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Posted: 4/29/2005 3:01:02 AM | Ruggeri,
Eastern Muslims and whites here mix a fair bit but its usually Muslim man and white woman but theres also Cat Stevens who married a muslim lady and a few others who are high profile people...but it happens | |
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Posted: 4/29/2005 8:25:44 AM | poppy -
am sorry that you are offended in any way but i do dispute that you label BC Indians as "backward" and unliberal bcuz they wont accept blacks as partners.
i do not label bc indians as backward and unliberal b/c they won't accept blacks as partners. i wrote that there was a large ultra conservative indian community in the lower mainland...
i wrote that indians - generally speaking - may not find a black person acceptable as a partner - but that it didn't have to do with physical "attraction" so much as it has to do with acceptability...
poppy - just b/c you don't find black features attractive does not speak for all indians. although, generally speaking, i do know of many indians (dark and fairer skinned, who prefer fairer skin in their partners as more desirable)
and i don't know where you came to the conclusion that i somewhere said that liberalism and education meant that you accepted any and every partner...but ignorance and ultra conservatism may mean that you simply choose a partner based on limited and narrow minded criteria (ie. simply based on ethnic origins instead of considering level of education, common interests and values, similar views on child rearing, physical chemistry, etc.).
i also know of a couple of indian girls who pretty much only date blacks and asians - definitely not indians. i know of blacks who usually date every girl but black girls. and i know of asians who date every girl but asian girls. everyone has their own preference but those preferences have more substance than just a colour of skin - it has to do with values, confidence, education, and other commonalities. | |
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Posted: 4/29/2005 11:56:26 AM | Single maltgirl,
You know that you were extremely personal claiming me to be IGNORANT and ULTRA CONSERVATIVe and thats why I accept a partner based on certain criteria.You really take the biscuit on that you know!!
I think that comment says more about your narrow point of veiw and reinforces the fact that you think people are unliberal unless you can accept allcomers.
Well...sorry but I dont come from a broken home and am not a single parent and I hope to get married once and stay married and if thats ignorant....so be it.I have not been pressured to marry anybody altho my parents wud want to see me settled.I come from an extremely educated ,progessive family and extended family ....not just here but in India and Canada from way way back too.....so sorry that we dont fit the sterotypical role you choose for me.
But tell me this....you say that BLACKS are not ACCEPED bcuz of ACCEPTABILTY.......Whats the reason for non acceptabilty then??????? The reason is looks bcuz if you really want to go with anybody....then you will... just like those girls who go with other non Indians.I am telling how Indians feel bcuz thats the discussion basis here not my personal preference .But if you want to know...no i wud NEVER consider a black...no matter how educated,goodlooking or rich...I dont see a thing and neither do most Indians and you state that urself.......nothing wud induce me . .
I am not attracted to just anybody and I am not looking for tempory situations either ....I know my own mind and I will follow that and not what some other person decrees for me based on their assumptions of liberalism......and i dont intend to upset my parents in the process bcuz believe it or not....I love them.I have an excellent roles model in my parents and especially my Dad.I think a lot of Indians youngsters can talk to their parents more than you think they do .
I have no wish to upset you or anybody but i think your personal situation means that you have a biased veiw in favor of a certain situation.I am still a part of the community from which you have detached yourself but maybe you are not Jatt punjabi and you do things different.Good luck to you but dont assume IGNORANCE if people choose not to marry or mate with certain people.We have a choice.
And like i say...sorry if I upset you in any way but dont make personal comments when we are only discussing a topic of veiwpoints that you admit exists and I am telling you the reason for it.Take care and have a good day. | |
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Posted: 4/29/2005 12:02:19 PM | Muslim women and white men
Simon Le Bon of Duran Duran is married to Yasmin Parvenah...a model
Rufus Sewell a classic Shakespearean actor married Yasmeen Abullah
Lisa Aziz is married to a Dutchman so it happens quite often in the UK
If you are everyday Muslim women then you tend to have to run away from home....I know of some cases like that where its a white guy and a muslim girl and clear off from home together.Theres one case where the couple have police guard and they have new ID's given to them but it happens often all things considered | |
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Posted: 4/29/2005 1:35:05 PM | poppy - relax. i was not attacking you personally. the only comment that i specifically directed at you was the one about you not being attracted to "black" looks.
as for accepting "all comers" - if you base a dating preference based on the race of a person then i think that would be considered being racist. and racism is born of ignorance.
and of course i'm going to be biased based on my experiences - just as you are biased by your experiences. but you made many generalizations in your posts and you came out as really racist when i don't think that's what you're about at all. i was trying to rationalize your reasons b/c i thought they were more than just race.
i didn't mean to imply that you were ultra conservative or ignorant and if it came out that way, i apologize. i understand you choose to date indians for a number of reasons - NOT just race - but b/c you feel more comfortable with someone who understands your traditions, moral codes, upbringing, etc. i'm not arguing with you about that. in your attack about me being from a broken home and being a single parent you did eventually explain your reasons for why you'd date another indian....which had nothing to do with race! so i'm glad that eventually, you came out with some rational solid grounds for why you'd date and marry an indian.
by the way, my (an indian) mom married an indian man and that's who she divorced after 20 years...so indian marriages are not 100% fool proof. and being a single parent has not caused me to be bitter about indians - my son's father is swedish and we were never married so perhaps i should be bitter towards the swedes, but i'm not.
anyway, i'm not here to attack you. that's not my style. i would much rather debate the issue than make a personal attack. and i only post to provide an opinion on an issue, not a person or to understand another post or where a poster is coming from. | |
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Posted: 4/29/2005 1:35:18 PM | poppy - i'd encourage you to go back and re-read that post you responded to. it was in answer to your previous post and was never aimed at you as an attack of YOUR specific experiences.
and i don't know where you came to the conclusion that i somewhere said that liberalism and education meant that you accepted any and every partner...but ignorance and ultra conservatism may mean that you simply choose a partner based on limited and narrow minded criteria (ie. simply based on ethnic origins instead of considering level of education, common interests and values, similar views on child rearing, physical chemistry, etc.).
i wrote that i DIDN'T think liberalism and education meant that you accepted every partner...and i quote...but you shouldn't dismiss every partner based on ethnicity....since most would call that being racist.
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Posted: 4/29/2005 2:39:57 PM | Single malt girl
I think i understood u correctly the first time but lets move on.
Its not racist to have a choice.I merely explained to you the reasons for unacceptance which you urself hilighted in the first place. Indians feel that way.Its looks.
I am sorry I must correct you that i do not base my choice on ethnic grounds.If you dont like someones looks....why on earth wud you want to get up close and personal???
I know I will marry only a Punjabi Jatt or English ...reason being attraction to looks and long term sustainabilty.I have common ground with these two.Goes without saying that he shud be educated,polite have good personal qualities etc
I measure success by a happy and stable home life and marriage...thats what my parents have and I aspire to t- like most Indian girls.I take the best of British culture and best of Indian Punjabi heritage and I am happy with that.Thats personal choice and most Indians aim for that too. | |
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Posted: 4/11/2006 8:28:54 PM | | I've been called Indian,Egyptian, Hispanic and even Bosnian by people who don't know where I'm from, and I'm not black or white, but having said that I wouldn't marry an Indian or an Asian guy, not because I'm a racist, I'm not. I'm Asian myself(note:by Asian I mean people from any country in Asia, including Russia for some of those who don't know geography very well.)I think they like and want submissive women and women who can dance like puppets to their every whim, and damn me to hell if I follow that.So, that's why I wouldn't marry one.I'm sure there are exceptions, but that is the general rule.Don't even lecture me on this, because I come from that part of the world and I know what I'm saying | |
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Posted: 9/6/2006 3:06:38 PM | If I ruled the world, I would make everyone sex someone from another race. Untill we have just one race and eliminate racism...........I know it's kinda harsh, but I doubt I'll have the chance to rule the world. | |
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Posted: 9/8/2006 11:37:41 AM |
because I come from that part of the world and I know what I'm saying
Well i'll be sure to visit the sayonara consultancy on race relations and cultural absurdities the next time i need advice on natives of asia.
I once saw this documentary on TV about rape in africa and female circumcision. And a local newspaper corroborates my findings too.
Thank you. | |
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Posted: 12/20/2006 11:04:16 AM | I think most of the indian girls look for someone who is ready for commitment but you will also find few who might want to explore the endless possibilities :)
It was fun to go through these forums to read what other people think about indians and what ABCD think about india . As you know ABCD means American born Confused Desi . I am surprised our own race discriminate indians. SHAME on you ABCD’s
Desi -- We call Indian people desi out of india
Now lets see i talked and met few black/white/hispanic woman and believe me i never had trouble meeting woman. They were nice and very eager to know about indian culture.
I read here east Indians are possessive, and arranged marriages. How horrible is the life being an Indian and having Indian parents and family... You have my sympathy sweetie. I can tell you 100 stories about bad marriages who married thinking they are in Love and damn it was gone after a month or two
Now possessiveness is something you will find in guys and girls too. Well I went out with one white girl who didn’t like me to look at any other girl or even any girl looking at me and talking to me... how possessive was that... isn't it? It has nothing to do with race, it is human nature and you will find such people in any race. SO DONOT assume indian are possessive. I hear woman telling me all the time how their husband use to beat them and bla bla bla ...
So indians are great people to hang out with, the culture is great . You will feel the love than just words you want to hear everyday. Do you feel me singlemaltgirl | |
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Posted: 7/4/2007 6:01:47 AM | Not to many indian women date white guys, anyone want to shed a little light on this one for me?? i have some of my own idea's but i would really like to hear from some indian women..
I am an east indian woman and I prefer to date caucasian men. In my experiences so far they have treated me with more respect, kindness, understanding etc. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2007 5:53:43 PM | "Singlemaltgirl"...You disgust me. Seriously, you don't date Indian men because of all these stupid reasons. You say you have been called a racist and that you are not. You are a racist. You are discriminating a whole entire culture of men based on a few. NOT all Indian men are the same. And with your attitude, what Indian man would want you.  | |
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Posted: 7/4/2007 6:23:00 PM | I was married to a bangledeshi man for about 9 months.. he was all into the fact that I was so white and he was going to be a hit with his family cause I was white,light haired and blued eyed... his family never got to meet me cause I divorced him before we had a chance...
Now I shy away from Indian/asian men.. culturally the difference is way way to big and not something I found I can personally deal with.. unfortunately a lot of the men interested in me for some reason are indian/asian/middle eastern..
go figure. | |
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Posted: 7/4/2007 9:58:42 PM | | I don't know, but Indian women definately don't date brothas. Well, probably not in a general sense. I don't think you should trip on that, because MOST women date white men. Only black women tend to not go for white men for obvious historical reasoning, but other than that, white man has an open market. | |
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Posted: 7/5/2007 5:20:19 PM | I've come across a fair share of Indian women who won't date Indian men because there's no novelty in that. They also consider that the open option. Having an Indian boyfriend has never exactly been chic. Look for them on PoF. I admire their candor though.
There were a few threads opened by East Asian men about how Asian women prefer non-Asian men because of self-loathing.
I am not sure what anyone's motive truly is. But, indeed for some people dating exclusively outside of one's race may be driven by colourism and cultural stereotypes. Remember, the social status factor effects a lot of people. Often, unlike money, looks, and education, the politically correct factors, race is harder to discuss. But, if in the eyes of some, that elevates their status among their peers.
I openly encourage people to state a racial preference even if it's for all the wrong reasons. I am no one to pass judgement but it would sure save people a lot of time and grief.
Jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness, and chauvinism surface almost immediately. You don't have to marry someone to find that out.
As for the gentleman who mentioned brothas, a lot of black women wouldn't date Indian men either. My dad ran a business for 7 years doing HVAC house calls. He met virtually everyone from all walks of life. After people got really comfortable with him, they would often tell them the biases they hold against Indians, blacks, Asians, Italians, east Europeans, Africans, etc, and how to educate their daughters on the dangers of getting involved with the subjects herewith. First generation Canadians are more susceptible but no one out there is perfect.
Having said that, I defend the right of anyone (including Caucasian people) to 1. solicit and 2. congregate with like-minded folks (if you know what I mean). I think hate speech laws with the exception of "incitement of violence" are a grotesque violation of our charter. | |
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Posted: 7/6/2007 3:00:39 AM | Well singlemaltgirl I can totally understand where you come from when it comes to "indian-men" but you have to remember you're making a severe genearlization (for whatever that may be).
Of course not all of us are going to be the same egocentric, androcentric, patriarchal,sexist, and racist folk that you may assume eastern culture has taught us to be.
With that said I would never date an indian girl (or any woman for that matter) that didn't know the basic necessity of having respect for men.
It' takes two to tango right?
And as for white men being frustrated about not getting enough action from our hot laides, guy relax.. there's plenty of fish in the sea for you to enjoy the spoils. There are white girls amongst you for us to enjoy and you vice versa, nothing you can really do to stop it.
I repsect and adore indian/paksitani/desi women that reserve themselves for guys like us. Afterall we've been raised up our entire lives, indian movies, culture, lanuage, food.. just to marry them and treat them as the queens they are. | |
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Posted: 7/6/2007 3:12:16 AM | I love it when you really know something that can seriously clarify a situation!
Think of indian/pakistani/desi women to be two-tiered:
1) The first tier of women are those that are pretty much Westernized in values, beliefs, and dating practices. These are the onest hat have had litle or no influence from Eastern culture and, for some reason or another, have chosen to ignore it in favor of living a lifestyle more compatible here. They are the ones that whill show up to clubs, drink, drugs, and blow off guys for the sport of it every weekend. They'll date for fun because that's how they been raised up through Western education and media as it being the right thing to do. These are the women you men will be able to get a chance with, to date, to ****, to whatever the hell you want.
2) Then there's the second tier of women that wont' even look at a black or white guy (or any other guy) unless he fits the perfect criteria they expect. These are the women that are raised up with Eastern/often religious values, and respect and adhere to South-East Asian culture and traditions. They don't date for sport, don't hit clubs, drink, or do anything nasty that a Western woman would do. They are taught, raised, socialized through their lives to respect family and conversative values. When they committ to someone they "really" commit to them (not the Christian notion of "through better or for worse.." ), a type of committement that is rare to find this day and age. They are often part of Canadian society (under the pluralist defintion) but retian their own way of life as the Canadian mosaic of cultures allows them to. Not every desi girl decides to jump into the melting pot as described above (1). And these are the wonderful women that a lot of brown really respect and adore., and these are probably the women that most of you are frustrated about being of their refusals to jump into your bed. They're a different class of Indian women that you won't be given access to (unless you can prove that you are similar in down-to-earth and conservative values as they are).. (yet even then it's highly unlikely due to family pressure to find someone akinned to their culture and lanuage).
A little about myself, I have two university degrees one of which has been in the study of society and social structure - Sociology. I have dated white women before but found them too wild to deserve my attention or appreciation. And yet I have family members (women and men alike) that have married white women/men. So it can be quite the colorful ballgame. | |
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Posted: 7/6/2007 4:39:32 AM | | I've met a good few Indian women who like dating White guys. But a lot of ethnic minorities don't like their women being "taken away" from them, so they discourage it as much as possible. But the boys can date White Women, as long as they marry their own kind, or the White Women convert to their religion. | |
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Posted: 7/6/2007 6:10:26 AM | See that's exactly the kind of misogynistic, patriarchal, and extremely chauvinist attitude everyone's been talking about.
Anywhere you have a man thinking "our women" (of any race at all), you have the greatest level of sexist hypocrisy. That's what separates the west from the rest. I don't think that I own women who're indian. Beyond that, I have absolutely no desire to control the lives of any of my potential sister(s), cousin(s), daughter(s) or wife(ves). They have rights, freedoms, choices, likes, dislikes, and their own destiny.
In hardcore, fundamentalist islamic or other similar societies, that's what the women have been fighting. Women are not their property and they can't come to terms with that. I think it might even be a phallic fixation. They don't see a man from another race or ethnicity as another individual, they see a d!ck. And they don't see their sister or daughter, they see an object of desire being attacked, devoured or impregnated.
Well sorry to break it to you guys, but when two people procreate, the genes are split exactly 50/50 down the wire. Plus, women don't like being deified as much as they don't like being objectified. So they don't need your protection as if you own them. | |
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Posted: 7/6/2007 6:23:26 AM | | i am indian but i am cherokee,just 1/4 | |
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Posted: 7/6/2007 6:44:24 AM | | have you seen well i think it is hard to generalize,there are people out there who will only date certain races,but that is up to them,but they are kinda of minimizing there selection of people out there ,but that is up to them indian women i think are the most exotic and and beautiful women in the world.have you seen aishyarya rai,simply stunning. | |
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Posted: 7/6/2007 12:08:52 PM | Hahaha! Enjoyed reading that comically really, you're bringing religion into it first of all assuming that I am religious and secondly assuming that I am all those things.
I've lived in Eastern countries myself (born and raised) to see exactly how women are treated there and as much as YOU"D LOVE to judge me as being one of "those" I am competely not.
I don't subscribe to any notions of control, as my andrygonous and egalitarian education, lifestyle, and attitude in life has taught me.
I doubt people like that exist in this day and age (and in this society). Do you know of any? Cause I sure don't.
Let's talk about why the U.S. likes to assert every act of corporate/criminal imperialism on the basis of "religion" shall we?
Seriously no other arguments can be used except religion huh?
funny | |
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Posted: 7/6/2007 12:12:21 PM | And as for putting Indian women into that typology, you don't have to if you don't feel the logic. That's just my advice as an Indian who has lived in both Eastern and Western cultures to know what he's talking about . That's the way a lot of real "desi" women are like, not racist per se.. just what you'd call a "preference" for a certain type of male. (heck you used that term yourself).
But yah I also mentionted never to get discouraged, plenty of sheep in the flock that want to go out, so i really don't know what we're arguing about here.
OH yes, now I remember. You judgements of me. Cool cool,
ok what's the next argument about? | |
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Posted: 7/6/2007 12:25:30 PM | Everyone has a choice on who to date or not.. just because someone doesn't date someone of a particular race/religion doesn't make the racist.. if someone dates only thin people they aren't called racist.. it a choice.. or if someone chooses not to date someone who is disabled.. or fat.. or to far away or too old.. or too young.. its all a choice.
I don't date certain types and races becuase of my personal experiences with them.. and also.. there are some races that I just do not find attractive.. that doesn't make me a racist.. its just a preference..
people need to take the race card out of this.. everyone has the right to choose whom to date or not.. irregardless of what others think is right or not.. | |
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