| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/16/2005 1:20:21 PM | You know, I've struggled with the issue of how old is old enough, and when should I consider a man to be a man and on and on. I've been asked out by guys in their 20's too and the first time it happened in person my jaw dropped and honest to god, I could not speak. I was in shock...lol....what an idiot I was but I'd never really considered that as a possibility. However after being engaged to someone 20 years younger than myself, someone age 30, for about a year I got the opportunity to learn some things. First thing was societies b.s. on what is acceptable and why.
Is it really robbing the cradle when you are with a "MAN" who is 30 years old, who has been married and divorced, sired a couple of kids, pays child support, created a career, maybe he's been in the military too? Is that a boy? Someone that I should actually consider a boy? because of the number of years that he has lived on this planet or is he really a MAN, someone that as a woman I can love and cherish as a valid man, mate, partner, not a little boy. If he is not MY little boy then what is wrong with it if we are attracted to each other or if we are in love?
I think that most of the reason is our confidense level as mature women and that society itself continues to push the idea that women are not worthy of admiration, sexuality (which by the way we are in our prime) commitment from a man that is young and verile because society says that only young and perfect women are desirable, well, obviously that is not the way that MEN think..I mean, look at the advertizements that program everyones brains a zillion times a day on tv.......or the magazines, etc etc etc...just reasons for us to never be able to succeed in being "attractive" according to the media.....I mean, I'm not going to be 18 again and look that way ever again in my life..impossible, but guess what, men like me the way I am and they like mature women for many reasons and not all of them are sexual or because they are searching for someone to replace their mommys.
From what I've picked up on by reading and such is that after I passed 35, at least the American society is claiming me to be pretty much unworthy of attention by a man that would be considered attractive as it is fine for the mature man to be with a younger woman in our society but not in reverse. However, real men don't seem to agree with the media and it's forced oppinions.
The intelligent part of being with a younger man is that most men die before women, so if you do choose a younger man then perhaps you will be blessed with being with the man that you are in love with for the rest of your life rather than like most women, end up alone for 10 to 15 years.
That's just my little take on the whole situation...I'm sure most will disagree...but that's what's fun about the forums. | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/16/2005 3:25:27 PM | of course older women go for younger guys. i got an email from a lady in her 60's just the other day
sooooo kidding! but i've had a few from ladies in their 50's. | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/16/2005 3:28:34 PM | | wow!! that beautifwoman knows what she is talking about, smart lady. Okay I will give it a try but no more than 10 years, lol, gotta ease into this slowly you know!!! | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/16/2005 3:32:17 PM | A guy friend of mine used to date "really" young girls, which I didn't think was right... His comment was, "gotta get em young and raise em up right">>> Not as young as the girls he was seeing though... I've had my kids and they're almost "raised up". I don't care to raise another one~~~ | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/27/2005 4:59:44 PM | Have kids/foster kids who range in age from 20- (almost) 35... I wouldn't date anyone yonger than one of my kids that I raised and add 5 years to that! Cripes, they may have had cookies and milk at my house!! and I am STILL not on the menu! LOL
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/27/2005 5:31:01 PM | | Hell,,, I love younger men but at 19 ...Sweety that's always wayyyy, wayyyy to young. How much older do you want anyway? I could just invision it.... Me and my 20 year younger boyfriend strolling down the mall and bumping into your friends and hearing.....Oh, is this your mom? I'd have to die. | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/28/2005 2:22:32 AM | | Well, I never had that happen. Is that your Mom? didn't come up as we thought of each other as the fiance'. I did not give him cookies and milk at my table when my children were small or with the 50 foster children who passed through my home. However I did bake cookies for him in OUR home and he seemed to enjoy them while we conversed on an adult level and I always enjoyed his kisses of gratitude for baking them for him. | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/28/2005 7:05:30 PM | | I myself prefer younger men. They don't come with all the baggage that men my own age do. Let's face the facts men in their 30's and 40's have been trashed by the women they have gone out with. Not all and I'm not going to genralize, but that has been my experience. There's nothing like a young man that knows what he wants and he has to have some maturity level. And besides that women's sex drive peak much later than men's do. | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/28/2005 8:19:14 PM | | I have an 18 year old son. To date or even consider dating a 19 year old seems foolish and besides, we would be totally out of each other's league, heck even out of each other's ball park. I don't have any aspirations of satisfying some young man's need to feed his fetish for a mature woman and I already have two sons, I don't need another by romantic adoption. | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/28/2005 8:26:28 PM | The actual number of years does not really indicate age...
I feel emotional maturity is far more important than age...
Men I have been involved with in a LTR that lasted over a year in the last
20 years have ALL been 7-10 years younger... cept one. These were not men I persued...
they persued me.
I don't think men my age like me much.... I have too much energy and life left in me
at 40... and not willing to put up with a bunch of hoopla and craap.
lol | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/28/2005 9:07:15 PM | i,myself, have to say i would not be interested.......the main reason being the maturity level factor. if i was only in it for the sex, i would still want a guy that is a little older.....the older he is, the more experienced he might be, sexually speaking. at this point in my life, i want to find someone for the long haul! so, i will not waste my time with the 'one night stand' sort of guy.....leaving them for their same age counterparts. besides, i want a guy who is intellectually stimulating, in addition to being sexually stimulating, and the younger guys i have met so far are just not there!
as for the bananas....yes, i hate them! they remind me of bad dancers from the 70's (who tend to dance the same way to every song, no matter what the beat might be).....lol! | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/29/2005 7:19:17 AM | I was involved with a young man that was 23 and going to school. I have to say he had more of a maturity level than most men my age. He wasn't intimidated by me being an older woman and we had plenty of really good intellectual conversations about many things. The only reason I'm not still with him is he had to go back overseas to finish his education. He had no baggage with him and we had lots in common. You just have to pick the right one. Of course all young men have fantasies about an older woman, is it so bad to be a fantasy? How many of us really get to live that out? I myself have a son, and from what I see I hope that he does get involved with an older woman when the time comes. She'll know her body and he won't get trapped into an unwanted pregnancy and the risk factor of him getting std's is lower. Hopefully it will be someone financially secure and won't be looking for a free ride like these young girls do. If she truly loves him and takes care of him I'm good with that. As long as she's single and is a decent person I'll say go for it.
Vixen | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/29/2005 7:54:15 AM | Well I can honestly say I have been in a relationship with a guy who was 5 years younger than me he 19 me 25 and it was the worst all because he was a big time momma's boy. He moved to be closer to me lived with me until I told my roommates upstairs to kick him out. He would phone his mom everyday telling here what he had done that day and if she wasn't home he'd leave the huge message on the answering machine. When someone else is paying the long distances fees not cool. those are just the small details.
I was talking to this guy from pof on messenger, he's 24 and one of the questions he asked me was "Do you taste like chocolate when you are kissed" well that was the end of the conversation.
I just find there are more immature younger males than there are older and even with the older guys I don't put up with that kind of immaturity. I will go out with someone 2 years younger then me depending on there personality.
but thats just me and everyone is different | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:10:02 AM | I am 46 - I used to date earlier this year a man who is 38 and that caused a stir - hello? 38 and 46 - if this was a man ABSOLUTELY NO COMMENTS WOULD BE MADE and I mean none at all. But a female dating a man even 5-8 years younger and we are "robbing the cradle" I think mostly it is a product of control by society. Most of the ads that men have on match.com that are my age do not even include my age. Simply put, some men my age usually want to date a much younger woman while at the same time put women their age down for dating younger. A comment was made earlier that if you are intelligent then you can put this aside and judge the person by who they are and not by their age. I do feel that I sometimes would not get a date at all if I had to convince a man my age that I am not too old for them. I get responses from men in their 70s - yuck ! 19 is a bit young for me but 25 and up I feel is fair and reasonable if both parties are having fun and not hurting anyone. This goes for men or women.
Has anyone seen the new tv ad where the older women says to all the 40 something men that don't want them "We don't miss you" So date who you want and the hell to what society says you should or should not do! | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:17:25 AM | Bomber! I suspect that when you say "older women", being 19, you are talking about girls around 21 to 25, hahahaha. Yes, those young women are looking for excitement and all that. They left behind highschool a couple of years ago and regard you as a kid.
What you have to do is look at even older ones, like early 30's. That's when they start getting desperate.
They are in their sexual peak, you are. Put two and two together, you know.
Your job now is to let these cougars teach you how to be a Don Juan lover boy. Then when you are older, you will have more tools in your a***nal to go after those 21-25 hotties.
So don't sweat it, man! Listen to da jazzhomie. | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:29:23 AM | | i refuse to date a guy the same age as my son--that is just sick--PLUS in my experience neither men nor women under 40 are fully self-actualized, self aware enough to be wholly responsive to their partners--and I LOATHE the banana--cute little cartoons are NO substitute for communication | |
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LL3
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Joined: 9/10/2005
Msg: 121 | |
| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/29/2005 9:48:13 AM | | Ouch....do you realize that you've just alienated a whole decade's worth of men that may or may not become actualized? Never understood the whole mindset of things in life.... Just cause you are 50, maybe some of us have learned a bit more sooner......Hell, I've bumped into 20y/o's that have taught me a thing or two. | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/29/2005 12:45:25 PM | Some of you out there are missing the big picture. Guys in their 30's are the ones that want those 22 year old Paris Hilton types. The men in their 40's and 50's are bitter and have been burnt too many times. That leaves the 20 somethings left if you don't want to deal with all the other crap. Get over the age thing, men do it ALL of the time and they are studs. Let a woman do it and she's a cradle robber. If you're a 40 year old women as a demographic you have about as much of a chance of finding someone as you do winning the lottery unless you're going to settle. No offense guys, I know you're not all like that but that's been my experience here lately!
Vixen | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/29/2005 1:23:31 PM | Well we all have our limitations. A KID in his early 20's with no life experience is just that.....a KID.
I'm saying that regardless of age span, it is not robbing the cradle when you are with a MAN that is much younger than yourself especially if you both find all you need in one another. What's the big difference. A man is a MAN when he's met the criteria of MANHOOD. What is that in our culture? I don't want to get into that but I know that a man in my oppinion is someone that has wisdom, experience in many many areas and someone that is mentally and emotionally capable of being on your level. I like younger men for many reasons and as I have explained in my prior writings here, I was with a husband a year and a half older than myself for 26 years, who often was mistaken through out our lives togetether as my father.
I was with a 30 year old for a year after my marriage and it worked out for the most part. It was not age difference that seperated us.
So...someone had said....ewwwwww sick in so many words here but no way.....sometimes a 30 year old is a MAN and a 50 year old is a CHILD. Sometimes a 40 year old is an OLD MAN and sometimes a 60 year old is a HUNK so it's really not age difference that I am talking about......it's prejudice, bias, societal programming etc etc. I do not believe that it would work out for me to take up with someone in their 20's nor would I be interested, however, I would probably have fun with someone from their 20's going to a metal concert. I also would not probably hit it off with someone in their 60's , but I'll bet I would enjoy going to a ballet or the theater with them. It's just judging people and saying who is allowed to love whom.......My question is what gives anyone the right to tell anyone who to be in love with and to live their lives with .........unless it is morally wrong and that is not the subject here...The age thing, as long as both people are grown is the same as the color of skin thing and both are petty. | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/29/2005 2:03:08 PM | well most older women think the younger guys are inexperienced and not mature enough?..
most cases they could be right.. but honestly..they just wanna stay in the same generation of people.. or older..
but there are older women out there that luv younger guys.. those are the ones that never had a fun youth | |
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| Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted: 10/29/2005 2:06:32 PM | never had a fun youth?
hmmm I'm gonna beg to differ with you on that one, I don't think that has much to do with my preference in men...
Younger men are attracted to me and visa versa...I really haven't a clue why, I assumed it was cuz they were mature and I was immature..lol (jk)
It doesn't have a thing to do with my childhood being fun or not fun. It's just what life is dealin me at the moment..*shruggs* | |
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