| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/19/2005 9:27:30 AM | I haven't ever come across a woman who wasn't flakey
Darn, poor you. Not all women are flakey.
Maybe you should change where you are meeting these woman, if all you are meeting is flakey ones. | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/20/2005 12:55:06 PM | Shespinsmeround:
See if you can follow the thread of logic here, as I think this might be happening in your case. At least it's another opinion.
In the beginning of a relationship, which I am assuming is taking place here because you mention, "I keep having to end relationships because of flakeyness," and it's stated in a manner that indicates something that is continually and presently taking place - hence, several quick beginnings and endings with flaky women tells me all are in the premature stage.
If that is the case, my guess is that you may be giving off signals that you are "there" for her 100% which is premature. Especially if YOU are, in your mind, labeling it "relationship" and it's not to that point yet. (just guessing here). Regardless of whether you are there 100% or not emtionally doesn't really matter - it's her perception that makes up the realities of what's happening in her mind.
Follow me: If she is appropriately unsure about "relationship" - ambivalent (say at 50%) about whether she wants a relationship with you, which is quite normal since she doesn't REALLY know you yet (and women take longer than men to make up their minds in these areas), then you put her in a dilemma:
If you are a "given" in her mind and she doesn't know if she is really ready for a relationship, then the focus shifts from simply enjoying and continuing to get to know you to "We keep getting into this deeper and deeper and I'm not sure if I want this yet. Do I continue when I'm not sure, as that's leading him on and I don't want to hurt him." Most of the time, this forces the person to a decision to bail.
If she likes you a lot, however, she may not bail. However, this pressure still remains as the central focus, rather than just naturally continuing to get to know each other. It is a pressure no one likes. If she doesn't bail, then she will back off and do "flakey" things to create emotional space.
That's what seems to be happening here. The clue is that there is a pattern and eventually it just can't be all the women who are at fault. It is you. Not some clinical problem. Just keep your emotional distance and do so with reality checks: Ask yourself why you are so into someone when you barely know them.
Finally, look at the players. They're called players for a reason: they win girls - lots of them. How do they do it? They emotions are always divided between several girls and the girls are given the emotional space to long for them and longing feels like passion. The girls know they're players but can't help themselves because the fantasy and space all work together in the players favor.
Now, I'm not saying become a player, but just that girls like players because of the mystery, the emotional space, etc. You, on the other hand, are doing just the opposite. No mystery. No emotional space. Pressure.
I'm assuming a lot here. But, check yourself, as it might not really be flaky women, but just how YOU are participating in the dynamics of the what is not yet become a relationship. | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/20/2005 5:02:58 PM | It's a woman thing. They change their mind about you from one minute to the next. They're so bloody complicated even women don't understand women.
On this site too. You wouldn't believe how many times I've gotten a response from someone saying they're interested in talking to me and so I respond back and then they never reply back again.
No wonder some guys give up on women completely. | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/20/2005 5:12:06 PM |
No wonder some guys give up on women completely.
*raises hand*
A life of celibacy is almost more appealing to me now....
I have a theory, and thus far, it's held true, if anyone is interested, e-mail me, I'd be happy to explain.
Aside from that, If you do decide to give up on love, never give up on loving.....  | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/20/2005 11:35:40 PM | Dude, Are you saying you have never done any of these things? Ever? It isn't just women that are flakey, its men too. Basically people in general are flaky. Just spend a month working in retail and you'll get a whole new perspective on just how flaky people are.
Learn to chill out guy. Be a little more forgiving or you are going to end up ALONE....Sure women are flaky but that's the price men pay for boobs and ****...I think it goes back to the Genesis curse or something.... | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/24/2005 6:59:31 PM | Ok Listen up guys.
Women are flaky only because of 2 things!!
Are you listening?
1) They are NOT interested.
2) They're TESTING you.
Try this.
Next time your going on a date. Call her like five minutes before and tell her that around corner from the place we were supposed to meet was a big accident and all roads are blocked.
Then walk into the place.
Women are always testing us guys. Do not be afraid. | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/25/2005 8:06:46 AM | WELL THATS STRANGE, I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT ABOUT GUYS THAT WAY..
THEY ALWAYS SKIP/IGNORE U..
THEY TAKE AGES TO REPLY..
THEY ALWAYS WANT TO JUMP INTO BED(I MEAN MSN/YAHOO MSNGRS HEHE )
THEY ALWAYS ASK FOR PHOTOS AND CAMS
WHENEVER U GET SERIOUS WITH THEM OR START TELLING THEM ABOUT UR FEELINGS AND
PERSONAL STUFF THEY JUST GET BORED AND RUN AWAY.
ITS NOT LIKE I TELL THEM MY LIFE STORY OR BORE THEM TO TEARS WITH DRAMA
IT'S JUST THAT GUYS - LIKE WHAT? 90% OF THEM? - R SO SHALLOW , FLAKEY AND
H*O*R*N*Y ALL THE TIME.
I'M SORRY, BUT THIS IS THE AWFUL TRUTH..
MENS HEARTS ARE BETWEEN THEIR LEGS I GUESS.
I WISH A FIND A SERIOUS LOVING GUY..
UGH..IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?
NOWADAYS, I GUESS YES..THATS WAY TOO MUCH. | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/25/2005 9:55:50 AM | While I don't advise anyone to get into the sorts of tests/"mind-games" mentioned, I do agree with rowdycowboy's main points.
(1) If a person (lady or gent) keeps for getting to turn-up, says she/he will write but doesn't, promises to phone/SMS but never does, etc., then they're (a) no interested and (b) extraordinarily rude.
You're better-off without them wasting your time...find someone honest next time around.
(2) If they're resorting to inane tests like that, then they're not being genuine. You're better-off without them wasting your time...find someone who's got decent communication skills.
Maybe they're avoiding you and don't consider you worthy of an explanation. Maybe they're too gutlless to turn you down and tell it to your face. "Ignore it and it will go away" works on people as well as everyday problems but it's not fun to be on the recieving end. :(
I know that sounds harsh, but there's a _big_ difference between slipping-up occasionally (eg: turning-up late, being a bit disorganised or forgetful) and doing it time and time again.
Some people tolerate flakiness and for others it's a big issue. If it's something you've tried talking about with your partner and the problem persists, then it looks like you're not a good match.
HTH | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/25/2005 10:03:47 AM | Cotton
I promise I wont ignore you, or take ages to reply to you, or jump into bed with you, ( the floor will do), dont need photos if u r beside me, i wont get bored when u get serious, (older guys know how to fake the Im interested look WAY better), Im NOT horny ALL the time, ( I sleep for 3-4 hours a night), my heart is actually in my CHEST, my BRAINS are between my legs
...and havent you been reading these forums....all these guys on here complaining about girls who blow them off because we treat women too well? You women want NICE guys? You want to be treated right? Then reward the guys who ARE with the "goods".
LOVE and SEX is supply and demand 101. The lousy guys are confident, and hot, and sexy so you girls give them the goods. DONT DENY IT. Nice guys get the tears and the friendship. YES! Stop rewarding the bad guys and see what happens universally to men's manners.
THINK LADIES....YOU control the world, but you dont know it! Women in general, and any woman specifically can get ANY thing she wants, exactly what, and how she whats, because she controls the most sought after commodity in the world...except gas....cant run my truck on coochie
Sam out  | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/25/2005 3:57:40 PM |
LOL women can always blame hormones, what excuse can men come up with?
We forgot to read the instructions? | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 5/5/2005 12:06:30 PM | maybe they are? maybe some are!And some men are like that too (just keep this well balanced) but some are kool at strong communication skills and interpersonal skills. I think its up to u what u find whats acceptable or not? (accept the things u cannot change but the wisdom to know the difference... thing) payce!  | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 5/6/2005 9:25:48 AM | | LOL flakiness is not just a woman thing...it's a people thing. I have already wasted a month of my life on a flakey guy, so don't think it's just women that are like that shespinsmearound. Maybe you are going after the wrong women? | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/5/2007 4:50:33 PM | | only thing that should be flakey is pie crust. Yeah a lot of the younger women are flakey. My response to that is to either do the same, make plans and try to flake on them before they flake (revenge is sweet), or just move on. They really aren't worth the trouble. | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/5/2007 5:33:07 PM | | OP, it sounds like a major over-generalization and perhaps the fact that you are attracting flakey women. I have met some flakey women, but I have met plenty who are not. | |
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cinder
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Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 46 | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/5/2007 6:14:34 PM | HI,
If you think women are flaky, well men are flaky too. so arent we in the same boat?
I am being real and for most of them are not. Most of them cant fish me out of the water.  HAPPY EASTER TO ALL | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/5/2007 6:15:51 PM | It is not gender related. It is just some of the people are that way.
Look at it this way they have quickly eliminated themselves from consideration for you. Just saved you some time. | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/5/2007 6:22:05 PM | | actually it sounds just like some men i've known. men are VERY bad with phones. they never seem to call when they tell you they will. some just chicken out i think, not sure what the big deal is with a phone. i mean i'm not a monster, i won't eat them up or bite them, lol. some people are just unreliable. you could be coming across a lot of unreliable women. i've met both men and women who are extremely unreliable and i cannot stand that particular trait, drives me nuts. i think it's very inconsiderate and selfish and unfortunately many people are this way in today's world. only care about themselves, me, me, me. some of them actually think the world revolves around them. | |
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| Why are most women so flakey?
Posted: 4/5/2007 6:23:43 PM | | yes well i've had men send me flirts or nice emails and when i reply, they disappear, never to be heard from again so it's not only women who do this. or sometimes they will email me 3 weeks later!! where the hell were they all that time?? | |
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