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Posted: 4/14/2005 10:19:59 AM | conservatism is relative and the word can refer to many things. It was perhaps the wrong one. I do notice this behavior is more prevalant in large extended family or religious groups seeking to maitain the integrety of the unit. Groups attempting to form sub-societies. Ultra-orthodox Jewish sects are famous for this for instance.
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Posted: 4/14/2005 10:26:27 AM | re: desire10
hmm... no pic, 35, broken english, seeks intamate encounter, "If u free, please call."
Sorry buddy. Anyone answering that ad is defintiely not going to be free. I don't think they will take a check either.  | |
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Posted: 4/14/2005 7:53:43 PM | greyymatter - just as an aside, i've come across a few of your posts and find them to be well thought out and informed opinions. i enjoy reading them.
now back to our regularly scheduled programming....
it's strange that vancouver's indian population is as ultra conservative as it is. there are other indian communities across canada - particularly in toronto and montreal for instance, where these ultra conservative elements are not as predominant as they are in vancouver.
of course, there are more liberal strains of indians and their families - some may still frown on interracial dating but will accept it if their children achieve a lot of the other "successes" that are expected (ie. post secondary degrees, professional careers, etc.).
i'm just glad i've dodged that bullet. it means i don't have much of an extended family support network - but thankfully, i'm fairly independent and have done pretty much everything on my own. so i haven't had to answer to anyone for my life's choices. | |
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Posted: 4/14/2005 7:54:32 PM | | and btw ultrapig - your profile and posts are hilarious. gosh, you make me laugh.... | |
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Posted: 4/22/2005 3:18:03 PM | 
Re;Indian girls and white Guys.
The trend used to be that Indians only married Indians and then only their particular type.India is like Europe and therefore you have many,many races and tribes,separed by religion and langauage so therefore you only married that particular set that you came from.
But i do notice that in england you have more acceptance lately of indian girls marrying white guys.The parents even give a small wedding.This is quite regularly in my town.You many get a couple of India?White weddings per month.
Usually indians give a big wedding if its all normally indian but the last wedding I know of a English guy and a punjabi Indian girl......parents agreed bcuz the guy was educated and family orientated.They had a small wedding with just close family.The Indian family told all their extended family the reasons for the fact that theres no big shingding.Then the couple and both families jetted off to Las Vegas....had the wedding and had a holiday which was quite sweet.
Indians,particulary punjabis are always fussed that you should marry an educated and family person who is respectable.And I think they see that english guys are of that quality and so dont get too vexed if it happens that way.
They still would bust a gut ....themselves if it was anybody else.They respect cultured people of a strong cultural background......like ours so English and europeans are acceptable to them.I do know of various marriages of this nature in India nd in canada but here in UK its more acceptable. | |
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Posted: 4/22/2005 10:59:35 PM | | hi me 22/m/delhi handsome want to have short term | |
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Posted: 4/22/2005 11:26:16 PM | In response, Iam a Indian man that is Christian. Iam raised in America, with western culture, and I also love who Iam of a Indian culture. I dont think it matters what kind of race you date. What matters is they have in common the same belief system and good morals. They get along and love and respect eachother/themselves and everybody in general. I always hear of Indian men getting a bad rep. from women, that does not mean that you should shut them out. Yes, I have heard of Indian men that are not so respectful to women. But there is good one's out there, like me!!! To make a statement like that, your putting down the Indain culture, of which Indian people are pretty good people. Just as there are a few bad apples, that saying goes the same for all people. Woman and Men, don't judge a book by it's cover.
Sincere93  | |
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Posted: 4/23/2005 1:10:20 PM | Hello....I can throw some light on that story.In Punjabi society...you do not marry someone of your own surname or your mothers surname and certainly not a blood relative.
This BC girl met and married a guy from her own ancestral village and he had the same surname as her so its considered incest.
Punjabi Indians consider everybody of their own surname to be a brother or a sister.Its totally taboo to marry in the same surname even if you are no relation.
So this girl was considered to be committing INCEST and everyone knew about it so her family resorted to honor killing.She was also from a wealthy background and he was not.
Indians...particularly punjabis like to marry IN to retain their culture and ID.Its very strong ID.At a push they accept educated and cultured whites.They DO NOT accept muslims,blacks or any other race.They are worse if its a girl bcuz they consider her to be more worthy of honor than a male. | |
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Posted: 4/23/2005 8:58:17 PM | | Are we talking about Native American Indian women or India Hindu women? | |
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Posted: 4/23/2005 9:10:31 PM | | The first Woman I wanted to marry was Indian. A drunken indescretion on her part changed that real fast. But ya gotta love that olive skin tone! | |
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Posted: 4/24/2005 9:58:52 AM |  
Hello...the people I am talking about is Indians as in India.India is as in EUROPE....meaning a lot of nations and races and tribes under one banner and the folk I am from and talking about are Indian Punjabis...who again have 4/5 ethnic tribes .All Indians have their own ethnic origin,languages etc.
I think that just bcuz Indians are quite conservative is no indicator of things at all.Liberal and cosmopolitian families also do not want their kids to marry out,only bcuz they want u to retain ur own ID.....And you may find that westernised Indian Punjabi girls also like going out with their own guys too bcuz they think that they are goodlooking and they are 9 times out of 10.In fact the Punjabi Jatts guys are quite handsome and considerd goodlooking in India and other places.They are of the same coloring usually of Latins but taller,generally...so it may happen and it does that some white guy impresses himself on a girl and the English guys that I know maybe doctors...or an accountant or something like that and the parents will agree.In the UK...7 out 10 Punjabis are degree educated and they usually mary in in 9 out of 10 cases.But theres still a fair 4-5% marrying white guys.I have NEVER known a girl honor killed for marrying a white guy.It just doesnt happen so I disagree with the comments of that assumption.
Just wanted to emphaise that Punjabi girls actually do like Punjabi guys and its not ALL family pressure but Indian/white marriages do happen and are accepted over any other option....Melanie Sykes,Helen Brodie ,Saira Mohan (voted "most beautiful woman" by VOGUE),Yasmeen Ghauri, Leila Rousass are all half Indian(Punjabi mix)
Indian families dont like their girls running around as u can get a bad reputation from nothing worse than talking to guys or being seen in a dicey venue and a thing that I dont like is that Punjabi guys can be too demanding and too confident altho the ones in my family are extremely caring and kind and thoughtful and protective. | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 5:38:00 AM | I don't know much about the dating environment in Canada for Indian woman w/ non-Indian men, but here in the northeast US you cannot find ANY Indian women who date or would consider dating non-Indians.
I used to have the hots for this chick in H.S. Her name was Saranya. She was a goddess and didnt even know it. Long luxurious hair in a french braid.......growrrrr!
Anyway, she would flirt with me but would never ever even go out for an ice cream with me because the consequences would be dire for her in her family. In fact, her parents were already actively looking for a nice Indian boy for her.
Indians havent been around in the U.S. very long...barely a generation so far since they started coming here in great numbers. It would probably take at least one or two more before the strict social rules get relaxed.
I know that dating an Indian chick in the UK is alot more possible nowadays than in the US. I reckon that might be because they've been assimilating into British society since the early 1900's. Not so in the U.S.
In fact, I think it's a commentary on how insular Indians in the U.S. still are by how they're classified as "NRIs" or non-resident Indian. The point seems to be that no matter where you live, you're still considered Indian, only just not living in-country.
By contrast, as for Italians, an Italian-American is referred in the old country as an American, not a "non-resident Italian".
Still, I'm glad that Indian culture is starting to rub off on Americans. Indian restaurants flourish and there's a growing respect and acceptance for new and exotic spices and art and related cultural nuances. :) | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 6:01:53 AM | I am half Indian. I have always been attraced to the same type since i was 15 years old : mousy brown hair (not blonde or brown .n between colour).
My parents have never had a problem with me dating 'white' men. My first long term relationship was with a white guy . Since then I have only been attracted to men who have his characteristics or look similar to him.
My younger brother tends to date afro Carribean girls. Where as my sister is not attracted to white men at all but dates Indian men only. | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 2:49:49 PM | Hiya Kormet 155,
I thought I might correct you that Indians have only been in the UK in any number since 1950.The thing is that BRITAIN was in India for some 200 years plus....prior to 1947.British Raj and all that but its true that Indian food industry is UK,s biggest industry now and we are exporting to Europe.Its Indian but considered maintstream British.
I just read today that 11% of Indians marry whites where I thought it was lower at 4/5% and you see it more from the white man/Indian woman combination more than the other way round and it lasts too.The main nationalty whites I have seen in this combination are...English,Irish and scots,Canadians,Italian,Australians and New Zealanders,Dutch and Germans with Indian wives.
Melanie Sykes who is half Indian is married to the Italian who starred with Angelina Jolie...he is Daniel somebody .Three of our top Indian models are also married to Italians.One is a fashion photographer from Oz called Darren Centofanti and another is a tennis player called M.Navarra and another is a businessman called GianMaria somebody! I dont know how it is that these Italians are getting to India and meeting them, but I know quite a few of this combinations here in the UK too.Years and years ago...Roberto Rosselini left Ingrid Bergman for an Indian woman and it caused a scandel bcuz she was also a married woman.
I dont see too Americans with Indian women...maybe for the reasons you say but I do know that theres a lot of WHITE SIKHS in California and they always want to marry Punjabis and they do, but Yasmeen Ghauri (who was a top model with Linda Evanglista) married an American as did Saira Mohan who has been voted the most beautiful woman by VOGUE.Daljit Dhariwal(CNN) married an American too.I heard recently of two of our Bollywood stars marrying Americans...one is a German American banker...Brad Listermann and another a millionaire Daniel Tannebaum ........so it does happen.
Thing is that Indian dont go out of their way to marry whites...they wud rather marry Indians and like I say...Punjabi Jatts are goodlooking people ,so its not family pressure as such but if an Indian just happens to meet a white guy that they want to be with.....it will be accepted.
Muslim/Indian weddings are not accepted but they are very very frequent.Frequant bcuz India has a big Muslim population.The Bollywood people do it all the time but they accept it as normal.Ordinary Indians dont.And if you shud ever want to be with a black...you can basically kiss goodbye to your family for life. Plus indians are not attracted to those looks. | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 2:53:03 PM | poppy...in general i agree with most of what you post.
but
And if you shud ever want to be with a black...you can basically kiss goodbye to your family for life. Plus indians are not attracted to those looks.
i'm indian and i love tall broad shouldered black men. i am very attracted to their looks.... | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 2:59:29 PM | ^^^ Did anyone here see the movie "Mississippi Masala?" Denzel Washington and that Guyanese chick were HOT together.  | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 3:06:21 PM | Oh Kormet155,
Meant to say that NRI is an Indian term meaning Non,resident Indian....all it means is....ur Indian but dont live there.Italians here say they are Italian...they never say...they are English.......they will say...they are British.....like I do but I also say...I am Indian Punjabi...even tho I am born here... I am British too and I love this country and this is home to me.Indian Punjab is my ID.The Brits are very good ...they accept and promote multi culturalism and we are known as British Asians which is fine by us.
In the US and Canada....its slighly different...all nationalities melt into one??
In India they have special rates for visiting NRI's.....HIGHER PRICES!!!...no concessions!! | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 3:11:52 PM | singlemaltgirl wrote:
well, i only date non-indian guys. and i'm indian....
i have been called the worst kind of racist...by indian men, b/c i choose not the date them....even though my preference is based on cultural behaviour and norms that i know of and have experienced firsthand and am not interested in being a part of. i engage, associate and do business with indian people...i just don't date them. oh well, a racist i must be....
I know what you mean. I live in a area where a lot of Indians live. You see them walking down the street, the man first and the woman 6 steps behind. Here we don't look at women at second class citizens... they would kick our asses...LOL | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 3:12:23 PM | singlemalt girl,
I suppose there has to be a first somewhere but I am speaking in general terms...you know that Indians generally ARE NOT attracted to those looks.
You must know that when people go looking for someone ...say for the son or daughter...those looks dont spring to mind at all...at least not in India nor here......maybe Canada ia different but I have been all over BC bcuz we have family there and not heard of a single case of that combination and I know that the BC Indians are quite more forward than the ones here. | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 3:13:23 PM | ^^ so, if I'm reading you correctly, there isnt the same tradition of "blended national identity" in Britain for 2nd generation and older immigrants?
I do vaguely remember encountering an elderly Italian couple running a chip shop in Edinburgh, and they did identify themselves as "napoletani" (from the province of Naples in south central Italy)...then again, they were first generation immigrants to the UK so I didnt give it a second thought.
I did enjoy the deep fried haggis though. What an adventure that was! :) | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 3:20:30 PM | You know...not all Indians are like that at all....the woman walking behind the men.Its stupid.My parents dont do that....they are both graduates but they had an arranged marriage in England...they met on their wedding day but you know...they truly love each other and I am proud of them and how they are.They are also loving,caring parents.
All of my Dads family are like that.....they treat the wives,daughters,mothers in an extra special way.....polite and gentle .I know that its difficult for me to relate to a guy bcuz he is not of the high calibre which I consider the fellas in my family to be. | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 3:25:51 PM | kormet155
Theres a lot of italians in my area and where i work and i have also been all over Italy .
The Italians who have been born here tend to still have FULL Italian names and consider themselves Italian and they speak Italian to each other and at home.....just like we Punjabi Indians do.
The best chips locally are from an Italian chippy....all the Punjabis call him Schillaci but he is Marco Albanase........Italians tend to go to Italy regularly from here too. | |
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Posted: 4/28/2005 4:28:02 PM |
I suppose there has to be a first somewhere but I am speaking in general terms...you know that Indians generally ARE NOT attracted to those looks.
sorry poppy, i don't agree. i know culture and custom dictates that indian DON'T date, or marry black, moslem or other nationalities - generally speaking - but i don't think it has to do with attraction. it's about acceptability. just like a white guy who had a blue collar job and a high school education wouldn't be "acceptable" to most indian families...neither would a black man. moslems b/c of historical and religious stuff...not b/c of the way they look.
bc indians - or at least those in vancouver, tend to be fairly conservative. in fact, the lower mainland (southwest coast of bc) has one of the largest conservative indian communities in the country. what goes on there is sad and pathetic. one would hope that some of the liberalism of the west would infiltrate some of the backwardness of conservative indian customs. it's unfortunate that it doesn't in all areas of the community. | |
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Posted: 4/29/2005 12:19:02 AM | | I had a boss who i got along really well with, and he was of east indian disent and had three daughters. Two were in highschool and one was in college. I was messing with him because i understand how indians and muslim people think, so i asked him what would happen if one of your daughters dated a white guy and he said with a big grin,"its a free country she can do anything she wants, but then she has to pay for her own college and find her own place" Then we all had a big laugh because that is a nice way to say if one of his daughters married an outsider or dated one she would be an outcast. I totally respect that. With muslims its quite another thing. Even if your good friends with one you should never inquire about dating one of there female because there could possibly be a violent outcome. | |
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Posted: 4/29/2005 2:57:52 AM | singlemaltgirl,
I am sorry that you are offended in any way but i do dispute that you label BC Indians as "backward" and unliberal bcuz they wont accept blacks as partners.
I think if your honest you must admit that Black looks do not meet with Indian perception of good looks.Wrong maybe but thats how they think.
Nothing to do with acceptance or cultural norms of blacks at all.
Bcuz all the UK,Canadian,USA based Indian graduates clearly state their preferences on SHAADI,SOULSIKHERS,SIKHNET etc....they cant ALL be backward can they??
Liberalism and education does not mean that you accept any and every partner.Its personal choice and perception and thats reflected here .I wud not and I am from a VERY professional and comopolitian business background. | |
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