| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/19/2007 5:35:05 PM | Iron,
Apparently your the idiot... How did I make myself look like an idiot for simply asking a question out of curiosity? please help me understand that. Now, if you thought the question itself was a stupid one, O.K.; but me looking like an idiot for asking? Far fetched... You need to read this entire thread instead of skimming through it and determining something about me according to it. Me asking the "ego question", had much more to do with him just asking for the key... you would know that if you read...
Again, I never said that he wasn't a good father. I never said that it wasn't easier for him to wait at my place and in fact, I have stated the opposite... It takes more than someone being a good parent to have the keys to the place that me and my child sleeps at night and the place where I pay bills "alone". He put himself in this driving situation... did anyone read that? I am getting a little tired of explaining myself out here... If you all would just read what I write for what it is and not "assume" you would understand better. That takes maturity...
I refuse to go on and on about this. I have had enough responses and have taken them into consideration.
My son now has the keys on the days they need to get in; along with some other little arrangements. Thanks for your responses. They have really been helpful!  | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/19/2007 6:12:28 PM | | I don't see how it would boost his ego? It wouldn't mine...also why not just give your son the key? | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/19/2007 9:04:05 PM |
Apparently your the idiot...
Your means it belongs to you...
You're means "you are"
My initial suspicions are confirmed...
But that aside... I did read, and the initial message carried all the weight. Don't come to a public board looking for pats on the back, because sometimes you get a kick in the a*** instead. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/20/2007 8:44:30 AM | Now ironman, don't you think the whole "your" thing is just a little petty? Seriously? I could get petty and say that you should have typed a** and not "a***, but that would be reaching on my part as well.
Besides, an idiot is an ignorant or foolish person. Is it not foolish of you to make such trivial and unpractical corrections on my thread? not to mention childish... This is a forum, not a term paper. If you look at all the posts, there are some really clever and intellegent people who are typing short-hand, slang, misspelling words, ETC...; i am positive that I could find "dozens" of typos in "your" past responses to theses threads, but I won't go there. Grow up!
Again, all I asked was that you read the full thread before making a reply. Is that to much to ask? You can't possibly give a practical response to a question without all the facts (which were provided in this forum). It is obvious that you are a skimmer...
As far as the kick in the a$$, uh, I think I'll survive and sleep tonight.
Was what you gave considered to be a kick? I couldn't tell... | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/21/2007 4:55:45 PM | | Maybe I missed it in all the Posts but, how old is your child? I agree with the person who said...if you feel uncomfortable with your ex having a key...then give it to your son. His dad can pick him up..take him home and then go on his way.... or stay there and do as you say he does. It's all your decision. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/21/2007 5:08:29 PM | Got a key to my daughter’s moms place. I have it for emergency purposes or when I bring my daughter home and her mom is not there, I just hang with my daughter till she gets home….it’s cool, and my daughter really enjoys the time.
We have been friends for about 16 years... parents together for 10, so not a bad scene. So it's all about your relationship you have with him I suppose. But he's right; the stability your son would have would be great for him and relieve stress from you as well when you came home. It’s a win win for everyone
If your relationship is good I say do it, it's about your son, and his best interests. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/21/2007 8:31:03 PM | | Snowboard, I like the fact that you and your daughters mother are friends and that she trusts you. I do also believe that it is in the best interest of my son for them to be able to get in to my home. This is why (i'm saying this for the third time on this forum) I have given the key to my son. My son's father however, I am "not" friend's with at all! We are cordial for the sake of our son, but there is still a lot of bitterness there on his end. I don't care for him too much because of the bitterness that he possesses, but I tolerate him for my child. I would never (regardless of our lack of friendship) do anything to hinder the relationship that he has with his son! ever! Thanks for your input. | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 109 | |
| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/21/2007 8:47:43 PM | Actually, Snow said something that got missed here.......basically, the
way he interacts with his ex will have a positive influence in his daughters
well being. Children can pick up bitterness and mistrust and it WILL
get passed on to that child. It's why it's important to demonstrate
to our kids a united front rather than one that is divisive. People
have to learn to swallow their pride and start forgiving, if not for
themselves, for their child. Lip service gets you NOWHERE. Somebody
has got to take the first step but if we have stubbornness on both sides then
you might as well write off any chance at raising a balanced and functional
child. Nobody can deny that there will be some form of damage
done when we so much as raise our voices in front of our kids. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:30:08 PM | "Children can pick up bitterness and mistrust and it WILL get passed on to that child"
I only hope you guys are friendly with each other....that will ultimately make the difference, along with your son having the key and doing his home work with his dad and so on..........................just to add, when I explain my situation with my x to others they ask me how did we manage not to fight and be bitter with each other. Simply put, we decided and agreed for it not to be about us, we put "us" aside and make it all about our daughter and made parental promises to each other....but I am not saying it was easy at first...well worth it though.
I hope it all works out with you guys, and your son sees the good in what you two are doing together....how old is your son?
Best wishes... | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:30:09 PM |
I jokingly expressed to him that it would boost his ego if I did give it to him; especially since he is going home to another lady. He thought it was funny and told me that having my keys on his ring, and going home to his women wouldn't effect him none, because it's "just an arrengement". Should I believe this?
It's not an ego thing at all. It's saving time, effort, and money. It's about the fact that your son could be in the car for two hours 0r 20 minutes. I live 45 minutes away from my ex and our son. So I know what a pain it can be. Unless you have reason to think otherwise, it's not about you at all.
If you do think that it is then I think the extra lock is a great idea. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:33:13 PM | I think it's an ego boost for you,
your looking at this all wrong, give him a key and let him raise your son , sounds like he's doing a good job, you should take his advice.
or give him your house and go live somewhere else. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:27:44 PM | | I say, Kudos to the dad who picks his child up from school, offers to do homework and gets him somewhat ready for bedtime. I say, let him have a key and enjoy the fact that this father wants to be an important part of his child's life. If not giving it to dad, maybe attach a key (securely) to your son's backpack on the day he is supposed to be with dad. You say you don't want your ex to go through your things, put a lock on the rooms that you don't want him in, say the bedroom, closet or whatever. My ex could care less about spending time with his son. I applaud this man for taking the time to be with his child. I would do whatever I could to support this relationship between father and son, which in turns makes things easier for you on the days that your ex has him, i.e., you can leave work a couple of minutes early and go get a mani/pedi, your hair done or whatever. This could be something that you enjoy for yourself as well. If your new guy is the good guy you know him to be, he will support this arrangement as well and maybe he can find something for himself to do during these visits. There are so many positives here...good luck!!! | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/22/2007 9:29:24 AM | This is hands down the dumbest thread I have read on this site.
At first your question seemed totally legitimate, however as the posts kept racking up, you focused on only two things. 1. The people that suggested the answer you wanted to hear, 2. the people that struck a nerve with what they said.
You have this guy that runs around for you on god knows how many days a week picking up your son, driving him to his place to spend a meanial amount of time with him, then driving him back to your place. By the sounds of it, you say he just leaves right after. After reading most of your replies to people and the way you act with your responces, i'd leave right as soon as you got home too, just so I wouldn't have to listen to you flap from the mouth. Then he gets the luxury of driving back home again for another hour.
Your ex wastes 4 hours in commuting per day just to accomidate your ass, you say you can't even go pick him up cause it wastes your own time. Here's what you need to take into consideration before thinking giving him a key is an ego boost.
You say it costs about $200 a week to park near your work. I'm sure all teh driving is costing him at least half that just to accomidate for you. Do you give him anything for all this money/time he's flushing down the drain to accomidate you? Or do you just use teh excuse that "at least he's getting to see his son". Furthermore you of all people should be greatful that daddy is still in the picture. How many broken families are out there where the father doesn't give a shit about the mother and her kids. He is doing you a favour, and you show little apprication for that and most women in your position would give great apprication for that.
Also, there were so many good ideas from people that were trying to assist you with this issue, and from what I could see, you ignored about 85-90% of them, just to argue with someone on the thread. I thought this was orginally to ask for advice, not to vent your frustrations on a feew people that obviously have their eyes open and can see how ungreatful and lazy you really are.
Finally, as mentioned before, where's the current b/f, you know the one you appraently have, yet your profile distinctly says you're single. I also love the touch where it says under Do you want children, you put: Does not want children. Cause obviously you see the one you currently have to be a burden to your daily life, if you felt otherwise, you'd drive your ass out there to pick him up, and you'd take the time to meet your ex halfway and make both your lives less miserable.
You once mentioned that you two split in a sour situation, it doesn't surprise me after seeing the way to act to trivial questions asked to you by people on this thread. By the way, you're 32 years old, some acting like some dramatic teenager and be the mature mother you're supposed to be. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/22/2007 9:31:04 AM |
Your means it belongs to you...
You're means "you are"
and her profession on her profile says: Profession Sub-Teacher/ Hairstylist
what class do you sub for? I hope it's not english.  | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/22/2007 9:37:32 AM | boost his ego? I dont see how that would boost his ego at all. "Dude! Check out this key this broad gave me! Im the man!"
Come on.  | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/22/2007 8:01:08 PM | Element,
Uh, before you go co-signing on what someone else said about my spelling (which by the way was very childish) you could really use the spell-check yourself! lol
You are the first person to write a "whole book" on the dumbest thread you ever read...
Again, this is a public forum for entertainment purposes only. If I have a question that anyone out here feels is stupid, simple; don't answer it. especially with 20 paragraphs...
There are literally thousand's of other threads you could respond to out here.
This thread (as usual) has been blown up!
Why attack someone's character? because they asked a question that you don't like? because they mispelled a word? you guy's are crazy!
Again, I got all of the answers and suggestions that I was looking for.
I don't know of anyone who comes out here "looking" to be attacked so ofcourse i'm gonna react... give me a break!
Like I said, my son has the key and his father and I (as I have stated SEVERAL TIMES) get along for the sake of our son but are not personally close.
I love it how there are so many broken homes in america, yet, ALL THE MEN OUT HERE SEEM TO BE "PERFECT" MEN AND MORALLY UPSTANDING DAD'S! AWWWWW HOW SWEET!!  | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/23/2007 7:56:55 AM | First of all... your thread is titled "Guys, would this boost your ego?" Which I called you stupid for even mentioning (which I stick to) you moan that we didnt read the entire thread.
MOST of this thread is people giving good advice and ignoring your obvious stupidity for the sake of being polite.
Secondly, You're vs Your is NOT a spelling mistake, its a grammar issue.
Let's all hope that all you are allowed to do as a, "sub-teacher" is to pass out milk and graham crackers to the kindergarden class. You are irritable, immature, and not that bright from what I see here. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/23/2007 8:59:55 AM | Right iron. Because I said your instead of "you're", and my opinion does not coincide with yours, I am not a bright person? wow. Talk about extreme...
Yes I am a substitute teacher, but does it mean that I am not capable of making mistakes? That I have to say and spell and do everything perfectly at all times? Wow.
These people were not polite to me out here simply because they were ignoring my "stupidity". They were just "mature individuals" who saw this for what it was; a forum with a simple question that needed a simple answer or solution... Period!
Not a breeding ground for judgement, name calling, false assumptions and childishness. I think that its really uncalled for. Again, anyone that feels so low of me and my question or thought process, there are literally thousands of other threads to entertain you. Don't waste your time on little 'ole' me. As a matter of fact, I would question a person with time to keep focusing on issues that he considers trivial before I looked at the OP who brought it up...
See how people like you with adult A.D.D can't stay on the topic? Once again, some of you guys really need to grow up! (Oops, did I just give in to your childishness?)
Just another stupid thought of mine... | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:06:16 AM | Hello ,
Samantha was one of the women who was on here befor and she began to harrase me about a comment I made . I apologised to her and then I apologised to you and everyone on here for the cross talk . I wanted to add too , that If I was the one who made the comment that upset you I am agian sorry . I have read the thread from the beginning and I commented also from the beginning . It seems to me that you have a good question , yet it raised allot more questions as well . Why would it boost ego , do you want that , are you wanting to have a fantasy rondavou with your ex and your mind is playing tricks on you about these keys . Be honest . I was talking about how he was maybe wanting that , yet its starting to feel as though it is you trying to convince yourself to do that . If you are think it thrue , is he married agian or seeing someone else , if so , would you want someone doing that to you . If not do it if you want to . | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/24/2007 3:52:31 PM | OMG, WHERE IN THE HELL IS THIS THREAD GOING NOW.....????
STUPID ALSO MEANS. "The term can thus also refer to poor use of judgment, or insensitivity to nuances in a person who is otherwise intelligent"
Gee, wonder if anyone here is guilty of this as well…maybe those who are calling the OP stupid may fit in this catigory.....ya think!
BUT WHO IS TO SAY ONE IS SMARTER THAN THE OTHER….text book smart does not mean your life smart and vise versa…..wholly crap folks, can we stay focused here…gesh.
I hope things go well with your son. .. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/24/2007 6:48:30 PM | Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks skateboardmtbikeguy...Oops, did I spell your screen name correctly?lol
That is the exact point that I was trying to make. Its good to see that you are not stricken with adult A.D.D and can stay on topic...lol
My son is great! Things worked out for all. I gave him the keys. He lets him and his father in, and we have boundaries set as far as rooms that he (my sons father) frequents... I took some good ideas from these people out here; including you! Thanks | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/24/2007 6:57:57 PM | I got bored reading this thread at about the second page. Not sure why its this long but here is my answer.
NO, it would not boost my ego, in fact as the kids father I would give the kid the key or give to one of your neigbors because I wouldn't want it. This way you can't accuse me of doing things I wasn't doing. and I would move closer to him so he could stay at my house until your off work. | |
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/24/2007 8:19:12 PM | This is definitely complicated.
I think it's possible he would get an ego boost out of it, but I think there is something greater at stake here.
I get the feeling that the ex's new woman picked a place an hour away for a reason.
The real key here is compromise. If he stays away from her longer, any plan she had has backfired. Yet you have your ex in your home, who you would rather not have there. You shouldn't be inconvenienced because she convinced him to move further away..He seems to understand and appreciate this.
I like these suggestions
*Get him to take your son somewhere after school on different days...like the library or somewhere.
*Third lock, with lock on bedroom door. Get a spy cam if your into it...lol
*Keep a spare key out, so he has to call you to find it. Of course not for the third lock. Of course you can only have so many hiding spots. He might catch on and think your playing games...
You could use different solutions in dfferent ways. I don't blame you for not wanting him there. But I'm sure your son appreciates it.
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| Guys, would this boost your ego?
Posted: 3/25/2007 4:08:23 AM | | I also think this is a very touchy deal... Witha key to your home he has access to everything about you and what you leave around....There is also the small chance that if something does happen with him he has access to you your home and your child at any time with unspoken permission... the key would represent that. Its nice that he has made the offer and effort to do all these things for you and the child you share together but WOW your home is the place you should feel safest and that locked door is your safty barrier. No other options available? | |
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