|
|
|
|
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/25/2007 1:26:29 PM | | sending her to counseling says that she did something wrong. If she is gay, would you rather her pretend to be straight and be unhappy and depressed, or to be gay and happy? | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/25/2007 2:37:34 PM | To every one: Yeah you say you're ok with it. To those who say that they are or would be ok with it if it was their kid(s). However I call bs. You're only ok with it 'cause it's not your son/daughter saying that they may/are bi or gay. I don't have kids myself, but I know my parents have no probs with some else being whatever sexual orientation. But if I were to come to my parents and say, "Mom, dad, I'm gay/bi.." They would freak!!!
So unless you've actually had your child say to you "I'm gay/bi.", then you can't say for sure wether or not you really would be ok with it. Saying that you would be fine with them no matter what their orientation was, that statement of being ok with it is completely false. 100% false.  | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/25/2007 3:16:03 PM | | Remember to be true to your feelings first and foremost, lead by example, the rest will fall into place, your baby-girl is fast becoming a young woman very much forming and creating her opinions and veiws that she will learn to live by and teach to others, how you react to this situtation could very well shape your little girls life,so tread lighty but steady, show her with your actions not your words what you believe to be right and what you believe to be wrong, the Creator is the one who will answer for her the questions she has, You will too in your reaction to action, your cause and effect, use your mind not your mouth, go for a drive and say nothing at all, let her pick your brain for the answers to questions her mind holds, do not worry or be concerned about those who do not wish to understand or would boldly try to dictate her destiny, she comes of good blood, her father is a strong man of good intention and principle she no doubt possesses the same within herself, she will be fine I am sure, show her how to walk in a good way, not to judge what she does not understand, to believe in all things great and small, she was created in the essence of a woman so shall she bloom, not without heartache or sorrow, but always with dream of tommorrow and what it might bring. Knowledge is power arm her well and she cannot fail, these words I give to you .....Blessed Be......... makasha' | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/25/2007 4:14:38 PM | | From the point of the view of the counselor:...I dislike getting referrals like these because it implies that something is wrong with the daughter and that, I, the counselor, needs to "fix" her in some way...When all she has done is explored her sexuality in a very healthy way...Lots of teen women explore romantic relationships with other women...Its NORMAL, which is what I end up the telling the parent , who often needs counseling more than the teen girl about THEIR sexuality.. | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/26/2007 10:59:18 AM | | blondie11, while you may hold a different opinion, you have no right to assume you know what anyone else thinks or believes. Maybe you'll learn when you get to be our age that there are many more important things in the world and life to worry about than whether or not one's son or daughter is homosexual or bi-sexual. I'm not sure why you posted since you didn't bother to answer the OPs question in any way. The OP is concerned about his daughter, which is wonderful...more parents should be concerned about their children. And as we all know that there are some ignorant people out there who see anyone who isn't straight heterosexual as being immoral, or worse, and do try to make their lives difficult, it's not surprising that the OP would be concerned about how society might accept his daughter, especially as she's still a child of 16. I believe that anyone who's just learning about their own sexuality, whether that's hetero, homosexual, or bi, needs to understand that there's nothing wrong with it and nothing wrong with them; and that while some people may not accept them, that some people simply don't accept others for many various reasons and sexuality is only one of them. Everyone needs to make themself happy, and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else (and if it involves anyone else they're a consenting adult) then it's no one else's business. | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/26/2007 11:48:45 AM | Oooh...don't get me started on this. On the rise? Ya, cuz every young girl in America is under the impression that its a turn on for guys. THATS why. I keep having flashes of Girls Gone Wild.
Its not on the rise because its necessarily their natural inclination. Sure, sometimes it is. But I bet ya anything most of the big push here is just image. Guys salivate all over themselves when theres girl on girl action. Correction, SOME guys. | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/26/2007 12:03:09 PM | OP, you said you made sure it was an open minded counselor that your daughter is going to. If the counselor is indeed open minded, then it quite possibly IS good for your daughter. She can come to terms with who she is in a non judgmental, impartial environment. At the end of it all, whatever her orientation, she may come out more balanced than could otherwise be expected for a teenager. Counselors usually work on esteem issues and self worth stuff.
Most counselors do not see bi/homosexual behaviors as a mental problem. This is good. Just support your daughter. | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/26/2007 12:20:20 PM | Didn't have time to read all the responses, but I just gotta say....What? You're kidding! Remember watching Jody Foster making out w/a girl on the big screen TV 25 years ago and the world going "OMG"? I was at the movie w/5 other 16 year olds and none of us were shocked. I thought it was a common little secret that we females make out with each other long before we make out with males! We all sure did. Played truth and dare and all kinds of stuff to be able to touch each other and get off. None of us turned out gay either, and it wasn't about any kind of "societal influence". It was about understanding who we were and sharing that first with people we trusted. Isn't that what this board says all the time? Erotica's great, find people you trust, same applies to plain old touch and seek foreplay.
I know as just "the dad" you're stuck on this one, but I'd tell her exactly what you've already told her. It's normal. Learn how to trust yourself. Progress at your own rate. There's nothing "wrong" with her. Any therapist worth their salt is going to handle the situation the same and move her onto "healthy" and "fine" in a few sessions.
Is this any indication why she's the "x"? | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/26/2007 1:29:48 PM | OP, I don't know why your ex freaked out over your daughter kissing another girl to the point of dragging her to a councellor. A friend of mine, a male who meets lots of different women, has been telling me that many younger women today (30 and under) claim to be bisexual, a lot more than did 20+ years ago. Maybe it's one of those things that are considered chic now, not sure.
Ninki | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/26/2007 1:31:55 PM |
To those who say that they are or would be ok with it if it was their kid(s). However I call bs.
No, I'd be okay with it, honestly! 
Ninki | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/26/2007 1:41:29 PM | | It sounds like your ex is more than a little threatened by you daughter's experimental behavior. Perhaps it should be your ex that needs to be in therapy. Sounds like your ex has a few of her own issues to deal. In my experience with my 3 daughters this is something totally normal and should certainly be talked about but in the context of a healthy and safe sex life not in terms of "OMFG! get thee to a nunnery!" -- Just my $0.02 worth. | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/26/2007 1:45:52 PM | letsmakeadeal, this must be an American phenomenon then??  I grew up in Germany, and none of us girls ever made out with each other at all. Not that there's anything wrong with it, it's just that it looks to me as if this is a fairly recent thing? Maybe I'm wrong or just completely clueless.
Ninki  | |
|
| |
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 2/26/2007 4:52:18 PM | | letsmakeadeal. I never made out with my gal pals as a teen. Tried it once in college, but never as a teen. Where did you grow up? I'm curious, there were very few girls that made out with each other in my high school, and I only graduated HS 9 years ago...I'd say most of us had our first kiss with boys. | |
|
| |
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 3/2/2007 11:22:38 AM | Hey MS - I just wanted to tell you about this event I went to last night and give you the website in case you are interested, and maybe its something you could share with your daughter. I don't know if she's just experimenting or if she actual is a lesbian - but, my nephew is gay and he came out to my sister's (his mom) side of the family when he was about 14 or so. From the time he could walk and talk, we all figured he would be gay when he grew up, but, as a kid, you don't really realize that your family knows such things. My only concerns were 1) that he would be too afraid to tell us and spend way too many years torturing himself and ultimately find himself in a very lost and depressed state, and 2) that kids in school would be evil to him.
Anyway - he spent the last 18 months working on this video outreach program in Columbus, Ohio, and he and 8 other gay or lesbian youths videotaped and edited their own documentary. My family went to the premiere last night. They actually had a rough-cut premier in Montreal last year, and then they made changes and showed the final version last night. The website to the program is http://www.videooutreach.org/ and it also has other links associated with the topics. But, the kids and the director have been invited to schools across the country to screen the movie. Ironically, most of the kids have very positive stories to tell, and others a little more painful. But, the concept of taking the project on the road is intended to let young kids know that they are not alone, and all of the kids in the documentary are very approachable people and expect that they will be called upon to help other young kids who feel very alone with this "thing" that makes them feel "different." I think it's a great idea - because, as I said, I was always most concerned about how my nephew's peers would receive him. It broke my heart to think that people would be mean to him for something that I feel is genetically inherited.
When my nephew told me he was gay, the most important thing I stressed to him was not to let being "gay" be the only thing that defined him. He is a wonderful person, with great talents and traits. This documentary did a really good job of showing that - - that each person is this, and this, and that, and they enjoy this thing and that thing, oh, and they're gay or lesbian.
One more thing, my family is actually chock-full-of Republicans, some more conservative than others. My political viewpoints have nothing to do with my love for my family. No dogma in the world would cause me to turn my back on them. And, obviously the rest of my family feels that way as well - my parents and all of my sisters (which, by the way, one of my sisters is a lesbian, and she probably has the healthiest relationship of all of us - although, she went through the struggle and depression that my nephew luckily didn't have to experience because she so did NOT want to have those feelings - she wished she could be "normal").
My nephew's father (who is divorced from my sister) is extremely religious (I guess that's his excuse), and he has said, when asked how he would feel if his daughter or son were gay, that "there are places people can go to 'fix' that." And I'm sure he really feels that way. So, three years and one documentary later, and he still doesn't know that his son is gay. His son had to "sneak" around on Thursdays to go to these weekly video sessions and work on this project. Isn't that sad?? Because he is so religiously against homosexuality, he is missing out on what could otherwise be very proud, encouraging, and supportive moments for a parent and child. How that kind of behavior is considered "Christian," I will never grasp.
Anyway - I don't know if your daughter is just experimenting or if she may actually be acting on feelings that she is inherently lesbian - but, if she does feel that she is gay, I hope this helps - both you, her, and maybe one day, her mother. | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 3/2/2007 4:44:36 PM |
To every one: Yeah you say you're ok with it. To those who say that they are or would be ok with it if it was their kid(s). However I call bs. You're only ok with it 'cause it's not your son/daughter saying that they may/are bi or gay. I don't have kids myself, but I know my parents have no probs with some else being whatever sexual orientation. But if I were to come to my parents and say, "Mom, dad, I'm gay/bi.." They would freak!!!
So unless you've actually had your child say to you "I'm gay/bi.", then you can't say for sure wether or not you really would be ok with it. Saying that you would be fine with them no matter what their orientation was, that statement of being ok with it is completely false. 100% false.
Wow, ok speak for yourself, not everyone else. I have had it done to me. My father realised after being married for 23 years to a woman, that he was gay, he just couldnt come out of the closest. I am infact Bi-sexual , and my parents know about it and support it.
People it is 2007 and these days it doesnt matter what your sexuality is, in Canada we support Gay marriage, we have gay bars, and a gay parade. People dont decide who they are sexually attracted to and they dont wake up one days and say " today I am going to be gay". It is your choice whether or not you want to accept it however bioest you want to be.
It is only natural to want to experiment at a young age, that is how one figures out who they are, dont turn oyur back on it, embrace it, you have a healthy child! | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 3/2/2007 6:59:30 PM | The fact that you had to even ask this question tells me more than I need to know about you. Especially when you say,” I’m not not concerned either way."
Society is fu$$$$. Let me give you a little lesson and please pay attention.
Why women become lesbians and or bisexual:
1. Hollywood, media, magazines etc they think it’s sexy. After a considerable amount of time they get brainwashed into thinking it is.
2. Most of them do it because they think that guys want that sort of thing. Guess what, they would be right for the most part, but NOT all guys do. Including this one. Any man, ANY MAN, who can see his wife doing it with another women and or encouraging it does not love his wife. End of story. Fact. Anyone who says otherwise is lying and trying to create an excuse for himself in his head. Same goes for girlfriends, but most importantly if your own daughter is doing it and you don't care. That raises a lot of questions.
3. Fluoride, pesticides and hormonal stimulants in the water (i.e. pollutants). Find it funny, they have already linked it, you just don't hear it on the American news stations.
4. Rich girls that have everything in there lives and got bored easily. Or women who get paid to do things and will do anything for money.
5. Destabilization of religion and trust me there are a lot of people around the world that have been trying to destabilize and abolish all religion. For a better global religion. The religion of love for everyone. Ever here of it? One world order or Globalization. Giving people no hope but in science only.
5. The way men treat women. They treat them like a piece of shit. Use them sexually until they are ready to settle down. Meanwhile, they hate men because of that.
***
5. And pay strict attention to this one, because this is the most important one. Sexual abuse and or physicall/psycological abuse from a family member.
All of the bisexual and gay men that I knew in my life time have been sexually abused at one point in there life by a family member. That's 10 out of 10, let alone the studies that have been done on this subject.
Society is ****ing up. It's not experimenting; society has done everything and is bored. In a few more years having sex with a family member will become normal. Don't believe me, like I said in my previous posts. Look at the trend in the world. What are you going to say that's not right? Why, I can argue that having sex with a family member and or animal is right. Why not? If sex with MM and FF is ok, why isn't that? What if I love my sister or brother? Isn’t that love?
All of the people I knew that were gay are severely depressed and are psychologically unstable to the point of suicide and guess what. Two of the people I knew from Greece killed themselves.
Aaaah, that's not the part that gets on the news or in Hollywood. Is it? I love women and it breaks my heart when I see a guy push it on a women because he says he loves her. Any chance I get I will confront that man. Every man who doesn't care or likes lesbians is an idiot. Wake up, when you **** them all up in the head and you want to settle down one day there won't be anyone left.
So you ask if you should be worried. Well brother, it’s bigger than just your daughters and you are partly at fault.
That's all we need is another Britney spears, Paris Hilton, Madonna or Angelina jolie. Oh you didn't know, angolina jolie had sex with men, women and her brother, but she is a great humanitarian. In addition she was sexually abused and so was Madonna.
Wake up. | |
|
| |
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 3/2/2007 7:25:30 PM | Just to clear this up from my previous post, the 2 people I said that killed themselves were women and not men.
Before you even ask, no one was going against them. No pressure. The last thing I remember was talking to one of them and she was crying her eyes out. Telling me that I was a good man and wished there were more of me. That was the only gay person I ever cared for. I already had some idea of what was going on.
A couple of months later she killed herself. Her mother and father sexually abused her.
They will pay one day for that, that is certain.
Sexual ****ing revolution, well you can’t have a revolution without some consequences.
So continue on this forum people and live in you care free world.
It’s not going to stay like that for long.
***A note to all the women who are against it and are strong minded (and men). You are truly precious in this world and I bow down to you. I hope to god you find good men in your lives. Good luck to you all.*** | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 3/2/2007 8:54:42 PM | | Many girls experiment due to their personal desires and others take part as part of the social pressures to be overtly sexual and even 'deviant', though i don't see lesbianism as a deviance, but a preference. Some even do it to attract guys, playing on their fantasies. honestly i owuldnt worry, it could be a phase, a trial, rebellion or even the beginning of their sexualization and life choice. Either way it would be great to support her and make sure that she doesnt feel pressured to behave a certain way. | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 3/2/2007 9:05:06 PM | It's unfortunate that she was "caught". It is normal, and she may very well be perfectly straight - it's just unfortunate this couldn't have played out to the end. Either way. If she is a lesbian, the counselling to "correct" "fix" her may cause long lasting damage, and if she is straight the counselling may just extend a curiousity/rebellion phase.
I hope it all works out for the best. | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 3/2/2007 9:06:31 PM | And you Blondie 111 are 100% judgemental.
You don't need to have had a child to comment on this accurately - maybe you just need to have lived through it.
letsmakeadeal - Thank you for your honesty in this post - I grew up in Europe and didn't go as far as making out but there was definitely a period of asking about what each others bras and undies etc. looked like that wasn't all about making sure we were keeping up with fashion.
| |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 3/2/2007 9:24:22 PM | | Hey there.From the looks of your pic it looks as if your daughter is not very old.Maybe 12 or so?You didn't say..either way hon I personaly think that most all young girls have a tendency to act out in a few ways that we find inappropriate.I think if handled calmly most are just that,being curious..After all it was just a kiss am I right?? | |
|
| Question for the ladies here...
Posted: 3/2/2007 9:43:27 PM | well let me put it this way..................
I work in a bar, have for the past 10 yrs, and it is definately more acceptable now than it ever was. If you were to walk into a strip club now, rather than 15 or 20 years ago, you will probably see just as many if not more women than men.
Usually it is a phase, and the girls figure that it's ok more so because they can't get pregnant this way so it's not wrong to explore their own sexuality. If it's not a phase and they aren't just exploring what feelings are growing, she will be able to tell you this. ie: if she finds girls more attractive to her than boys. Most kids by the time they are 15 usually know if they are gay. I think your ex has overreacted because of her own homophobic fears, not realizing the damage it could do to your daughter in the process. | |
|
|
| Page 3 of 5
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 |
|
Home
login 
