| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 11/25/2007 8:22:34 AM | For 60 green eyes:
Title: "looking for you..." - This needs to be a statement about you, not what you want.
Pictures: Delete number 6 and 7
Profession: Please list an actual profession, not a very vague field of work
Interests: Not enough, and too plain. Don't use boring, empty ones like "friends" and "family"
About me: "I just returned from a vacation in Cabo San Lucas..." - This is not a blog or personal news site.
"I keep fit by going to a line dancing class, pilates and..." - This screams, "I'm insecure about my body!!!". Lose it.
Clean up the spacing so it's in 2 concise paragraphs and everything else is ok. | |
|
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 11/25/2007 8:27:51 AM | This is for troberts5421
Title: "Seeking Friends, and hope to find love" - If I've said it once I've said it a billion times. This should be a statement about you, and not what you want. Try again.
Pictures: Bad. Don't use up-the-nose/mug shot webcam pictures, and your other two pictures are essentially duplicates. You need all new pictures.
Interests: Not enough. Add 8 more.
About me: I'm not really liking the "dear stranger" letter format. Actually, I don't like gimmicks of any kind. Keep it straightforward and simple.
First date: This is how this section translates into womanspeak, "bla bla bla restaurants bla bla bla I'm not interesting." Write something interesting or leave this section blank. You like "alternative thought"? Prove it. | |
|
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 11/25/2007 8:34:38 AM | This is for rawlk
Title: "A truly versatile guy" - While it *is* a statement about you, it's self complimentary and that is a no-no.
Pictures: Just one face picture. We need more, and also a full body picture. Minimum total pictures should be 3.
Seeking: You put 'dating' here. While this may seem innocent, I honestly think your odds are better if you use 'Long term' instead.
Interests: 3 generic interests are not enough. You need at least 10 unique interests.
About me:
"I am single straight male. I am in good shape mind and body. I am a versatile guy with a wide range of capabilities." - Redundancies and bragging. Delete it.
"I can party hard or I can be warm and romantic. I am a gentleman who knows how to treat a lady right and I am a man who can easily adapt to his surroundings." - Brag brag brag, delete it.
"I own a contracting business so money is not an issue with me either." - Hey hey! That was a brag about how totally awesomely rich you are! DELETE IT!
"I see and do many interesting things. " - And this means what to me, the reader?
"I believe in being passionate about what every you..." - Should be 'what ever you...'
"I believe the glass is half full not half empty." - Cliche, delete it
"I also like to Dance, Boat, Fish, Cook, Travel," - This belongs in your interests section, not 'about me'.
"I want to please a woman mental, physically, and emotionally" - This translates into woman-speak as "I only want sex from you."
"If you are looking for a friend to hang with, a fun date for drinks dinner movies and dancing or a serious committed relationship. I could the one for you." - this needs to be one sentence, and needs a "be" between 'could' and 'the'. | |
|
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 11/25/2007 8:38:44 AM | | Okay, Opticalnoise, I've read a few of your reviews on here, and althought you are totally brutal as you stated, you are also pretty much spot on with what you tell people - and there's nothing fairer than being honest and letting someone know straight up they might've made some mistakes, so I'd like it if you could review my profile... As brutally as you deem necessary... *eek* | |
|
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 11/25/2007 8:45:58 AM | | Thanks very much for your insight and feedback; I will make some changes; I sincerely appreciate your guidance and help. Have a wonderful holiday | |
|
| |
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 11/25/2007 10:34:39 AM | | Yeah, I could use you expertise in reviewing what I already have so far, granted I revamped it a few weeks ago. Also, will I need better pics, since I feel the ones I currently have are holding me back. | |
|
| |
| |
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 11/25/2007 2:22:57 PM | Thanks for the review, but I have yet to see a DO NOT ENTER sign that wasn't in all caps, so it's kind of necessary or I get a new headline all together.
and what's the problem with the Halloween picture? I think it shows a fun creative side. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 11/25/2007 6:27:01 PM | Alright Noisy...
I've been on this site for more than 2 years now! Is there some blatantly obvious reason I'm still single?!
lol | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 11/25/2007 10:07:41 PM | For eternal_sunshine23
Title: "Willing to lie about how we met! =D" - Good
Pictures: The one you have up is fine but we need more, your minimum should always be 3.
Interests:
Delete "and trying anything once"
Then add 4 more
Occupation: "Pro thumb wrestler" - I know you mean this to be a joke, but you should really put your actual job here.
About me: I think you have the right amount of physical text, but you have too many paragraph breaks and single sentence paragraphs. Cut the spacing down so it doesn't seem longer than it actually is. I also saw you used a lot of smilies in your ad, keep the maximum at 2.
"I'm a 23 year old" - This is a triple redundancy
"in a town called Waltham Cross" - Redundant
"I'm looking for a girl who's a bit different from the norm, you know?" - Cliche. I think everyone these days considers themselves "different from the norm".
I only have nitpicks for your profile, otherwise it's fine. You did a great job with this. | |
|
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 11/25/2007 10:14:03 PM | For BDRT
Title: "You Just Never Know" - Not bad, but not great. Try to make it a more specific statement about yourself.
Pictures: All face pictures only, all taken indoors. We need full body/upper torso+face pictures, preferably taken outside in the daytime as well.
Interests:
Remove "hanging with friends"
Then add 6 more
About me: This section has no paragraph style spacing and looks like one big ugly wad. Spread it out.
"I am looking to put some fun back into my life. " - Translates into manspeak as "I want you to be my personal entertainer."
"I'd love to ride on the back of your motorcycle. Don't have one? No problem," - Yes it is a problem. Now that you've introduced this precedent no one without a motorcycle will contact you and feel excluded. Saying "No problem" isn't enough.
"I'm always willing to learn something new. " - Have you ever wanted to learn how to make meth? Watch what you say.
"So that's what I'm doing while you are watching the game or whatever it is you do on a Sunday afternoon. " - You've set another precedent here that you are expecting your responders to be sports fans (who ignore you). Don't do this.
"Don't be afraid to say hello. Even if we don't make a match, we may become great friends!" - Delete this, please.
"If the man plans the date, I would hope that he would pick something..." Setting yet ANOTHER precedent that the man must be a self styled party planner. Good luck with that. | |
|
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 11/25/2007 10:24:01 PM | for thelegendofzaku:
Title: "Will you make me smile on the inside?" - No, no, no, no, and no. Look at my other reviews for more information on this.
Pictures: As you mentioned yourself, yes there is a problem here. It looks like you sat down in front of your computer, turned on your webcam, and pressed the 'capture image' button 10 times then uploaded them all. You need to use real pictures, not webcam pictures. Take them outside too. They will come out a lot better.
Interests: While I have no specific complaints here, just be aware that every single thing you listed is a very stereotypical 'male who lives with his parents after 21 and stays inside all day' set. I would really suggest you consider revising this while still remaining honest.
About me: Too short, only one paragraph. We need this to be doubled.
"I am just your typical guy from the city." - Delete this
"I am into video games, TV, surfing the internet, and listening to some metal and techno on the side." - Redundant, should be in interests section
"I work as a software engineer." - Redundant
"I am a laid back, open-minded person, and a really nice person to be around with." - Cliche and self complimentary
"I am trying to find that special girl that shares the same interests as me." - Overtly obvious and unnecessary.
"So if you like what you see, drop me a line and we will see where it goes from there." - Totally absolutely lame and stupid. Don't ever say "drop me a line" again, please.
There is a lot more wrong with this profile than just your pictures. I am suggesting you need a complete redo. | |
|
Home
login 
