| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/23/2007 9:12:44 PM |
Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Message:
Ok you will probably lol at me but here goes nothing. Light a fire turn on a good movie like Sleepless in Seattle and and just dream of it being me. Hoping that one day there will be that SPECIAL MAGIC once again. If not for the dreams not sure if life would be an adventure.
This is the sweetest thing I think I have ever read in the forums. When you meet your gal, she's going to be extremely lucky. | |
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srshd
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Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 52 | |
| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/23/2007 9:13:02 PM | | i m over 50 and recently single. May seem strange to some, but I go to the grocery store and just say HI to every one I see in the store. Works for me. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/24/2007 7:27:16 PM | | I agree with Sassy Scott. Why would you be so sarcastic? Not everyone has the ability to communicate easily. If you weren't going to be helpful you should not have even responded. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/25/2007 3:43:52 AM | | I'm in a similiar situaton which is why I've gravitated towards online dating. While it does offer me the opportunity to meet 'some' in the area, I usually have to drive a little further than just my town. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/25/2007 5:13:25 AM | Good morning Dana,
I, too, was the "stranger in a strange land" when I moved to PA without family or friends. Although I am not afraid to go alone into a coffee shop, bar or live music venue (got used to that with lots of business travel), I found that I met the most people doing volunteer work. I select causes I care deeply about or things I enjoy.
I haven't met the love of my life doing that, or even my best friend, but it does give me a way of meeting people while doing something personally rewarding! | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/25/2007 5:22:47 AM | I've got it. Since even chimps can communicate with gestures or sounds, "whoops" we might try it as well. I think it's called talking. You open your mouth and utter a few words. It's a matter of signaling those around you that you would like to communicate.
Give it a try. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/25/2007 9:16:47 AM | | I'll usually go to the gym and get my work out in. Often I'll see a friend there and we'll chat a bit. So that's my option when I need human contact immediately! But other wise I've found it best to meet people by participating in activities and classes that I have an interest in. I live in a large metro area so there are plenty of choices. People are very guarded, it seems to take multiple contacts to break the reserve we all carry around here. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/25/2007 10:57:35 AM | | I agree that sharing a project which does some good is a bonding experience. Also, there is more contact than just a half hour conversation or a brief dinner and thus there is a chance that something more than the superficial will be exchanged. Most of the singles activities I have seen just throw people together, but a real connection is unlikely in a brief period of time. It also seems worthwhile to get over yourself for a while. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/25/2007 5:44:43 PM | | My mistake honeysugarlips. I was talking about the comment by napjoe and forgot to include his name. I am new to this. My comment wasn't negative............his was. I just thought it was mean the way he answered. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/25/2007 6:13:39 PM | Where do I go when I feel lonely? Over to my dog! She's great company.
Where do I go to meet people my age? I watch the small town paper for events going on and if I don't have to contend with trying to wheel over gravel (lol) then I head on out to enjoy the event. But, it needn't involve just people my age. ♥Robin | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/26/2007 12:08:50 PM | | I think it is important to stay busy then you won't get lonely or maybe you will get lonely but at least you be doing something but then again were always doing something. By the way I go online to meet people my own age it's a great resource for people. Thanks plenty of fish | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/27/2007 3:13:40 PM | Hey Dana,
I just got back from spending a few days with some of my girlfriends at the coast. I wrote something once already but I found what Raredawn said touched me. Someone else also alluded to this...
Loneliness and being alone are two different things. I found in my lifes adventures that you must cultivate a relationship with yourself long before you can with others. I guess with all this great advice (ignore the not so good advice or wisenhimer comments) you really need to focus on liking being alone. The lonliness WILL fade away.
So, let me change my earlier comments to this: When I feel lonely...I take fix me a cup of hot cocoa (in the winter) and rent a movie and hug a big ol blanket around me and treat me! Sometimes its something else...but mainly...I just treat me to me.
We didn't walk on the beach...it was stormin big time! We watched from the jacuzzi | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/27/2007 3:19:21 PM | I head down to my local Kaiser medical center and wait in the pharmacy line.....lmao..... .......Oh wait....I started that at 45 and am still there.....lol.....
OT......when lonely.....we all should go where there is activity, action, and others that are looking for the same thing we are.....and it does not matter what you age is.......just your condition.
Just my opinion......   | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/28/2007 1:04:43 AM | Over 50 and Lonely...
One thing I know from getting out and about now. Age is considered as only being a number by younger women. Today's woman is more interested in how you look and take care of yourself - e.g.smelling nice EVERY time you go out helps spread the word that you are out and about and as you go - so grows your reputation.
Then, a good conversation with a man who ls also able to listen, without interrupting. pays off. Anytime You put the woman or women - first - before yourself - also builds a reputation.
You have become the guy who looks after his outward appearance - his outer beauty - so that He can put forth his inner beauty and make contact so you are able to communicate thoughtfully and with sensitivity.
I'm NOT LONELY anymore. My closest intimate female friend is 25 years old. We both love each other dearly.
I would defend her and any woman or women in my presence, as a Knight in Shining Armour.
I am my GirlFriend"s Guardian Angel. She knows I'm there for her at all times, that she can do as the song says - Lean On Me...I can also cheer her up...We laugh all the time. We were once together about 11 hours straight and we made each other laugh all the time. It passed like it was 5 minutes. Out of Room...Bye Now...You All Come Back Now, Ya Hear... | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/2/2007 11:59:28 AM | | take up kayaking.. ya dont have to go on the level 4 or 5's .. just go to your local lake and paddle away.. bring a little lunch, ,maybe a beer or two, and a headset radio.. the solice of the lake.... the beauty of the trees.... and the smell of the air will lift your spirits.. most of all you can do it alone!!!! =) | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/2/2007 9:15:49 PM | | I am having the same trouble here in Canada. Have you found any solutions since posting this blog? Do tell what you have come up with....please share. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/4/2007 11:13:51 AM | | When I get bored or lonely, I usually put on my workout clothes and either hit the gym or walking trails. I prefer walking outside when weather permits as invariably other walkers will either smile, say "hello", or on a very good day -- start a conversation. I've been going to my gym for over 5 years now and have only met 3 people : ( Other gyms may be more social, but mine is definitely not. It does make me feel connected to be around other people, though, no matter where I'm working out at. And I usually come back feeling better because the "good mood endorphins" kick in! It's good for my body and good for my soul -- a win/win situation! | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/4/2007 3:21:21 PM | Have you thought of teaching classes on your art? Or attending an art class? Is there an community college in your area? You will meet people with interest that match yours. I have moved around a lot and found all you have to do is to meet one woman that you can hang out with. She will introduce you to others.
Jo | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/4/2007 4:07:12 PM | I go to myself. I learn to enjoy and appreciate who I am. I develop myself. I find things to do that occupy me with my growth. Ultimately others will be around if I make myself better - if not I will be content.
I live in a huge city. People have no problem becoming lonely in it. Don't worry about the locale. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/4/2007 6:26:48 PM | Posted By: suzieexcuseme on 3/3/2007 1 49 AM
Message: I am having the same trouble here in Canada. Have you found any solutions since posting this blog? Do tell what you have come up with....please share.
As an easten canuck also over 50 ,I find my time well spent if I am feeling useful. Find a clinic or a community based hospital and volunteer your time. With health care budgets cut to the bone every smiling face or willing pair of hands is a bonus. No matter where in this wide open country you find yourself living, there is no need to be lonely.. be proactive and productive. Friends will appear from the woodwork because you will quickly see that you are not the only one . If a hospital isnt your venue... try the public schools or public libraries in your area....their budgets for support staff and extra -curricular activities have been slaughtered as well. Whatever it is that you enjoy...find a way to enjoy it with company, its better than sitting home watching the soaps and feeling pathetic. If nothing else ..and it isnt violating a public ordinance...go feed the ducks...surely somebody else will be there too. | |
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| Who's lonely?
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:48:01 AM | Haven't been there for so many years I kind of forget.
Seems as I get older, I appreciate and enjoy my own company, more than anyone else's. Course my kids are great, and fun, and my ex's bad humour and disparaging attitude are an endless supply of amusement, but gee when push comes to shove.....I like ME! | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 3/5/2007 9:48:45 AM | This fear of going alone thing...is a real paradox. (maybe a catch 22)
[I can't go out alone....but I will never meet anyone until I go out alone]??
this is something we just have to get over! Pure and simple. Get over it. Get outside your safe little 'lonely' box. Stop in at the local pub. Go to that coffee house. Attend that little concert. Go to a movie. Get out to See and Be Seen. I mean, don't put yourself at uneccessary danger, of course... but don't be afraid to get out alone. And when you are out...don't be afraid to send out some 'signals' that you are available. One of the strange and counterproductive behaviors of us humans is to have strong feelings of need while projecting an image and aura of "stay away from me!". Nuts, isn't it?? (I do it too!!!) and I hate it!
And... we shouldn't "expect" everyone else to do all the work. thats another counterproductive behavior we can slip into all to easily. Practive a little boldness yourself. Take that little risk. Introduce yourself. Start the conversation. Send that inviting glance. Let your little look linger longer than .07 seconds!! ha ha!
Where ever we go. We need to remember to...'take ourselves along'...and leave the suits of armor at home. ha. | |
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