| Should I try to find her father?
Posted: 5/28/2008 12:49:39 AM | I feel very strongly you should let it go and move on. He has done you and your child a huge favor. I would not get his parents involved. It would just cause problems for you.
Honestly it doesn't sound like there was anything that serious between the two of you, just move forward. From my own experience with my children, they will be fine with just you. | |
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| Should I try to find her father?
Posted: 5/28/2008 7:54:20 PM | I don't know what the rules/laws are like in your area, but now that your baby is born and (it appears) that he didn't try to get involved at any time, I suggest you get a legal order stating that you have full custody/parenting (whatever the terminology is in your area). That way, IF he comes crawling back hoping for a father/child relationship, you can make the rules about how that starts (eg. you can start with supervised visitation).
I say let him come to you. Find a way to let him know where you are (can you exchange email with him?) and let him do the rest if he wants to.
Best of luck!
Prinnie | |
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| Should I try to find her father?
Posted: 5/29/2008 12:25:26 PM | | i 2 have a daughter how does not know her father.she is now 7years .he live really close 2 us .iam not sure if i 2 should tell her its hard 2 do something that 2 some people seem so easy,but it is so hard.will he want her ,will he love her ?or will he break her heart?and will she hate me for not telling her the truth?so many question ,but not sure witch one is for good,or betteroff just leting it be?she believes mommys friend is just a friend she has no clue he is her real daddy.she belives another manis he daddy.and he doesnt know that i talk 2 her real father if he did he would be so mad at me .i believe god gives us stuff like this 2 see if we would make the right choice .everyone tells me to tell her ,but its not that easy.easier said then done,u should find him 2 at least help u pay for things she needs,even if he doesnt be with her.he helped make her ,he can help pay for stuff she needs.u know what i mean we should get left with everything they should help us 2.iam asingle mother of 4 girls so i know how it is . but dont be down keep ur head up think of it this way, at least she can be proud of u,and say look at eveything my mom did for me ,she did the for me .and u get 2 watch that pretty little girl grow up,and say that she turned out great even if he wasnt there. my little girl is . | |
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| Should I try to find her father?
Posted: 5/30/2008 2:25:03 AM | You should just write him off as a deadbeat dad he gave you his answer right from the
start....he's not interested in being a real father.....and you don't need a jerk like that in your life or in you daughter's life for that matter.....I would still nail him for support payments though he should help pay with the costs of raising the child. | |
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| Should I try to find her father?
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:17:36 PM | | hello, this is the first time i ever done this kind of thing (responding) Quick Jist of a story... my half sister was abanded at an airport by her mother over 35 years ago. while she was growing up. her mother would pop in and out of her life. and maybe a phone call here and thier, anyway you get the point... Here is the good news my father took this little girl (age 6) and showed her love,and gave her a life that she will never forget. moral of the story ... you DON'T create a DAD or FATHER its always thier. its breed in them, like a duck to watter. and if it does't come out or shine, its becase of the way thier raised,morals etc. i have seen it with my own eyes and it works. its not an easy path to always take in life.thier will be heart ache and pain from time to time my sister is seeing the tough times again in her life.the one she calls her father has passed...my father has left a legacey in this girls life that she will NEVER forget. she will tell you that the good in life will by far out way the bad. find a good man with morals and everything will fall right in to place k.take care kansascountryboy. P.S have you hugged your child today: kiss: | |
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| Should I try to find her father?
Posted: 5/31/2008 5:03:53 PM | LET IT GO AND MOVE ON!! When he is ready he will contact you or find way of getting in touch with his child. I was in pretty much the same situtation and agonised over trying to make "it" work. I realised I was spending a disproportionate amount of energy on "it" almost forgetting there was a young person that needed me. So I stopped.
In my child's first year he had been in touch twice and I resolved not to make contact at all, not even for an emotional crutch. In by the time my child was 2 he contacted about four times. Now that she is 3 going on 4 he has asked for weekly access. I believe it is because he bumps into people that know or are aware of us both and because they have met "his" child, that forms the basis for chat. Of course he can't say much so what he is getting is updates. My child is lovely (and not because she's mine) I have been getting profound compliments from they day they were born. Now I think he feels both guilty and ashamed that his reasons for not being more involved are, and have been pretty weak.
He has never supported my child financially or otherwise and I have never told him that he has to. We have never argued. I have made a point never to remind him of his responsibility because I am not his mother. I believe if a guy does not get it, no amount of calls, texts, emails, chats or letters will. You just have to let nature take it course. If he never takes responsibility, so be it. Move on! If you focus on his absence you in turn will be absent from your child.
Priorities! | |
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