argfin
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 51 | |
| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/23/2007 11:32:13 AM | It wouldn't bother me, but then I have some first aid training so I know roughly what to expect... I think it just worries people. It's mostly ignorance and fear.
Most people don't realize it's not a major thing these days. I guess absence seizures would be fine for most, but I think the full epileptic fit is scary if you don't know what to do.
Might be best to say it on your profile, that way anyone that contacts you should be OK with it... | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/23/2007 12:16:32 PM | In terms of whether or not to mention it on your profile, it is of course completely up to you. I could understand your wanting to do this now, and "get it out of the way", and I can also understand that you might want to wait a while until you know a suitor a little better before revealing this...
Go with whatever feels right.
Martin. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/23/2007 8:03:51 PM | | Hi there. I also have had epilipsy and do get muscle spasams if i dont get rest. Look if a guy does that its because of the lack of knowledge they have about it and if he doesnt want to be involved the better. I would go out with someone that does care and makes sure just in case of an emergency i am with a person i can trust. You will find guys out there that are good decent guys. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/23/2007 9:48:57 PM | JMO......
I think you need to be upfront before you go out with someone.My sister has epilepsy from having brain surgerys and radiation.Been about a year now.I still totaly freak when she has one.They are horrible to watch someone go through.But for someone that would have no idea and have it happen.
My first reaction was to stick my fingers in her mouth to stop her from bitting her toungue.Thank god I didnt,might have a few less fingers.
Epilepsy is not something to me that should deter someone from dating you,but my sister has that idea,and has basicly shut herself off from the world.
Im glad you havent,and im hoping she realizes shes still has worth and a life left to enjoy. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/23/2007 11:20:27 PM | It would not deter me, either. But if you are worried about it throw it in the profile near the end explaining it is under control, and if you have the smaller seizures say that. I did that with my hearing though in reality no one ever figures out I am even partially deaf and had six ear operations because visually I am so sharp. I am aware of things approaching my position long before the people with five fully functional senses are. It happened so young for me I have easily adapted around it all and unless there are noisy situations where I repeat What three times no one ever even SUSPECTS I am partially deaf. I mean literally no one has ever figured it out unless I tell them first. Sometimes I sense people are getting close, like they know something is off but can't put their finger on it so I tell them rather than have them think something else. I put it in my profile because if some one is that shallow to not like me because of some previous medical crap I do not want to know that type. Conversely, I have found others with medical problems are often the most empathetic and certainly the more worthwhile types to know.
Sure it is the epilepsy and not something else? It is easy to generally just get discouraged and blame it on the first thing but finding a good match is not an easy thing to do no matter who you are.
I've only had one epileptic try to date me and I had no interest because she had a low self esteem. When I first met her she had all these bruises just around her face and tried to tell me they were from a seizure, but they were just around the face, and she was living with someone else. In my mind it added up to a bf that beat her and she moved out/away. Plus I sensed the low self esteem issue. She used to come out and talk to me when I mowed the lawn and planted/watered flowers and such. Finally oneday I buzzed her apt number, just hoping for more of the pleasant talk we have had several times before. She appeared in a white night shirt and drew her left hand slowly down upon her slender body, looked me straight in the eyes, hand going inside the white cotton panties and proceeded to masturbate. Now mind you we are outside in the doorway of a majorly busy street in broad daylight in the middle of a summer afternoon. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/24/2007 3:28:13 AM | Meh, i've dated a female with Epilepsy and to be honest. I never had a problem with it whatsoever. The only fear i did have was the fact that if she was to have a "fit" and i froze up and didn't help, it would be my fault if she was injured. But i was trained how to keep a person safe when they have a fit which probably just added more pressure to "if i froze up".
If they stop contacting you just because of that, they're not worth your time or energy so just try to get on with life. your a gorgeous woman so i imagine that it wont be too hard for you to find a man soon after :P | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/27/2007 5:32:59 PM | | I had epilepsy hit me when I was 22 yrs. old, petit mal siezures. It's something to have it hit you, I lost friends that could'nt hack being near me . I was sick of it and donated myself to be a "lab rat" at a good hospital. I had a brain operation in 1998 when I was 31 and have been siezure free since and am glad of it. As for telling people about still being on meds or having epilepsy, I left it go a few times until maybe the third date and then was dumped right away. When I asked why she dumped me she said you are on meds for epilepsy and I don't want it. I tried explaining it was'nt contageous but what a joke. Other times I would ask the first date if they would date someone with a disability or was on meds for one they had and almost all of them said no, they could'nt . I asked what they thought of me and each reply was almost the same, nice, make them laugh,work hard,smart, good common sense, but when I told them I took meds yet even though I had the op I would get dumped. For now, I think I will keep quiet about what I had wrong with me even though noone on this planet is 100% normal. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 2/27/2007 9:45:01 PM | | I'm sorry you've had a hard time finding somebody who can deal with the fact that you have Epilepsy. I suppose allot of people don't understand it and it scares them. Don't worry, you'll find the right one, in the end it's their loss not yours. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 3/2/2007 8:57:39 AM | There's nothing wrong with having epilepsy- keep that in mind. I understand the serious caution about letting someone know because most aren't even sure what it is or how to handle it- some even downgrade you for having it. I have epilepsy and I even had surgery twice for it. About seven months ago I started dating a guy and one evening he was running his hands through my hair and realized that gosh- some hair was pretty short (I had my second surgery last year and it was in an area that was easy to hide- just part my hair the same place every day). I didn't plan on letting him know but that was sort of the "ice breaker", so I told him and he handled it fine. Seven months down the road and I'm still with the same guy. He doesn't treat me like I'm "special"- besides I wouldn't let him... I wouldn't worry about letting a guy know- besides it sounds like you've been seizure-free for a while, so I wouldn't even let that bother myself any longer. When it becomes a bit more serious that's when perhaps you should let someone know that "when you were younger you had epilepsy. Most people actually grow out of it and you haven't had it for a while. This is just incase something ever happens."
Don't let it run your life though, I certainly don't | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 5/25/2008 12:25:09 AM | If people are going to be scared, then maybe it's good that they left, for you deserve someone better. But trust me... I can relate to it as I have epilepsy too and most women expect a guy to drive them around. Last girlfriend I had got set up with someone better by her parents, then invited me to the wedding. Felt like she was trying to show me what kind of a guy I'm not.
Sometimes the phrase "It takes one to know one" really applies, for I know that if you and I were living in the same area, and around the same age, I'd have not problem hanging out with you.
I'm much the same towards people in wheelchairs, by actually talking to them, compared to the public telling everyone to get out of the way, as there's a wheelchair coming. They don't even see the person just trying to feel accepted. Just like you and me, trying to feel like we belong somewhere, yet people back away, just in case. If you're lucky, there's someone in your area reading this who can relate. Hopefully mine too. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 5/25/2008 12:48:45 AM | Some people are not very familiar with epilepsy and might be very unsure of what to do if you had a seizure. I once witnessed a seizure and felt so embarrassed afterwards because I was so ignorant on what I was to do to help them.
OP, what should someone do if you have a seizure? Is it different for everyone?
I am just curious and maybe it's not as worrisome as I thought. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 5/25/2008 3:28:59 AM | Its a personal call on putting it on your profile or not. up side of it being on there is it will weed out and eliminate the men that are going to turn and run when you tell them. Down side is your going to see alot fewer responses to your ad. Frankly I look at it like this and treat my own health issues like this, they don't define who I am as a person or greatly impact my life. If you have your issues under control then its not exactly somebody you have barely meets bussness to know such intimate details. It may not be the Epilepsy thats the issue for some, more that your comfort level with it. Stop and think you've dealt with this for a long time, here your asking a total stranger to proses and deal with it in a few minuets. Its hardly fair on them, or you to be told and expected to reveal everything up front.
Keith | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 5/25/2008 2:06:35 PM | Its not on mine but it is one of the very first things I bring up....see:) You should have seen that one guys face when I said I dont feel right and have to sit down
Either ride the rollar coaster with me or dont enter the park! | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 5/25/2008 2:35:51 PM | | I've been reading about epileptic seizures and apparently it's best to not try and handle them, but instead make sure there are no objects around that can injure them during the seizure. I saw a boy have a seizure and didn't know what to do, and his father seemed to be waiting it out and keeping us away. It confused me back then because I had no idea. | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 5/30/2008 3:05:11 AM | | Going with a woman who has Epilepsy would actually make my day, as I have it too, and have a longing desire to spend time with someone who knows what it feels like. Not just a bunch of people who can only guess what you must be going through, but honestly have no idea on what to do, other than hope you get better. I would long for a woman who could treat me as an equal, rather than expecting a guy to have a nice car to take her out in (I'm not allowed to drive). | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 5/30/2008 7:27:57 AM | ^^^^I suggest you change your email restrictions so you can get emails from the other wierdos like you on POF. Some girls might be offended if you are their friend at one website and not the other!! So what if I smoke and live in the USA and pee my pants | |
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| Epilepsy and Dating
Posted: 5/30/2008 8:25:48 AM | lol. Do you two know each other from another website? It's a small world.  | |
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