| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 6:49:16 AM | "Rejection is 99% your own fault and 1% the other person's fault."
I TOTALLY don't believe this. If someone rejects you, 9 times out of 10 it isn't even personal! If someone just doesn't feel like they are clicking with you, it's NO ONE'S fault, it's a matter of personal preference!
Comfort level is a HUGE aspect in dating, and most importantly, approaching an individual. If you are giving off a negative vibe, you won't be approached, and you won't date much either. I LOVE guys who take the initiative as much as I do. It makes me feel WANTED. I can understand your POV. I also love guys that are easy-going, confident, and have a great sense of humor. Those three things are sexy as hell.
IMHO | |
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JustRo
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Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 77 | |
| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:15:29 AM | | You betcha... I was told i'm too picky... but I would rather be alone then to be with someone I don't feel it will work. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:21:02 AM | | not true, ok, SOME chicks do go for looks, ab,s account balance. but no.....hold out for what you feel you deserve. but be comfortable maybe being alone to, are you? | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:39:20 AM |
That just because I'm slender, wear glasses, and I'm not a macho hunk that women expect me to just settle when I'm not attracted to them. They tell me not to go for the Barbie doll types because I'll just be hurt . . . So just because we don't look like models doesn't mean we should settle for less when we know it won't work.
Sorry, dude, but that's a lot of hypocritical bunkem. You go for pretty women because you don't want the ugly or fat ones, yet you want those pretty women to look past your physicalities.
Those Barbie dolls are not settling for you because they know it won't work. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:47:45 AM | the illusion of even the finest women will go away after u have slept w her a zillion times anyway
how can a man expect to get perfection if he is so far away from perfect--- men like that need a woman who is perfect even though they arent -how can they have expectations that are so even high a model can only meet it temporarily-- i blame society for the high stardards it puts on women w no expectation from men- society and porn---u must have a HUGE ego---its sad--- | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:04:32 AM | | those barbie dolls arent settling cause they dont have to! looks get a partner, not keep them. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:59:06 AM |
That just because I'm slender, wear glasses, and I'm not a macho hunk that women expect me to just settle when I'm not attracted to them. They tell me not to go for the Barbie doll types because I'll just be hurt and I've been hurt a lot by that category.
LOL women know how women think usually, and it usually takes one to know one stereotypical heartbreaker hah
Well I'd rather be alone than date someone I wasn't physically attracted to.
Of course.
It pays to be picky because after a while the right one will come along and I'll be glad I didn't settle out of desperation.
EXACULLY!
So just because we don't look like models doesn't mean we should settle for less when we know it won't work.
the media, hollywood, music industry, and Cosmo mags have invented this fantasy that there is some visible rank to a persons worth, and that some are deserving of others, more than others. This is a fantasy world created by a superficial demographic that pollutes and taints the minds of those suseptible.
Its time to break free tell the world to go fu.ck itself, and dont sell yourself short on any means. Its in the eye of the beholder bro.
Has anybody else had this stereotyping happen with you?? Please share your thoughts on this subject...
I personally beleive that anyone wanting you to take a step down from your standards is a psychological victory over you, in other words, they are misreble inside, and misery does infact love company. If you compromised on something at their reccomendation, then they would most likely feel better about themselves.
you need to be your own self, dont be afraid to stand against the entire world in opposition...while you are "unique"(just like everyone else) do not be a replica, of a clone. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 2:59:25 PM | Ugly Tyger
U place chicks in a stereotype
if they r not pretty then they r worth nothing
i doubt a pretty girl has ever even looked ur way
get over urself
PIG | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 4:46:56 PM | Funny thing is, women are nowadays just as bad as men have been for years.
Women are wanting those guys that their bible Cosmopolitan says are the right men to have. Always the hot looking guys. But as women say, alot of what these colimnists write is true. Yet it is called creative writing is all.
I read those rag mags for a chuckle to see the crap they fill women's heads with. But man so many women believe what is written in them and then watch these reality shows and think yes that is the kind of man to have.
Men get bashed all the time and will forever. We are called shallow for looking at an attractive woman, but women are allowed to look at a hot bod guy who has his shirt off and looks fine.
Double standards will always be in place and will always be sided for women to be the exception for her actions. As women will always blame men for what she does wrong, saying "Well if he had not...." and society will always place blame on us.
And with media and entertainment being what most people follow and seem to live vicariously through, ever notice how men are always portrayed as usless asses?
The wife drives up in her car, sees the husband getting the leaves out of the trough with the blower, the kids are running around making a mess of the yard with the dog, she drives away and comes back. Or the wife is going to be late from work so the husband has to make dinner with the kids and has this "I am lost" look on his face.
Only time men are portrayed as decent and useful is when they are old and retired. Like when the wife is coming up the stairs and the husband throws in the Uncle Ben's and has it all ready for when she comes in the door.
And women do follow these stereotypes of men. Pretty sad. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 4:57:29 PM | | Champ, what is your damn story? What planet do you come from? I have never wanted or needed to read Cosmo in my life. All I've ever wanted was a partner in my life. Someone to share life with. That simple. I think the guys portrayed on the covers of Men's Health aren't the most attractive men on earth. I don't like pretty boys. I like men of character and quality.... and it transfers over into their appearance. You can't just ask me what my type of guy is......... because it really depends on his mindset - what kind of guy he really his and how he shows himself to the world. I'M not looking for a supermodel guy (most of them are gay, anyway) or someone super ripped! I also don't go out trying to find guys I can change or "make better". I take a guy at face value. Perhaps you should do that with the women you meet on this site instead of clouding your judgement with past negative encounters. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 5:40:41 PM | Wow angelheart74
You are def an angel and a hard to find breed. That was a good encouraging thread post that you replied!
wish there where more here like you
Joe | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 6:33:25 PM |
Funny thing is, women are nowadays just as bad as men have been for years.
Women are wanting those guys that their bible Cosmopolitan says are the right men to have. Always the hot looking guys. But as women say, alot of what these colimnists write is true. Yet it is called creative writing is all.
I read those rag mags for a chuckle to see the crap they fill women's heads with. But man so many women believe what is written in them and then watch these reality shows and think yes that is the kind of man to have.
Men get bashed all the time and will forever. We are called shallow for looking at an attractive woman, but women are allowed to look at a hot bod guy who has his shirt off and looks fine.
Double standards will always be in place and will always be sided for women to be the exception for her actions. As women will always blame men for what she does wrong, saying "Well if he had not...." and society will always place blame on us.
And with media and entertainment being what most people follow and seem to live vicariously through, ever notice how men are always portrayed as usless asses?
The wife drives up in her car, sees the husband getting the leaves out of the trough with the blower, the kids are running around making a mess of the yard with the dog, she drives away and comes back. Or the wife is going to be late from work so the husband has to make dinner with the kids and has this "I am lost" look on his face.
Only time men are portrayed as decent and useful is when they are old and retired. Like when the wife is coming up the stairs and the husband throws in the Uncle Ben's and has it all ready for when she comes in the door.
And women do follow these stereotypes of men. Pretty sad.
Alot of truth here dude, of course yeah....yeah ..someones gonna flame ya =( | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:02:13 PM | Perhaps you should do that with the women you meet on this site instead of clouding your judgement with past negative encounters
Ok the women on here are amazing. So far I think they are the classiest I have ever met.
A short list:
One meets me for a coffee before going to a POF event at a bar downtown. We get there, she decides to ditch me, stupid I am to not catch it the first time, but the second time that same night, and when I confronted her about it she says "You are an unattractive guy who should be meeting unattractive women"--Very nice rejection I might add
One meets me for a bite to eat, even makes the move to hug me bye and says we had a fun time, enjoyed meeting me. Says call her tomorrow. I called her 3 times in 8 days and no return call. Seen her on here 2 weeks later, sent a message asking what happened and she says "Obviously you are stupid and do not catch hints"--Sweet rejection there
One calls me to meet for lunch. I did, I ended up paying, not complaining, $84, I said we should go out and have a couple of drinks one night and she says sure. For 3 days I never got a return call nor text message from her. Then she emails me telling me she enjoyed meeting me, thought I was nice, but she was not attracted to me and she needs more. Tells me the emails, text messages and calls to one another should stop--Awesome rejection.
Just last weekend, met someone for a coffee, she finished her coffee and went to the bathroom and then walked out. Blocked me on here from contacting her---Has to be the nicest rejection.
And so I guess those are what you call classy ways to reject someone? And these women were between 33 and 45. And I am to think so what, hey onto the next... those were just a few of the experiences from meeting women off of here and another site.
Not sure if I am to embrace these funny and great rejections but to me it was not the best feeling when you give the person the benefit of the doubt and they can't be classy enough to tell someone from adult to adult.."You are not my type" or "I am not attracted to you"
But maybe this type of behaviour is expected? And no these women were not 9's or 10's on the looks scale, they were average looking just like me. My standards sure are some of the lowest so I dunno. | |
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cinder
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Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 90 | |
| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:05:01 PM | go for what makes you happy, alot of attractive girls like guys that look like you | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/30/2007 10:09:24 PM | champ--honestly that sucks that you've met so many bizarre women. if it's any consolation i've had some doozies in my time. a fella that i dated for a month and change just literally disappeared one day. went on a business trip, e-mailed once saying he was delayed coming home and i never heard from him again--obviously after 5 weeks he'd decided he "just wasn't into me" but didn't feel led to share that with me (lol). in hindsight, there were some red flags but i wasn't great at recognizing them then. i'm no expert now either--just getting better at it. i admit though, it's harder to catch them online when you might only chat with the person and you can't sort of get a feel for body language etc. i wish i could give you a tidy A+B=C with C being girls you don't even meet for coffee! unfortunately i have no such formula. i guess i just wanted to say that sucks and i hope things turn around really soon.
now...what was this thread about again...lol | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/31/2007 7:18:02 AM | OP - maybe it's just your "charming personality" that they just don't want?
And in my personal opinion : At first glance your cute and all... ok body... I personally would prefer more meat on the bones but after reading what ya wrote... I would have a hard time being physically attracted to you...
Personality means way more than looks...
You can loose looks to illness & accidents... and when a woman is more concerned with her mates looks well you know she won't stick around if you get disfigured in an accident or you get fat from an illness... And if a man is more concerned with his mates looks well you know he won't stick around after a woman gaines weight from having a few kids or if she gets fat from an illness or if she get disfigured in an accident - he'll beat feet...
So be careful what you ask for cause ya just might get it
Oh and don't forget: YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW or YOU GET BACK WHAT YOU GIVE OUT (which apparently is your complaint... lol...)
~*~Depression n. - Anger without enthusiasm.~*~ | |
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mmm78
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Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 93 | |
| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/31/2007 7:45:21 AM | Wearing glasses has nothing to do with being attractive-looking or not. There's good-looking men that wear glasses, as well as good-looking women that wear glasses. I more wanted to comment on the glasses-wearing part.
Other than that, you and everyone else that responded to you about not wanting to settle down is right. Just be patient is all I can say | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/31/2007 8:01:21 AM | OP, the women who THINK that they are good looking are all over the place. They are not worth giving the time of day to. Because they are only good looking on the outside. They have been told so many times about how hot they look that it is the entire perception of themselves. Sad really.
The ones that you really want to find. They are the ones who are think of themselves as average and are actually better looking then the so-called hotties. A lot of it has to do with the fact that their ego hasn't overtaken they're psyche. They are the ones who are good looking inside and out.
Don't worry they are out there. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/31/2007 8:07:02 AM | I admire the fact that you are committed to dating someone in which both of you are equally attracted to one another. I totally agree....never settle for less...especially coz you don't like being alone. Being picky is good....a relationship is an investment... requiring emotion, time, and energy. If your'e not attracted to someone...your'e just not attracted. Just set expectations quickly and be kind...seems from some of these forums that not everyone is. Bitterness overflows into everything in your life...the only one who really hurts is you. Keep working on this issue. One thing that I have discovred is that to meet someone that you think is worthy of you....your own life must be in order to be worthy of them. The right one will come along....wait and see!
And you're right I definitely hate stereotypes....in society nothing happens until someone does something to make a change....you may as well be that someone. I was and have made much progress over the years....especially within. Good Luck. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/31/2007 8:26:47 AM |
original: tombraider000
Those barbie dolls arent settling cause they dont have to! looks get a partner, not keep them.
There. That's it, isnt it? From a guys perspective:
My perfect partner is:
Beautiful. When I roll over in the morning and see her face, I want it to stop my heart, but it doesn't end there- they should be sharply dressed and well kept 'outside the bedroom' too. This ties in to point number 2...
Physically Fit. Not only is this attractive, but it also says something about their character:
"I care about myself. You can care about me, I can care about you".
Mentally Fit. Lets face it, we don't want to date an insecure psychotic, right? A girl with her head together.
Intellectually Fit. Because after all, being able to communicate intelligently is paramount.
I think most guys would agree that the above four points are universally true- all guys would want to be with someone with all of the above qualities. Isn't it therefore logical to conclude that women also want these qualities in their mate? So be those four things, and they will find you attractive!
David | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/31/2007 8:41:40 AM | "Ugly Tyger
U place chicks in a stereotype
if they r not pretty then they r worth nothing
i doubt a pretty girl has ever even looked ur way
get over urself
PIG"
Wow such hostility here on this site. Aren't we supposed to help people and not bring them down? You can't judge me by a profile. That's an inaccurate judge of my character anyway. You're wrong they have looked my way just not very often. My best friend is a beautiful woman and a beautiful person and she knows what I'm like and is attarcted to me!
You guys are sooooo wrong about me. No I'm not settling so get over yourselves. Everybody has something to offer in the world no matter what they look like. Quit getting all bent out of shape because I don't want to date somebody i'm not attarcted to. It's called freedom and since I was born in the United States of America I have the right to choose whoever I want to date and they have the right to accept or not!
Everybody has a preference so just accept that. Calling people a Pig just because youa ssume theya re one isn't right. There will be many people who won't want to date you either for whatever reason. It's part of life and i've come to accept that it just takes a long time to right the right one...
So don't judge me or anybody until you have the opportunity to chat with them online or even better meet in person! | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/31/2007 9:12:02 AM | | I have made a few changes to my profile. People are really getting the wrong idea about me on here. Maybe now when people read it they won't assume I'm a "PIG". | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/31/2007 9:56:11 AM | I have made a few changes to my profile. People are really getting the wrong idea about me on here. Maybe now when people read it they won't assume I'm a "PIG".
Don't be a doormat.
Just because one person calls you a pig says more about her then it does about you.
If you read that persons profile you will find (in all 4 lines that makes up her profile) that she is as egotistical as her name makes her out to be. | |
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| Tired of this stereotype...
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:25:02 AM | Tyger - I have to admit in your opening post you came across as a bit of a horses butt - but in your later replies etc... you don't seem to be as bad as your opening post sounds - maybe it just your presentation
and DRG is right -don't be a doormat...
One thing that I have seen alot of is men who fall all over themselves for that perfect 10 woman and they get used - a lot - and that's what it sounds like happens to you. you sound like you go after these women that you find their looks attractive and must have - and in the long run you get used and thrown aside for what you concider to be her choice of a better looking man... And women that are like that are just as likely to treat you the same way - Is that the woman you really want to love?
When you find real love... It won't matter what she looks like to you - you won't see a bend in her nose or that she has a scar that you find attractive - you won't see her knobby knees or her fat ankels... all you will see it the woman you love and it may be just her eyes that you see... or the way her nose crinkles when she smiles... because she may not be beautiful to everyone else - She's beautiful to you... even if she's not what you would normaly settle for -
Hell let's all admit it - Wouldn't we all like to wake up to a play boy bunny or a chipndales man? and each of us have in or own eyes.... even if it's not what we thought we wanted in the beginning... | |
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