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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 2:20:10 PM | Cell Phones are fine for emergencys. I don't think the original poster was referring to emergencys. He's probably talking about people shooting the breeze with their buddies about nothing in the middle of a date. That is rude.  | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 2:26:07 PM |
From where I stand, any man that thinks he's so important that my children would come second needs a reality check
Then stay home with them. It's called "sacrificing" and you need to be willing to do that BEFORE you have the kids. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 2:27:43 PM | | A cell phone is handy in case of an emergency, so it is a good idea to keep it on hand. If you use it in a tasteful manner while with someone, it shouldn't be a problem. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 2:28:18 PM |
I don't think the original poster was referring to emergencys. He's probably talking about people shooting the breeze with their buddies about nothing in the middle of a date.
The original poster stated that having children (and the possible emergency situations that they entail) is not a good enough excuse. Apparently, he believes that all emergencies should be taken care of before the date.
This, to me is the height of arrogance. I would venture to guess that very few parents would consider a mere date to be more important than their children. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 2:35:20 PM | Caller-ID is a cellphone user's friend and they should become familiar with it. Voicemail is another nice feature...
Not EVERY call is important enough to be rude to your date, but some cellphone users simply do not have self-control and must pick up every single call...
And this doesn't only apply to dates. It happens all the time in many different situations, such as picking up when getting in an elevator knowing full well you'll be saying "hello?... hello?... HELLO?" - *look at phone* - "hello?... hello?" almost every time, or when trying to pay a cashier and there's a cellphone stuck between his/her ear and their shoulder the hold time as they struggle to get to their wallet/purse.
When I see people like that, I feel glad I didn't keep my cellphone for long.
And yeah, if and when it happens on a date (hasn't happened recently but it has happened before) it's an instant turn-off and it's a sure-thing the date's countdown timer gets activated on my end. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 3:22:44 PM | Its not a big deal if you bring a cellphone on a date; these days its almost an appendage for most of us, and we would just as soon leave the house without a wallet or a purse as we would without our cellphone. The rude part only comes in when you use it during a date. Like many have said, turn it off, or to silent or vibrate, and then if you absolutely must, check it when you use the facilities.
On one of the last dates I went on, the woman showed up a little late, then got 2 phone calls and a text within 15 min, and after the last call she had to leave because of an "emergency". I had read about the fake phone call routine, thought it was an urban myth, but was amazed to actually see it in person. A graceful exit it wasn't, but I didn't sweat it; I went back inside after walking her to her car, shared a smile with a woman across the bar, who then said, "wow, fast date, huh"? I moved over next to her and shared some laughs and a few drinks with her for the rest of the evening before heading home. And you know what? Her cellphone didn't ring once that night! | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 3:40:20 PM | | On a first date my cell is off. I would hope the ladies phone would be off to. I don't keep cell phone junkies around to long. I figure she deserves my attention. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 4:01:45 PM | When I see threads like this I can't help but think of the South Park movie where the hysterical mother screams "My god! The children!! Someone think of the children!!!!"
My rule of thumb is that if your children are young enough to need a sitter. stay home with them. And if they are so spoiled or feeble that they can't flush the toilet without first talking to you, stay home with them. When the "emergency" is that you are out of milk, stay home with them. If they are at the point where one calls to tattle on the other, stay home with them.
If that describes your family situation, you shouldn't be out dating.
What a sad state of society, that there are SO many people divorced with kids in the first place that this is such a major topic of discussion. Isn't the "right" way to do this that you have kids, stay together and raise them together until they hit 18 and you can throw them out of the house?
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 4:15:07 PM | I keep mine on me if I'm meeting somone somewhere, in case they need to call to ask for directions, to let me know they're there, or whatever.
If I'm picking someone up, I usually try and leave it on the car, or at least turn it off. Sometimes I forget though, and leave it in my jacket pocket. I don't get alot of calls, so it's not a big problem.
I wouldn't be offended if a date got a call while with me, unless she answered it and proceeded to get into a conversation. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 5:03:26 PM | Single mom here. I take my phone, keep it on vib and check the number to see if it's the sitter or my kid. Other than that I don't answer til after the date.
The one time I left the phone in the car, my mother called to say my son had gone missing. I couldn't reach anyone and I was paniced until they finally called me back that they had found him.
My son is more important to me than a first date getting offended if I check who's calling. I take parenting very seriously. Only time I turn it off now is at a movie and even then I call the kiddo or sitter before it starts to let them know why it's going to be off and how long. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 5:07:31 PM | The people I go on a date with are aware of the work I do. If the date is during the day I will unfortunately have my cell with me and I'll have it on because I am on call 24/7/365 and I will only answer it if it is work. I'll have a look and if it's not work I don't answer. If the date is in the evening after business hours I can leave it in the vehicle, and do.
There has to be some understanding and some leeway. Some of us just can't get away from our phones and believe me.......I would love to. One of the reasons I love fishing and cutting the grass!!! lol | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 5:09:12 PM | you don't catch me going anywhere without my cell phone. Whether or not it's turned on is a completely different matter. Who cares if you bring it in, as long as it's turned on silent, vibrate, and out of sight? as long as it is not answered is an okay thing.
there is such a thing as an emergency. I think it's disgusting behaviour to answer a cell phone on a date, or to even acknowledge it's existence while dining and chatting, but there is absolutely no way I would NOT bring it with me.
For all I know, guy could be the biggest creep known to mankind and I have to make a phone call from the bathroom while I "take a powder" to get a taxi to come and pick me up, or call in the reinforcements/whatever. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 5:13:18 PM | "What a sad state of society, that there are SO many people divorced with kids in the first place that this is such a major topic of discussion. Isn't the "right" way to do this that you have kids, stay together and raise them together until they hit 18 and you can throw them out of the house?"
Gee must be great to know everything about parenting and relationships. There is no "right" way and never has been. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 5:16:21 PM | Gee must be great to know everything about parenting and relationships. There is no "right" way and never has been.
It is. Thank you.
And in my house, with my kids, MY way was the right way. My kids said sir and ma'am. Please and thank you. For my kids, I taught the right way.
You can teach yours to be whatever you find acceptable. My house contained, and still contains, respect about anything else.
My son is more important to me than a first date getting offended if I check who's calling.
Then stay home with him until he's 21. LOL!!!!
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 5:26:54 PM | Many years ago, when cell phones were the size of a small dog, I was on a date with a guy who brought along his new "small dog". Throughout dinner, he called a few friends and during one phone call, he passed the phone to me and asked me to say hi to his friend. I did so although there was a fair amount of seething building up. I knew his number ( on a few levels) and quietly finished my dinner while he huffed and puffed and blew his own oh-so-important horn. When he finally decided to eat his cooling dinner, I excused myself, went to the bathroom where there was a pay phone. I called him and told him I was leaving. Walked out and never looked back.
There are times when emergencies might take precedence and I ALWAYS mention this immediately (date or otherwise) . To date, people always like an explanation. Just because you get a call, does not make the flesh and blood in front of you any less important. That is just like going into a store and having a store clerk dismiss you to answer the telephone. But that is a whole other thread..... Common sense people, which I know is not so common.
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 6:47:46 PM | 1.Cell phones are not necessary....I have kids and I don't have a cell.
2.Like "call waiting",cell phones are annoying and the person can wait a frikken hour AT LEAST, so YOU can have a life!
3.Thanks Knightwriter33...for hitting the nails on the head over and over.
4.If you worried your date is a perv. then you might want to evaluate your choice of "dates"..He is not going to be perv-ing too much in the middle of the Waffle House.
5."maybe u have some insecurity issues that have caused u to think cellphones on a date is a bad thing.." I don't know how to respond to that one but just....
6.Is there really any call that couldn't wait another 10 minutes to answer?
7.Putting the cell on "vibrate" or "silence" doesn't work,I sat there for 30minutes watching the lights on the phone rather that seeing the "light in her eyes"!
8.Has Anyone listed a legitimate excuse yet for bringing a cell on a FIRST time meeting? | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 8:23:31 PM | How many guys do you know, going to take a powder and call in reinforcements, or the "emergency", when the girl turns into a psycho?
What is wrong with politely finishing dinner, drinks, whatever, and run like HE!! afterwards?
To have an "escape plan" would sound to me like someone expecting the worst to happen and it does, which isn't really fair to the unsuspecting date, that doesn't know you are trying to escape after 15 minutes, with a sick child excuse.
obviously you aren't a woman...
listen, I've never done it that. probably never will. And it sounds to me like you aren't just getting the the point of my post. Cell phone stays with me, in my purse and unanswered: I'm not leaving it at home, and most definitely not leaving it in my car. because you just never know. Best to be prepared for any occasion...Murphy's law says: the moment you don't have your phone on you, you're going to need it or wish you had it.
cell phones displayed on the table is just downright annoying, I had a date with a guy who had 2 freaking cell phones on the table and actually kept me waiting for a good 15 minutes at the table while he sat there yakking it up.
there's nothing wrong with keeping your cell phone on you, as long as it's discreet. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/18/2007 8:58:02 PM |
Then stay home with him until he's 21. LOL!!!!
It's interesting that you keep repeating this one thought, mantra-like, as if it's the only viable solution.
My own solution would be to only accept dates with men that understand that children come first, and hopefully make their own a priority, also.
If you don't give a damn about a potential date's children, fine; you have a right to that preference. What you don't have is a right to denigrate those of us who believe differently. | |
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djnick
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Joined: 11/6/2005
Msg: 46 | |
| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/19/2007 1:16:13 AM | | I leave it on vibrate and I have voicemail. Unless its an emergency, calls can go to voicemail... thats what its for. I need mine for work... but that doesn't mean its going to go off or that I'll be answering it. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/19/2007 1:52:48 AM | Well, I have a toddler, so yes, I do need to leave the phone on. I made the mistake ONCE of turning it off, and my daughter REALLY needed to talk to me. Not a major emergency as far as things go, but it would have made things MUCH easier, had I taken the call. Lets face it, if you have kids, your date needs to recognize that the kids DO come first, and that if they need you, you need to be able to be in contact.
I think the key here, is one or maybe two quick phone calls with your child, are not a big deal. Keep them SHORT. But, BSing with a friend, is a BIG no-no in my book. Basically, you leave the cell phone on, for emergencies. Nothing else.
As for our parents being able to make it by, without a cell phone... who cares? We have them now, they are convenient. My parents also didn't use a microwave, or dish-washer back then... hell, they didn't even have an AC unit back then. That doesn't mean I will have a better life to live like them. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/19/2007 5:23:19 AM | A cell phone on a first date can come in handy if the date is going bad. You can excuse yourself and call a friend and have them to call you back. When they do you pretend there's an emergency and you have to end the date.  | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 2/19/2007 5:49:20 AM |
Has Anyone listed a legitimate excuse yet for bringing a cell on a FIRST time meeting?
1) Well, what if you or the person you're meeting is running late or gets lost? Or would you rather just sit there wondering where she is or keep her waiting wondering where you are?
2) What if your car breaks down to/from the date? You need a phone to call for a tow truck and if it's on the way to the date, to let the other person know.
3) The parents with kids have listed a good reason. I've met guys with kids and I would never expect them to turn off their cell phone, as their kids needed to be able to reach them. Though I never had a date interrupted by a cell phone call with those guys.
4) Some people are on call for work (this should be explained in advance)
As people have pointed out, there are polite ways ways to use a cell phone for purposes 3 & 4, such as setting it to vibrate & caller ID to minimumize disruptions. Even with 3 & 4, if the person does have to take a call, he or she should say, "excuse me, but I really have to take this." Then try to keep the call as short as possible & say afterwards, sorry about that, but it was work", etc.
That said, if someone's sitting on the phone casually talking to friends, etc. while ignoring the other person, then that is rude. | |
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