| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/19/2007 3:57:07 PM | Two text messages AND one phone call in 2 days time?
OP: Can you say "needy"? I am sure he got that impression.
The whole thrill of the chase is for that man to find you,
not for you to persue him. I don't care how much they say dating has changed
I still see that the man likes the thrill of the "hunt".
IF you did not push him away in the meeting, then you most likely did in the follow up..oops. Future footnote: female flirts, man persues. IF there is a mutual interest shared in meeting. (Eye contact, touching, request for that second date, etc.)
I have male friends that said when a guy is interested
he WILL call within 48 hours of that last contact.
EVEN If his house were on fire, he would make sure to call then.
(Unless of course his phone burnt up , then he would get to a pay phone
or borrow a neighbor's phone and make the call.)
Think of meeting someone new as a chess game, he asked you out and then
you accepted. Then it is his turn to make the next move. At least initially. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/19/2007 4:04:51 PM | | Ahhh the dating scene.....been there, done that, still doing it! The nicest part is meeting new people. The not so nice part are people like him who just disappear. It does happen unfortunately. I always believed an email is better than nothing, just to say they had a nice time, but no thanks. However, men don't like the confrontation they may get from a woman when they say..."it was fun, but no thanks." They are afraid of hurting your feelings, or the fact you may go balistic on them. So rather than take that chance, they take the easier way out and say "I'll call you..." Anyway I agree with daisygirl, just keep on looking...he will be there, usually when you least expect it! Actually read the book "He's Just Not That Into You". I did, there is some great advice in there from a guys perspective. Best of luck, and let HIM CALL YOU after a first date. He will......if he's interested enough. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/19/2007 8:49:47 PM |
If we just went out on Saturday and you're already texting me twice and calling me once, without a chance to respond, I'd think you were a little psycho...
But WHY would you think she is psycho?????? Maybe she just liked you and had a good time and wants to see you again. If you had a good time together, what is the problem with calling you? This whole thng about rules and having to wait a certain time is so stupid. Considering no one really knows what the rules are anyhow, how the hell can anyone get into the game, let alone play it????So women are supposed to wait for a call, but if it doesnlt come after a week then it's not coming? Or is it a day? And what is She calls HIM Is two days too early? What about a week if she has not heard anything? Unnecessarily complicated.
I am not a needy person by any means, but if we go out and I really liked you, I fail to see how calling you or telling you that makes me needy. I think it makes me honest, and you should be flattered. Do men not WANT women to want to be with them???? | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 5:06:46 AM | I'm very old fashioned that way as I wait for them to call and if they don't I move on.
Maybe I have missed out on a couple with them thinking I don't like them but I just can't do it.
But, certainly if I tested someone twice and called once with no response I would certainly let that one go.
Many more fish in the sea. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 5:08:33 AM | | Myself, if I were to call him, it would be once. I'm not chasing any man not now not ever! After the first initial phone call, if I haven't heard in a few days.....bubye! Next! And of course that's just me. No man is worth waisting your time over. There is way too many out there. Find the next fishie. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 6:01:50 AM | In all of my dating experiences (and they have been very few), they have always called immediately afterward...like the next day; that or they messaged me online if that is how I connected with them and no, I did not have sex with them. I don't mix sex up with dating that quickly.
Sadly, it is I who has lacked interest on most counts. They just weren't a "fit". Mind you, I will still msg them to say hello and such and to thank them for the night out or what have you but I'll usually tell them if I felt it wasn't a good match.
For myself, I can tell if a man is into me by the way he looks at me and treats me that very first night. It's like a curiosity and they ask all the right questions and genuinely want to know more. they can't do enough for you if they really like you. They'll also be sure and set something up with you right away for fear they'll lose a chance at you.
If a man isn't emotionally attentive during that first date, well...he's not getting a second one. I don't play these aloof games and I don't believe in the whole "call on this day and not that day" routine. It's utter bullsh*t. I think if everyone got clear and stopped with these invisible rules written on the walls, they'd have a lot less heartache.
Some have screwed up because they thought if they acted aloof with me, that it would somehow make me feel compelled to want them. LOL! Man, did that backfire on them. Nope, don't work. Be real or be gone. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 6:32:28 AM | Do men not WANT women to want to be with them????
Actually, yes, men who don't want to be with you DON'T generally want to hear that you want to be with them. Number one, it puts them on the spot and makes them feel bad or guilty. Number two , they just wish you'd go away because they feel disappointed that you weren't "the one" and they don't know how to say "I'm just not that into you."
Anyways, why would you pursue a man who isn't really into you? Having a good time on a date is nice but I mean I can have a good time on a date with anyone. I'm a fun person. He may have been a fun person. But that doesn't also mean a connection has been established. Look for that connection. Without it, it's just another date. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 9:34:42 AM | | thanks lyrical someone else who doesn't see the point in playing hard to get. i read ur post with a smile on my face.i am no pyscho just this is my first experience of dating in 8 years so guess ill learn the ropes as i go, hopefully have some fun and yes I bet there will be plenty of knock backs along the way but i'm preparing myself and learning-I will not call or text -i mean i dont want a restraining order do i??? thanks for being honest and not being abusive | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:13:46 PM | well if the guy doesnt send me txt right after the date or doesnt call me next day to say how beautiful i am :) i usually forget about him ...2/3 days rule thing is not for me :) | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:30:27 PM | | Move on Girl, No man is worth waiting on! I use to be the one to sit around and wait, but it finally dawned on me that hey why am I doing this! If I talk or meet someone I always send an email later or the next day letting them know what I thought whether it was a negative or a positive. Honesty sometimes can be brutal for some people, but in the long run it sure cuts down on unwanted email, calls, or text message! Good luck in your search! | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:31:40 PM | Well it looks like you are a gorgeous girl so chances are he thought he was going to get to have sex on the first night (not that that matters) but if you didn't give it up then maybe he thinks your more of a challenge and he wants something easy or you weren't a challenge enough only you know that, but move on if he was really interested he would have called you that night when he got home. you are to pretty to worrie about that lame brain, move on I have a lot of rich male friends I can hook you up with!! | |
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daisie
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Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 37 | |
| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:38:18 PM | When I'm interested in a guy .....or after we had a date and I did enjoy it and want to do it agian....I CONTACT HIM!!!! I don't sit around playing some weirdo game. And i don't listen to stupid "rules" like wait 3 days or eat a watermelon and turn around 3 times and and touch your toes before you call him. Whatever. stupid!!! If I like him I call him!!!
I'm BIG girl, if he's not interested in me, it won't kill me. So what??? Some people in this world ADORE ME!!! SOme people can't stand me and a lot of people are in the middle somewhere. I can't please them all. I'm jsut meeeeeeeeeeee. I only want to be with peopl who like the REAL me. So if he doesn't like me and it's obvious then GOOD!!!
Along with this comes the understanding that I won't stalk him.....I'll contact him a few times. If he doesn't repsond then I would give it up and forget him. But.....if we only had 1-2 dates then he really does NOT OWE me much. What that means is that IFFFFF he was to contact me weeks or months later (and if I did like him) then I would be happy and very open to another date. I would not be insulted by the lack of contact.
Contacting him 3 times in 2 days is extreme. I might contact him 3 times in 2 weeks.....or jsut 2 times in 10 days or so. I wouldn't be jumping on him like White on Rice...poor guy. that would freak me out!! | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:40:45 PM | He's not interested.
I guess I am old fashioned, but I would never ever call him first... :/
I think it may have something to do with how I was raised...
Maybe your eagerness scared him off...but if he doesn't call the next day or day after, it's a wash babe. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 1:10:45 PM | First off let me say I'm not defending his actions (or lack of).However
I met a very nice Lady here and we starting dating and things have
gotten very good, another Lady wrote me and I replied that I was
sorry but I had found someone. She then wrote me back admonishing
me for replying, She said I should have just ignored her e-mail.
Lady's, Do you think we're half wits when each one of you send
different signals and expect different responces. We are Damned
if we do and Damned if we don't. Lets all write an internet etiquette book.
Good Luck, You'll find the one It just wasn't him. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 2:49:26 PM | | All single women should read "He's just not that into you" by Greg Berendt. We waste a lot of time and energy on thinking men will call us when they never will and we missed (or refused to see) the sign. Very illuminating read. It's not gospel but a pretty good guidebook as to how men's minds work. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 4:01:59 PM | WOMEN DO IT TOO!!!
The girl told me she wanted to go out again soon. Didn't answer my text message. Too bad, I thought she was a smart catch....I likely scared her off,,,,,, | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 7:42:32 PM | | I would have to agree with post 2. When men are interested, they call right away regardless of what is going on in their day. I would not pursue things, I would allow him to call you. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 7:42:50 PM | | I would have to agree with post 2. When men are interested, they call right away regardless of what is going on in their day. I would not pursue things, I would allow him to call you. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 8:16:24 PM | Shoot I was dating someone regularly and it was GREAT. We went to dinner, hockey games, all very upbeat, we talked a lot, were romantic, etc. I mean he'd put his arm around me at the games, hold the door open, we had very nice long dinners, went and listen to jazz, golfed, met for coffee, I cooked for him, this was very nice and comfortable. Then he tells me that it wasn't working for him, and I never had a clue. I was there, how did I miss the signs?
He obviously has no communications skills and gets an A in acting. | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/20/2007 8:29:43 PM | I did wait then I called then I called again and then I said o well his lost. Head up shoulder strait and proudly go and find a nicer guy.....I know there are a lot jerks here but we will not take those neither loose our proudness.
Sibylle (Strandet in Alabama) | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/21/2007 12:07:38 AM | Shemail06 :- I know where your comeing from on that. not nice is it. They must get a kick out of doing it. Im sure its an illness they have.
what makes me laugh is that i did get a text from mine, saying can we still be friends, because i dont want to hurt you 'im not that kinda guy'. hahaha thats so funny, (when he couldnt be botherd to text me anyother times) how could he have the nerve to say that, when the damage had already been done. blokes like him dont deserve anyone nice. infact that dont deserve any happiness and i hope one day what they have done to us it be done to them. done and then they can see what pain they have coursed.  | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/21/2007 12:41:01 AM | Likely not interested. You've made it clear that you are and he has not reciprocated.
When someone is interested, you are the highlight of their 'busy' day and they are going to call you back.
Sum it up as a good night out and your answer on this one is no answer.
One other thing... about your lucky comment. Why arent you thinking he would have been the lucky one?
Dont wait around for that call or waste your time over thinking one date. Get out there and have fun! | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/21/2007 1:00:14 AM | | hey,your a pretty woman,if him,most of the time,men keep looking and pass by a really good woman.hang in there,theres some one out there,who only wonts you | |
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| How long before you know hes not interested
Posted: 2/21/2007 1:04:21 AM | | hey,your a pretty woman,if him,most of the time,men keep looking and pass by a really good woman.hang in there,theres some one out there,who only wonts you | |
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