| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/18/2007 9:38:38 PM | Epilepsy is so common, anyone who would reject you because of it is not worth thinking about. Really, anyone can get it from head trauma or a car accident and be in a worse situation than yours, which is controlled.
Many people suffer from various types of seizures. The grandmals are the ones most people associate epilepsy with though. I suppose if someone has been exposed to only the grandmals, and knows nothing of the condition...it would be easy to dismiss anyone coming along with "Epilepsy"
I would definitely recommend not putting it in your profile. If someone has had a traumatizing event with a person with seizures they could easily dismiss you without getting to know you. On the otherhand, if they were so traumatized they probably would not want to stick around no matter how much they liked you.
Which is sad since a lot of people have Epilepsy and you would never know...and like I said, not all cases are necessarily hereditary...anyone could get it sometime in their life.
Let someone talk to you first to get to know what you are like. But like others say, if there is a high probability that you could have a seizure in front of them...they should know. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/18/2007 10:31:30 PM | I have a cousin who is epileptic, but frankly, other than not being able to drive, I don't see how it would make a difference to anyone.
Might as well stop dating someone cause they're allergic to seafood! (the episodes there are more likely to cause harm.) | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/18/2007 10:59:15 PM |
He actually enjoyed it because she would do things to intentionally initiate a seizure during thier 'private time'...fortunately she wasn't having Grand Mal's...but he got a kick out of the kink factor.
LOL!! Yes, that one disturbed me as well, but I figured if the girl was enjoying herself enough to do that, then why not? | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 12:11:43 PM | yikes, I wouldn't want anyone doing that to me. I'd be in trouble! eek.
I would say keep it to yourself like any other prescription/condition until you've reached your comfort zone with that person. Usually after at least 4-5 dates/ish or later. I really dont think they need to know until you start discussing health insurance info with them. Just think of it the same way a diabetic would. They dont need to announce it to people. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 12:18:13 PM | >>I figured if the girl was enjoying herself enough to do that, then why not?
I only know about veterinary medicine, not human medicine--but seizures aren't innocuous events. They should be controlled (ie suppressed) as early and as well as possible.
So it's disturbing that she would do it, and even more disturbing that he would like it...that's a little necrophilia-like. | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 12:45:51 PM |
LOL!! Yes, that one disturbed me as well, but I figured if the girl was enjoying herself enough to do that, then why not?
I thought seizures cause you to become unconscious? | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 12:49:43 PM | ^^It's more like altered consciousness, you don't remember what happened during the seizure, but it is different than being asleep or passed out, or knocked out.
It's uncontrolled electrical activity in the brain, not decreased activity, like unconsciousness would be.
In animals, at least, there is a phenomenon called kindling, which means that repeated seizures make future seizures more likely. It's almost as if the brain learns to seizure.
That is why I don't think anyone should intentionally try to induce a seizure in themselves. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 1:32:02 PM | no its not altered consciousness. you are unconscious but its not because something hit you. Although epileptics do need to be very careful about anything hitting their head, bumping it on anything etc.
There are two types of seizures, and one other type of involuntary movement that are what a paramedic might ask you about if you ever had to call 911 about it.
grand mal - this is where the individual would normally drop to the floor and be out for up to a minute. When someone faints, they lie still, when this is happening, they don't. If you see this, stand clear and move all stationery objects out of the way like chairs or tables.
petit mal - momentary lapses of awareness, blackouts or what I call "blink-outs". Where just for a moment you aren't aware of your surroundings but you're still there, standing, and talking after it. i.e. This can happen in class where everyone else heard something and you didnt. These are harmless, only as much as it affects the individual personally.
monoclonic jerks (sometimes called tonic clonic) - these are just momentary flinches or involuntary movements, usually of an arm or leg. Most of the time these lead to nothing, esp with those who have it under control. Staying active can keep these under control. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 1:34:44 PM | >>no its not altered consciousness.
Maybe that was a poor choice of words. I just didn't want him to think it was like being knocked out.
Do you have it?
I don't, I just studied it in veterinary school.
You can Google the kindling phenomenon if you like--it is an accepted reality in animals. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 1:43:39 PM | "grand mal - this is where the individual would normally drop to the floor and be out for up to a minute. When someone faints, they lie still, when this is happening, they don't. If you see this, stand clear and move all stationery objects out of the way like chairs or tables."
It is possible to be fully conscious and aware during these episodes. They can last for more than 5 minutes...in which case you should call 911 | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 2:11:04 PM | A seizure happens when someone goes unconscious. As for the 5 minutes thing, that is very rare. Length of time is not an indicator of whether to call 911 or not. Other factors must be judged.
Did they get hurt? are they bleeding?
Are they OK now? can they walk?
Where are they (their location)?
Some can be just a few seconds and cause injury in which case 911 is needed. Some can be significantly longer and things will be fine. The reality is there isnt anything you or 911 can do about it other than regulate it with medication. The main thing is to keep them safe when it is happening and be there for them when its over. When its over, dont make a big deal out of it, often they can return to whatever they were doing before as anyone else could. If their condition's been dormant for several months/years and you find two or more of these in the space of less than a month, call a neurologist. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 2:18:00 PM | "As for the 5 minutes thing, that is very rare"
Which is why it is recommended to call 911. Oxygen deprivation to the brain can occur during particular seizures.
Each case is different, which is why one should never assume that if you know someone with epilepsy...everyone who has epilepsy is going to have the same situation. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 2:30:37 PM | A girl having epilepsy wouldn't stop me having a relationship with her, but then compared with most men I'm perhaps better informed about the condition (I used to be a first aider for both St. John Ambulance and The British Red Cross).
If you see it from an uninitiated man's perspective though, epilepsy is a frightening thing to deal with. You don't understand what's happening, and you think you're helpless to assist the person you care about. In truth, most epileptic fits can be dealt with with a little sensitivity, looking out for the person's safety during the time they're out, and above all not overreacting. Epilepsy tends to draw a crowd, and that's the last thing the epileptic wants to see. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 2:33:44 PM | Interested by your comments Lilac - our training was to summon an ambulance if this was a 1st fit, or if the fit lasts longer than 10 minutes.
Martin. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 2:40:05 PM | I think anyone on the ground for 10 minutes affected by anything should have some kind of help, thats probably a good idea. But no one needs a stopwatch.
But please dont call them fits, they're not whimsical. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 3:27:07 PM | Sorry LilacPrincess - I didn't mean to imply that they were whimsical - "fits" is just the term they used when we were training...
As you probably know, the general rule with any person who has been unconscious at all is that they should be checked out by an A&E department. The one exception to this was people who had been unconsicous as a result of epilepsy - as you will know yourself, people tend to overreact to what, for the patient, is not really that big a deal.
We had the benefit of a talk from a lad who had epilepsy - his golden advice was just to calm things down until the patient returned to normal, and then listen to what the patient says - they often have a much better idea of things than you! | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 3:47:40 PM | Honest answer? No, it isn't an issue, and won't be for the vast majority of men....
However, it does seem to be a major issue for you. Delete it from your profile, and if you have it under control as you say, don't bring the subject up until you are comfortable with someone.
FJ | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 8:26:36 PM | hmmm... that's weird... Maybe they think its contagious and they could get it if you hug them too hard :)
You might want to add it to your profile to avoid losing time. They will not contact you. You might have less messages but better quality. And might avoid losing time with them.
That's why I put a photo on my profile now (I used not too because I was not too willing to be on the Internet). I don't get more message with it, only better quality. All the girls that don't find me cute, or that were only interested in trying to get my photo no longer write to me. And I prefer it that way. And I got used to have my face on the Internet, so I don't mind anymore.
guy_in_toronto_28 | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/19/2007 9:01:55 PM | I'd say save that information until it's relevant they know you're medical history. I don't go through my various 'battle scars' until after we been nekkid.
Then refer to it as your 'vibration' mode. | |
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| It shouldn't matter
Posted: 2/19/2007 11:44:10 PM | Maybe it makes some guys feel helpless in the face of adversity? Guys usually want to help and make everything better, to dry tears, and such. It really bothers me when I see a lady crying and will go way out of the way to help, maybe it scares them because deep down they know they can't make it better?
Personally I don't see a problem with it, I even tried to message you for friendship, but I don't live in Canada, lol, but I visit often.
Sounds like you need to find a new hunting ground, in the same way their are vast differences between what defines a true Lady from just another woman, being a guy doesn't necessarily make the individual a Gentleman. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/20/2007 1:13:09 AM | Be patient......
Going with a woman who has Epilepsy would not bother me. Just like Cancer, Heart Condition, etc... Epilepsy is a medical condition.
People are afraid of the unknown and when they are afraid people find the quickest way out of a situation. Since the easiest thing to do is just move on.. they do exactly that.
If the person just moves on without trying to learn it about the condition ... then you don't want to be with that person anyway. Because if they act like that when it comes to a medical condition.... how would they have acted when it came to very serious topics/ situations in your relationship?
Mr. I | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/20/2007 1:38:16 AM | I didn't read any other posts on this thread other than the first one, so if I drive home a cliche, don't mind me.
you don't need to date ignorant people. epilepsy has nothing to do with smarts, looks, charm or anything else that matters in a "mate".
tell people, if you like, it wouldn't make much difference, seems to be a good way to weed out the ignorant people that can't google a big word...
I might tell people I have it ;)
Cory | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/23/2007 7:32:12 AM | | Thanks everyone for your posts. You have given me a lot to think about. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/23/2007 7:33:44 AM | Epilepsy isnt a big deal. The guy is just too immature and probably knows nothing about it.
I know its hard but dont take it as a reflection upon you. Go find a new guy that is worth your time, and be glad you found out sooner rather than later and saved yourself some time.
=) | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/23/2007 7:57:39 AM | MeGirlUBoy,
I wouldn't put it in your profile. I would though mention it in email exchanges and before your first date. If it happens on your date (and stress can trigger it for some) and you didn't tell him beforehand, it WILL freak him out. Now if telling him before the date makes him run, count yourself lucky as he would have later. You just saved yourself time and emotional investment. | |
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