| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/11/2007 5:21:36 PM | I personally wouldn't give him a key. Invading my privacy and snooping through my stuff would drive me nuts.
Kevin | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/12/2007 9:17:32 PM | Hi Political Beauty
Find it out you haven't responded to my post and ideas? Did you somehow miss it?
OnePheonixRising | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/12/2007 9:17:44 PM | Hi Political Beauty
Find it odd you haven't responded to my post and ideas? Did you somehow miss it?
OnePheonixRising | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:29:45 AM | Sounds like it depends whether it's based on ego and power trip, or just practicality and common sense. Is all this based on maturity or immaturity?
If there is still left-over baggage and issues from the relationship, then it could be ego based. If it's all well and truly over, and you've both 100% moved on, then it's about practicality.
It does sound like you don't trust him though, and you might want to try and figure out why that is. There are trust issues involved here, so you'll want to sort out whether it's because he's not trustworthy, or you aren't capable of trusting him. Ask yourself - why is it that you don't have faith in him?
And of course, if he ever was to have a key, then naturally you would have a very clear understanding that certain parts of the house were out of bounds (ie your bedroom, personal drawers, etc).
Quite frankly though, what he has suggested sounds like practical common sense to me. And besides, your child would probably prefer to spend time at home instead of couped up in a car for a few hours a week.
And if the father of your child is genuinely willing to feed, bathe him and do homework with him then surely that would result in father-son bonding that would have huge positive effects for the rest of their lives? | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/16/2007 5:34:14 AM | | THat was my point all toghether , guys and women speak two differant languages . If you give the keys to your ex , what languadge is he speaking . What is his intentions and what are your intentions' . | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/16/2007 5:38:48 AM | | I think that Samantha on here should shut off her voice box , and go sit in "transit" for awhile in that favorite drinking bar she goes to , until she blacks out and falls on the floor once a night . Sounds like a drunk sollution to me , are you insane | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/16/2007 6:11:36 AM | While I think he probably does have your son's best interest at heart. I also do not believe that anyone who does not live in your home should have a key to your home. If you want to give a key to your son, that may be more appropriate as his father would not be able to just let himself in unless he was watching your son.
Hope I helped. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/16/2007 5:34:31 PM | LOL! This forum posting can definitely be interesting to say the least. Politicalbeauty, I meant no offense whatsoever in my posting, was merely trying to suggest other alternatives for you to consider that hadn’t been previously mentioned (as I had read through all of the posts regarding your question).
SO, after reading the response directed to me by Roger = roglol1973, I was quite taken aback. It was quite obvious after reading your postings and profile, that you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about or how to spell for that matter, LMAO! I had no idea that you were apprised of such intimate details of my life and the comments you’ve made are certainly anything but Christian of you. Do you think God would have responded that way? According to your profile its God for you first and foremost, how can that be true when you sit in such harsh judgement of a complete stranger? Not to mention in the same said profile you state that you’re non-religious??????? I felt that politicalbeauty had outlined in her postings exactly what language her ex was speaking and from where she was speaking, it becomes clear what the ex’s intentions are if he’s unwilling to accept his son having a key but she’s supposed to compromise by allowing him into her home on a regular basis?
Just a little excerpt from your profile which may shed some light on YOUR issues, since you seem to have mine all figured out……
“I am eventually looking for a possible wife , sober , has faith in committment , and a positive self image . who believes in truth , honesty , and wants a life of serenity . She must want a loving relationship , and be smart as well as sapportive , with beliefs' that have depth and weight . She must be thankfull to God , Selfless , surrendering to Gods' will with humility . She must be looking for the good , and dependant only on God . Able to Evaluate herself to remain balanced and grounded . She must also be able to except change , by letting go and letting God . When I say these things , I really could say some pretty spiteful things about the women in my past and the experiences I have gone thrue , yet I put myself in those situations' . Forgive me if I have been out of place , or if I appear to be a little rough . Women Amaze me more and more each day . I finally figured out the fact that I know absolutely nothing , when it comes to women .”
I think you’ve hit the nail right on the head in your final sentence Roger, I would only add “when it comes to women and many other things”.
And you’re curious if I’m insane, LMAO!!! | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/16/2007 5:49:19 PM | | who cares if it boost his ego....it sounds like he really wants to do what he thinks is right for the child. Sounds like it boosts your ego to deny him | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/16/2007 6:10:46 PM | | sound like your being selfish and you need to listen to him as he seems to know how to raise his child. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/16/2007 8:51:51 PM | So, is it that my ego is boosted because I won't give him a key? or, is it that I feel that since he does not pay any bills here, is an ex, he shouldn't have one?
Again, I think it's really funny how "some" of you guy's stick together. lol Your quick to tell me to give him a key (some of you), but (regardless of a child) I don't see too many men eager to give out keys to their places... even if they are still in the relationship!
I gave him the option of getting in with giving the keys to my son. Shouldn't that be enough? Why does it mean that I have to be a bad mother because he doesn't have them on his ring?
He gets in, and to be honest, I don't owe him even that... It's a courtesy. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/17/2007 8:31:50 AM | to this women with emotional problems , first off , don't confuse christianity with being a hypocrit . You and your comments about me go agianst every belief you just mentioned . You and your oppinions are your oppinions , let them be your's and not mine . I will not own your hate , and closeminded views . I was merely telling the women that men , ( maybe her husband ) , make advances with the ex . If you dont like it with your self riteous views where everyone lives a "Christian" life . That is your problem . Sorry you feel that way , go beat another man today , becuase I am not the one .
Sincerely
The guy who mispells
Roger | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/17/2007 8:40:34 AM | And if you are the samantha women , I do apologise for my comments befor . I should not hold drinking agianst you . If you have a problem with that , I was wrong and I apologise .
Sincerely
Roger | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/17/2007 8:57:45 AM | Now ,
Getting back to the subject , and I would like to appologise for the distraction as well . I am only saying that we have choices okay . In every choice there are consequences to the decisions we make . Communication is important , IF , both parties are communicating honestly . I have been in a fellowship for quite a few 24 hours now , that deals with charachter defects , which is dishonest , self seeking and and selfish behaiviors . That is why I am telling you these things , becuase I know from experience what men do as a habbit . We like to dominate , control and manipulate . We do it two ways . We are either really mean , or really nice . If we cann't get what we want we either become meaner or nicer . And usually the show dosen't come off well . We do this becuase we feel inadequate about ourselves and we use the women , children and possessions' in our life to bolster egotism . Its called be egosintric with an inferiority complex . This happens allot . Be careful . | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/17/2007 11:15:54 AM | roglol1973,
who is samantha? why is she a hypocrite? etc... this thread is getting more and more confusing...lol
To the other guy (I forgot your screenname), my son does have the keys now. The reason that I asked if it were an ego boost in the first place is because, he (my son's father) was shutting down all of my ideas and was hell bent on just having my keys on his keyring.
Example: We "at least" had a cordial relationship up until now (I can't say that we liked each other or were friend's). Now that I have given the key to my son and not him, He's starting to be really ignorant towards me and treat me very disrespecfully. He has never done that before. I feel like he's offended that I didn't give them to him.
My feeling's: If he was just so concerned about my son not sitting in the car and looking to "just" be a good father, again, shouldn't it be enough that he and my son gets into the house? He is still tripping! he claims that my son may lose them or I may forget to send the keys to school with him on the days that he gets him. I say - let me forget first... than you have a good argument. But I haven't even been given the chance. He's worrying about problems that don't even exist at this point...
Thanks for all of your responses so far. they have really helped! | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/17/2007 11:31:05 AM | | my ex knows how to get into the house and if she needs to she knows its OK. we are partners in parenting | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/17/2007 12:29:38 PM | | If your not comfortable giving him a key, don't. Life would probably be A LOT eaiser if we just walked in to other peoples houses to watch tv, use the bathroom, etc... Unfortunatly for us, it doesn't work like that. He's just wants to steal your panties. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/17/2007 12:29:51 PM | | If your not comfortable giving him a key, don't. Life would probably be A LOT eaiser if we just walked in to other peoples houses to watch tv, use the bathroom, etc... Unfortunatly for us, it doesn't work like that. He just wants to steal your panties. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/17/2007 4:51:06 PM | Funny unabashed, but true...lol
Some people may have that arrangement (where the ex has the keys), and it's cool if it works for them. But does it mean that it has to be the case for everybody else?
We may not have the same trusts, or the same kind of personal relationship outside of having the child. Some people are still having sex with their ex's;although broken up, ETC...
Does it mean that we are not "partners" in parenting? No.
Does it mean that it'll work for me and my ex? No.
Does having a child with someone mean that you no longer have a right to privacy? No
If you choose to have that privacy, does it mean that you are a bad parent? Not!!! | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/19/2007 4:06:32 AM | Other options:
1) I personally keep a spare key hidden outside this house. If someone needs to get inside then they only have to call me on the mobile phone, and I can tell them where to find the key. The key gets put back in the same place (it's hidden in a shed). The spare key also means that I can't accidentally lock myself out.
That might be an option for you.
2) Of course, the ultimate solution is just to get ALL the locks on BOTH of your places set to match the one key. That would make for a nice, level playing field. One key fits all! ;-) | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/19/2007 8:41:25 AM | Other options:
1) I personally keep a spare key hidden outside this house. If someone needs to get inside then they only have to call me on the mobile phone, and I can tell them where to find the key. The key gets put back in the same place (it's hidden in a shed). The spare key also means that I can't accidentally lock myself out.
That might be an option for you.
2) Of course, the ultimate solution is just to get ALL the locks on BOTH of your places set to match the one key. That would make for a nice, level playing field. One key fits all! ;-) | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/19/2007 10:54:42 AM | before answering I would like to know more about the relationship of you and your ex.... I mean, you indicated that your not romantically interested in each other. So, are you's civil? Was there abuse in the relationship? Has he ever been abusive to anyone else?
The key thing may work in some relationships. It may the stupidest thing a girl can do in others. You know him better than most... Can you trust him?
Ego..... no.
Extra driving and time out of my life to accomodate your schedule may be a huge pain in the ass to him...... Baby sitter perhaps? 3rd party?
Just some thoughts? | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/19/2007 11:48:07 AM | To be honest this just sounds like it makes good sense. Also sounds like a win-win situation. He gets to spend time with his son, and you get home to a fed, bathed kid who has his homework done (plus you didnt have to pay for someone to watch him)
With all the deadbeat dads out there, I think you should consider yourself lucky that you have a guy willing to drive an hour away to care for his child on a regular basis.
The reason people were coming down on you is that you made yourself sound like an idiot... to even think of considering this situation an ego trip makes you look really immature and thoughtless.
Bottom line... if the guy is trustworthy (and it sounds like he is) give him a key and make everyone's life easier (yours, his, and your son's) If you think you can't trust him, give the key to your son. If you can't do either, then I suggest you help out with the driving so you can be in his shoes. | |
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