| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 7/31/2007 7:10:26 AM | Nope, they aren't necessarily evil but they are cowards.
They don't have the strength of character to just deal with thier current situation first.
There may be tremendous pressure on relationships for may reasons but that cannot be justification for someone cheating, thats just ridiculous logic.
Yes, unfortunately it does seem like marriages are disposable in our society, but remember that each one is unique. I recently met an elderly couple (she was 100 and he was 101 y.o.) on one of our emergency calls that had been married 78 years. Touched my heart. | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 7/31/2007 10:45:36 AM | I will admit that I have cheated too in the past when I was younger and didn't care but in the same token, there were guys that I dated that I was completely faithful to. I am not evil, I don't go looking to cheat when I'm in a relationship. I was in a six year and a four year relationship and didn't cheat, nor did I want to.
Once a cheater always a cheater is a full of crap statement. | |
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Zeyphr
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Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 153 | |
| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 7/31/2007 10:59:06 AM | I can say that I have been on the receiving end of this a few times, one of whom I stayed with for 5 years after. But never was savvy enough about relationships to orchestrate a clever enough ruse in order to have something on the side while totally involved. It could have happened once, but the distress of hurting her outweighed the desire to do something regrettable that would give a temporal satisfaction of the moment.
In my book, a lie is a lie. If someone deceives another into a false sense of security while treating them as a disposable reltationship. It is one of the most devistating of lies. The person deceived has to live with the devistation in their lives. I have survived 10 years of PTSD because my ex walked out on me all of a sudden while citing odes of love. I was injured in a work related accident and lost my job, my home, my fiancee, my pristine health and career. She walked out 7 days before Christmas. I got over it but not her betrayal. The pain outweighed my ability to cope with it so I went to the mountains to take 64 sleeping pills and die. A cop dropped out of the night sky and pulled up in Front of my vehicle and shined his light in my eyes. This was 1999. I had to drop the lethal potion on the floor or appear listless and therefor rescued. We talked for an hour. In the last 9 years since. I have been vascillating and in and out of homelessness while trying to convalesce. In total, I have been homeless 5 out of the last 10 years. We had a 6 month remainder on our lease during which she had an affair with her personal trainer and we got back together. But it wasn't the same, so I left and lived in my car with a back injury, TMJ, neck damage, a concussion and nerve damage in my face, neck and leg. I lived like this for over one year before I could get viable employment and meagerly support myself on a poverty income. I still have no permanent residence, but I am over the worse of it methinks.
So if you think cheating is harmless, think again. Some take it harder than others. I am still in dismay. And while there are those who will say, "Get over it." if I were as unfeeling and unempathetic as all that. I would. But those who care seem to get eviscerated. No getting over that until nature heals the injured like a broken leg. Evil? The worse kind. | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 4:10:36 AM | I don't buy this talk of cheaters not being evil. They make a choice, knowing that it will hurt another person... if that's not evil, then I don't know what is. Everything else is merely an excuse.
If I don't cheat, there's no valid reason anybody else should. Ignorance is not a valid reason to commit evil acts. I don't care what you've gone through in life, we all have free will and the power of choice... evil people willingly commit evil acts. If you put yourself in a position of weakness, it's your fault and you should take responsibility. If it walks like a duck, sounds like a duck and acts like a duck... it must be a duck.
This isn't to say that people can't change, everyone makes errors (in judgments and outlooks)... action speaks louder than words though. So if someone wants to change, they need to show me, not talk about it. The first step is taking responsibility for your actions and doing everything in your power (no matter how hard) to make amends.
I've never cheated, but have been cheated on btw.
Cheating should be against the law, since we as a society, can't police ourselves. It's ridiculous that you're held accountable for a verbal agreement in business, but the same cannot be said for a verbal agreement in a relationship. Punishment should be heavy fines and/or reimbursement for any therapy, lost time, lost wages, etc... The mental damage cheating can inflict, is worse than some violent crimes. I've been robbed at gunpoint, it doesn't hold a candle to the damage cheating did to me.
Alright, I'll stop ranting now. | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 7:51:39 AM | | I HAVE NEVER CHEATED AND NEVER WILL!!! That being said my wife of 17 years cheated on me and it ruined a whole family. Her excuse was I never paid attention to her anymore.GEE BABY THINK MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE OF YOUR DRINKING PROBLEM AND VIOLENCE AGAINST US WHEN DRUNK. Cheaters should have at least have the grit to leave the person they are with before they do that.I had quite a few chances but to me it was more than just cheating on your spouse it was cheating on your kids too! Dont think I would be able to look my kids in the eye if I had!Thats just me. | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:17:00 AM | R.Hunter
I agree!!!!!! Someone who works his/her business to be sure it is a "sure" thing...before he/she lets you in on it....just awful what it does to ones heart...
It recently happen to me after 8 years w/this man. Apparently all the while he was 'loving' me....he'd been working on another relationship for the past 2 years....once he was sure it was 'in the bag' he ran off w/her and married her. I got not even a 'good-bye'....I was immedietly 'de-valued' to zero!! Again I say....the only loss is to them....in many many ways...they've proven to be the real 'zero'......a heel is a heel is a heel................no matter what fancy shoe it puts on!! | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:21:53 AM | I HAVE NEVER CHEATED AND NEVER WILL!!!
It's amazing how many replies start with this phrase. From some of the vitriol that comes after, I'd have to assume some people are either lying through their teeth or are scared sh*tless they might.
Not everyone is as pure as Joseph in the OT. OTOH Joseph could have been more worried about it causing him to lose his life if hubby found out. | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:31:15 AM | | Not lying through my teeth or afraid that I might! Just have more self worth and integrity than that! And yes I HAVE NEVER CHEATED!!! before I met my wife I was with this gal and started having mixed feelings about her I met someone else and before anything happened I ended it with the other woman! Its the right thing to do no matter what!!! CHEATERS ARE EVIL!!! They dont care about anybody but themselves | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:31:16 AM | | I was married for 26 years to my childhood sweetheart before he passed away about 5 years ago. I had NEVER cheated on him. I was in a relationship (or so I thought) with a gentleman for the past 4 years and had NEVER cheated on him either. Low and behold, we are no longer together because come to find out..........he CHEATED!!!! numerous times over. He left me for a girl after 2 years and was still with me behind her back. After 5 months, he broke up with her and we got back together. Another 2 years pass and WHAM! He gets another girlfriend... All this, every time is out of the blue to me. Well guess what????? Again he is still trying to come around me. Buys flowers and presents, calls almost every day. I finally see him for what he really is. A CHEATER who cannot possibly be a good boyfriend to anyone until he is truthful with himself. | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:53:26 AM | R hunter,
I was not addressing you, specifically, although I did use your post to get the quote.
Why is it you felt you had to defend yourself???? | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:56:22 AM | | No problem pal I wasnt trying to be defensive and didnt realise you used my post as a means to reply No hard feelings | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 9:58:09 AM |
before anything happened I ended it with the other woman! Its the right thing to do no matter what!!! I COMPLETELY agree R. Hunter. There is no excuse for cheating.  | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 10:07:50 AM | | well as the old words are said that if an animal has spot do not except them to change color ,but the pattern would always be the same. some people think that cheating is the way the world is to be. you have to also look at the way and live style that they were showed in this world and that is the way they think things should be | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 11:21:13 AM | As comtemporary and non traditional about relationships as I am, I would never cheat for two reasons.
1. I'd hate to have someone do it to me. I like to know all information about everything that involves my life and my health, and that is clearly deceptive. I could never make someone else live thru that...
2. Thru the natural course of my relationships, if I am interested in sleeping with a new person, it means must be done with the current one - once I'm done, I'm done. Sounds mean but at least it's not dishonest. So why sneak around? Better to just end the relationship and move on. I have never had the interest or patience to simultaneously entertain two people to that level.
I think most people that cheat are afraid of losing something or being alone. If they had nothing major to lose, and didn't mind being alone, most would just sever their ties and go after the next thing (or just enjoy being single instead of hanging on to someone they fell out of love with). | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 12:11:09 PM | | There is no sugar coating - Cheaters are evil, mean spirited , selfish people that only care about themselves and do not give a sh## about their spouses,kids and families as a whole. The fact they will risk not just themselves but their spouse to disease is absolutely disgusting. | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 12:20:43 PM | i've been cheated on, and i would never want to inflict that kind of pain on someone else.
many belive that once they've been hurt by someone, they then have the right to hurt others in turn.....
it's a sad way of looking at life. i believe that many people do that, and because of it, there are alot of people out there seeking revenge.
it would be nice, if people could learn from these situations and vow to not treat others like that......i wonder how much the adjustment in attitude would affect us all
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:35:50 PM | I think anyone who "cheats" (and they know when they are)
They are so much less than what they pretend to be to others. They are liars, theives, cunning, manipulative, selfish, unworthy, opportunists, low life poor excuses for human beings.....you can't be all that and NOT be evil!!!! EVEEEEEELLLL!! | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:51:01 PM | | personally!!!! i think cheaters are evil becasue my ex boyfriend cheated on me with an older woman, and a few months after i forgave him as he said he had split with her and realised he made a mistake... but he hadnt so yeh i think they are evil! | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:59:30 PM | Well said by SlyKnight! Cheaters have no self respect or respect for others. There is no excuse. There is no "I didn't mean for it to happen, it just happened". Cheating is a CHOICE!!!! Nobody holds a gun to your head and tells you to cheat or else. There are no social pressures to cheat as the moron who posted the question implies. That is a copout to justify their own selfishness. Life isn't about jumping on the next train that looks better than the one you're on. These kind of people will never be satisfied with their lives. What they have is never good enough, never exciting enough, they're never rich enough, never have enough expensive toys...you get the picture.
What it boils down to is this: cheaters intentionally inflict emotional pain, misery, and dispair on people they once claimed to love for their own selfish gain. That's not something I'll ever have to answer to God for.
If you've been the cheater, you probably felt young, desireable and the excitement of the cheating. If you're the victim, you've suffered the pain and humiliation that I have felt and I sympathize with you.
If you're thinking of cheating, have the common courtesy and self respect of letting your spouse/girlfriend know that you are unhappy...and WHY you are unhappy. If you can't work it out, get divorced/break-up and then you can do what you want and nobody cares. Don't think that you can hide what you are doing. Once it's out that you are a cheater, you are a cheater for life and EVERYBODY talks about you...behind your back. Is that how you want to be remembered by friends, relatives...your kids? | |
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| Cheaters aren't necessarily evil?
Posted: 9/20/2007 3:15:27 PM | | yo i agree there not evil just scum right not being funny ok maybe not all fun and maybe its our fault in some way we not giving them attention or whatever but my missus cheats on me but she has this way of manipulating me to think that she hasnt and she refuses to admit she has ive been cheated on alot i think theyre extremely selfish people who cheat and dont think about trying to make there relationship work just a quick thrill | |
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