| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 8/27/2007 8:45:30 PM | Dana
here is a thought Im just going to toss at you
Meet your neighbours,take time to feel comfy in that
Meet n greet and find someone ON Your own terms
New maybe is Not Lobnely Yet! Never rush! | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:18:15 PM | Hi Anna, Yes I used to feel uncomfortable about going anywhere alone. Then one day I decided, what's the worst that could happen? If I wasn't enjoying it, wasn't feeling comfortable, I could always go home.
My first solo outing was to a live performance of the Lion King. Well I had a great time! During intermission, I saw that there were a lot of other folks there by themselves. It made me realize I wasn't the only single person stepping out for an evening of some fantastic entertainment, alone. Well that was the beginning of many solo trips/outings, since.
I overcame my fear of 'sticking out like a sore thumb' by being seen alone. That infact, there are thousands of single people going out and doing things by themselves everyday.
Now, if there is something I want to do or somewhere I want to go and can't find anyone else who's interested, I go it alone and I always have a great time.
Just a few weeks back I went to my first POF gathering alone. I had a blast and met some terrific people.
You can do it girl friend! Just take that first step and I guarantee there will be no looking back! | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 8/29/2007 8:38:21 AM | I've never been lonely so I'm not sure if this addresses the problem.
If you need to be around people, go among them. I am in a rural community and people are very approachable and there is always something to do. I find myself, I'm not certain how, helping as a volunteer distributing "Good Food Boxes" and helping at the library. As my stamina builds there will likely be more.
As other alternatives, there are books, crafts and possibly courses you could take as well as volunteering which has already been mentioned.
How can you possibly be lonely? I know I don't know your specific circumstances and I am not trying to make light of them, but if I and others can fight back, so can you.
Good luck and be well. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/1/2009 9:35:11 AM | I will go out anywhere there are people....the mall, library....and the line dance hall. There is a singles club that hosts singles dances on Fri nite.....what interests you, Anna?
Do those things and perhaps you will make new friends. Like Cat said, volunteer...good luck! | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/1/2009 7:58:34 PM | | If you have dogs, go to a dog park-they are WONDERFUL places to meet and greet. Personally, I feel that dog people have some of the warmest hearts. I have NEVER gone to a dog park and NOT bonded with folks-whether they be single or married or young or old. Just a great place to enjoy the outdoors with our furry friends. Sure, dog parks are more of a city thing, so unfortunately I have to travel a bit to get to my nearest one. But the one near me hosts social events, get-togethers. So it makes it worth the drive! Oh, and if you don't have a dog, and like dogs, adopt a dog!! God bless. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/2/2009 10:45:25 AM | I don't know what your interests are, but a few things I did to meet new people was to find out what my city offered. From there, I joined a book club, took up a new hobby - pottery and attended openings of galleries, and other similar events.
My guess is you just need to put yourself out there. In time you will meet people. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/3/2009 10:11:06 PM | Hi Dana,
Wish you lived down here in bubba-ville. I think it is going to take a "group" effort to find any where to go, in a nowhere-to-go town! There is lots to do in Dallas/Ft. Worth, but why would I go by myself? So, when you find out something (cause I don't think we can depend on me...been trying, divorced for 20+ years) ...please, please, please let me know???? LOL
Luck and Light,
Cindy | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/4/2009 5:02:44 AM | hey dana, i'm in the same situation more or less. moved from DC to the cornfields of indiana about 2 years ago. everything has its plusses and minuses.... DC is great if you are single and looking for a date or something to do.... rural indiana, not so much!
so i do like the amish and learn how to make my own fun. i putz around the farm... there is always a project (usually several) to do around here. i take day trips on the weekends to different towns. i hike the trails with the dogs. i attend the local animal market and come home with strange creatures to talk to while i'm shoveling their poo out of the barn. i go hang out at a couple of the really good used book shops in town... stuff like that. this spring, i'm getting an awesome 30-pound kayak with room for a pack and a puppy or two, and hitting every river i can find. am i getting any dates out of this, you ask? hell no!
so gird your loins for a long wait, dana. there is much fun to be had in a small town life, but dating is not one of them. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/4/2009 11:19:04 AM | I have to agree !! Pretending you like something just to meet men gets you off to a bad start right away as you are not being yourself !!
I have tried meeting people many of the ways mentioned here and have done but none have become true friends . Everyone seems to have plenty friends and are not really interested in being more than an aquaintence !! Every year I have tried something else but no luck so far but I will keep trying !!
This is the first time on here so hopefully I will learn something ! | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/4/2009 11:53:34 AM |
I have tried meeting people many of the ways mentioned here and have done but none have become true friends . Everyone seems to have plenty friends and are not really interested in being more than an aquaintence !! Every year I have tried something else but no luck so far but I will keep trying !!
This is the first time on here so hopefully I will learn something !
It's down at the end of Lonely Street, at Heartbreak Hotel.... | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/4/2009 3:58:36 PM | | Our local newspaper and the independant paper list lots of goings-on. Usually something to peak the interest. You might find something. Google your area and see what comes up. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/4/2009 4:04:06 PM | I never get lonely as I enjoy my own company and strive for a healthy balance of alone time and getting out. Whoops, never mind, I'm not yet 50, but soon.  | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/4/2009 4:07:57 PM | To the AARP web site????.............................. 
OT.......Being lonely is not specific to an age, and no matter that age, there should be some self examination if you are to lonely, to often.....
I am a firm believer that even though I am "alone", that I control, or not, if I am to be "lonely".......
Just my opinion.......   | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/4/2009 4:13:45 PM | There is a site that may interest you. It is called meetup.com., there are chapters and groups in most cities. Just do a google search for meetup.com and then check out the groups in your area. It is where to meet like minded individuals.
Peace and Light,LS | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/4/2009 6:30:50 PM | | I don't know how old you are, but you look like you are in your middle to early 40s. I am quite a bit older, and maybe bolder, but I am comfortable with myself to go just about anywhere except maybe a strip club. I am going for me, not to worry about the person next to me. I usually meet new people and hopefully take it from there. I have no desire at this point and time in my life to worry about what others think, oh do I care if I hear wisphers of oh she is alone or she didn't have a date. I don't go to places that "require" a date. Get in touch with a high school and "mentor" a high school kid. Not only will you be doing a service, you might have fun, and teach a young person a little culture by taking them to a play, concert, or even bowling. You should be proud of who you are and carefree that you are single and have CHOICES, that is part of the reason you are on POF, to have choices and not be stuck in a rut of same old faces, and things to do. Enjoy life is way to short. Cat | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/4/2009 7:04:18 PM | OP, there is another thread on the Oregon forum about women going places alone.
I will recap a few suggestions:
1. Don't pass up opportunities to go somewhere just because you have no one to accompany you, however don't be dumb! Plan ahead and research safe parking and/or transportation.
2. Make sure that you have sufficient cash on your person to cover emergencies so that you are not in a position to rely on the kindness of strangers.
3. If you go to a local bar or club, you are better off sitting at the bar, rather than in the crowd. Make friends with the bartender and rely on them to be your "safe harbor" if someone won't take no for an answer.
4. Don't be afraid to invite other singles to join you - but be careful when doing so! (I will offer or ask another woman to share my table, but am cautious about making the same offer to a man - only because I don't want to send the wrong signal to a man.)
5. Finally, learn to trust your instincts! If you feel uncomfortable about someone, trust that instinct! You are likely picking up something subtle that you can't put your finger on! Trust that!
But - MOST IMPORTANTLY - you will not make new friends in your new community by staying at home and hoping that someone will knock on your front door!
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/4/2009 10:20:06 PM | ^ "I go to sleep"
That was my first thought answer.
And indeed, it is what I do.. curl up comfy for a good sleep and wake again to begin again.
I guess that's because feelings of "lonely" tend to come in the night, if/when they do come. | |
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| Over 50-Where do you go when you are lonely?
Posted: 2/4/2009 10:55:53 PM | When I need to talk to someone I head for the shooting range. There are plenty of fellow bitter clingers out there with a bible in one hand a six shooter in the other. After busting a bunch of caps and filling the bulls eyes with holes I feel better.  | |
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