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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 5:27:46 PM | | Theres no need, you can always put it on vibrate or *gasp* oh my god, turn it off. That and cell phones at movie theaters, need to be forced to check if they are off or on vibrate or something. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 6:23:39 PM |
No one has a "right" to be an abusive, inconsiderate, discourteous @ss in public, and cell abusers are no different.
I think that, both in terms of your post, and in reference to the OT, there is a decided decline in civility and basic courtesy in our culture. That's unfortunate, but all I can do is how I live my life, how I raised my daughters, and what behavior I will "accept" in my personal life.
I would take issue with you, in terms of public policy, and perception, about the "danger" of cell use, while driving. Suffice it to say, cell use can cause distracted driving, but is way down the list, compared with many other everyday things people do in their cars. But, we don't need to exchange views about that in great depth, because this thread pertains, really, to basic courtesy on a "date". | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 553 | |
| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 6:57:56 PM | Melo ya know what's funny, I didn't even realize that you were USING a cell phone to any extent as she was suggesting. I just thought you were stickin up for people who like to chat on dates? Obviously I missed a bunch somewhere so yes, I guess it makes sense to me now so that is from where you became annoyed......gotcha..........I missed some stuff here probably but I can't imagine you doing that abusive cell phone BS to a date.......I just can't!
I LOVE MY CELL PHONE don't get me wrong, I don't know how I'd conduct business with out it..........NOOOOOOO don't take it away............however, on a date is a different story.
I have a feeling Blady isn't talking about parents being able to be reached in case of an emergency.......I think she probably understand that need. I also don't think this refers to parents out on a date with a "partner" with whom you have a relationship established............I think this is about "getting to know you" dates/first dates and such and Blady is more likely referring to parents who overindulge their children so that (and mind you the child is watching and learning ) when the child becomes an adult they think.........."so what a really responsible adult does, is tie themselves into knots to be available for their childs every whim.....................okay great I got it"...........and I think she was using those who have their children call during dates just to say............well let's suffice it to say, really unnecessary calls............I can't believe you would have done that on first dates or "getting to you" meetings and not be perturbed by the constant disturbance.........I've read some horror stories on here.............I take my children's calls because if they call me and know I'm on a date.........then it must be urgent/ important................If my children should happen to call me ANYTIME they will ask If I have a minute, 3 minutes, 5 minutes(whatever they surmise it will take) they understand my work and therefore that's just protocol now unless there is an emergency. I guess that is how I operate my cell phone.............everyone else is free to do as they see fit..........
HOWEVER MAY I JUST SAY........people please be respectful of others and ask your date if your going to be "text messaging" or talking on the phone to just catch up with folks, if that is okay with them.............it's just good manners.........I'll be surprised how many are OKAY with this...........but as I said........to each his own! | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 7:51:58 PM |
Melo ya know what's funny, I didn't even realize that you were USING a cell phone to any extent as she was suggesting. I just thought you were stickin up for people who like to chat on dates? Obviously I missed a bunch somewhere so yes, I guess it makes sense to me now so that is from where you became annoyed......gotcha..........I missed some stuff here probably but I can't imagine you doing that abusive cell phone BS to a date.......I just can't!
I've had a lot of first dates over the past 8 years, during which time cell phones have increasingly become ubiquitous. My cell phone is vital to me in business, and it's important to me to be available to friends and family, too. So, I can't imagine going anywhere without it. I assume that the women I've dated for the first meeting have their phones too.
In all that time, I can't reacall ever having received, let alone placed, a phone call during a first meeting. None of my "first dates" have either. I think to do so, for anything less than something that is truly both "urgent" and "important", it would be an extremely rude thing to do, and I like to think that my "pre-date" screening would have uncovered that someone was selfish and rude, before we actually met. Scheduling a time of day, where a meeting is durning non-business hours, has something to do with that too.
Relationships are different. Once you are spending a lot of time together, you are going to get phone calls, and so is she. It's part of life, and as we merge our lives over a lot of time, getting phone calls is part of it.
The reaction to posts about being available to my daughters hit home in a negative way, because I do think it's important for children to know that their parents are "always there" if needed. I also think it's important to teach children, as they grow up, to be respectful that other people have lives too. So, yes, it's possible that my 19 year old could call me, to let me know that she's lost, and ask me for directions. It's happened. Not often, but it has happened, just never yet on a date. If she did call during a first date, though, I would have given her directions, and been off the phone in a couple of minutes, with an explanation that it was both urgent and important. If I were with a date, who didn't understand that, then we wouldn't be a "match". | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 555 | |
| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/20/2007 8:11:55 PM | I agree with you on most all points there Melo. And I have to say, my 19 year old calling me lost and needing directions IS AN EMERGENCY!!
However if Ididn't have my phone..........they are resourceful and I have taught them how to problem solve fairly well and we have many friends they can call upon......THANK GOD!
My phone is always on me as well..............but lately, I have taken back some of my time and on weekends days have left it in the car...........THIS IS A HUGE STEP FOR ME............I'm so excited................and the world did NOT fall apart............whew! I was so relieved! HA | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 5:13:52 AM | I would take issue with you, in terms of public policy, and perception, about the "danger" of cell use, while driving. Suffice it to say, cell use can cause distracted driving, but is way down the list, compared with many other everyday things people do in their cars.
 Melo, I thought if there was ONE point we'd agree on it'd be just how dangerous cell use is while driving....lol. Oh well, live and learn. Cells are still so new that I'm sure there haven't been too many detailed studies about this, but the information that IS out seems to refute cell use while driving is "way down the list" and (at least inferred) should not be taken more seriously. The big push was for hands-free phone use, but I see very little of it on the roads.
ARLINGTON, Va., Sep 1, 2006 (U.S. Newswire via COMTEX) --Common sense as well as experience tell us that handling and dialing cell phones while driving compromise safety, and evidence is accumulating that phone conversations also increase crash risk. Insurance Institute for Highway Safety research in 2005 quantified the added risk -- drivers using phones are four times as likely to get into crashes serious enough to injure themselves.
http://www.insurancenewsnet.com/article.asp?n=1&neID=20060901375.4_8f1a005c3099f4f7
and....
Using Cell Phones While Driving Increases Crash Risk
http://www.webmd.com/news/20000518/using-cell-phones-while-driving-increases-crash-risk
I know we've all seen people do some amazingly dumb things while driving, like drinking soft drinks/coffee, eating, putting on makeup, fiddling with the CD player, carrying on conversations while not looking at the road, etc. But just from my driving observation (agree, completely unscientific), I see cell distraction is much more common than any other form.
Furthermore, as far as I know, cell use while driving is the "only" common societal behavior that's been singled out and banned in various communities in at least three states (New York, New Jersey, and the District of Columbia), with many more considering it. Drinking coffee or putting on makeup is not getting the same attention as far as I can tell...lol.
Their use is also currently banned on airplane flights, but the FCC is reviewing whether to lift the ban. This has drawn protests……
(From an article in Infoworld, March 23, 2007 - http://www.infoworld.com/article/07/03/23/HNplanecell_1.html)
FCC Chairman Kevin Martin said Thursday that he has asked the commission to end its inquiry into whether mobile phones can be used safely on airplanes, based on concerns from ground-based wireless carriers that the calls could interfere with their networks. The FCC's proceeding to lift the ban on mobile phones, launched in December 2004, also drew comments from thousands of passengers who supported the ban.
"To add to the already high noise level within the aircraft by allowing the use of cell phones while in flight is absurd, in my opinion," a Virginia man wrote to the commission in May.
"We are currently experiencing an extreme loss of civility in our country, and cell phones are part of the problem," added a woman from Washington state, in an e-mail to the FCC last April. "Air travel is painful enough without having to listen to one or more cell phone conversations while you're a captive audience."
….and in some sectors of the military.
No Cell Phones While Driving on Marine Bases
http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/marines/a/marinedriving.htm
The information is out there, if people choose to see it.  | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 6:45:53 AM | The last guy I went on a date with answered his cell phone constantly! I finally asked him to turn it off! It is frustrating trying to get to know someone, when they are always on the phone!
We dated a few times and now things have fizzled...seems text messaging is his way to woo a girl!!
Shame too, cause I really dig him! But, I prefer a man I can talk to in person!
As for me, I will only answer my phone if it appears important! It is set to vibrate and forgotten! | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 7:19:42 AM | In respect for everyone, we live in a society of instant gratification. YES, we can live without a cell phone for a few hours. Do we want to, NO!! Ever meet anyone that does not have a cell phone and states that he never has a use for it? We think this guy is wierd, admit it.
Using a cell phone in company of others is only a choice you can make, you take the risks. Have we ever had to pick our nose or pass gas on a date? We sneak off to the restroom so that we will not be considered rude.
Answering or making a call in front of your date just shows that you are not that interested in them to focus all of your attention on them.
"HEAD DOCTOR" | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 7:20:12 AM | In respect for everyone, we live in a society of instant gratification. YES, we can live without a cell phone for a few hours. Do we want to, NO!! Ever meet anyone that does not have a cell phone and states that he never has a use for it? We think this guy is wierd, admit it.
Using a cell phone in company of others is only a choice you can make, you take the risks. Have we ever had to pick our nose or pass gas on a date? We sneak off to the restroom so that we will not be considered rude.
Answering or making a call in front of your date just shows that you are not that interested in them to focus all of your attention on them.
"HEAD DOCTOR" | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 10:54:20 AM | I just had yet another little example of public cell rudeness.
I go to the local Borders for lunch to grab a book, do some reading, and (hopefully) relax for 30 minutes. It's the only break during a hectic work day I look forward to.
I usually sequester myself in a quiet section of the store for peace and quiet, only this day my solitude was destroyed. Why? Because some moron had to serenade me with his fantasy football conversation with his buddy, which I'm sure half the store could hear because his phone volume was turned up so loud. I should have walked over and politely demanded he shove that phone where the sun don't shine, but I don't want to be dragged down to his level (although the impulse gets more difficult to squelch every day....lol).
I know this latest example is probably too insignificant for cell lovers to even get a chuckle over, but it goes to the core reason of my dissatisfaction with cell use, the total disrespect cell "abusers" show for the people around them. The world is NOT your living room, people.
 Mo | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 11:20:42 AM | I take my phone everywhere, but I turn it on vibrate when I am on a date; just as I would if I was in a movie, etc.
I do check it maybe when I go to the restroom or get in the car. Then if I had a call from my someone like my mom (she's 73 and would only call if it's really important) I could return make a short call before going back to my date.
I have however, thought I turned it off once during a date, and apparently had not because it rang during dinner. I was very embarrassed and very apologetic.
My current guy and I have a rule...no cell phones turned on when we are spending time together. Other people can talk to us later when we are not spending quality time together.
Personally, I think it's rude to talk on your cell phone during a date or even when you are just out to lunch with a friend. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 1:29:49 PM |
I know this latest example is probably too insignificant for cell lovers to even get a chuckle over, but it goes to the core reason of my dissatisfaction with cell use, the total disrespect cell "abusers" show for the people around them.
I don't think the division here is between those who are "cell phone lovers" vs. "technophobes". I haven't heard anyone defending rudeness, which is what talking on your phone, while on a first date, would be. As would things like the guy in the Border's, or the people who have their phones ring in church, the theater, a restaurant, a meeting, etc..
The OT, and the "controlversy" is if it's "wrong" to bring your cell phone with you, in case of something urgent and important, while on a date. | |
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D90620
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Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 563 | |
| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 3:38:54 PM | | If anyone take a cell phone on a date. There are saying to you in a way. I rather be with someone else. That why they have answer machines. If your kids are young. You should have a baby sitter that know what to do without having to call you. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 8:14:58 PM | | When it's my turn to play God, the first thing to disappear will be the cell phone. It's the modern definition of rude. If it's an "exit plan", then that is rude and shallow. If the first encounter is a disappointment, then have the decency to deal with it. But then, I'll never be God and some people will always be rude. Turn it off and enjoy your date..... | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 8:51:12 PM |
When it's my turn to play God, the first thing to disappear will be the cell phone. It's the modern definition of rude.
Thankfully, you aren't God. God is, after all, good. What, pray tell, is "rude" about having a cell phone? It's like looking at a wreck caused by a drunk driver, and saying that cars are the problem. Rudeness is the problem. The only really rude first date I've had was a woman, who saw friends in the restaurant, and went over to "say hi" and stayed there to talk for 10 minutes. No cell phone required, in order to be rude. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:12:23 PM | | You have your definition of rude....I have mine. I wouldn't consider the "ten minute thing" that big a deal. It's not the cell phone that's rude.....it's not turning it off that is. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:18:05 PM |
You have your definition of rude....I have mine. I wouldn't consider the "ten minute thing" that big a deal. It's not the cell phone that's rude.....it's not turning it off that is.
Ok, let me get this straight. If you were on a date, and she had a cell phone, and it started to ring, and she clicked the mute button quickly, and didn't take the call, she'd be "rude", but if your date left you sitting at the table, and went off to have a 10 minute in person conversation with a friend, that would be "ok"?
Strange how differently people look at things. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:24:55 PM | I have no problems with cell phones, I have a problem with people who are rude that take needless calls which are just chit-chat. A real emergency can come up but does not happen often. The "bail out call" or "exit plan call" I have a problem with.
Those calls are almost the same as a person who agrees to a dinner date and walks out without paying their share leaving the tab to the other person. That is plain rude and so is the "bail out call" or "exot plan call" | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 9:49:55 PM | I guess it all boils down to personal preferences...I am an "unplugged" type of person. When I go to my trailer, there is no electricity and no running water so obviously there is no phones lines either ... even the cell signals do not reach there, so you are in complete peace and tranquility...while some of the other campers have solar panels and small generators and a wide assortment of batteries to power their TV's and DVD's and laptops and I-Pods and microwaves, I simply run on candle power...yeah baby! I don't even bring a radio, yet I have several I could bring....I also have a 3 way TV and all kinds of neat little gadgets that I could take with me but I prefer the freedom of having "nothing".
I love having to go and get my water myself and having to "make do" with just the gas stove and the barbeque and not being tempted to pop something in the microwave if I did have the electricity. I love that I "have" to read to pass the time and that my grand-daughter is forced to come up with something else than her electronic toys to amuse herself...she actually reads over there! So my lifestyle would seriously clash with someone who needed to be "plugged", as I love to escape and NOT have to answer to anybody....it's not that there is anything wrong with anyone who uses a cellphone...geesh...but for me, and that's just me here, it wouldn't work for obvious reasons...and even without going to the trailer, at my home here in the city, I'm still as "unplugged" as I can get away with...I don't watch any TV, I got rid of my answering machine, and I often don't answer my home phone...I check the caller ID and see if it's my mom or one of my daughters and then I decide if I wish to answer....but that's what works for me and I sure don't expect anyone else to understand or like it or make it work for them...I was just trying to offer a different perspective as to why some of us choose not to have a cell. (psssst!....I have a confession to make... I actually recieved one as a gift this year as a "hint" but I've yet to use it, although my grand-daughter has used it to call me while she was out, so yes of course they are VERY handy....I just don't want it on me....yet....haha!)
Love and peace  | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 10:04:49 PM | [quote[some of the other campers have solar panels and small generators and a wide assortment of batteries to power their TV's and DVD's and laptops and I-Pods and microwaves
Those would be a start, but what about air conditioning, and I think being out of cell service areas, would make me go crazy.  | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/21/2007 11:06:14 PM | ^^^
So you are most definitely a creature of confort melo...nothing wrong with that, that's for sure.... but just think of all the possibilities one might find when there is nothing to watch or listen to, or type on, or text on....hmm? The candles are lit and the night is young.... and you can hear the frogs and the loons in the distance....the stars are out and the moon is bright....and you and Heidi have nothing to do except stare at each other and take it all in and let nature take it's course.....hmmm??
Not bad, huh? I guarantee you wouldn't go crazy...well at least not from not having a tv or an air conditioner anyway....haha!!! 
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:25:22 AM |
The candles are lit and the night is young.... and you can hear the frogs and the loons in the distance....the stars are out and the moon is bright....and you and Heidi have nothing to do except stare at each other and take it all in and let nature take it's course.....hmmm??
Not bad, huh? I guarantee you wouldn't go crazy...well at least not from not having a tv or an air conditioner anyway....haha!!!
When we're together, we watch very little TV. That is, unless it's something really, really important, like the NFL game on Sunday. :) However, there is something to be said for air conditioning, when it's hot and humid. :)
Loons? Is that like "loonies", as in money? How did that get into the conversation? LOL | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:40:29 AM | | You may disagree with me but Yes i do carry my cell with me. I won't answer it unless i know it's my kids. They know that they are to only call me if it's an emergency. Any other call I won't answer. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/22/2007 5:51:32 AM | | I do take a phone and either turn it off or leave it on vibrate.To accept calls is rude.Although I understand the need for a "bailout plan" if a guy(or a woman!) is an idiot or serial killer,the best bailout is often just leaving.Texting or accepting calls on a date is just plain rude; the only good thing about it is the big red flag it represents.Take heed. | |
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| Cell Phones On a Date,Do You Really Need It?
Posted: 9/22/2007 6:29:00 AM |
Cells are still so new that I'm sure there haven't been too many detailed studies about this, but the information that IS out seems to refute cell use while driving is "way down the list" and (at least inferred) should not be taken more seriously
Ok, I admit upfront, that this is "off topic", so if someone wants to complain and have it deleted, that's fine. It's come up in this thread, though, so I'll comment on it once.
There have been detailed studies of distracted driving. Things that come up as more common distractions include eating in the car, talking to passengers (as in parents turning around to discipline), applying makeup, reading newspapers, etc.. Some other studies have shown a higher place on the list for cell phone use, than others, and those, when analyzed, have been revealed to have had an "agenda" going in. In that, if there is a wreck, and there is a cell phone in the car, it is listed on the report, and some have seized on that to point to cell phone usage.
In any case, as a cell phone user, who makes and takes phone calls while driving, and who has driven 50,000+ miles a year for 20 years with cell phones being part of it, it isn't the talking on the phone that's a distraction. It's looking up numbers, dialing, etc..
Technology has already begun to address this, without needing the intrusion of the "Nanny State". BMW is now including blue tooth technology in their new vehices, where the speakers on the car stereo are used, and you talk to a hidden speaker on the visor. Calls are placed by voice, from the address book, or by saying the numbers. If a number isn't known, you can dial "411" by saying it, and be automatically connected.
It won't be long before virtually all new cars will have that technology, and when "retrofits" for older vehicles will be available for an affordable price.
The reality is, they can pass all the laws they want, but people are going to use their cell phones, and only a few will get caught. It's like the 55mph speed limit. In the U.S., laws that don't have popular support, become difficult to enforce. People "vote with their actions in daily life". So "seat belt laws" and no cell phone while driving laws, are more "feel good" laws than practical solutions. "The market", as always, will provide the "real" solution, and it's already here, and soon will be common. | |
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