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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/18/2007 7:45:41 PM | Ok well... I have kids and if its a restaurant date that means that I will be gone for a while and if it is an emergancy/call from the person looking after my kid then ye I answer my vibrating phone and quite frankly if you dont /cant accept that my kids are important to me then I would rather go home with my vibrating phone and leave you at the restaurant !!
and if your a real dud then I want a bail out option too ... not that I have ever had to use it but its there if i need it!
Me, my kids and my cell Phone are a package deal !!! I should put that on my profile :)
I suggest that you dont date anyone that has kids
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/18/2007 7:49:16 PM | | All should have a cell phone on dates...in case they get attacked, stranded, or such. It should probably be in silent mode during a meet, though, so it's ring doesn't interrupt. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/19/2007 6:48:13 AM |
What did people do before cell phones?
I vaguely recall those days of yore, and it's not a pleasant memory. I know, too, that there was a time before people had personal computers, and going back a little further, there was a time before almost everyone had air conditioning in their cars and homes. Those are awful times to contemplate. I'm glad that those days are in the past.
I have been out with my neice,her boyfriend and her only child, a 12 year old boy. She still talks and text messages.!! What's up with that? I am sure that she does this on a date with her boyfriend even if her son is with them.
In an established relationship, it really depends on the people involved. Text messages can be read and replied to, when it's convenient. They don't demand immediate attention, in the same way as a phone call, so, personally, I'm not offended, if a friend responds to his/her text messages, so long as we aren't in the middle of discussing something that requires full attention. Like, talking to another guy about the Brewers and the pennant chase with the Cubs, isn't "urgent" or "important", and if, he got and replied to a text message from his wife, I'm not "offended".
In the context of a first date, yes, I'd be offended if a "date" took a personal phone call that was neither urgent nor important, and spent a long time on the call. I'd be as offended as I would be, if she saw a friend in the restaurant, and proceeded to have a long conversation with her, in the middle of a first date. In a relationship, though, we're increasingly "sharing lives" and cell phones are part of a full and balanced life in 2007, so, no, I am not offended. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/19/2007 6:57:14 AM | Hmmm. I suppose there are NO MORE new subjects to start these threads as the cell phone issue has been done -- to death. Here was my take with some editing on a similar thread that asked if cell phones were the new cigarettes.
CELL PHONES ARE THE NEW CIGARETTES!!
Posted: 2/22/2006 4 54 AM I really detest cell phones, but in many situations they are very handy and convenient to have-- and have been known to have saved lives. And known to be the instrument to record the last words of someone's love and impending tragedy. Keeping in touch with family members, running late to a meeting, etc. are also good reasons. I have one of those pre-paid cheapos, the kind without the camera and the fancy case. I keep mine handy and use it in case of emergencies or if I know to expect a call when I am out. But never when I am with a date. Being out with a date who has to have his with him for a few more calls "puffs," particularly during a casual get-together on a weekend day or during an evening dining experience -- really turns me off. It is so rude. Yes, this type is addicted to cell phones. They can't wait to take the next call or to make a call and that is really sad. Ruins a date for me. I've been known to walk! All those people in a restaurant environment who have to blow their cell fumes into your ear drums! And all those people who just have to have another cell call at the traffic light and then proceed in heavy traffic to drive slowly for the next 5 miles. Yep! Cell phones as the new cigarettes, probably true -- unfortunately. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:30:19 AM |
p.s.I would like to ask all parents...when you are out with your children do you still answer the cell? What other" emergencies" do you anticipate?
okay, maybe i don't understand the question...but i'll answer it anyway, yes, when i'm out with my kids i answer my cell phone. what's your point?
this thread is hilarious. there are a number of us who have kids who say that if there is an emergency while we are out without our kids, we would like to be available to them.
i fail to see why that is so horrific to the anti-cell phone posters.
once again, my cell phone rarely rings & i would not answer it on a date unless i thought it was very important. i am not the person who sits in a restaurant & lets the phone ring & ring & ring, i am not the person who is always talking on my phone, i am not the person who talks while driving...but YES, i have a cell phone.
believe it or not, some of us can actually use our phones responsibly & be respectful towards the people around us & the people we are with. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:37:57 AM | Basically, cell phones are just like anything else. All people have to do is use common sense...and have some balance and awareness of those around them. Not a big deal.
Being on your cell phone to the point where you're unaware of your surroundings or ignoring someone you're meeting for extended periods of time is extreme; and at the same time, dismissing someone because they have a cell phone with them before you know how they use it is also extreme.
Yes, when with people it's polite to try not to use your cell phone if it's not an emergency, keep it on vibrate or silent and check it if you're expecting a call, and of course using it in places like a play, a restaurant, or other places where you'd disturb others in the room is not a good idea.
If you have it with you and use it with common sense, none of this thread would be needed... | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/19/2007 4:37:03 PM |
Unfortunately, way too many people DON'T use common sense with cells
right, i agree. but in this thread it seems that the anti-cell-phoners are ALL or NOTHING...which is just plain silly. i mean, c'mon, because i have my phone with me i'm disrespecting my date? absurd. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/19/2007 4:41:37 PM | Agreed.
Not to mention the fact that if I break down some place I wouldn't be able to call you to cancel until you were online, pissed, and writing a forum post about what a big jerk I was for standing you up.... | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:18:53 PM | | That thirty year old could have a massive heart attack or need emergency surgery with your consent if he;s not able to answer for himself or herself with no spouse You still think an hr date is worth your thirty yr old son or daughters life? As for me Better safe than sorry ! I have ill parents and if they call I will answer because for many yrs they answered for me! So do whatever floats your boat ! Good luck! one_rose1969 | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/19/2007 7:27:09 PM | | Agreed. Cell phones can be taken on a date as a safety measure or for emergencies. However, they should not be answered when on the date. If an emergency, a code system should be established where a text message can be left or a ring count system put in place prior to the outing. The phones should also be put on silent mode and simply checked but in a very diplomatic way. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:12:52 PM |
That thirty year old could have a massive heart attack or need emergency surgery with your consent if he;s not able to answer for himself or herself with no spouse You still think an hr date is worth your thirty yr old son or daughters life? As for me Better safe than sorry ! I have ill parents and if they call I will answer because for many yrs they answered for me! So do whatever floats your boat ! Good luck! one_rose1969
I agree no problem. I do wonder about the parents who feel that they must constantly be available for an hour- by- hour update on the mundane activities of their children while out for an evening with another adult. I also wonder about calls like "Make Bobby stop hitting/looking at me". "Susie broke my toy/ ate my cookie" . Where is the babysitter? A compentent babysitter should be able to handle the children after the parents instill into their offspring to behave the babysitter. My sister always instilled the importance of behaving and following my orders when I used to babysit in the 1980's before cell phones. I will emphasize cell phones are great when used for REAL emergencies. However, to each his/her own..just my two cents worth!!
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:24:41 PM |
I do wonder about the parents who feel that they must constantly be available for an hour- by- hour update on the mundane activities of their children while out for an evening with another adult. I also wonder about calls like "Make Bobby stop hitting/looking at me". "Susie broke my toy/ ate my cookie" . Where is the babysitter? A compentent babysitter should be able to handle the children after the parents instill into their offspring to behave the babysitter
Blady, I really find the fact that you have posted 4 times in this thread, somewhat derisive commentary about parents being available to their children. Your profile says you don't have children, so you're not credible on the subject. Apparently, you have some underlying anger about children, and I'm sorry about that; but it has nothing to do with the thread's topic.
Very few people, in fact none that I know of, have the "Maommy, make Bobby stop hitting me" phone calls on a first date. It's a "made up" scenario, that just doesn't happen. Nor have I ever, not ever, not even once been out on a first date with a woman with children, who called home "hour by hour" to monitor the activities of her children. It's a "made up" scenarion, that doesn't happen in real life.
What people do, and I think it's just being a responsible parent, is if they have children living at home, is to let their children know when they expect to be home, and know that, "in an emergency", they can reach a parent on the cell phone. Never, ever, not even once, have I been on a first date with someone, when a call like that has come in, but it's reassuring to both children and parent, to know that, if really needed, the phone will be with the mom "just in case".
Another piece of technology that I've found that every woman I've been out with on a first date has, is a radio/stereo in her car. I don't feel threatened by that, when I've ended up riding in her car. I would think it rude, if she turned it on, slipped in a CD or connected her Ipod, and cranked the volume up, so that conversation would be impossible.
A cell phone is just a tool, that most people have in 2007, to stay connected with friends and family, if something urgent and important were to come up. By itself, it poses no threat to civility. Misuse could, but it's never happened in my experience, that the cell phone has been used irresponsibly. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 3:15:16 AM | | Well I'm the only one pretty much left! My youngest brother doesn't come over unless wanting something and the oldest brother passed away 6 yrs ago! Whereas I have no children! So sorry it's just me! However I do have respect and let them know right off if they call I lways put it on vibrate and usually hope for the best! It's not like it's on 24/7 and at least with it on me I feel alittle better about going out and not feeling so guilty! | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 5:27:26 AM |  Look, people, we're getting into semantics with this.
The OP stipulated that he doesn't believe people should have a cell phone "with" them on a first date (which seems to be the sticking point cell abusers hang onto for their disagreement and arguments). I feel people can have them if they want, but I strongly believe "any" electronic device should be "turned off" in the presence of your date as to minimize the potential of interrupting the conversation every five seconds. I don't want it on "vibrate" or "beep" mode, either, because you'd still wanna fumble around every time it goes off to see who's calling. Interruptions are interruptions, period. I've been on dates/meetings when this has happened too many times to count (which many have concurred), and now have a zero tolerance policy. I simply won't put up with it.
If you're in an occupation where constant cell use is unavoidable, then of course you're gonna have it with you no matter what, regardless of what anyone says, so the point is moot. However, like I said earlier, you should TELL the person you're meeting BEFOREHAND about this condition so they're mentally prepared for the interruptions. If I get that info beforehand I'll probably stop things right there because I don't want to go out with someone that wired to work. They'd simply drive me nuts. But at least you'd be honest in telling me upfront, saving both of us wasted time.
To the larger point of what I call rampant cell "abuse" in this society, I think carrying on loud conversations on your phone everywhere in public is extremely rude and discourteous to everyone within earshot, but most people that exhibit this behavior are too arrogant and egotistical to care and don't really heed criticism anyway, right? But rude is rude, no matter what context you want to dress it up in. | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 543 | |
| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 7:20:50 AM | This is a cell phone on date thread..............if you don't like someone's response and think they are breaking rules, then report them...........but is it really necessary to berate them? Melo I'm shocked! You seem really annoyed by this woman, maybe there is a history there? This woman has stated her opinion and why has it struck such a cord with YOU. That might bear looking into. But you have gone on half a page to "disclaim" her..........how is that any better? just because it hasn't happened to you...........doesn't mean it hasn't happened.............did you read the other cell phone threads?? I've read so many stories about this rudeness I'm surprised you are not familiar with those from this site alone?
People are getting up in arms and I think it's mainly misunderstanding the point. If there is an emergency, I'm sure NO ONE HERE would fault you for handling it. But to just chat on the phone on a date is rude FOR ME.............however, if people are comfortable doing that with one another, especially on a first date.............then so be it.......perfect match!!!!!
Some don't like it period.............
That being said, She makes a good point about overly indulged children and I think she's connected it well to this thread even if it might have a better forum as a whole new topic.............
Diva | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 8:04:44 AM | I'm torn because I like all of you (blady, Melo, and Diva ~ hugs), so I'll be diplomatic and say you're all Fabulous people (how's that for waffling).
 Mo | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 8:26:49 AM |
I have been thinking about this issue for some time and would love to throw it to the readers...cell phones on a first date. I think any woman/man that would bring a cell phone into the restaurant with them on a first date is rude,inconsiderate,and is downright out of place in the singles dating world. I know women/or men will make excuses like,"my kids have this and this and they might need to get in contact with me"...sorry,not good enough...you should have taken care business before the date. My mom and dad did fine and they didn't have cells when I wasn't around yet during their dating lives. I just personally find it offensive to keep answering phones,and telling callers that "you can call me back" during a "first meeting" is totally out of place. What do other single people think about this issue?
The way i see it, we are in a different era now. We can't just wish cell phones to go away. At the same time, it's probably more respectful to leave it on vibrate or just take messages during a date.. you can't help it if people call you, but you CAN help it if you can see who's calling and not take an unimportant call during a date.
I understand a mother having one with her if her kids call. No arguement there.
The only time i find it annoying is when it's used as an escape from awkward situations (like being alone in public.. eg: you go to the bathroom and she's at the table by herself.. she whips out the phone and just blabs because she doesn't know what else to do before you get back) When a cell is used the same way a cigarette is used in a bar or having a drink in your hand.... then it's annoying. | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 547 | |
| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:34:27 AM | NO need to waffle MO.................You don't have to agree with me to receive hugs back.........and I don't think Melo or Blady will care either................I don't agree with many of my dearest friends on loads of topics.............but love them dearly!
smoootches all and have the most amazing day,
Diva | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 10:23:29 AM | | They are rude rude rude!!! Should only be on if have children or expecting a call you've already advised ur waiting on. There should be NO texting or taking calls when on a date!!!! | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 12:33:08 PM |
if you don't like someone's response and think they are breaking rules, then report them...........but is it really necessary to berate them? Melo I'm shocked! You seem really annoyed by this woman, maybe there is a history there?
No, Diva. From her profile, Blady seems like she is a good woman. Yes, I was "really annoyed" about the comments in reference to having a cell phone, so as to be available for my daughters, and it was that the same comment kept being made, that I reacted. It would seem that it was a stronger response, than the situation merited, and it is definitely not "personal" in terms of being negative towards her.
As a general comment, some of the "anti cell phone" comments seem way over the top, and totally inconsistent with real life experience, that it just leaves me wondering if some posters lives are really so totally different from my experience. Of course, that's not unlike a lot of threads on POF. LOL | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 5:22:40 PM |
As a general comment, some of the "anti cell phone" comments seem way over the top, and totally inconsistent with real life experience, that it just leaves me wondering if some posters lives are really so totally different from my experience. Of course, that's not unlike a lot of threads on POF. LOL
Melo, my friend, since I seem to be the most vociferous critic of cell “abuse” (I make the distinction between that and legitimate use) in here, I’ll answer your observation.
First off, I think your posts have been extremely prescient, intelligent, and fair. As I’ve already said, I like you, and agree with practically all your views.
I read some of your earlier comments and understand cell use is a modern convenience and with us for good. I’m not one that thinks we should turn back progress and return to the horse and buggy days. Cell phones are ubiquitous, they’re everywhere, and they’re beneficial when used properly.
Ahhhh, but there’s the catch. Cell “abuse” is pernicious and rising—I see its abuse far more today than even a couple years ago and it seems to be getting worse. To me, unchecked public cell use is a form of noise pollution, almost as aggravating and insidious as people sitting next to you talking through a concert or movie, ruining your experience, or people that blast hip-hop out of their vehicles at 300 decibels. Don’t even talk to me about cell use while driving. I drive at least 80 miles a day to/from work so believe I can honestly qualify my anger on at least this subject. For all the warnings to avoid being distracted I see an explosion of cell use on the highway, which makes driving that much more dangerous.
And if you think I’m some lone wolf critic in a sea of cell lovers, many cities have passed or are thinking of passing ordinances regulating cell use in public, just as with smoking. The only reason is because its abuse has gotten so out of hand many people like me are plainly fed up and want action. No one has a "right" to be an abusive, inconsiderate, discourteous @ss in public, and cell abusers are no different. | |
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Unfortunately, way too many people DON'T use common sense with cells, hence why this thread is needed. 
