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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/25/2007 7:46:10 AM | | Id like it if you could review my profile, havent been on this site in awhile..profiles been idle and would like to know what i can do to change it up abit. Thanks and hope to hear back from you soon. | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/25/2007 9:30:43 AM | This is for leechkie:
Title:
"Still looking for Mr Right" - This is pretty cliche, I would try to come up with something else. Also this kind of phrasing strongly implies that you are looking to get married ASAP. Make sure this is the message you want to be sending.
Details:
Occupation = "CSR" - What does this mean? Customer service representative? Creative surprise respondant? Controlled source requisitioner?
Interests:
Change "listening to the Blues" to "Blue"
Change "reading mystery novels" to "Mystery novels"
Remove "good friends"
Remove "Family"
- You should add about 4 more. Make sure they are very specific to your personality, and less than 3 words each. The less likely people are to find those words on other profiles the better!
About me:
" Yes, I do want to find a "REAL" man and I'm hoping to find one soon, well eventually anyways." - Statements about finding real men and real women in profiles are always bad. Usually this will put off a lot of potential responders, and it's also incredibly cliche. I also hear a hint of desperation in this words. I would remove this entire thing.
"It really sucked being alone during Christmas and I really didn't want to be alone on Valentines but yet again I was. Oh well!" - Remember, this is a profile and not a place to put in rants and complaints. Delete this.
"Family is important to me and I'm glad that I'm close to mine but it's not the same, if you know what I mean lol!!!" - No, I really don't know what you mean. And you shouldn't use 'lol' in a profile, keep that for online chatting.
"I'd love to come home to someone after work" - This says "I want to move in together ASAP!". Not good.
"I'm not interested in head games" - This is one of the most common, and most annoying cliches on profiles here. Please don't use this!
"Someone who can have fun without hurting themselves, or me, emotionally and or psyhically." - I don't like the sound of this at all. What are you trying to say here? This sounds like a threat. Physically is also misspelled.
"Don't get me wrong, I like to go out and have fun but there come's a time when we all have to grow up. I guess that's why I'm alone now... I grew up and he didn't." - Not only have we continued the creepy, ominous tone of the profile, but now we have added yet another rant, and it's about an ex! This is absolutely terrible! This definitely needs to go.
"To describe myself is hard cause I don't want to sound vain, but here goes..." - This is really bad.
"I'm not too tall, not too fat, blond with brown eyes, very attractive" - The brag train has left the station. You need to add a picture and let the reader decide. Never tell us that you are attractive. And the comment about 'not too fat', this translates into guy speak as "Tremendously overweight". Remember your profile is not a place to go on complimenting yourself.
"I really wish I had a picture to show you but my computer decided to quit and my brother was nice enough to give me his old, outdated, slow, annoying, old (did I say that yet) computer. So for now you'll just have to take my word for it, lol!" - Well, I'm not going to take your word for it. This sounds like an excuse and I don't buy it. Even a computer from pre 1995 can handle digital photos and the internet. Buy a $10 dollar webcam and take some pictures with that at the very least.
First date:
"I also have to watch the news every morning." - Now in what circumstance would your date be with you early enough to watch the morning news? Be careful about the hidden messages you are sending.
Overall:
This profile needs a lot of work. You need at least 3 pictures, you need to cut out ALL of the cliches, you need to fix your interests section, you need to cut out ALL of the rants and complaints, and you need to remove all of the weird and ominous statements about hurting your physically. This is a very cold and non-friendly profile that will push away a lot of people. | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review? Yes I do
Posted: 2/25/2007 9:46:43 AM | For moonbeamer:
Before I begin, I need to tell you up front that this is a very poor profile and I'm going to have a lot of non positive things to say. Always remember that my goal is to help you and I hope you will understand that I'm never trying to be mean in what I say. In any case lets move on:
Title:
"Decent Girly Wanted!" - Bad bad bad bad bad. This is really, genuinely bad. Someone in your age group should not be looking for 'girly'. The title should not say what you seek, but instead what you are. Focus on you!
Pictures:
Bad. We have one face shot that to me makes you look pretty mad. Another picture where we can't see any details at all, and a picture of a different person! (A child no less) This needs to be fixed. All of your pictures need to be deleted and you need all new ones. 2 clear face pictures (where you look happy, neutral, or like you are doing something) and 1 clear full body or upper half of torso + face picture. Don't put pictures up of your kids, that's not cool.
Details:
Occupation - "Dad and Student." This sounds fishy to me. You do absolutely nothing to earn money?
Interests:
Bad. You only listed two things, and neither one of them is clear or individualized. You should have a minimum of 10 interests. And none of them should be boring ones like 'music' and 'fun'. They need to be very specific and clear, like "Chinese food" instead of food. "Techno" instead of "music", and so on. Again, use 10 and make sure they are clear and specific, and 3 words or less each.
About me:
"Looking for a nice woman to share a life with, and to look after each other too!" - This is possible the worst thing you could have put here. This implies that you are desperate to marry and are willing to rush into it. Bad!
"I have a 3 year old, who sadly doesnt live with me" - What? This is a contradiction. You said earlier that part of your occupation is being a father. So if she doesn't live with you how can that possibly be true? It may be a fact, but certainly not a full time occupation.
"but known to large it up also in a night club!" - this must be English slang because I don't get this.
"Love good in-depth converasation, tho can be tad shy at first (Beer helps! lol!)" - BAD!! First, this is cliche, second, you misspelled conversation, and third, you imply that you need to be at least somewhat drunk in order to be able to talk to someone! How can it be something you love if you need to be drunk to do it?? Another contradiction!
"Will always try to be fair - and treat a lady with respect." - This is confusing. Being fair and respect are totally different, why are they joined here and what counts as being fair? Splitting the bill? Not using cheat codes when you take her home to play some Xbox? I don't get it.
"Thanks for reading Rog X" - Remove this.
This entire section is way too short. You should aim for 2 short paragraphs, roughly 4 sentences each. I didn't get any important details about you in this and we need a lot more than that.
And also just so you know, your last 5 posts appear on your profile. Statements like "My ex used to get really bloody horny when she was on her period." don't bare too well here. | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/25/2007 10:28:20 AM | This is for patricia694972:
Title:
"just looking----for you ???" - This is very common. Try to come up with something more unique.
Pictures:
Not very good. Pretty poor resolution (picture quality), and difficult to see, and also no full body picture. Were those old photos that you scanned? I would invest the 50 or 60 pounds and buy an entry model digital camera (2 MP+) and take some new pictures. I really can't tell what you look like from what you have now.
Interests:
Remove "laughing"
Remove "smell of a new baby£££" - Yuck! + Creepy! = BAD!
Clarify "happy people"
Clarify "pictures back seat" - What??
About me:
"i have been told i am very attractive, very young outlook on life, dry sense of humour, love to laugh and have fun" - Attention all passengers, the brag train is now boarding at platform 3. Never start ANYTHING off with "I have been told I am..." I can't stress this enough.
"feel free to contact me,my interests are, meeting people, reading, films,good food, wine, some sports,theatre, nature, travelling,and much more," - This is really disjointed to suddenly say 'feel free to contact me'. And you already said all of your interests, that's what the interests section is for! Delete all of this.
"i love to be indoors with a nice meal, a good dvd,and few glasses of wine," - This translates as "I don't like to go out but I drink a lot". Make sure that's your intended message.
"i have forgot why i put you there, lol." - lol is for use in online chats, not profiles.
"pps the one with the glasses on is my sister, be honest who`s the best looking lol" Only now you are admitting that one of your pictures isn't you?? This is terrible! Don't put pictures of other people on your profile! And again, no 'lol'!
"just meet get to know each other,at a wine bar" - This is at least the 3rd wine reference. Are you a serious alcoholic? That's the message I'm getting here.
"they say there is someone out there for all of us,but im not in any hurry." I would remove this.
Overall:
Why is there no capitalization and proper punctuation? It makes it look like your profile was written by a teenager (and not in a good way). Correct ALL of those mistakes, and fix up the suggestions I made, get all new pictures (NO OTHER PEOPLE!!!) and make up a new title. This one needs a lot of work. | |
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maggi
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Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 30 | |
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/25/2007 10:34:04 AM | Hi Op,
I'm about ready to take my line out of this pond. I seem to be attracting the wrong kind of fish. I'd appreciate any suggestions to improve my profile. Oh, and I can't seem to get my pictures clear....they are from a digi cam and seem to be okay on my computer but when I upload them...they are fuzzy wuzzy. Hopefully you can suggest some improvements. Many thanks..
Maggi | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/25/2007 3:12:47 PM | This one is for sweeetieepie: (Yup, it has 6 'e's)
Title:
"Looking for the last peice of my puzzle!" - Not bad. But, you spelled 'piece' wrong.
Pictures:
The face pictures are clear, but we need a full body/upper torso+face picture too.
Interests:
Remove "Taking long Walk" (or at least fix it)
Remove "Laughing Hysterically"
- Everything else is good, lots of variety and clear specifics. Good job!
About me:
"I am a honest Lady looking for an honest man!" - Honest has become one of those empty internet words with no meaning... I would consider revising this, or at least correct the capitalization of 'lady' and change 'a' to 'an'.
"I am loving, and kind." - It sounds like the brag train is on it's way to the station... don't compliment yourself. Let us make our own decisions about you.
"I enjoy spend time with my friends and family." - This is pretty empty and has a grammar error. Delete it.
"My children are a huge part of my life, although I do still have time to go out and do other things." - This translates into guy speak as 'I have no time for you and I am insecure about it'
"I want a man who likes to laugh often" - More empty statements...
"...that can verbalize his emotions" - Translates to 'I'm needy and like to pick fights over little things'
"...instead of becoming aggressive" - Translates to 'I'm emotionally damaged and carry lots of baggage'
"I want a man who knows what he wants, works at getting it, and tries to KEEP it! " - This is really unclear. What if what he wants is a life time supply of cocaine? As long as he works at getting it and trys to keep a supply, he meets your criteria. Be specifc.
Overall:
Far too many empty generalities and empty statements that hold no weight. While reading this I just hear 'bla bla bla bla' in my head. You need to make more clear and defined statements. Completely avoid generalities and plain 'i like laughing' kind of boring statements. Also I saw a few more typos and grammar errors in there than I noted here, please correct those too. | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/25/2007 4:07:17 PM | | hiya all ive been a member for a few months but ive only had one reply can someone look at my profile and give me advice on where im going wrong | |
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| Can u give me a review pls?
Posted: 2/26/2007 5:44:55 PM | This is for snickerdoodle70:
Pictures:
Not too impressive. These all look like low quality webcam shots. And all of them are only face pictures. Here is what I want you to do. Add at least 1 full body picture (Just you! Nobody else in the picture!) And change your primary picture from #1 to #3, for some reason you look a lot older and much more depressed in your current #1.
Title:
"Where have all the good men gone....?" - I don't like this one bit.
Details:
"Talk/E-mail" - Are you sure about this? This means that you absolutely do not ever want to meet anyone on this site for any reason! Make sure this is what you really meant.
Interests:
Remove "Fun"
Change "singing karaoke" to "Karaoke"
- Where are the rest of your interests? You have only given us 1 ("fun" absolutely does not count!). You need to have at least 10, and they need to be specific to you and not general boring ones like "hanging out" and "friends". Nope, I want you to say "Bob Seger" and not "Music", I want you to say "Sky diving" instead of "fun". Be specific!
About me:
"I'm a natural redhead but it's dyed blond at the moment." - Why are you telling me this if you include no pictures of you as a red head? I don't get it.
"I'm just looking for friends right now." - Is this really true? If so why do you want a profile review? And why does your title talk about where the good men went? This is a contradiction.
"'m not into all that cyber sex stuff so if that's what you are looking for then I'm not your girl." - This is a very negative and jaded comment. Delete it. If someone try's to get cyber sex, delete them!
"I'm told I have" - I hate this kind of self complimenting, moving it to the third person. Don't compliment yourself! Delete any lines like this!
"I love to laugh so someone with a good sense of humour would be great." - Bad. This means you want a comedian, someone to entertain you, not someone to share experiences with. Bad!
"If you want to talk please by all means send me a message." - This makes you sound desperate and the line is pointless, guys know what to do.
First date:
"A first date would just be coffee or something to talk and get to know each other." - why didn't you just leave this part blank? This is the default date, not an interesting one.
Overall:
I found this profile to be very depressed, jaded, and boring while also completely lack anything substantial or descriptive. It's like you didn't even create a profile at all. | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/26/2007 5:49:08 PM | could i have a bit more help please, what title will i put ? and can you write something to get me started, and i don`t drink, only once in a blue moon, cheers. | |
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| Can u give me a review pls?
Posted: 2/26/2007 5:55:01 PM | This is for flutterby74:
Title:
"Out there fishing again!" - Bad! This implies that you are dating and dumping constantly! BAD!
Pictures:
Face pictures are clear and easy to see, but your full body picture is from too far away. Try cropping it down so it doesn't get shrunk so much. Otherwise ok.
Details:
" Profession
Ask me and I will tell! " - Bad! Men will always assume the worst if you leave this blank. Just fill it in!
Interests:
Remove "Men of course"
- Where are the rest? I want you to add 5 more, totally original and interesting ones that apply to you specifically. No boring ones like "Fun" and "Hanging out".
About me:
"A grounded, happy, stable and confident woman." - The brag train will be arriving at platform 5, all passengers please make sure you have your ticket ready.
"I am outgoing, friendly and family oriented." - And with a jolt, the brag train takes off at an incredible speed!
"I will try most anything once." - Would you ever kill someone? Rob a liquor store? Think about what you are saying here.
"I am one of the most down to earth people you'll meet." - What was that? I couldn't hear you over the roaring engine of the brag train!
"I am not wanting in to rush in to another serious relationship too soon" - *Another* serious relationship too soon? This sounds like you do that a lot. I would rephrase this.
"I do have two young daughters that I adore!" - This is good pacing for introducing the fact that you have kids. Keep it.
"hings I like: staying active, movies, most types of music," - Do you like hardcore rave gabber? How about some marilyn manson? Are you up for some polka? Country? Do you *really* like *most* music, or do you really like most music that *you hear*. Remove this!"
"laughing and spending time with my friends." Does this even need to be said? I thought being alive would imply this. Remove it!
"I respond to all of my messages, even if it is to say I am not interested. It's the polite thing to do!" - this is a neat idea. keep it.
First Date:
"Surprise me!" - Well that's so sweet of you, put 100% of the pressure on the man. Bad!!!!!! | |
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2Tears
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Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 38 | |
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| Can u give me a review pls?
Posted: 2/26/2007 5:56:39 PM | | Patricia, change your title to: "My favorite color is [insert your favorite color here]" But maybe you would say 'colour'. Just something simple that says a little bit about you is always fine. | |
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| Can u give me a review pls?
Posted: 2/27/2007 1:17:12 AM | | very well, optical, how can i improve my profile. I'm pretty sure the pictures need improvement, as does the about me section, but i'm not sure what needs to be changed. | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/27/2007 1:42:28 AM | | I feel I need a brutally honest opinion on my profile. I know my About Me section needs work and I just have hit a mental mindblock on how to work it up better. | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/27/2007 4:57:50 AM | HELP!! I have read your reponses to several profiles and I need your help. Please let me know what you think. It will be greatly appreciated!!
Debbi | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/27/2007 6:44:47 AM | Hi,
I'd like a profile review please.I get plenty of messages and plenty asking me out,but Im not sure if iv really put enough in about myself?Iv mentioned my family,my hobbie's etc
Do I need to add more?or remove some?
Ali | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/27/2007 9:21:12 AM | | Ok, let's go, I would like to met someone but I don't want to just jump into a metting. If they would like to do this email, IM, phone then met ok, I hate it when I get "Hi, let's met", I don't know this person he could have an ax | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/27/2007 9:43:25 AM | This is for maddogg605:
Title:
"You never know what you might find" - Doesn't really say anything. Not good but not bad.
Pictures:
Two face pictures that are essentially the same. You need more variety and at least one full body picture so girls can get a good idea of what you look like in person.
Interests:
There are none! Why?
About Me:
"Enough is Enough...... I'm tired of all the headgames played by women on this website! Why make it your goal to try and humiliate, hurt, and belittle people...? Do you get off on this sh*t???? Do you feel good, closing the webpage knowing that you could have driven some poor ba$tard to depression... or worse..!!! " - Is this really your introduction? I would be extremely surprised if any woman read farther than the first sentence of this without pressing the 'Back' button in disgust. This is really bad. This is basically a rant against women in general. Rants about people don't tend to attract them. Delete this entire thing!
"Oh... this person smokes, this one has a hoot once in a while.... oh no....! This person has a "Few extra pounds... WHO CARES! You are more than likely passing by the one person who could make you happy if you could only look past the society set, barbie/ken bullsh!t!!! So pass on the people who don't fit in your fantasy world.... Take pride in your self gratifying, shallowness, and pass my page by..." ... And it just keeps going! Delete this!
"If anyone made it this far......" - And I would be incredibly surprised if they did.
"I'm almost 30, looking to settle down" - I wouldn't put in the settle down comment after that huge rant.
"Had a few issues, as you can tell by my rant above... " - This translates into woman-speak as "I have severe emotional problems and I want to take them out on everybody. Also I have tons of emotional baggage about bad dating experiences and I love to talk about it." BAD!
"but am now hoping that maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there who is not self centered, or self absorbed, who wants to get to know a real nice guy.... " - And the rant continues more! Why are you doing this? Who do you think is going to respond to you if all you do is complain about women? Are you nuts?
"I've been taken advantage of, and kicked to the curb, but you know what..... look at my pics... I'm still smiling...! " - Now more than 80% of your profile is a rant.
"So if you want.... send me a msg.... dont be shy..." - Aside from your profile suffering from a serious case of dot-dot-dot-itus, you are telling people to message you, based on what? What have you said about yourself besides your age? NOTHING! Delete this line, delete all of the extra '...'s, and put some some information about yourself and not just about the things you hate.
Overall:
This felt more like a complaint platform than a profile. Delete it all and start from scratch, you will never get anybody with a mess like this. | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review? Yes I do
Posted: 2/27/2007 9:47:30 AM | ilnux:
I'm not sure what you are asking for here. If you are just looking for friends then you really don't need a profile review.
But I will tell you that having "Unfortunately that would ruin the surprise. But if I could I would take my date on a horse drawn buggy or rickshaw ride, go up to the country side, and hopefully see the northern lights or sit and count the firefies." In your 'first date section, whilst clearly saying you are not single and want friends only is a total contradiction. I would fix that.
Otherwise I can't offer you much else. | |
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