|
|
|
|
|
| |
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/17/2008 8:34:55 PM | | Was in a relationship with one.Never knew what his problem was.Gave up family,friends and pride.After a few years,after the belittling remarks, after he felt he wasn't worshiped enough I finally moved out.Allways stuck on himself,the mirror his best friend.All about himself.I will never be treated like that again.TOO much misery. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:58:58 PM | I've dated quite a few narcissistic types but had never met a real one until I met a former friend of mine. Everything was about her, she could not understand that other people had lives outside of her, it would irk her to no end when I would tell her that there was more to life than the self made hell she created, she lives with a guy whom she "allows" to pay her bills, yet screws around on him constantly looking for other sources of narcissistic supply and when those relationships fail, she goes back and makes it seem like the one she is using is the love of her life, makes every single little thing into a full blown drama, had no remorse for her immoral acts, and is just a bad bad person entirely. The thing that was sad is she met a similar sort and carried on a "relationship" with him for a year and a half even though he lived more than 2000 miles away and then found out the whole time she was supposedly seeing him, he was seeing others, of course her fragile little pathetic ego was bruised.
I finally called her upon the farce her life is, and she exploded and retreated. I felt like I had slain a dragon and have never looked back.
Since she's been out of my life all I feel is relief. People with this personality disorder as well as other personality disorders are poisonous, toxic and can be so damaging if you allow them to be. | |
|
| |
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/25/2008 1:33:53 AM | amazing all these type of categories women will draw up AFTER being with a guy, and usually for a long long time! it's like if an unsatisfactory relationship causes SOME women to dig into some psychological mumbo-jumbo and find the closest conditon of her mate and then once locks onto it can say the problem was him! "AHA, it's because of you and not me!"
why not just group men and women as NOT COMPATIBLE and move on?
except for the term feminist which is a very well-defined condition, I'll say on the most part women were just too worldly for me and other times they were not worldly but simply just not compatible which basically captures it all. everyone has their little problems/hang-ups and they do have counterparts and not everyone can be suitable. We made this world more complicated and because of that there is more separation between people hence this psychobabble. I am into the underlying motivations of people and entertain and ascertain psychological reasons for actions as it provides a greater understanding of how society functions, but to try to cast blame on one person for a relationship that didn't work out, utilizing written works outside of yourself is actually far-reaching.
!!-----> if someone has some obvious extreme condition, i doubt a "relationship" could even go on for more than a few days with a RATIONAL person. <-----!!
general statements:
So, was the attraction green eyes and it took 5 years later to figure out he had a OCD? Was the attraction him being a fireman and didn't realize till 20 years later that he was cheating with 40 other women? was he some "hot" guy who drove a mustang 5.0 and 3 years later you finally realized him and his toys were part of being a narcisist?
really use your mind in the beginning and the gonads later.
| |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/25/2008 5:52:37 AM | | i gotta say i dont kno a thing about narcissism and the proud idiots that endorse themselves that way.. i just wanna kno why firegurl wont write her own profile..lol.. honestly, proud ppl disgust me.. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:30:00 AM | A TRUE Narcissist? You mean like one who would move us three times for her career at the sake of mine? One who would come home and tell me about her suicidal thoughts and constantly ask me why I loved her? One who would just up and leave our marriage to have an affair with her married-with-three-kids boss, steal $12K from our joint marital account, file for divorce AGAINST ME under cruel and inhuman treatment (when nothing could be further from the truth), then try to bankrupt me into submission to accept her grounds?
Nope...never dated one...or even married one.
--J | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:45:43 AM | the DSM IV manual is suppose to be the new bible for one gender only. however, lots of bad stuff goes on with women from their **never quite feeling like they are getting what they deserve mentality**.
we are always given a false impression that the single women with kids and most break-ups are a fault of the man, his cheating, his not spending enough time with her, his drug use, etc and we are to not even think of women who do things like golfer mentioned above. even though i contend there are lots of bad men, on the surface a greater percentage than women (i say 80 to 50), but when you look deeper into the more insidiuous ways in which women are bad, we've got 80% across the board of people who can't stop themselves from engaging in horrible behavior.
this is why i opt to be so much less worldly than the typical american. the less worldliness, the less possibility for problems, for if you can feel content by doing less you won't be having thoughts of inaquacy to hijack a relationship!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/25/2008 3:58:46 PM | Yes, and it was like trying to reason with someone who had bricks for brains.  I was the "illogical" one according to him, and he was the logical one just because, as he reasoned, he was the man. Women are ruled by emotions, he said, and men are ruled by logic. Well, he did have one thing right. Men are definitely not ruled by emotions and if you knew him, you would know his emotions were non-existent because his heart was sucked dry. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/25/2008 9:23:31 PM | I think alot of men are assuming their ex female counterparts are narcissistic...but according to a lot of medical guides females are classified as Histrionic Personality disorder,not NPD. That is mainly a male disorder (although rarely a woman can have it). HPD has a lot of the same symptoms as NPD. Both have sociopathic behavior, both are selfish and self centered, highly manipulative, no conscience about anything they do to others and a heap of blame to point outward. They both create their own reality and live by it. Look it up..it will suprise you to see what similarities their are. Oh and by the way its also rare that men have HPD. I think the gender differences play a huge part in both disorders. Its not about bashing genders its about two separate disorders that mimic eachother. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/27/2008 5:24:19 PM | | Many people are selfish, self centered, highly manipulative, and have no conscience about anything they do to others. Many people exhibit some of these traits. Many people exhibit all of these traits. That doesn't necessarily make them NPD or HPD. That definitely makes them aholes. I find it amazing that when some people know something about a subject, they assume they are experts in the field, and can make a medical diagnosis. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:56:31 PM | | Hmm...never dated a narcissist, but I've run into 2 sociopaths...both very easily lied & mislead...and no conscience about it. Very difficult to spot at first if they're good at it...it becomes apparent only over time. Then I RAN! lol | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/27/2008 10:59:25 PM | My ex was diagnosed by an expert in this disorder. I have gotten my information through research and experts in this field. Its not about pulling a disorder out of a hat. I know about it because I lived with him. I feel some could show a little more sensitivity to what these people have gone through. Its a horrible thing to live through and hard to survive it. This is not my medical diagnosis, this was an experts diagnosis, a doctor with 35 years experience in mental disorders. I think hes earned his ability to diagnose anyone. We are simply here sharing our experiences and to support one another. This goes way beyond someone being mearly selfish,or not having a conscience about anything that they do. HPD and NPD are documented disorders. There is a difference between a narcissist and a narcissistic personality disorder. Thank you Quadmom for making a place to help others with this horrible disorder. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:22:51 PM | I have. On the plus side: Very charming guy, lots of charisma. Everybody instantly l0ves him. Lots of friends. Very talented. Sweet talker. Nice body, goes to the gym every day and takes steroid type supplements.
On the negative: Abusive, then justifies it with "it's all my fault, I made him behave that way" (but never actually admits he did anything wrong). Very convincing liar. Not a flinch. Even with recorded proof to the contrary. When you catch him lying, tries to make you think you are crazy, and that it is not your place to question him. Cheater. Can't turn down a woman's attention. Selfish (thinks foreplay is just for him). Craves attention. Occupation has him in the limelight. Very manipulative. Loves to look in the mirror. Arrogant as hell. Brags about how good looking he is. 50 and never married.
There you go. A true narcissist. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/27/2008 11:33:01 PM | | I already posted about my ex bf, but I forgot to ad that he was a chronic pot smoker too. Hey, it didn't last long before I got out. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/28/2008 12:19:41 AM | OMG!!! That pretty much describes the last nearly 19 years of my life. Acutally when I first met my ex-husband there were minor red flags about this. I just chalked it up to being married 3 times prior to BAD women and felt sorry for him so over looked it. As he has gotten older, the more prevalant this disorder has become. In fact to the point of him swearing he has completely lost his mind, and when asked a simple question stated that and said, he has no idea why he does the things he does.
He no longer had a use for my children from a previous marriage that he raised, and treated them as if they were some type of evil stranger. His comments the last five years really made me think he was loosing his mind. After him leaving because I confronted him on finding he had been on THIS site (still is, and several others) and that it was NOT the boy's all the times before I found tell tail signs of someone visiting these sites and others; I have learned a great deal about him and myself.
The world we lived in for most of our marriage was GREAT but looking back now, everyone and everything was not as it was. When I saw the real him come out the last couple of years, it was hard to fathom that he had been hiding this from me for so many years, and when I did see his real self, I just chalked it up to a bad day or whatever. When he no longer had a use for me and my kids we were systematically removed from his life and reduced to nothing. Which started shortly after the child support stopped.
He left our home and went directly to his fathers home where he is now living off him and taking all the old man has and can give. But he is the same as his son so they are perfect for each other.
The lying, emotional affairs, better than everyone else, using other people, all of it.... was VERY devastating. It is hard for me to trust anyone other than a few people. I am sure I will get passed that with time also.
This thread was exactly what I needed to know others have gotten passed this type of man. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:02:34 AM | No offense frozenrein but one can not hide this disorder unless you were in a coma for 19 years. Its not a disorder that just manifests itself one day, your marriage would have been far from GREAT any of the time and they thrive on turmoil and if there isn't any they make it sounds far from great to me. A true NPD has all of the same traits as what the above poster Petite described. Sounds like to me your ex was just an
!@#hole, they never admit there is anything wrong because it always someones elses fault.If he was a true NPD ( which I doubt) how the heck did you stay with him for 19 years , sure hope you got some therapy because these types of personalities can make you think you are going crazy. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:13:17 AM |
No offense frozenrein
None taken
There are varying degrees of this disorder, some sever and it can't be controlled nor hidden, while others are minor and can be.
It wasn't until we were together more than a few hours a day on a regular basis that things were shown for what they were/are. He was always working, or working odd hours. Sometimes contract work which he was away for a great length of time. He was able to turn on and keep the charm for short periods of time for most of our marriage. Had he been home more than away the marriage would have ended a LOT sooner I am sure.
Don't know if he is a narcisisit or not but I am glad he is gone. The narcicisit tendancy and traits are not something I would go thru again! | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/28/2008 11:19:31 AM |
sure hope you got some therapy because these types of personalities can make you think you are going crazy.
Yes I did thank God! And you are right, they do make you think YOU are the crazy one. It's in the passed and I am a better person because of it. Just glad it is over and I found ME again. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/29/2008 5:15:59 PM | Quadmom,
I see you have done your homework. And yes I agree this personality disorder and other ones (BPD, APD HPD, etc) are no joking matter in fact those that "joke" are neither one of them or never had the "fun" of being with one!!
So please, understand members this is not a joking matter and that these people are "toxic" to friends, family member and business partners. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:12:58 PM | | If he truly has NPD, then you know that you have to stay on guard, and not let him take advantage of you. You make him meet you on your turf. Do not be too good for your own good. He will not appreciate your extra effort, whether in bed, or doing his laundry, or mopping his floors. Know that you will be short-lived, and it will only last if you can stand your own ground, make him respect you, point out when he's rude, and don't over-extend yourself, because he will always be testing you to find out how much you will bend over for him. | |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 6/30/2008 12:19:50 PM | Absolutely... This web site is FULL of them! lol Many of the "Hotties", the VERY attractive people on here, fall into this category... Often that is WHY they are single! lol! Whenever I see those kinds of profiles, I remind myself they may not be worth fooling with even if I DO get their attention! :)
Before you pretty people go into orbit over that - notice I said "MANY", not "ALL"! 
Mark
| |
|
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 7/3/2008 6:45:56 PM |
the DSM IV manual is suppose to be the new bible for one gender only. however, lots of bad stuff goes on with women from their **never quite feeling like they are getting what they deserve mentality**.
I think that you should re-read the definition....
The most pervasive symptom of NPD is "grandiosity"....which doesn't translate into "never quite feeling like they are getting what they deserve, mentally."
It's more like, they think that they should be treated like royalty...a huge sense of "entitlement" reigns.
Plans for the future are "grand" and far removed from the actual probability.
That's just the first symptom..... | |
|
| |
| Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?
Posted: 7/22/2008 2:58:43 PM | This thread has helped me a lot to understand what happened in a recent relationship that ended badly with someone who at least has narcissistic tendencies if not actual NPD. Thank you for your insights.
Some of you might be interested in a recent NY Times article on the subject:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/fashion/20narcissist.html?scp=1&sq=narcissism&st=cse | |
|
|
| Page 32 of 36
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36 |
|
Home
login 
