| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 2/28/2007 10:45:19 PM | When my son was just 6 months old and had fallen asleep in the middle of the living room floor, I figured it was safe to take a nap on the couch. I woke up about an hour later to find that he had rolled himself over to my collection of cassette tapes and proceeded to pull out all the tape from each one. The pile was bigger than him! *sigh*
~BITW~ | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 2/28/2007 10:49:29 PM | | Ok, I cannot be the only one that has experianced the late night, dark house, bare footed meeting of foot and Lego? I always said a few 4 letter words to myself with that one. I also always said that I would throw them out, but never did. I guess I am a softy when it comes to the kids. Oh, my daughter did the hoochie red lipstick deal, but to her whole face. Oh I miss when they were little like that. My daughter (my youngest) is 7 already. Time flies. | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 12:54:50 AM | Story about themselves as a kid and the karma that later ensues...
When I was a wee one I had a HUGE avoidance to clothes. (Not much as changed, but at least now I'm slightly smarter / stealthier about it)
So when sent to the neighbours house to bring over cookies or somethign I would show up with cookies, and wearing nothing but a smile! But of course with a fantastically convenient trail of clothes to follow to get back home..
Or driving down the highway and having a pair of my panties flying like a flag off the rear antenna, noticed by my parents by the passing motorists laughing, pointing, and honking.
Moral of the story?
That neighbour who I would regularily streak around etc etc, ended up being my grade 12 english teacher who whenever I pissed her off or said something smartass in class would respond very loudly that "it didn't matter because remember that she has seen me naked", complete with descriptions of the birthmark I have on my right bum-cheek :) | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 1:44:48 AM | When my son was 3, his Aunt was babysitting him, and
watching her own daughter who was 5 ... well, they got
up early one morning, her daughter helped my then 3 yr
old son out of his crib and they proceeded for the bathroom
where they found these interesting little pads with stickers
on them so they stuck them all over the walls!!! lmao
I was just happy it wasn't anything too serious! :) | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 10:45:13 AM | For all you parents out there, here is the world's best punishment and it messes with their little heads!!
When I was in high school, I didn't come home for a full weekend. I called late every night to let the fam know I was ok and where I was, and then on the Monday I skipped school with my best friend and went to play lazer tag. Well the school called mom and she was PISSED. Now you have to know that if it's out there for a punishment, my parents tried it with me. They even threatened boarding school. So it took a while to come up with something that was not going to punish them as well.
About the Wednesday my mom comes to me and tells me she's got it, I have complete freedom (come again????). I can go where I want, do what I want, stay out as late as I want and I have a ride everywhere. (I'm thinking this is a punishment???)
And then my mom gets that AWFUL, HORRIBLE, MOM SMILE  you mom's know the one!! She smiles and say's and I quote "But I'm your best friend. I'm going everywhere with you and I'm listening in on all your phone calls." WHAT??? HELP!! CHILD ABUSE!!!
My friends throw a party on the Friday night and tell me I have to be there. I say I can't my mom will be there and they said it's not a party without you, bring your mom.
We get there at 9 and by 930 I'm ready to go home and do you all know where my mom was???
In the middle of the living room, DANCING to oldies with my friends, having the time of her life and being the centre of attention. Mortified does not begin to describe how I felt. I grounded myself after that and didn't leave the house for 2 weeks. Once she realized that it was no fun anymore my mom let me off punishment, but I'll tell ya, it worked!!! | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 10:57:06 AM | My sweet little 2 year old son........
It was lunch time and I had gotten 5 of the kids at the table sitting and ready to eat, but my son wasn't at the table yet. i called out to him and he said "just a minute mom, I'm putting moisturisers on me" .... well since i don't keep moiturizer in the living room , i went to see exactly what he was doing.
He had proceeded to open the large jar of diaper cream (the Zinc Oxide stuff), and had about half of the jar spread all over his face and in his hair and all over his bare little arms.....I screamed in horror when I saw him, his brown little eyes were all that was left untouched by the cream.
After trying to wash the stuff off him with shampoo, and baby soap 3 times(this stuff only comes off with pee I think) I kinda gave up and left him a bit ashen looking, hair glued down to his head.....but his skin was soft and moisturized!
Thank GAWD I don't have any left in diapers!!!! | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 12:42:35 PM | | Ok, I grew up in Texas, and have experienced the Texas style of child correction. Some of my favs were having to go "cut a switch" off a tree to get spankings with. Now some of it has rubbed off on me, so when my youngest son was about 4 he had this problem with sitting in his chair through an entire dinner. He was always getting up and standing while he ate. No matter how many times I would tell him that it was rude, and to sit down, he would stand up a minute later. So one night I told him that if he didn't sit down and stay sitting until we were done eating I would duct tape him to his chair. Now I don't make empty threats, so within the minute he stood up. Out came the tape, and he was soon securely fastened to his chair with a duct tape seatbelt. After some crying he settled down and finished eating. The next night we were eating and he started to stand up. So without saying anything, or even looking at him, I put a brand new roll of duct tape on the table right in front of his plate. He hasn't stood up at the dinner table since. | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 2:18:24 PM | There is a reason I call my four year old my devil in angels clothing ....
Was busy this summer out in the yard and he wanted to paint .. told him he had to wait till I was done. Ten minutes is an eternity to them. Came in the house and upstairs to his room and found that he got a hold of my nail polish and painted not only himself but the walls, book cases, bed, carpet etc .... then proceeds to look at me with his big smile and tell me how pretty it is ...
Saturday left him watching cartoons while I went to change the laundry around ... come into the kitchen to find that he emptied the oil into a container with rice, and cereal and flour and anything he could get his little hands on. Well he did get a fair bit of it into the container but alot of it on the carpet and the floor. Now the main thing that gets me mad is just an hour before I had washed all the floors .. and again when I walk into the room he looks at me and smiles and is so proud of himself..
Lets say you never leave this child anywhere by himself or your have some new mess (to him a project) to clean up.
The little angels
Now I am glad my 11 yr old has stopped with his inventions ... at least what I know of  | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 2:42:16 PM | ok...here is mine. I cannot remember how old my kids were, but I was sitting on my couch one day and happened to look at the walls (I try not to do this alot, cause then I will see they need to be cleaned) and noticed a brown line across them, across the pics and everything. I then looked up at the ceiling, and noticed same brown stuff. When cornered, the children finally confessed to putting chocotate milk in a super soaker and spraying my walls and ceiling
oh and the time i looked out my kitchen window and there was my 3yo on the roof of my shed going "Mom!! I on the shed!"
oh and the time the now 4y/o came into the house saying "Mom, are you mad?" now....when your child says this....you should worry. He says...sorry about the van. Well, he had taken a rock and *drawn* on the hood of my van, thinking it would come off. I had a skeleton head on my hood for years. People would laugh or look at me funny.
Still have the kids though... | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 2:43:34 PM | I can relate urbbygirl. I have identical twin boys who are now 11 and let me tell you, when they were younger they figured out that two heads are better than one and that if you split up, Mom can only chase one of us!
So picture being at the mall, you go into Zellers and it only takes one glance between them to alert you that something is up. Pow off they go, one running for the toy section and the other bee lining it to god knows where. Well I made the split second decision to nab Josh who's giggling and laughing his head off, thinking this is the best game evar. I think they were 3 at the time, so with him in tow, off we go looking for his brother Eli. I'm searching in the lingerie, the shoe section and finally hear giggling coming from the kitchen department. I enter the aisle to see Eli up a 15 foot stock ladder and my heart leaps into my throat. I go over and calmly say "Now Eli, come down from there" as I make my way slowly up the ladder. The little sh*t was laughing his head off that he'd been caught playing hide and go seek and scored the best place in the joint. Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Suffice it to say I got him down without losing my cool but oh was I mad, well more scared than anything. Unforunately this kind of thing was a regular occurrence when I'd take them out until they turned about 8.  Man oh man do I have stories. It kills me now when they see little kids and roll their eyes at them. Yeah if they could only remember the terror they put me through when they were younger.  | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 3:54:02 PM | I haven't had time to read the whole thread but... forget about my kids.. me, as a kid.. we owned a motor inn in Kamloops in my teen years... parents out.. I'm running the biz(at 16 years old), having a party.... details don't really matter, but... it was actually me, (I couldn't figure out a way to blame it on a friend), who ran straight through the plate GLASS doors.. yes.. THROUGH the glass..., while being chased by a girl who wanted to dump her beer on my head!(I will not say what I did to her, to make her feel this urge).
'nuff said, i think.
david g. | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 4:00:31 PM | Oh man....TWINS!!!! I do not envy you. I am so lucky....
My Chiblins (a cross between Child and Goblin) draw on the walls all of the time, that's where I got an idea for this last X-mas...
I have alot of antique X-mas ornaments, and last year they would not leave the tree alone no matter what I said or did, so this year I painted one on the wall.....haven't gotten around to painting over it yet, so when people come over they always have something to say about it, "when are you going to take the tree down?" "are you waiting for Chinese new year?" etc. but they also think it was a brilliant idea!
I was going out to a New Years party and they thought it would be a good idea to put eggs in my boots, don't actually know WHEN they put the eggs in there, but I found them with a very icky smooosh after I was all dressed up and ready to go! EEEEEEWWWWW
I did at one time have carpet in my home, and the male Chiblin took all of my DVD's and laid them on the carpet, playing "frog lillypad" and was jumping from one to the next....breaking each and every one....now I have hard wood, and lots of floor pillows!
You gotta love 'em!
I don't agree with the eating of the young....but I understand!  | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 4:15:44 PM | I used to tell my twins I was going to sell them on ebay.
I think my Mom gets the biggest kick out of my having twins because I was a hellion as a child. Stubborn, determined and a downright risk taker. lol When I was 3-4 years old we used to live in Iowa and I'd take off from the camp (my parents lived on a hippie/philosophers commune, yep I was even raised a vegetarian for awhile) anyways... they'd find me strolling along the highway. So one day my Mom decides to literally tie me to a tree. lol Well being the Houdini I was, I wiggled free and of course they're all out looking for me. Well this huge Newfoundlander, a dog, not a big newfie like "SaltBeef", used to follow me around and keep me out of trouble because yet again they found me wandering on the highway and each time I'd try to go on the road, the dog would gently push me back into the ditch. God I still remember that dog, he was always looking out for me and apparently he was the only one I'd listen to. | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 4:52:07 PM | Yes they say you get kids that act just like you or worse and its pay back.lol Well hmm my kids are pretty good that must mean i was an angel when i was a kid.lol
p.s. aww onlyfox your kids arnt that bad.They just like to draw on walls and things to i still find the odd mark on mine.lol | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 7:33:36 PM | | Ooooh, my now 8 year old has always had trouble sitting at the table for a whole minute, never mind a whole meal. I hadn't thought of the duct tape ploy! We need details though - what is the proper pounds to duct tape ratio to hold in a 60 lb. kid for 15-20 minutes? 1 wrap? 2? I knew duct tape has many uses but this really adds a whole new dimension! | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 9:17:19 PM | | I have one for you...my 21 yr old came into my bedroom when she was ten, with a friend for back up. She look scared, and said mom I have to tell you something. I am doing something that you are doing...in my mind I was going through a hundred different things...I took a deep breath and said ok...what is it. Mom, I am smoking...man I tell you...inside I was going phew...is that all....I thought she was going to tell me she was having sex... a few years later we are all clowning around in the livingroom, and she decides to walk around and show off her new hat to my coffee date...only problem...the hat was my bra...they do grow up...and embarrass you on different levels, but man is it ever a fun ride.... | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 10:47:19 PM | I am sure on days like the OP had, you could probably rent them at a resonable rate! LOL
PS...this is a good strategy to go to the good cartoon movies if you don't have monsters of your own! | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/1/2007 11:32:38 PM | Rate???...... $.01 each............. really....
Today was a simple fight day..... Fricken teachers and their DAMNED conventions anyway....lol | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/3/2007 6:55:28 AM | I woke from a mini couch nap on a Sunday to find my then 2 year old darling daughter....dripping goo of some kind into my face. ?? In my fuzzy headed state...I got up...staring at her with uncomprehension...and led her into the washroom to clean her up. Turns out the goo was raw egg.
Hmm.
I got her clothing peeled off...washed her off...washed ME off (by that point I was covered in this stuff).
Mommy and kidlet are smellin fresh...cleaned up...and into the kitchen we went. zzzziiiiiipppp!!!!!! across the floor mommy went....eggs EVERYWHERE. My adorable, lovely, sweet 2 year old child....had decided to crack 12 eggs....and when she realized she had made 'messies'...she used every single tea towel in the kitchen to try and hide the mess under the kitchen table.  I had about a 2 hour mess in there to clean up. Everytime I thought I was done, there was more of the egg hiding in some corner.
***********
Not to let daddy dearest out without some of the same...my daughter went for her usual weekend visit to her dad's place at about 2.5 years old. He woke on a Sunday morning at about 6am to her shrieking and screaming in the washroom.
He went to investigate the urgency of her shrieks...and found her flopping about on the floor.
She couldn't stand up...kept slipping all over the place.
Turns out she emptied ALL of his shampoo...conditioner....shaving cream...toothpaste...and mouthwash....allllllllllllllllll over his bathroom floor. Nice!!!
Her screaming was due to her not being able to get her feet under her....everytime she tried to stand up....she'd slip back down again. BOY was she angry!!!!!
hehehe....when my ex told me...I left in a fit of laughter..... | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/4/2007 7:06:34 PM | Well.. My neice watched my kids while I invaded Calgary for an evening... and this is what she said when I got home......
" OH AUNTY! (hand on heart), I'm sooooo glad to see YOU!.. Just so you know aunty, if you are ever on trial for hurting your children, I will be there to help you plead INSANITY!"
heeheehee.... Her mother will thank me for ENSURING her teenage daughter WILL NOT get pregnant anytime soon... lol! | |
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| Children for sale.... CHEAP!
Posted: 3/4/2007 7:41:13 PM | These stories are all great. And they so remind me why I am not in a rush to have kids any time soon hehehe  | |
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