| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/30/2007 11:23:54 PM |
men don't get "attached" like women.
They don't? Are you calling me a woman?
SO, girls, be careful who you choose to have sex with - if you get emotionally attached, you may end up having your heart broken...
That's so sexist. I got emotionally attached and had my heart broken. It works for both sexes. | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 3:39:37 AM | Well becuz of little things.Like psycho/sociology/biology.
theology,culturalism and a few gazillion other things :D.Just let me know if ya want me to answer.Da secrets of the universe for ya.While Im sharing.My infinite wisdom. :D
Anyway,Im just messing around.All that above is relevant 2 your question though.Plus have U ever thought.How U might feel ( or have 2 feel )About someone.To let them shove a great big sausage repeatedly into your bod :D ? Gotta hand it 2 women.Got more balls than I do. Way 2 take one for the team ladies.
When U can snatch the pebble from my hand.Probally means I letcha do it.I was just testing U and stuff  And gimme my fecking pebble back.Ya lowdown thieving **stard ! lol.
laterz folks. | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 7:01:11 AM | As I read through all these well thought out responses, I realize that I just never gave it much thought at all. I never thought of having sex was anything but that, Having Sex.---and the more I read---the more I think I'll keep it that way---You folks do way to much thinking, about a fun experience, that should happen naturally, with out every nuance being dissected.---Lighten up---and enjoy the moment---It's not a lab experiment. | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 8:09:56 AM | whatyouwaitingfor you should stop using vanurable women for sex and learn some morales. Also go to the local health clinic and get yourself checked out for diseases.
The aids virus is so small it can seep through the tiniest hole in a condom.
One day you may meet your match some hard nosed woman that uses men and chews them up spits them out like dirt . Not very nice. | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 8:12:22 AM | | There are plenty of women who enjoy no strings sex and plenty of men who need it served up with a large dollop of committment. But 'generally' it seems that women (I did say 'generally') do get emotionally attached more easily. As they are the ones who produce the babies, it makes sense biologically. | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 8:49:28 AM | You did not write how soon you after you met them that you had sex, maybe you spoke to them a month after meeting them and said i only want to use you for sex and by that time they got attached to you.
or maybe you have sex on the first date, she must be a desperate sort, if she expects committment after sex when she just met you. I don,t know you but sounds like you may have spent a good deal of prior time sweet talking cos no woman in her right mind would expect committment or want it from a guy she has just met who says to her "LOOK I ONLY WANT SEX WITH YOU AND AFTER THAT I AM GOING TO DUMP YOU, YOU CAN GET LOST* be real | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:29:35 AM | Ladies Please--I am not a Womanizer---It is a chemical attraction thing---We gravitate to each other. There are fine folks of both genders, that just like a good romp in the sack from time to time, and nothin more than that. This isn't the stone ages, or haven't you heard. Liberation and all that. I have known several of these Ladies for more than 40 years, and they continue to have my deepest respect. --Why ruin a great relationship, by trying to put all the baggage on to it, that will have to be unloaded sooner or later anyway.--Time may clear these things up for you. | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:41:20 AM | I do not see what I have to have sex with a woman to be committed to her and why I have to be committed to her because or before we make love. The heart if fickle, both the man's and the woman's, thus Eros/being in Love, is not a driver of commitment, on the contrary. Because the heart is fickle! And eros and romance include sex but they are not just about sex. It's like comparing raw meat with a French cuisine steak with all the salads etc. It's all in the "cooking", not the meat itself, IMO, for both men and women. Raw sex is too raw, at least for my philosophical tastes! We might as well eat raw meat (I do not eat raw fish either!!!).
Now, if biochemists say that when a woman has sex with a man, then, her body releases some chemical which drives her to commitment, there must a an antidote to this chemical problem. Why a problem? Because this chemical goes against the drive of the heart (fickle).
Thus if the theory about this chemical is correct, then indeed this "condition" must be addressed by science. The same applies to HIV. And condoms technology.
Is commitment then:
a) Driven by a chemical reaction
b) By the fear of HIV/AIDS? But there are non sexual encounters, exposure to other peoples' fuilds, which can cause infection. What about those? Why is HIV/AIDS always brought up in discussion about the merits of LTRs and "commitment"?
c) Driven by social and economic insecurity or a preference of some people to be "in pairs" (the couple syndrome)?
d) Other
e) All of the above? That sounds quite "calculative" to me and not romantic at all.
If anything, I think that it should be women who would NOT want, in this day and age, to have to be committed to a man simply because a man satisfies a woman in bed. So what? Big deal! Unless there is an unspoken shortage of good male lovers and women are afraid to say it???!!!!
Because it is women do not REALLY need men these days, they are more capable of living "alone" than men are (on average, always exceptions exist, many).
What women and men need, IMO, is commited, real friends of both sexes, for life. To grow old with. Not to be "alone" and live alone at old age and have to go to retirement homes surrounded by strangers!
And more socialization in this "bowling alone" day and age, especially in the USA.
The needs for romance and love making and sex can be met w/o the need to be "coupled" with a person's needs for REAL friends, for life. That is my view, but then, I am European, and it is a philosophical view.
How, what does the risk of STDs REALLY have to (or should have to do) with the value of commitment between two people! It does not reinforce the pro-commitment arguments, IMO, on the contrary, it weakens them. If the cure for all STDs is found, should commitments become a memory, then? Hm!
And love has nothing to do with sex. We do not love other humans due to sexual reasons. Let us not mix "Love" with Eros, In Love and Romance!
Pure sex, without some intellectual connection between a man and a woman is in my view quite "raw", pure animal driven. But from that intellectual link to "commitment", I do not see how the algorithm works! Commitment to what? A chemical reaction? Sounds scary? As scary as the risk of STDs! Is there an antidote to this chemical reaction thing which "enslaves" a woman to a man simply because they slept together?
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:54:24 AM | I feel sorry for you, you are confused and deluded. Who are you to judge how good loving making is think it gets ruined by people being committed to one another.
I have learnt that friendship is the an, important part of a relationship the people I know who have good relaionships are good friends as well, they care about each other
not use people when they selfishly desire it and then dump them.
I think you are just saying you have known these women for 40 years because you want to be seen in a good light.
Making love is beautiful and much more fulfilling between two people who are committed and care for one another than a romp under the sheets for quick relief , its thats liberation you can keep it. | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:00:36 AM | I will not reply to or discuss posts containing personal remarks towards me, only ones based purely on argumentation/logic. That is how I was taught to discuss. I reserve emotion for affairs of the heart and human interactions. Sex w/o emotion is indeed "too raw".
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:29:48 AM | | In all honesty, we are mature and all that, but if it was really good and we actually like you we tend to open up feelings... at the time... we werent sure we had. If you cant handle that then keep your shit in your pants, trust me if it werent for guys we could go a LONG time without sex. | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 12:20:55 PM | | Great Post!...I totally agree with you. I think that what women want today is not 'committed', but 'connected' sex. songdisciple you were awesome in describing an example of connected sex....there are no time expectations, only expectations to be together as long as it remains this exquisite....and very true that you both are left with beautiful memories that never dull, tarnish, nor hurt, How does this differ from the 'raw' sex that is so unpopular. As was posted before 'connected' sex is that sense of adventure and mindset...it's not just about sex, it's about romance and sensuality. Sex is all that two people make it. I just think that what women are vocalizing is connective sex and men are hearing committed sex. | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 12:57:00 PM | Is it wrong for women to want more out of sex then sex? And are you saying that only women do this?
It's the same on both ends, it all depends on who you are sleeping with. If you are so ignorant that you can't tell what someone you are sleeping with wants from you, then maybe you shouldn't have slept with them in the first place. Also, don't generalize. Most women who do come across as wanting to be 'with' you after sex is probably just acting that way because she thinks that that is what YOU wanted out of it. Believe it or not, it's not common that people go around and have sex with people they have met for the first time and expect both parties to just forget about it completely after.
Ever think that you are the one to blame for this? If you are going to go as far as to say that "women equate sex with committment," then maybe you should stop having sex, at least until you find someone who you KNOW is on the same page as you.
And, if we are going to be general, men do this just as much as women. I don't know what's happening these days (maybe it's something in the food), but men are becomming big 'sucky-babies'. Y'all cry more than we do. So when it comes to sex, men are 'generally' more attached then women; you just don't like to admit it.
So next time you want to go off and judge the women you sleep with, judge yourself for sleeping with them. | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 4:33:22 PM | | One of the first mistake Judgmental people make, is to acuss other's of being judgmental---You know nothin of me, other than what I decide to post here. To question my honesty right off the bat, show no class, and I could find it offensive---but since I consider the source, it's cool. Friends do have sex my Dear--would you have sex with someone that wasn't yer friend?? ----To bad Youth is still being wasted on the Young | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 4:45:13 PM |
One of the first mistake Judgmental people make, is to acuss other's of being judgmental---You know nothin of me, other than what I decide to post here.
What you post here is what you are judged on here. How could it be any other way?
but since I consider the source, it's cool.
Really? Then why post a rant?
Friends do have sex my Dear--would you have sex with someone that wasn't yer friend??
You'd show a little more class if you could at least give some clue as to whom you are ranting at. (The instructions for quoting are right there on the posting screen!)
P.S. Have you proof read your profile? | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 6:14:02 PM | Well, I think it all boils down to the inherent differences between males and females in this issue. While I do believe that there are women out there capable of having casual sex with no intent of committing to someone, it is nevertheless a female's common nature to take sex seriously. Generally speaking, men have the ability to seperate their emotions from their physical actions in a way that women cannot seem to fanthom. Sometimes, we can and DO find a way to override our instinct and are able to attain that same ability, but normally we do not just give our bodies over to our partner during sex. Our minds and sometimes, even our souls are given as well. I'm not sure if this qualifies for the woman to assume that there is a committment or not seeing how the man never gave himself to her in the same way and so should not in any way be held to that, but of course some women do not understand that. All they know is that they gave of themselves completely and cannot understand why and how the male did not.
Hope that helps....
Summer | |
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| Why do women equate sex with committment...
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:38:10 PM |
Generally speaking, men have the ability to seperate their emotions from their physical actions in a way that women cannot seem to fanthom. Sometimes, we can and DO find a way to override our instinct and are able to attain that same ability,
I do not agree that men have the ability to seperate their emotions from their physical actions. Many, maybe most, men do not (separate).
but normally we do not just give our bodies over to our partner during sex. Our minds and sometimes, even our souls are given as well.
Many men do it to. We engage not only our bodies but also our minds and our emotions and (s0me) our souls during sex and generally for a period of time. The issue is how long!
How many years in the "Long Term" some women seek? Until THEY decide otherwise? Whi decides first the evaporation of "Eros" and thus realizes the end of the relationship? Or is the relationship based on non emotional (thus utilitarian) factors/drivers?
But the question is a) whether the link is a " connection" or a "commitment" and b) what duration this has. As per (b), I do not see why there should be inherently different patterns between men and women in terms of the duration of this connection or commitment. I attribute historical differences in patterns between men and women to socio-environmental factors and to maternity. Thus I think that they converge over times, as equality is achieved and maternity is not core in the minds of many women. But others attribute it to chemical or genetic factors and argue that these remain unchangeable over time. That is the core of the divergence of opinions, I think. | |
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