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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/24/2007 11:20:05 AM | Are some people meant to be alone?
I don't think so. I think most of us think like this when a relationship doesn't go as we thought it would. There is a reason for everything and that person meant for you is there somewhere. | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/24/2007 8:25:34 PM | I never thought I'd say this but ... perhaps someof us are meant to be alone. When my divorce became final a little more than 3 yrs ago I decided to focus on me until I had the confidence to venture into the dating world. But after almost a year I am just about ready to give up and learn how to be content living a solitary life. Part of my problem is I suffer from the "nice guy" syndrome. Yes ... I am a gentleman. Yes ... I respect and adore women. Yes ... I always focus on making my dates as comfortable and enjoyable as humanly possible. But, unfortunately I am always looked at as a good friend and nothing more. While there is very little wrong with that ... I am searching for something more. So before the desperation strikes ... I think I'll start scounting the monastaries and brushing up on my calligraphy skills. I seem to have a lot of free time on my hands.
From the mountain top,
Gary | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/27/2007 7:25:20 AM | | I think definitely some people are meant to be alone, and in fact, some want it that way. With over 6 and a half billion people on earth, one would think there is "someone for everybody". But I don't think it's the case. I mean, what, in life works 100% of the time. Even if 99% of people in the world live the majority of their lives in a relationship or married, that still leaves 65,000,000 people who either never marry, mate, or have met someone early in life and were divorced or widowed and lived the majority of life alone. I just don't think it is statistically possible that EVERYONE will end up with a happy relationship for life..there are always exceptions to the rule. And don't forget, many of us had the wrong size lids for our teapots, and the right size lid for mine may be on someone else's pot..not properly fitting. Sounds harsh but I think that's just reality. | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/27/2007 10:40:54 AM | Here is the best answer I can come up with, Crimson..
People are alone for several different reasons:
1. They are not over a past relationship and therefore are unable to start a new relationship...beyond one night, that is...
2. They are in love with someone who is (see #1)
3. They enjoy the solitude and do not want to louse it up by risking themselves to trust someone else.
I hope this helped. I am sure there are other reasons, but I feel the 3 main ones are listed above.
Anna  | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/28/2007 6:32:59 PM | | sometimes alone is a good thing. alone means noone is going to get hurt, and that is not a bad thing. we all know what we are looking for , it is just blind luck that, or a talent i have not discovered, that empowers some to find it, and others to not. One mistake none of us can make is to stop trying to explore the possibilities, being it hanging on to something that is not there, or giving up all together. We have to keep marching forward and making the most of things and then someday if we ask the right person the right question.......and if we dont, that is ok too, because we did not forget to live our lives the way we wanted to. | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/29/2007 6:49:24 AM | Ahhhh solitude. Solitude of a person means seclusion or isolation, i.e. lack of contact with other people. It may stem from deliberate choice, contagious disease, disfiguring features or repulsive personal habits, or circumstances of employment or situation (see castaway).
Short-term solitude is often valued as a time when one may work, think or rest without being disturbed. It may be desired for privacy.
Long-term solitude is often seen as undesirable, causing loneliness or reclusion, resulting from inability to establish relationships. However, for some people solitude is not depressing. Still others (e.g. monks) regard long-term solitude as a means of spiritual enlightenment.
Or maybe they just enjoy peace and quiet!
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/30/2007 1:57:07 PM | There probably are people that are destined to be alone. I hope I'm not one of them, but its looking pretty bleak  | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 7/30/2007 2:30:02 PM | now magna, even those in prison tend to find someone to spend their life with!
being alone is of choice. i choose not to have anyone in my life at this time. when i find the person that caputures my thoughts then i'll choose not to be alone. there is someone out there for us all. just a matter of making that choice. | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/1/2007 5:13:47 PM | I agree with FKA...its ALL about choices....and timing. I still stick to my original statement above, however. I believe that one must be available emotionally and have no ties in order to really concentrate on a new relationship, or the pursuit of one.
There are so many different scenarios that play for or against someone when seeking a new relationship, sometimes the odds are stacked against you.
I think that someone has to be OK... no... actually PLEASED with themselves before even contemplating exploring a new relationship. I think a lot of answers we seek we can find within ourselves. This being said, I feel most people are alone because they chose to be.
They have either built walls they can not tear down, or are comfortable within those walls and are waiting for someone willing to climb over them. OR< they are so busy trying to break down someone elses walls they dont notice anyone else.
I know I am rambling...sorry, hope it makes sense!
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/3/2007 3:52:09 AM | | Sometimes I feel like I am one of those people that are meant to be alone, and for a long time that bothered me, but I am okay with it now. If and when that special person is to come into my life, then it will happen when the time is right for me! | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/3/2007 6:39:24 AM |
PLEASED with themselves before even contemplating exploring a new relationship. So many wonderful thoughtful posts on this subject. I agree totally with the above statement. I think each of us needs to learn to be happy in our own skin, content with alone, and have a love for ones self before we can be truly happy in a relationship. I know this is cliche' but it's true!!
Alone and lonely don't mean the same thing. I'm never lonely even when I'm alone. I have many wonderful things in my life that make it full. If someone comes along to share that experience with me GREAT and if not then that's OK too!   | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/3/2007 12:52:16 PM | Very Well Said Deb!! I feel exactly the same way. Everything in my life is going well. I have a beautiful child, great friends and a good job. I view a relationship as the icing. Not necessary for me to be happy, but it would make life a lil sweeter
I actually met you in person and I think you are great. I was at Lucky's about a month ago with a friend of mine. You are a sweetie!
Anna | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/3/2007 1:17:43 PM | I once lived in a duplex and when I got off work and went home, I would walk in the house, grab 2 beers out of the fridge and go upstairs to my bedroom where my computer etc. stuff was.
You see, I wasn't EVEN walking back down 14 steps to get another in like, less than two minutes.
ANYHOO, I once remarked to the woman who lived next to me that I felt like such an alcoholic drinking ALONE, you know, the dreaded, all by myself and she laughed and told me to not ever worry about that as she was sitting on the other side drinking as well.
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 8/3/2007 1:38:42 PM | Thanks Anna you and I have a similar thought pattern on what a relationship brings to the table!! I do remember meeting you now thanks for jogging me out of my CRS fog!! I hope you will be joining us again soon and we can continue this conversation in person!! 
I love that Neysha!! You're only as alone as you think you are!! lol | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 9/10/2009 10:10:17 AM | I can honestly say that being alone has gotten to be a whole lot more appealing to me than it was when I started this thread.
The worst kind of "alone" is being alone in a relationship, and that's the one kind of alone that I never, never want to face again.
The problems of being alone really do start to diminish somewhat as a person gets older. You are past the time of having more children and the children are grown and do not need parenting like before. Hence, being alone is no issue at all there.
Maybe the main problems of being alone later in life are the lack of communication, the lack of having someone to travel and do things with, and the lack of someone to share the responsibilities of life such as repairs, bills, and medical issues. But when I look back on my life, I'm surprised to realize that all of these things pretty much depended entirely on me anyway, all by myself, no matter whether I was in a relationship or not. I was always the rock on the beach and the guys were always the sea.
I think we sometimes underestimate just how alone we are going through life and having a relationship doesn't really make us any more "un-alone" than we are when we are all by ourselves. It could be that we all are meant to be alone in our consciousness, but only interactive in the outward details of life, but we are ever trying to get out of that consciousness and into what we think of as a better place connected to someone else's consciousness.
I'm starting to like being the rock on the beach and loving the sunshine when the tide goes out. | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 9/10/2009 10:39:26 AM | "I'm starting to like being the rock on the beach and loving the sunshine when the tide goes out."
My intuitive translation of this statement is:
I'm starting to like = I am accepting
being the rock on the beach = of my relative significance
loving the sunshine = liking the warmth
when the tide goes out = when someone provides it
So is that what you are saying? | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 9/11/2009 4:13:41 PM | avision4u, what I meant was I most always was the stable one in a relationship while the guy was like the churning sea, here one minute and gone the next, like the tide coming in and receding. It's like getting on the "us" bus together but along the way, realizing that the guy got off three stops back while he was giving the impression that he was still on the bus.
I believe that now my rock has finally washed up out of that brackish water and is enjoying the sunshine on the beach. Maybe some guy will come along and think he has found a gem on the shore and will put me in his pocket. But it doesn't matter. I'm enjoying this sunshine all by myself! | |
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| Are some people meant to be alone?
Posted: 10/15/2009 1:40:50 AM | TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION
NO NO NO AND NO
I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE I WANT A WOMAN
THAT'S THE REASON I'M HERE
I'M 31 SINGLE AND HATING IT! every minute of everyday of my mortal existence is filled with wanting the opposite sex!
wanting a new girlfreind!
why am I here again? oh to "find a freind" in case you didn't know I'M BEING SARCASTIC! | |
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