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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/10/2007 8:29:49 PM | | Yes, b/c I have 2 minor children. I put my phone on vibrate or low ring (I have a distinctive ring for any number my kids would call from). If it's anyone other than my kids I don't answer. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/11/2007 6:02:20 PM |  I've gotten up and walked away from a date when she's gone into a conversation with a friend (not relative, a friend) on her cell phone. That's just a good way for me to know that the chemistry isn't there because the lack of respect is there.
None of my friends go into an extended conversation over their cellphones when hanging with me ("No, I'm hanging with TTM_1974, come on over"), so I expect a woman that I'm trying to turn into a romance to extend the same courtesy.
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/11/2007 9:08:23 PM | I do not leave home without my phone, I may not always answer it but I never leave without it
I have children and feel that as their mom they should be able to reach me if they want to, not only if they have an emergency, one of my children has health problems and does on occasion have an emergency, but also if they want to say goodnight or ask a question or something else , it has yet to be a problem and bother a date though they have been very short calls, he always seems to understand that my kids need just a moment.
I would never want a man I am out with to ignore his children while out with me unless of course it was going something like this " but he said I was a booger face first, nuuh that was after she called me a poopie head and stuck her tongue out at me..... "etc, etc, at that point the sitter should be doing their job............. parents should be ok with a quick hello or goodnight or whatever is needed though. Most other calls can go to the voicemail | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/11/2007 10:15:30 PM | One of my two dates that I got on POF spent over half the evening on her cell phone. She was conducting business druing our first date.
I never asked for a second date.
If someone treats you badly on a first date, think how they will treat you 6 months later.
And on a personal note, while cell phones can be useful or life saving, I still hate the things and got along fine without them when they were the toys of the rich. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/12/2007 12:01:24 AM |
I do not leave home without my phone, I may not always answer it but I never leave without it
I have children and feel that as their mom they should be able to reach me if they want to, not only if they have an emergency, one of my children has health problems and does on occasion have an emergency, but also if they want to say goodnight or ask a question or something else , it has yet to be a problem and bother a date though they have been very short calls, he always seems to understand that my kids need just a moment.
I would never want a man I am out with to ignore his children while out with me unless of course it was going something like this " but he said I was a booger face first, nuuh that was after she called me a poopie head and stuck her tongue out at me..... "etc, etc, at that point the sitter should be doing their job............. parents should be ok with a quick hello or goodnight or whatever is needed though. Most other calls can go to the voicemail
What did parents do before cell phones? What if your battery runs low because you forgot to recharge it?
I used to babysit my niece and nephew for my sister and her husband in the 1970's and 1980's before cell phones. I do understand in 2007 there are not as many pay phones available, therefore, cell phones are the way to go. What I do not understand is why some people feel that they have to constantly communicate with their children when they have a free evening out? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of having some free time?. Children should not feel that they "own" the parents 100% of the time. These are the same ones who grow up and still live with the parents when they are past 30 years old!! The parents have never broken the apron strings. When I used to babysit I kept the kids occupied with games and reading until they would go to sleep! It would defeat the purpose of the parent's night out if they would talk to the kids throughout the evening. They would leave emergency numbers and where they could be reached. After all they would be gone at most 4-6 hours, not out of the country for two or three weeks.
BTW I see on your profile that you smoke often. You also state that one of your children has health problems. Not to beat up on you, but do you think your child 's health would be improved in a smoke free environment? | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/12/2007 7:19:32 PM | blady,as usual your remarks are rich with valuable information. I also do not understand these women that feel like their children are just on a LONGER umbilical cord. Cut the damn cords so YOU can have a life, Mom! I mean do you really want to be on POF until they put the crows in your yard on your birthday? I myself would really like to me a woman before you-know-what shivels off and dies...  Cell phones do serve a purpose,BUT NOT A DATE ,ESP. A FIRST TIME MEETING! Lord or Lord,please detach these alien things from thy dates ear,for a few hours so I can enjoy thy beautiful uninterrupted presence. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/12/2007 7:51:25 PM |
Cell phones do serve a purpose,BUT NOT A DATE ,ESP. A FIRST TIME MEETING! Lord or Lord,please detach these alien things from thy dates ear,for a few hours so I can enjoy thy beautiful uninterrupted presence
It isn't just this topic on this thread, but as a general observation of the fora, that I wonder how many of the people expounding their theories are actually dating in the real world, and how many are sitting at home concocting theories about what they'd do on a date, if they had one.
In terms of this topic, there are two questions, primarily.
One, is do people take their cell phones with them on dates? The answer, for the overwhelming majority of people is "yes". It's not an "unusual" thing. Most people, in 2007, take their cell phones with them, wherever they go. I know very few people, who don't, and see no reason why any sane, reasonable person would object to a date having a cell phone on his/her person.
The second has to do with rudeness. It IS rude to have a telephone conversation, when you are having a "meeting" with someone else, be that a business meeting, or a social meeting, as a first date is. Apart from a call that is both urgent and important, it would be disrespectful to ignore a date, and have a phone conversation. It would essentially be like being in a restaurant, and seeing someone you know there, leaving your date at the table, and going over and spending 5-10 minutes talking to someone else, while ignoring her.
I don't continue to date rude or disrespectful women, although if she were rude in that way, the odds are that she's not very "into" me, anyway, so it might be moot. I think that most real people, who are really dating, know this stuff anyway. In the real world, it's not that hard to figure it out. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:10:50 AM | When I go on a first meeting/date, I want your undivided "attention". I give mine so naturally expect the same. I don't want any "What's up?" calls from your family/friends or beeping reminders of some innocuous event in your life. That means all cell phones/pagers/iPods/electronic planners are OFF!
If the nature of your business requires 24/7 contact (which in most cases I seriously doubt, and owes more to your inflated sense of self-worth and ego), you can have things on but you better TELL the person "beforehand" that their conversation has the potential to be constantly interrupted or abruptly ended at a moment's notice. Anything less and you're grossly misrepresenting yourself, which sends a giant red flag that counsels "against" you being relationship material.
If you have a current family emergency or pressing obligation, you shouldn't be meeting in the first place. You should be 100% focused on whatever exigencies exist at the time.
If you need to keep abreast of potential emergencies with your kids, excuse your self after 20 minutes and go to an inconspicuous place (out of earshot not only for your date, but other patrons as to not intrude on their space), "then" check your messages and/or call the kids/babysitter for an update.
If you're concerned about security, you take reasonable, sensible precautions to avoid compromising it: always meet in a public place "you're" comfortable with, never get into their car alone, and never agree to meet at their place before, during, or toward the end of the date.
These are perfectly fair, honest, and legitimate guidelines, which I find no reason to question unless you're so afraid of being disconnected for even the briefest periods of time from your cell that you'll suffer heroin withdrawal-like convulsions and suicidal hallucinations.
Please, "enjoy" some frickin' independence in your life, people.
 Mo | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/13/2007 2:53:29 PM | i for one take my phone every were,yes i have daughter and a couple of times i have had a call from her when i have been out,to say she has been unwell,so i have left were ever i have been and come home,my daughter comes first and no one would tell me to leave my phone at home.
I have had a fair number of first meets, dates, and a couple of longer term relationships in the 8 years since my divorce. I've never gone out anywhere on any of them without my cell, but I can't remember every having a conversation on the cell, while on a "first date". It's on vibrate, and if it vibrates, I look at caller ID. It's never come up that it was a call from a number that had the potential to be "urgent and important". Having the phone is a "just in case" thing, or to use, while on the date, if I need to call for information, like directions, to some place we both think would be cool to go to after dinner, or something like that.
Every woman I've dated has been a mom, and if any of them got a call from her sick child, and decided that our date was more important than her child, she wouldn't have been the right one for me, anyway.
As I said, my real world experience has shown this not to be a big deal, and don't remember ever having a conversation about cell phones before, during, or after a first date. If I were with a woman, who had "issues" about me having my cell phone with me, it would be an indicator that we weren't a match.
I will add, though, that accepting as I am of the technology of the here and now, I might be taken aback by a date, who brought along a FAX machine. Moderation, I think, and common sense, are the key. :) | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/13/2007 3:56:14 PM | | Cell phones on a date are a big turnoff. I know, sometimes ,it is a way to get out of a bad date or first meeting. I had a buddy call me (from the restroom) and said ,"Call me and tell me that one of my pipes broke in the basement and I have to get home right away to shut the main water line off". I knew he was having a bad first date so I did it. If a lady brings her cell phone along (on a first meeting/date) and chats on it or constantly checks it for messages (voice or text)...NO SECOND DATE WITH THIS MAN!...Don't care how hot she is. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:25:02 PM | | What is it with all these people bringing cells to get out of a "bad date"? Have you ever heard of,"I am sorry,we just aren't connecting" or "we just don't have any common interests"?...Sometimes being honest and forthright isn't such a bad idea. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:42:31 PM | | My last date used his mobile in a possibly the worst way ever. He text his brother whilst I was in the toilet to get him to ring a while later with a fake 'emergency'. Not a happy bunny really was rather upsetting. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/16/2007 6:10:56 PM | I am one of the "odd" one on this site. I do not have a personal cell phone. why? Because I have a cell phone for my job, I live in a very rural area and cell phone service is rather limited, I am not sure I wish to add another expense to my plate.
Now don't get me wrong I think cell phones are a great idea and have their place in todays world. But I am not sure that I enjoyed my daughter cusing her cell phone to call me on our home phone at 11:30 one night just to tell me she wanted to get up early the next morning. Especially since her room is right next to mine...she could have spoke loudly and I would have heard her.
As far as the OP question...I don't think it is a matter of need. I think when a person purchases a cell phone they typically take it with them everywhere they go. It becomes a part of them...like a watch or a ring you always wear. I know if I leave for work without my watch on I feel naked all day.
As far as children since I do not have a cell phone I always leave the number to where I am going to be in case of emergency and I can't see what the difference would be if they called the number I gace them or a cell phone. Bottom line no matter how well we plan for our childrens care while we are out; our children are our responsibility, even when we are on a date. As far as the OP's initial post I have been on a few dates where my dates cell phone rang and he did answer it. Some men talk for quite a while. While some men talked for just a moment. I never asked who it was calling. A few did offer an explanation even though I did not require it.
If my date answers the phone while we are out on a date I do my best to occupy myself so not to appear to be eavesdropping. I excuse myself and take advantage on the opportunity to freshen up or read my menu. If a man went on and on and spoke for a great length of time yet did not provide any explanation as to why once the call was completed I would probably not go out with him again because manners matter and I would consider it rude.
Now if his phone was ringing of the hook I would hope that my date would silence their phone sooner than later or we could end the date and reschedule if it were an emergemcy situation. If the man is in sales I would expect him to answer his phone if we went on a date during typical work hours depending on his industry. If he were a M.D. he probably would have to answer his phone as well, and the list goes on... | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/16/2007 9:00:40 PM | [If the man is in sales I would expect him to answer his phone if we went on a date during typical work hours depending on his industry. If he were a M.D. he probably would have to answer his phone as well, and the list goes on...]
Hmmmm...well,if he was in sales and he was on a date,I can't see how you would enjoy just hearing him ranting off "sales lines"...and if he was a Dr.,he could still use the voice mail system...Believe me,there isn't too many Doctors that don't make it a point to have a life also. We are humans and if we don't force ourselves to leave our work for a little time of our own,then we will never be happy. I am talking to myself on this one. I work almost everyday I don't have my kids to spend more time with them,but I still need a little time of MY OWN. Hopefully we all try to do that or we will end up in the looney house... | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/16/2007 9:07:52 PM | Iamtheone39:
I agree with your post on people usng the cell phone to get out of bad sdates. There are real emergencies and the idiots who arange these fake emergencies phone calls to get out of a date are the reason we even have to have this debate.
If you must take a call fine but do not make it a prolonged call. The fake emergency/bail out phone call is rude...man what did we do before cell phones and e-mail and Instant messages? We had to talk to each other face to face!!!!
No wonder relationships do not work, no one communicates with each other for crying out loud!!!
I hate the games some people play in modern dating. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/16/2007 9:10:52 PM |
well,if he was in sales and he was on a date,I can't see how you would enjoy just hearing him ranting off "sales lines".
Higher end sales, involves a lot more than "sales lines", so obviously you have no conception of what that call might be about. Although not a first date, Heidi and I were doing something on a vacation day I took to be with her. There was a question about servicing one of my accounts, and getting an answer from me was both urgent and important to servicing the customer's needs. It had to do with which version of a commercial was to air that day, and the paperwork had gotten messed up.
Had Heidi been one of those technophobes, who hates cell phones, or so insecure, that paying attention to an important business matter for 3 minutes would have made her feel "shunned", it might have been different. As it was, in a short time, I was able to avert a serious problem from being an "issue" the following week.
So, I did get a phone call, on a week day, when we were together, and there were no repurcussions, because we are both sane and reasonable people, who understands that having a responsible job, sometimes entails dealing with responsibilities. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/17/2007 12:13:34 PM | Do you notice how the women all seem to have missed the point here
i think the orignal posting was not refering to a emergency call but more to the call from a mate who then continue to have a conversation with them over the phone or the text from mate or daughter to see if they are ok, not a problem, good sence, But when the reply of "yes everything is fine" is sent then that should be the end of the texts but i have been on a few dates where the messages never seemed to stop and the long drawn out reply seemed to be more important than the date. I do take mine with me but put on silent so can see after the date if i had a call and ring back, only polite i think.
but the reply to the women who say thier son is more important than a date, i agree they are but if they are not safe to be left for a couple of hours then get a sitter or stop at home till they are | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/17/2007 2:37:36 PM | @zzz; Could it be that some parents are what they call "helicopter parents" because they "hover " around their children? Parents give your children some breathing room. You also need breathing room.Don't you trust the babysitter to contact you if something major happens?
A few hours spent away from your child will do you both good. When they are in school, do you cell phone them all during the schoolday? I think not.
BTW. I hear that some parents go with their child on their first job interview. What for ? Aren't they potty trained by then or do the parents bring some extra Pampers in case their 16-21 year old has an accident? | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/17/2007 3:35:09 PM | Okay, I work live and die by my blackberry. I will turn the ringer off if I am in a first meeting and set the filters such that only level 3 people get to me. (that means if shit reallly hits the fan and a few billion dollars is gonna go boom they can reach me)
So some of us actually do have to be chained down. When I am not secondary, I turn it off so the light blinks only. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/17/2007 5:04:35 PM |
@zzz; Could it be that some parents are what they call "helicopter parents" because they "hover " around their children?
Are you planning on continuing off topic posts about parenting styles, and being the self-designated "expert" on parenting? You could, if you like, start a thread on parenting, and then those who, for whatever their unimaginable reasons, who actually care what you think about parenting, could go there and read and ask you questions.
In terms of the actual topic, many parents feel that they want to be accessible to their children, even as their children are young adults. It's a healthy relationship style, and one I have with my daughters. "Little emergencies", like my 25 year old being lost, and calling her dad, in trust that I usually know how to get her to somewhere that she'll recognize. It happened twice last year, but when it did, it was both urgent and important and took about 2 minutes. I wouldn't want to be a dad, who felt that she "has to fend for herself, now, because she's a grown up". If that's your style, fine, but I didn't come to this thread, nor did anyone else, to get "parenting advice". My daughters are doing fine, and are well adjusted, accomplished young women, thank you very much. | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 522 | |
| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/17/2007 6:26:10 PM | ^^^^ wow, pretty harsh there! A simple reminder of OT would be nice!
My daughters are doing fine, and are well adjusted, accomplished young women, thank you very much.
And this is ...............OT??
I actually see this as on topic as she is stating WHY she believes it isn't necessary for the cell phone........
So continueing the discussion........cell phones on dates....
.......By all means............bring your phones........take your emergency calls, if a man won't allow you to have an emergency then do you really want to date him?
NOW, how many emergencies do you REALLY HAVE?? Like Melo, I do need to handle situations that might come up at work........however, that is the nature of my job and any man that I am with probably ALREADY understands this before we go out........and generally, I can make it through most dates without ever answering the phone(it's on vibrate always, I hate hearing a ring). I'm always polite and ask do you mind I really need to take this..........I wrap it up quickly but rarely does this happen.
Just chatting to friends/family or texting on a cell phone while on a date IS RUDE, disrespectful and that would explain why some aren't dating much or for any length of time.
Diva | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/17/2007 7:03:29 PM | While I understand your concern regarding ~ being rude ~
I'll tell you straight out ~ I, and many like me, run a small empire ~ I worked and fought and built with much effort and sacarfice ~ and I will conduct my affairs ~ I assure you, ~ My date is of interest and a consern or I'd not be spending time with them. ~ But there is no government money here! ~ no 401 k, no retirement plan. ~ It runs 24/7 , not my preference, but my life no less. I am a professional, I work for money, I produce ~ If You love my money and me ~ you love my dog!
Any one that would suggest , to even carry a phone on a date as a no-no ~ tells me , they are not living in the real world ~ but has managed to aquire themselfs a soft spot somewhere and think everyone else must be like them.
A very narrow view of people and life. ~dar | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/18/2007 2:59:37 AM | | I'm afraid that in this rare instance I must disagree with you Diva. My dates always bring their phones with them and are forever checking to see who the caller is and frequently will even speak to them. Afterall she has to know where her next trick is plus what do I care what she is doing while in the doggie position. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/18/2007 7:34:10 PM | | well then ReachMe - you are dating the wrong girls. Not all women sit there chatting ad nauseum on the phone and checking it consistently while on a date. If a girl is really in to you, unless it's an emergency, she won't answer her phone - she'd rather be talking with you. | |
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