| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/27/2007 8:51:17 PM | Never lower your standards and don't settle for anything less than what you want from this life.
Dreams do come true ! | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/27/2007 9:07:46 PM | | ok ... i agree so why is it that when men read my profile and they aren't at all what i'm looking for they still e-mail me? Theres guys in this world who arn't attracted to me and therefore i believe they shouldn't settle for me ... i honestly believe that there isn't a person in this world who shouldn't have anything but everything they want in a person | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 1:42:33 AM | We can applaud Shallow Hal here all we want for "not settling," but it still ticks me off to see somebody so hung up on what a woman looks like, then criticizing them for treating him the same way. So some women just aren't "good enough" for him...that's not having high standards, it's called being conceited.
And Shallow Hal, I don't have to talk to you to know that. I saw what you wrote, and that's enough. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 2:07:51 PM | I agree with cruzt on the hypocritical aspect of her view and IMO I don't think the OP is being conceited, I think he just needs to re-evaluate the type of relationship he wants to find to get perspective on what it would take to get to where he wants to be.
It's hard these days to think outside the box, with the media pumping sex and ideals of how a woman should look into your subconscious. Sexuality is everywhere you turn and most of its used in propaganda. I think the average woman is getting better and better looking everyday... maybe as a result of men being more selective about the looks of their mate...who knows. Maybe someday everyone will just be gorgeous right!!
HA HA then who would we make fun of? I'm jk.
One thing I realize is that ... I don't want a perfect looking girlfriend I really don't. If I happen to meet one though and she digs me, I might give it go depending on her personality. I find the hotter ones just give you more of a hassle because they "Have what you want" or think they do. Dude needs to decide for himself if he wants to keep chasing shadows or compromise and get a relationship going with someone he can grow on.  | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 2:25:30 PM | Ya, it’s going on a date with a man who appears to have his life in order, has character and integrity yet may not look like a very handsome man. Then having him turn you down because you don’t look like a “Barbie” as you would call it because anything less than perfection physically is settling.
Holy smokes……… you hit the nail on the head!
Think about what you just said. In other words, everyone out there is looking for anything but the person who will like them just the way they are! Sad really, that so much is placed on all the things that carry very little value when you love someone.
If I hear the word settle again, I’m going to lose my lunch. Everyone has worth and value and to deem anyone as “settled for” is extremely insulting. Find someone you’re attracted to and leave it open for all categories of women……you may have some luck! | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 2:39:03 PM | I agree with Brash n sassy,
I've basically been told (or it's been strongly alluded to), by men in their 50's and 60's why I need to "settle" for them 'cause I'm not going to get any guy my age because they're all looking for 20 and 30 somethings. Sorry, but I bring way too much to the table to settle and as long as 26 year olds are still approaching me when I go out, I'm not too worried! Ha! ;) Plus I realize that not all men my age are so shallow and insecure.
However, I agree with some of the other posters who point out your double standard. As long as you're judging women on their looks and holding out for a hottie, you can't blame them for doing the same. Lots of men look at the picture, nothing else, and hit delete. If women, are doing the same, can you blame them? And who wants to be with someone who's judging you strictly on looks anyway; not me! You seem to have a little age hangup as well from the way you mentioned considering older women (are you talking much older or just older, in general?) A woman 5 years older than you is much more likely to be a good match than one 10-15 years younger (of course, that would be a bit too young for your age! ha!) Anyway, I'm surprised you mentioned that at all; I'd assume any person serious about finding a real relationship is looking at least 5 years younger AND older! I also got chided for using the "out of their league" phrase but some of us fish in waters where the odds aren't so good and it applies. That's fine if you can take it, and being alone truly is better if you can't be with Ms Perfect (or Almost Perfect). I want someone to whom I'm physically attracted as well but I've got enough experience to have learned that physical attraction is greatly enhanced by other factors in true "quality" people and I think looks alone is a very shallow reason to dismiss people you haven't even bothered to get to know. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 2:41:45 PM | Well I'd rather be alone than date someone I wasn't physically attracted to. But it's not ok for those women not to be attracted to or to stereotype you? Whiner. Get over it. Good thing you would rather be alone.
This is sheer genius:
By holding out for the model of perfection you waste valuable lifespan frustrating yourself needlessly, and then before you know it you have only stories of how, by gum, you stuck to your shopping list and no women were good enough for you, which is another way of saying you weren't good enough for the ones you wanted. Ask yourself and answer honestly, are you hypercritical?
A lot of people who say they won't settle, live and die alone. Trust me, even supermodels have husbands that cheat on them. Attraction is immediate, that is not love... that is lust. What happens then if your supermodel gets a bit chunky and old, will you stop loving her when she is less than perfection?
If you have never had the experience of falling in love with someone because of who they are rather than what they look like, I feel badly for you. That is real love, the kind that lasts. That is not settling. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 2:49:10 PM | My belief is that for a relationship to truly work the way it should, neither the man nor the woman can be in it because they "settled" for the other person. In other words, the woman has to make the man want to be a better man in order to keep her, and the woman has to want to be a better woman in order to keep him.
This challenges both partners to keep bettering themselves instead of letting themselves go and there will never be infidelity in the relationship.
So never settle, no matter who you are, and always strive to be better. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 2:49:59 PM | hahaha give your heads a shake guys. If you are not up to par in your image/looks? Forget getting a "hot babe"
Women never have to settle, only if they want. Most men will have to settle. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 3:01:17 PM | "Women never have to settle, only if they want. Most men will have to settle."
Not true. Women have more options for sex, but not for relationships.
And yes, the OP is being very hypocritical... | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 3:06:08 PM | ^^^So wrong buddy. Women hold all the power in dating now. The rules are made by them and we have to play along.
We may pic and choose who we like and who we want to approach, who we would like to have sex with. Women hold the power of picking and choosing who they want to say yes to for all that. Sorry they never have to settle for anything, we do no matter what. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 4:04:36 PM | Ty,
You offer a very interesting conundrum in the dating world. What if there is a real hottie girl who's not at all attracted to the Brad Pitt type? What do you do with THAT? True attraction and compatibility cannot be configured by rules or mathematical computations. It's part chemical and part emotional. And you definately shouldn't just settle. Not every hot chick wants some muscle-bound dude.... women want quality, and if you have something real to offer, a good woman will pick up on that, and respond to it. Trust me.
Regards and Good luck. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 4:35:19 PM | | So what you're really saying is you're tired of the fat ugly chicks hitting on you?? | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 4:52:17 PM | Champ - Wow, you give your own gender so little credit! Although I do agree for the most part that women make the rules, the very idea of a man HAVING to settle is ridiculous.
Every person must weigh their desire to be in a relationship against their desire to find their perfect partner. Are you saying that men, in general, have lower standards than women or that they have a greater desire to be in a relationship? | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 5:02:45 PM | Let's see, women encounter so many men who just want to get in their pants. Says alot for our gender huh? That in turn makes it harder for the guys who are genuine to show the women that they are not like that. Most women call that an act. And blow the guys off thinking we are all the same. Which for the most part, the majority of us are it seems in their eyes.
At one time women relied on us. Now they no longer have to and in turn make their own rules up for dating and now men have to follow them.
Women will hold out for the perfect guy as long as it takes. Men? Most times will know at some point they are not going to find that perfect woman and get her and so they settle. Or some say screw it and give up and stay single.
See most times women can figure out what a guy is all about from talking to him for 5 minutes, BUT what many do wrong is now judge by words typed in messages. Two different things that many think are the same now. So women get screwed around again by guys talking shit to them online.
Women can and do set their standards higher as they get older, their demands are greater than when they were younger and many will say there is a shortage of good men out there.
We men have to face it, women hold the trump cards in the game of dating, and we have to play it by their rules. We can all say ya right, but unless you got a bunch of women approaching you, asking you out, spending their money on you, picking you up all the time and falling at your feet...then sorry women have the power and they all know it...most just do not want to admit it because that would tarnish the image of women...denying it makes men look stupid and typical, something we have been called for centuries. Traditions will stay in tact and so will labels. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 5:14:14 PM |
If I hear the word settle again, I’m going to lose my lunch.
I'm with you, Psssst.
Thanks for the backup, those of you who provided it. I appreciate that. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 5:18:15 PM | "Women will hold out for the perfect guy as long as it takes. Men? Most times will know at some point they are not going to find that perfect woman and get her and so they settle."
So that answers my question. You are saying that men want relationships more AND have lower standards. Any women care to chime in on that one? LOL! | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 5:46:31 PM |
We men have to face it, women hold the trump cards in the game of dating, and we have to play it by their rules. We can all say ya right, but unless you got a bunch of women approaching you, asking you out, spending their money on you, picking you up all the time and falling at your feet...then sorry women have the power and they all know it...
Geez, Champ, you sound so utterly resigned to having absolutely NO CONTROL over your social/love life. Women have all the power...so when was the last time YOU dated a woman who approached you first, if you felt no attraction to her?
You sound so DAMN defeated, and I have a feeling it was a case of SELF defeated.
What is WITH you and this whiny shit lately??
Don't be in a rush to answer because I'm going out now...
Cindy O | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 5:48:22 PM | Why does the OP assume that every woman wants a pretty boy? My perfect man does not have to be pretty - but he does have to be confident, self-assured and sensitive to the needs of others. I have dated pretty boys and I have dated very plain, very ordinary men. Some have even been considered unhandsome. What made them attractive was that air of quiet confidence in who they were. It made them much more desirable to me than physical prettiness.
Mayb e the OP will figure out that attractive is not the same as pretty. Anyone can appear to be pretty, but that, in itself, does not necessarily make that person attractive. I have seen some downright beautiful looking people that were very unattractive. Perhaps the OP needs to change his perspective just a bit. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 6:59:00 PM |
Geez, Champ, you sound so utterly resigned to having absolutely NO CONTROL over your social/love life. Women have all the power...so when was the last time YOU dated a woman who approached you first, if you felt no attraction to her?
Women approaching men is a rarity and never once has happened to me...still waiting.
All the women I dated, in my 20's and I have only dated once in my 30's, lasted 3 months, and I approached her, she never approached me.
Not once have I experienced what it is like to be approached by a woman. We men are expected to do the approaching no?
I am not self defeated seems we are to always be all upbeat and bs everyone? Ok so why are we all on a dating site again? Ahh yes because we are all single?
Sure we all have control over our social/lovelife but women make the final decision if they want to talk to you, date you, have sex with you. Men do not make that decision.
So yes women hold all the power. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 7:10:53 PM | ^^^So wrong buddy. Women hold all the power in dating now. The rules are made by them and we have to play along.
We may pic and choose who we like and who we want to approach, who we would like to have sex with. Women hold the power of picking and choosing who they want to say yes to for all that. Sorry they never have to settle for anything, we do no matter what.
I haven't made a dating rule in my life in 20 years. I would just rather get along and not expect that someone do it my way and only my way. What fun is there in that? And, you do have a point ~ I refused to settle. Guess what happened ~ I finally found someone who was so right for me, settling wasn't needed. Guess it's good to keep the faith rather than give up.
~OP~ Personally, the fact that you are referring to woman as "Barbie Doll" types is a good portion of your problem. Did it ever occur to you that it's not your appearance that is off-putting, rather your demeanor? First, if you are referring to women above-average in appearance, fine ~ but your post #1 insinuates that you indeed, don't give a crap about the inside of the woman. If that is the case, you should be rolling in dates. A woman with little to no intelligence, no substance, no character will date anyone, regardless of their appearance simply to add another to their list of "who can I call when nothing better is available." If you want a woman for an LTR that indeed has substance, figure out what you offer to that relationship. Then, look for a person who may fit closely to that ideology. Otherwise, continue looking for Barbie. You'll most likely get old and end up with a Jenna Jamison bobble-head ~ but at least you'll know you were true to your wants.  | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 7:26:51 PM | ^^^hee, hee. 
I noticed OP's priority list:
I just want a woman who is attarctive, has a decent body, and is a good person
Well, let's break that down.
Priority one: Attractive (misspelled, by the way.) That's looks, coming in first place.
Priority two: Has a decent body. Looks wins the silver medal as well as the gold.
Priority three: Is a good person. Finally third we get to personality.
A woman can have everything going for her in the brains, talent, and personality portions of the contest, but if she's not a looker, OP won't "settle" for her. (Oops. Sorry, Psssst.) But when women judge OP on looks, they're stereotyping him.
What's wrong with this picture? | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 7:30:34 PM |
But when women judge OP on looks, they're stereotyping him.
What's wrong with this picture?
See I agree, women should be doing this more often.
Hey look VeryGreen the perfect woman who loves to make snide remarks about others. Hey someday I will be just as good as you. And no I am not insulting you..but feel free Green to insult me more...you are very good at it. I think you are an azming person who is always right. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/28/2007 7:32:33 PM | | OP, I understand totally where you are coming from. I'm also slender, and wear glasses. not the big burly type. I'm not a "nerd" however I hate sports, I don't workout and I don't like fixing things. | |
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