I can assure you that there wouldn't be many payors complaining. That's exactly the way most payors want it, but that's not how it works. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/9/2007 6:23:17 PM | One of the issues not taken into account is the fact that in order to maintain the "childs" standard of living, you also have to maintain the "custodial parents" standard of living. Living in a cardboard box but wearing $180 shoes just wouldnt fly.
This is the problem here.. the only person whos standard of living DROPS is the NON custodial parent.
In my split,
I went from a 2400 Sq house to a 700 sq apartment. I Lost my bed, my couch, my kitchen, my yard, my basement. And now i get to pay HER (not my children.. HER) for the priviliage of looking after my children after her 3+ years of infidelity while i spend more time with the kids then she does in ANY sense of the word "time".
SO not only did my income get cut in half, I lost 100% of my assets and SHE gets the tax breaks. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/9/2007 6:46:39 PM | thats a great victory for her. i just recently recieved papers stating my ex can get away with not paying support because he lives in the US, never supplied the information he was required to and it costs too much for the process. so the SOB gets off the hook again.
My folks are raising my brothers kids. (because their mom has custody and decided her crack was more important than her kids) so the CAS placed the kids with them. my brother has been ordered to pay child support, but the mother (now working) still doesnt have to pay child support. I think it should come from both parents. Neither has them in their custody (brothers working on it red tape ick) so both should pay. Personally I think their mother should pay more seeing as shes the one that screwed them up. but hey my opinion doesnt hold up on court :) | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/10/2007 3:43:10 AM | That guy.....i understand your point....i am a single parent who gets no help from my ex...nor do i plan on taking him to court.....he chooses not to see his child...but i do think he should help support her...with that being said...i dont plan on forcing him either.....i know she will understand one day who took care of her...So beings that i have never been to court i do not know much about child support issues(except that i dont get any...lol)I guess its a dream that 2 people could work together and ensure that a child has a great life...i feel sorry for men whos ex's make it hard for them to be a great father...if they only knew how lucky they are to have help in raising their child.
But i do not have sympathy for men who just cant be bothered because they dont want to open their wallets....last time i checked....my daughter doesnt eat for free. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/10/2007 5:02:03 AM | But i do not have sympathy for men who just cant be bothered because they dont want to open their wallets.
Fathers who pay their support (even grudgingly) don't have any respect for such men neither. Not only is it not fair to their children that they play no role in their life, but it's their lack of responsibility that gets taken out on the rest of us. So in essence, because you are not receving any support, someone else is receiving it on your behalf. Your child doesn't get anything for it, just somewhere out there some responsible father is having your ex's irresponsibility taken out on him.
I guess its a dream that 2 people could work together and ensure that a child has a great life
It does happen, but not often. When it does, it's not like it's sensational enough to ever make a news headline for people to discuss. I work with a guy who actually had his resolved this way. His ex's lawyer kept prodding her to go for more custody, support payments, and half of everything. She told him that she wasn't out for revenge, she just wanted to raise her child and wanted her to have her father in her life as well. The lawyer kept on pushing and she finally told him that if he wasn't ready to represent her and her wishes to resolve the situation amicably, he could give her her money back and she'd find a new lawyer who would. So it is possible, just most break ups are not free of animosity and people don't usually care to see the collateral damage they cause when they focus primarily on revenge. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/10/2007 6:06:15 AM | | that guy...u may be right....i am not going for support for my daughter for a few reasons though....and one of them isnt to make another mans life hell....im sorry if me not going for support will cause other men to suffer...but my situation is a little different...i live in windsor..he lives in detroit,michigan(border cities)...i do not know where he is or how to find him...and second of all...he has nothing...so why bother...he quit his job when the government started garnishing his wages when his sons mom took it to court....i really dont want to deal with that battle.and i refuse to pay for a lawyer just so i can get $25/month to help out.....would i like him to just support her...sure...but life isnt always what u want | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/10/2007 4:27:50 PM | I've read through this whole forum and there is one very inportant fact that many of you are forgetting CHILD support. The money is for the child, so is CHILD tax benefit. The money had already been spent on the child by the care giver or needs to be. Any money recieved from the other parent is only a form of re-embursement for what they would have paid had they had been sharing expenses in a working relationship. For the child not the mother.
Yes I believe there should be a cap of reasonal amount to be paid, perhaps an average of what it costs to raise a child. I agree with one of the first posters that jail would be silly but chain gang style work of a form of workfare to force such compensation.
And for the record a very good friend of mine is a mother of four who's children live with their dad and not only does she send a % a month support but takes another small % and puts it into a bank account for each of them.
What do you do about deadbeats who don't choose to see their children?? | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/10/2007 4:35:57 PM |
What do you do about deadbeats who don't choose to see their children??
My ex is one of those. Not only does he not pay, he doesn't see them either. I think that the emotional support is more important than the money and it makes me so mad that he makes no attempt to contact them at all. Some say .. "his loss". Not so. It is their loss. Children need two parents. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/10/2007 5:42:20 PM |
i am not going for support for my daughter for a few reasons though....and one of them isnt to make another mans life hell....
I'm sorry, but I think you've misunderstood what I am talking about. It's not about you not going for support, it's the men who walk away and decide to have nothing to do with their children that give the justice system all the ammunition they need to make the Child Support system extremely biased and inequitable.
To be perfectly honest with you, when I look back in retrospect, I think the judges really try to do the best they can. In my own case, looking back, I can tell you that if I had an honest lawyer (yeah, I know... oxymoron), I would have gained custody of my daughter. The reason the system was allowed to screw me over was because my lawyer was driven by greed. She could have easily slam-dunked my case in the first hearing, but all she saw was the steady stream of money she could make by perpetuating the process. There was more than enough evidence to prove my ex perjured herself under oath in her sworn affidavit, but my lawyer chose to save those little tidbits for the "expensive trial" that I never bothered to stick around to fight in. After going through that, I will tell you right now that I think there a lot less CP's out there who need to learn the Golden Rule than there are lawyers who need a Vince McMahon Billionaire B*tchslap upside the head. They're the ones who screw our children over. They aren't there to help anybody... all they want is our money, and they'll do everything they can to take advantage of someone who's already in a vulnerable state. The lawyers are the ones who should be going to jail. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 3/10/2007 5:46:38 PM | It takes a community to raise a child. A positive enviroment and above all education.
Sometimes it is better for a child not to have their father in their lives. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 12/7/2007 5:57:28 PM | well well well, I was merely responding to the TITLE of the forum....
"persecuted on basis of association".... maybe so. How often do u hear about men that aren't paying any child support while working under the table, or on welfare or even worse doing both,and all'z good for them? Extended family is supportive of the deadbeat parent. Supportive in terms of knowing where deadbeat is working and instead of having the child's needs as a priority they CHOOSE to sabatoge the parents efforts to claim support through the courts.
All I know is SOMETHING as got to give with the system in canada and child support. (Maybe it's just quebec, not quiet sure if its provencial or federal laws).. Any Canadians know????
 For the USA for revoking drivers lisences and sometimes jailing deatbeats for non-payement | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 12/7/2007 6:15:45 PM | sweetestthang: if its 50/50 should he not help support his child...should he not chip in for extra activities,lessons,clothing,etc even if the mother makes more money?If men/women dont want to hand over money to the ex.....go out and buy the clothes your child wears....diapers he/she uses.....food he/she eats.....pay for the cable the child watches....let me phrase that better.....help out with the food...diapers...clothes.....
TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU  | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 12/8/2007 7:14:17 AM |
That Guy Him.....so say if a woman makes $100,000/year and the father makes $30,000/year....does that mean because she doesnt need the money he shouldnt still support his child financially??Regardless its his child and should still contribute.
Sweet; Lets take that question further and ask you if there should be a reasonable standard or quality of living in both households?
One of the mantles that woman have stood on for years is that children should not lose to much regarding standard of living in the case of marriage breakdowns...yet the courts have never examined or recognized the requirements to insure a quality home when they go visit the non custodial parent?
So someone who earns $30,000 and desires to be a part of the child's life .....is it reasonable to pay cs to someone who earns $100,000......
In my case I am the one with the larger income.....I do not really desire cs because of that fact..It is important that there is a quality experience when they are with my ex..........yet I know there will be those strident ones who say it is not for me..it is for the children!!! hypocrites...it is in their pocket...in my case my children have something when they are with both parents.......in their case I suggest they want to have it only in their home! | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 12/9/2007 5:40:36 PM |
So someone who earns $30,000 and desires to be a part of the child's life .....is it reasonable to pay cs to someone who earns $100,000....
Child support payments and child access are two seperate things, unless you want to equate parents to extortionists.. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 12/10/2007 5:31:23 AM | i have 2beautiful little girls and i pay 800$ a month child support and everytime i go get my girls she comes out with a different excuse for me not getting them i havent seen them in 4 months and have to wayt till april for court again after the fourth time and every time the judge takes my side but as soon we come out of court she come out with a different excusse my oldest will be 12 next june and she told me that she will move with me at 12 they can decide where they want to go every women talks about dead beat dads if a persone pays the child support shouldnt he have the right to see his kids one day i went there to pick them up and she said no and she was leaving so i blocked the driveway and the rcmp came you know the faggets with a badge and i had all the court papers and they said if dint let her leave i would get charged if the $ i give her for child support would go to the kids instead her lazer boyfriends that she has everyweek id be happy but the judje said what she does with the $ is none of my concerns ya right i told her where to go cant wayt till april cause my girls will be well dress for school and do there homework everynight and have lots of fun i have a few of my friends in the same shoes as i ham so women are just bad as men they take the $ and party with it instead of clothing there kids and supporting them | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 12/10/2007 5:34:50 AM | | im happy for ya having custody of your kid id say hes alot better off with you as my court date is in april and ill have full custody too and i dont need her prostituting money to help my i want my children top do things they love and do good in school and make sure they dont get into drugs like there mother all you hear about is dead beat dads but if they would advertise about dead moms there might be more dead beat mom that dead beat dads | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 12/10/2007 3:45:39 PM |
And even further.. If a man gets divorced and has another child... His support payments can't be reduced as a result. As the courts will simply tell him that by virtue of having another child... It doesn't negate his full responsibility to his first 1.
That's not true where I live. Though, they only reduce the income by $80 a month when running the numbers, having other children does equal a reduction in support. It's a small amount, but it's something. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 12/10/2007 7:03:30 PM | Feminists love putting men in jail.
If a man is smart he will love them leave them and never leave them pregnant...
Marriage is the ultimate security mechanism for women. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 12/11/2007 2:24:12 PM | What I don't understand is the obscene amount of money that is being requested of NCP's these days. It's absolutely ludicrous. In what fantasy world does it cost $9,000 per month to raise a child?
If this is a victory for mothers, I sure hope it's also a victory for Dads if they are the CP's. If not, then it's not a move toward equality, it's a move toward INequality. The gender reference should be completely removed from the paperwork. The parents should be identified as CP's and NCP's and gender would then be irrelevant.
And these totally off-the-wall amounts of money should be completely re-thought. If the amounts were more realistic then having another child would not impact the amount of child support, as it could then be justified that the existing child really does NEED that amount of money in order to be brought up in a healthy manner.
If that were the case, then there would be no justification for lowering the amount of existing support, due to the impending birth of a new child. The prospective parents would have to decide whether or not they can afford an additional child, just like the original set of parents would have had to make that decision based on projected monthly income and expenses. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 12/11/2007 2:29:05 PM | jackohio- do you seriously EVER get a date?
I enjoy putting people who broke the LAW in jail. And child support is a law. | |
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| Jail for Deadbeat dad in Canada
Posted: 12/11/2007 3:03:26 PM |
Even the support guidelines indicate that support is to ensure a child has the same standard of living as they had prior to their parents separating. If that were truly the case, then techincally the mother making the $100,000/yr should be paying support to the father (whether he's CP or not) making $30,000/yr to ensure that the standard of living is up to par in his home when the children are there.
The point in the way c/s is now set up is based on how much they'd be spending on the kids if they lived in the same household. The CUSTODIAL parent is the one who gets child support.
When my ex-bf's ex-wife got a better job, his child support payments went up. Even though they were splitting custody 50/50. I'm not sure how that happened. 
It has nothing to do with supporting children (as it's name implies), it has to do with taking money away from fathers, just because.
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