| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 3/10/2007 11:39:41 AM | IRocket-
I beg to differ on the black and white issue of married vs single, although I have been burned by that grey area myself. I have filed for divorce and am wanting to move on with my life, but the ex is dragging his feet on it. Do I sit alone for the last 2 years or do I go out and get a social life? I want to be upfront that I can't get serious right now, so I have separated in my profile. THere are married people that put separated in their profile to get around the married status that you can block. It's a huge grey area that needs more clarification. My feeling is that if there was a separated and filed vs separated not filed, it would be alittle more clear. Although it's not a given, but my feeling is that if a person goes to the trouble and pain of filing for divorce, the marriage is definitely over, but waiting for the legalities to take place.
Hugabug-
Sometimes guys awill say things like that to a woman as a way of letting you down easy that although you are attractive, nice person or whatever, they aren't interested, or no chemistry. Don't take that personally, just move on and don't get your hopes up for each and every guy that you contact or are contacted by. That's why we meet, to see how we hit it off. Sometimes one party is attracted, but the other isn't. The trick is finding where both parties are equally interested. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 3/10/2007 12:05:52 PM | Artsy...I agree with you 100%.
I was in the same situation for four years. I'd filed but it took that long for the divorce to be final. We weren't living under the same roof and once I'd filed, there was never any chance of getting back together. So, being the honest person that I am, I would put "separated" on my profiles. This seemed to attract all the married men online, they'd use the excuse that I was married too.
I finally changed my status to "divorced" and then would explain my situation to anyone that I was interested in pursuing a relationship with. Most men were okay with that. When I filed, I had even asked my attorney if it was okay for me to date...he said that it was absolutely okay. I really didn't feel like sitting around for four years while the court and lawyers took their good old time playing the "let's see how much money we can get from these two people" game. I felt that I deserved some kind of social life during that time too.
Also, who is in that big of a hurry to remarry? I think if during a separation you meet Mr. or Miss Right, if they're really the right one, they'll wait until you get things finalized with your divorce. Mine has been been final for over three years, and I'm still looking. But, since there are some people who feel that separated means married, it would be nice if there was a better list of descriptions in the status area to pick from.
I will admit that when I encounter a man who has "separated" on his profile, I do ask him several questions about the separation before continuing with any conversation. And, of course, hope that he's being honest with his answers...lol
Good luck with your divorce...eventually it will all be done and over with! | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 3/10/2007 2:12:19 PM | | Oh and I am not quite sure why you single me out an emailed me or did you email the other woman who said the same thing in basically different words? | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 3/11/2007 6:38:03 PM | | When one receives an email that starts with, "do u like sex", what do u think that implies? To me, that person is not worth dating; it's all in their wording. I do agree that meeting the person face-to-face is a more positive way to determine if someone is sincere. However, we must "weed" the good from the bad with what we've got. Words tell a lot about a person. Or, if you have a telephone conversation and it turns to nothing but a sex session, that person is not worth dating. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:39:48 PM | While I have someone to spend my time with....I'm staying here...doesn't matter to me who does or doesn't like it! I like the forums and I find them very interesting and more accurate than a survey you would see in cosmo. I posted this before I started being serious with this guy, not that has any bearing on it anyhow or that its anyones business, but for those of you who think I'm pompous, conceited and arrogant....theres more fuel to the fire!  | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 3/13/2007 8:09:24 PM | Hmmm-- I used to write thoughtul notes to the men but afteawhile got tired of them not replying or sending not interested notes or otherwise being evasive. I'm not saying they all do that, but after-awhile I think we get bitter online and figure why should we have to put ourselves out there too much? If someone replies then we will up the ante, so to speak and start communicating. Thats my female perspective anyway.
As I'm a plumper (albeit attractive and sensual) woman, I find men that arent into fuller figured types so I have to play a numbers game to find men who appreciate the beauty in many types of figures. But it makes communication harder intially.
Hope that helps to some extent from a gal's perspective. Imagine its similar for a man.
Thanks! MJS | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 2/9/2008 8:32:33 AM | | I personally wouldn't engage in any long term communications over email with someone I never met. So much gets lost in the written word, or at least IMO | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 2/9/2008 7:56:55 PM | | My biggest issue with the e-mails I get is all of the incorrect spellings! I understand, not everyone is a spelling geek like I am, but I'd prefer to see "you" instead of "u." It's small, I know, but it's enough to make me not want to reply. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 2/9/2008 9:35:02 PM |
I get is all of the incorrect spellings! I understand, not everyone is a spelling geek like I am, but I'd prefer to see "you" instead of "u." It's small, I know, but it's enough to make me not want to reply.
IrishLass, I couldn't agree with you more! It's not a matter of spelling, though. People who do this are just plain lazy! How much time do you actually save by not typing the "yo" in "you"? Additionally, I find it annoying, because that lazy writing takes longer to read. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 2/10/2008 1:31:06 AM | I don't have a problem with the abbreviations and email shortcuts, but it's the people that just fail to grasp the basics of grammar that irk me. You can tell when someone just makes a typo, but using "to" for a sentence like "I ate to much" is just showing how little the person payed attention in grade school to basic grammar. For the record people, it's like this:
two= a number that follows 1.
to= preposition: I went to the mall.
too=adjective to show excess: I ate way too much. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 2/10/2008 4:14:12 AM | Ain't THAT truth! How about "Your not getting it"? MY not getting it? What does that even mean? It's sad to see that, in my estimation, 50% of the people on here struggle with the basics of the English language.
And now we are faced with a HUGE speech virus epidemic. Everywhere I go, I am getting hammered with "It's like" and "I'm like". THAT is getting really irritating. Even ADULTS are catching this virus now. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 2/11/2008 4:09:41 PM | As a guy, I know what your saying. What do you want? Someone to be too agressive only to find out that he is a nerd? Or someone that is a gentleman. I guess it depends on what your looking for. I don't shout at anyone. Let me tell you, I live in the Phila area and with the exception of this past Saturday Night, I went to this singles dance. Both nights, I didn't do a thing, 2 different women came up to me and asked me to dance. I go out looking to meet someone, I also go out probably dressed than some one these clowns that expect to meet someone or just to get someone home for the night. I'm looking for a friend first, connection, attraction and chemistry. If it's not there, I move on. Let me say this, and not to sound like GOD's gift but when ever I go to any club,bar, dance etc, the very first thing I look at is my competition. Not that I am the best looking guy in the world but there sure as hell isn't too much competitation at some of these places. Yes I go out to a nice place. I wear the suit and tie, shinned shoes and usually smell good with maybe "Black" on. I think people just basically want to see who wants them and who's out there. Is anyone really happy? How many people in relationships or even married do you think cheat on their husbands or wives? Too many. I don't know where you live or if you'll ever read this. If you do and you live near the phila area, drop me a line. I am a gentleman and a gentle man.
thanks
guyinphilly | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 2/20/2008 4:03:32 PM | I think its a shame when people dont chat on here at the least strangers can become friends.. but the only way that happens is when emails are sent.. It dont matter that you dont find someone attractive but its nice to get a response... like thanks for the email your not my type....
Everyone complains about players, liars and cheats, yet when you get an email you judge by the look of someone not by the response to the questions sent....
Sorry for goin on off on one but it does annoy sometimes.
Edd   | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 2/20/2008 6:43:00 PM | guy, i was born and raised in philly and have yet to see a man get dressed up in a suit and tie with shiny shoes on to go out on a date unless it's to the most expensive restaurant around. sure that sounds really impressive but if you were to meet a woman that's pretty much a plain jane that doesn't have all kinds of dresses and formal wear would you still take her out on a date if you thought there was some connection? some women like to see that in men but there are also others that would rather have their date feel more comfortable.
edd, it is a shame when people don't always reply....i said people meaning for some men and some women, not all. what a lot of women are getting tired of are the one line emails let alone 3 words. ie. wow!!! you're cute! what kind of an email is that? that's not an email, to me that's a flirt. to me, a regular email would be like ie. wow!!! you're cute! i'm sorry but i came across your profile and you sparked an interest. can y0u tell me more about yourself? i'd be happy with getting something like that just as some other women would as well. with regards to replying to emails, some guy from in here sent me an email and even though i'm not interested in him with regards to dating, he and i talk as friends. there is also a guy that i am interested in but he lives out of the country. would we meet? maybe if eventually one of us decides to jump ponds. would we hit it off? you just never know....he and i talked on the phone once so far and he's a very nice man and would love to meet him in person as well. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:16:53 PM | So.........how am i doing ,,,,,,,,anna?
have i sparked yer interest ..yet?
then you know what im doing tommorow right..........gone
could not help myself..........talk to you soon
Randy | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 2/23/2008 9:38:43 PM | i just got the sweetest email from my favorite canukian friend with a teddy bear too. not just the teddy bear holding the yellow flower but the red teddy bear with the red rose and the card. he's such a sweetheart......and yes, he did spark an interest . now, i guess i'm gonna have to wait and see if he jumps ponds for a little vaca. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 3/25/2008 8:03:00 AM | | This may have already been covered on here but i will say it anway. For me atleast if I am sending a message, I am hoping that the woman will read the message and atleast be interested enough to view my profile and hopefully answer back. But lets be honest not everyone is a writer or a poet so the words don't just jump off the page and grab a man's or woman's attention and then the same came be said for the profile. And as far as pictures go a man or a woman most times will look at the picture and if they don't like the picture on the profile the rest does not matter. Besides if you put to much in the email or profile then you don't have anything to talk about with the person. I just try to find a friend at the very least and who knows. Good luck to everyone. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 3/28/2008 6:38:45 AM | | I have found this frustrating, I read the profiles then write a email saying more than hi. When first contacting someone im just trying to get a reply to see if there even interested in talking. So it can be difficult to send a message longer than a couple sentences when your not sure you will even get a response. Just saying hi wont cut it but sometimes a long first email wont get you anywhere either. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 3/28/2008 8:16:30 PM | It doesn't matter what you say. It's a woman's world out here. If she's not lying about her body type, then she will receive 20-30 times as many messages as a man will. I once received a reply from a gal who said that she felt like she was the ONLY gal in Omaha. She wasn't especially attractive, but she was BOMBARDED with messages. She feels that the guys on here are desperate, and that they will take just about ANYTHING.
So if you don't get a reply, don't take it to heart. These gals are being made to feel like movie stars because of the supply-and-demand issue. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 3/29/2008 11:18:52 AM | hey now, i'm not a movie star but i played the star (lead) role in little red riding hood when i was in kindergarten class. i know i send out emails and a vast majority of them would reply then drop off the face of the earth. there are a few guys that has me on their favorites and we exchange emails on a daily basis....too bad they live too far (other states/countries). i did receive an email today from someone that i sent an email to....he would like to talk to me more.
it's not that men and women are being made out to be movie stars or someone popular, it can be the fact that people read the posts in the forums therefore the other person becoming interested in the person behind the words written leading them to email daily, weekly, or what have you. imo. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:08:50 AM | | What's the big deal here? You would get the same thing if you would meet at let's say a bar, the beach, at church etc,etc. . People lie that's why you start as friends and go f/there. I hate this category it put limit's on forming a relationship. From my point of view I just want to meet a good woman. Friends, dating, talk/email, long term have no bearing on the affect I will have on the woman I meet on here. Instead they will see what I'm about and this could change there point of view. I could start w/let's say a lady who just wants to date and it could get serious or vise-verse. Titles boy do they screw things up. How about this? I email a lady who only wants TALK/EMAIL we become FRIENDS which leads to DATING which leads to LONG TERM which ultimately Leads to an INTIMATE ENCOUNTER which by the way is how a relationship should be formed, in any event I have practically covered every category w/a few left out of course but I think this just goes to show how titles can put limits on reaching your goal to find your desirable mate. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:21:24 PM | wow, long term ultimately leads to an intimate encounter??? i thought that people looking for a "long term" relationship are looking for that special someone to spend the next 20,30,40, or even 50 years together with. intimate encounter is someone just looking for a fb or fwb. ummm, did things change?
talk/email/chat is becoming friends as you say...it lets each person know more about the opposite.
dating.....dating can be with or without sex, depending upon who and how long they're willing to wait for that spark of love to grow extra bright.
long term is explained above and so is intimate encounter.
now, getting back to topic....i received a few emails from guys that were very sweet, i emailed them back only to get nothing in reply but they did read my email and didn't delete it. not everyone has time to answer them immediately and some people even tend to string others along with waiting to see what they're going to say in their reply. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:45:51 AM |  BET THIS SIGN HURT TO READ TOO! WOMEN NEED A REASON TOO COMPLAIN! THEY MAY ITCH WITH A "B"? WHY DO WOMAN SAY THEY WEIGH A LOT LESS THAN THEY REALY DO? MAY BE A TYPO! NOT LOL ! NEXT! TOP OF DE 9th bases LOADED ! YEEE HAAAA!   | |
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