| committment phobia
Posted: 3/8/2007 9:33:40 AM | | My experience is that two people that are crazy about each other, will move heaven and earth to be together...amen. | |
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| committment phobia
Posted: 3/8/2007 11:34:43 AM | BBrandonB - To myself, I made a wise decision (for now) and of course, she moved out with my son. Would you call me commitment phobic? Am I truly selfish b/c we share a child together? Do you think marrying this girl could actually calm her down?
The number one person to think of here to me is not yourself, your girlfriend but you child. Put the child first. Now would the child grow up emotionally, spiritually etc better with 2 parents that are committed to her well-being or just one with a visiting parent? I think 2 parents married are better, but then I am old-fashioned. I do volunteer work with troubled youths in jail and most of them come from one parent families. The father makes a HUGE difference, girl or boy.
Some will say "Yeah, but 2 parents fighting all the time? Is not the child better off with just one in that case?"
That is like the worse case scenerio all the time 24/7.
Sounds like your girlfriend is so scared of being saddled with most of the responsilibity that she is lashing out, frightened.
She may never stop yelling when she is angry. She may never grow up out of it. Marriage will not fix it.
But honestly it does appear you do love her.
I grew up in a one parent family. My parents fought. I would have prefered they would have worked it out.
I am a strong supporter of 2 parents putting the child before themselves. And I agree with Dr. Laura about 98% of the time so you might put my opinion aside.
Sex to me is a huge deal....spiritually, emotionally and especially when a baby appears on the scene. To me, you already made your committment. Marriage is tough. but so is being a parent. | |
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| committment phobia
Posted: 3/8/2007 11:52:27 AM | | I think you misunderstand... my child comes absolutely first but being married is not a requisite of loving your child. There is nothing I dont do for him. He is with me everyday. If it is not to be a happy home together, it is better to be separate. Her getting pregnant so soon was obviously not planned, but that issue still shouldnt force a marriage. I also believe if I went into further detail about some incidents, u might have diff view. I accept your thoughts though and thank you. | |
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| committment phobia
Posted: 3/8/2007 1:30:25 PM |
my child comes absolutely first but being married is not a requisite of loving your child.
The one thing you won't do for him...marriage.
God bless you. | |
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| committment phobia
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:32:56 PM | AsianAce..
My experience is that two people that are crazy about each other, will move heaven and earth to be together...amen. ...The word does not even come up in conversation when the desire and feelings match.... for then it's destiny!!
Love is blind... just wish it wasn't picky as well!!! | |
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| committment phobia
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:35:27 PM | this is all an excuse! I just finished with this same scenario - two years wasted on somebody who "loved" me, didn't want to give me up because I "took care of him in every way," but he for damn sure was not going to give up doing whatever he wanted with whomever he wanted whenever he wanted to create something real and meaningful with me! I left, took him back, left again, believed him again - got put through incredible sadness, hurt and grief - and finally just broke it off.
these men are not "alone and confused." most men do not look at these situations or themselves the same way women do. his "inability" to go through counseling and to meet you half way in the relationship means he simply does not want to.
move on ... save yourself while you can! | |
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| committment phobia
Posted: 7/10/2009 7:52:48 PM | | I am committed to having a phobia of phobias | |
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