| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:36:29 AM | twodawgz, your  sign doesn't hurt my eyes to read, as a matter of fact back to you...christmas in july that is. not all women need a reason to complain as long as the man gives no reason to complain and it's the other way around too for that matter. weight? believe it or not but some women do weigh what they say just don't hold it in the right places and some even don't actually say their weight unless it's brought up in a conversation. there are some people in here that seen what i look like in person and some say that i don't look as if i weigh as much as i told them but i will not lie and say that i weigh what i used to weigh before the car accident. if a guy can't accept me as i am, with my flaws then he's not going to be able to accept me at all without my flaws. if a man wants to meet a woman that's really skinny then i'd suggest talking on the phone and on cam the same time so he knows what she actually looks like before meeting......i hope she does the same with you or any other guy as well.
some men don't know what to say, say something that has 2 different meanings or ways of taking, or just rather not talk in email at all. i know i've asked a few guys to tell me more about themselves and they never did so i thought that maybe it would be easier for them to talk on the phone.....we talked on the phone only for them to be pushy and want to meet right away. not! i'm not going to meet anyone that i know nothing about let alone have any thing in common with.....oh, and common boo-boos, bumps and bruises don't count! some men also push the issue with talking in instant messenger like this one guy. in his 1st email he said about talking in yahoo....sorry, no can do, i'd rather know who i'm talking to before talking in there. he didn't have much to say in his 2nd email so i offered my number to him and he called.....only to push the issue with talking to me in yahoo, he didn't have anything to say on the phone either. he called me on the phone again this past week telling me "if you don't want to talk to me.........(i'm not finishing what he said since i interrupted him), i told him that if he seen my profile he would know that i wasn't in much of a talkative mood (my 1st born nephew passed away) and if he was going to keep pushing the issue of talking in yahoo but not in here then there was nothing more to say.......except....i'm not interested and to leave me alone.
i don't care how much or how little they right, just nothing short of 3 complete sentences and leave out the instant messenger name. if i give a person the option to talk on the phone then do it, don't let me do all of the talking and do not tell me i don't know what i'm talking about when it comes to the plans i had for rebuilding my trailer, this little girl knows more than some guys would ever dream....and lastly, do not and i mean do not just sit there on the other end of the phone just to hear me talk, it's supposed to be open communication when talking on the phone, a 2 way conversation without the use of a keyboard. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 7/21/2008 11:30:17 AM | What an outstanding topic and thanks to the Author for bringing it up:)
Wait a minute Mr. Postman is there a letter for me today?
I have no complaints on this it's all possitive cause I like to send an email
first before I chat cause it gives a more personal touch.
Honestly it's not
what you write or how much is said that matter's it's the thought and
heart that goes into each letter.
The ones that write
me back I truly enjoy and the ones that don't theres no sweat off my back
they are missing out on a good lady whos smart , fun and charming puts her
heart in each letter.
I feel this is a good way of breaking the ice and letting them know that I'm
better than chat and the emails are personal and also you don't have to hassel
with an im that does not work half the time.
Letters are nice to get and well some men tend to appreciate them and others
just sit back and think they are too good or lazy to reply back, but it's there
loss and someones gain. It's not just one sex it's all.
Not all are looking on here for the same thing , people are on here for different
reasons , some just for entertainment , also ones sincere and ones just for there
own sexual pleasure playing a game to try and get what they want.
There has to be a connection and chemistery when you contact one and the
ones that write back they have an interest and it's more than just internet to me
I email for a while and if the interest is there I put more into it.
We put our profiles
on here for a reason and our hearts are the line each day to achieve a goal of finding
that perfect mate. Instant messages are boring and as I said does not work half the
time I like emails and the phone best it adds a human touch which is nice dont you think?
If the interest and chemistry is there they will reply
The ones I've met has been all good and possitive , the ones that I have not
I have this to say what ashame your missing out .
As to the Author of this post sweety you hang in there , Someone is out there
waiting for a nice lady like you that will be the right one and can appreciate the
thought and heart you truly have.
In closing personal touch is best be it letter or phone
All the best to you all~ Enjoy the rest of Summer
There is someone out there truly for us all...
Yours,Brenny | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 7/29/2008 1:57:03 PM | Sorry I must confess I did not read all five pages of post to this question but would like to post my own feelings on it.
I used to write messages that hit on subjects from the person's profiles, and or the person's I'm writing to interests. Then I would close my messages with something nice to say about them or just a small quote.
I find this method of writing was a complete waste of time because I actually sat there and took the time to read the profile and come up with some points n interest for both of use to communicate on and the reply ratio was the same as if I wrote "Hello how are you my name is Shane care to talk?"
As for me writing to have you choose me over other people that is just insane, to think I would sit there are write a letter to be picked as if I was a prize waiting to be won from the amusement park. IF I am going to write a letter it is tell you I find your profile interesting and that we have some of the same qualities , or that the profile just inspired me in some way that I would go as far as just writing to tell the person how it inspired me and to keep it up.
But that's me, maybe people take it the wrong way but I hope they don't, if I message you wishing you the best I do mean it, or if I message you saying nice paintings I do mean it, or I message you saying how inspiring it is for you to be a single mother and still going to school and not to give up and stick in there I mean it.
but recently I been just writing small message like "Hello how are you my name is Shane care to talk?" because it seems women don't want to read 3-4 paragraphs that actually talk about there profiles, all they seem to want is to know someone is interested in them.
That's what my feelings as become about online dating sites. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 7/29/2008 3:24:40 PM | If you read the OP I would like to know "what is it you ladies want to jump out at you. The first time you meet someone in person what do you say...HI. You don't launch into a 10 minute speech on who you are and what you are about....How about if we e-mailed and said I've seen yours now you check out mine. It is the start of communication. The thing that I hate is when you find a profile that you like and send that person an e-mail and get no reply, they don't even show up in your "viewed me". But did they really change their setting and check you out on the sly.. Got to the pic and did not like it so they don't reply. Then complaine that guys only look at the pictures. Come on ladies which way do you want it.....
Dave I'm out | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 7/29/2008 7:50:52 PM | | Which is true Dave,,,,,,,,most of the guys look at the pics and if they are not skinnie minnies.........or whatever ,,they dont email you back.....I have always answered any emails I have gotten from a guy.......if I am interested i will tell them .....if not,,,,,,,I just say sorry , but if you like to be friends feel free to email me........So honestly it goes both ways on here....... | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 8/2/2008 10:36:04 PM |
if they are not skinnie minnies or whatever ,,they dont email you back
That is simply not true. The problem there is that there are women out here who are clearly obese, and say in their profile that they are "a few extra pounds", or even worse, "average". Nobody wants a "skinnie minnie". That is unhealthy. But nobody wants a person who is so desperate, that they have to phoney up their profile just so someone might get interested. Be HONEST, and let the chips fall where they may. If you are ashamed about the way you look, don't lie about it.. .CHANGE it! | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 8/3/2008 6:05:32 AM | Your right on microchip. How about the dreaded "prefer not to say" I hate that one.
I have checked out a lot of profiles with no pictures sent e-mails and got no response.
I think the OP said she got 300 and some messages in a months time and only 1 "knocked her socks off" So I ask why do you need to knock someone 's socks off if you are just saying hi I checked out your profile and and liked it....????????Could it be there are more males than females and some of the females (some ) want us to jump through hoops in the selection process....."What's up with the women and the e-mails on POF"
I'm out | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:09:50 AM | | Micro, if you look at my profile and pic I did not lie. I have some extra baggage and its more to love. I am definatly not desperate. And Im not ashamed of how I look .I am just sick of the head games men play. I said skinny minnie because I was talking to a guy and he said loved your profile , etc. Then he said...lose some weight I would love to have a skinnie woman.......Well guess what I said......your looking in all the wrong places......see ya........ | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:40:25 AM | Shorty, that post wasn't directed at you. I know you didn't lie, and you've always been a sweetheart.
Then he said...lose some weight I would love to have a skinnie woman
That's unfortunate. I don't believe that that is representative of all single men.
I had a date three weeks ago. The person that showed up at the restaurant was about 15 years older than her picture, and she was about 60 pounds heavier. (She claimed to be of "average body type".) I am still angry about that. THIS woman was clearly desperate. If she told the truth, she wouldn't have gotten to go on this date. I wonder how many first (and only) dates she gets with that ruse? I don't have anything against big girls. I just hate liars and game-players.
[Quote]Could it be there are more males than females and some of the females (some ) want us to jump through hoops in the selection process....."
Dave, I believe you hit the nail right on the head. I believe there are FAR more males out here than females. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 8/3/2008 7:42:01 AM | wow, there are guys out there that would actually jump through the hoops? would they be hula hoops or fiery rings? i would never expect anyone to go jumping through any hoops, i'm not that special and i honestly think that neither is the next person.....man or woman. sure there are some of those that have more outer beauty than some others but that's just the thing.....too many men and women look at the outer appearance as compared to actually reading one's words written describing themselves as a person, writing with honesty. i know i can still pretty much write a novel for an email but that's just me. i'm still receiving those 1 liners using "pet names" or "terms of endearment" names. i'd say from june '06 until now and minus 3 months vacation i had.....i'd say that i had umm errr about 4 emails that actually were written and had some feeling, some honesty written behind them and were much more than 1 line let alone 3 words and never a mention of any "terms of endearment" names. those emails were from 4 of i'd say about 500 emails over that length of time that i personally received with the guy making the initial contact. the rest of the emails i receive are from me making the initial contact....some are those 1 liners as well just to be a smartass with throwing out at things thrown to me.
now, c'mon guys....us women deserve much more than just 1 lined emails. i thought you were out there to try to attract a woman? | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 8/3/2008 12:26:16 PM | | Ty Micro for the compliment. And you know what I see now why you have that feeling. Why people lie is beyoud me. I know men and women that both do it and its going to bite them in the ass one day. ( like your meeting) ahhhhhh jump through a hoop...ok , lol I want to see that. Your such a sweetheart Micro , so any woman that lies to you and cant be honest.........shes is so dumb... | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 8/3/2008 4:20:20 PM | CG, come on girl. It's like I said above what do you want to hear in the first contact other than Hi, I checked out you profile and think we may hit it off check it out and let me know...then if you answer you can get what you "deserve"?????? I not gonna waste my time trying to"IMPRESS" anyone with a long spill my gut e-mail only to get no response. what use is it.....to "ATTRACT A WOMAN" who may or may not respond..Read my one liner, look at my profile and then respone either that you liked it or didn't. Then let's start the communication, mutually. You need to attract me as well....
I'm out | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 9/2/2008 7:36:04 PM | | After reading most of these comments from all of you, I'm petrified to e-mail now. Only been on a couple of weeks and trying to see how it works. Is it as rough as I think it is? I'll just sit back and watch some of you and take some notes. Should of stayed in the shallow end a little longer. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 9/5/2008 4:27:48 AM | I have the same problem and you just have to remember that they are men and men do not think like we do. YOU put a lot of thought into your profile, I find that men eather don't put enough info or its to much. But you gotto remember boys will be boys.
and you just gotto love them Marylou | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 9/5/2008 9:46:59 AM |
Is it as rough as I think it is? I'll just sit back and watch some of you and take some notes. Should of stayed in the shallow end a little longer.
Not sure what you mean by the "shallow end".
It CAN be rough, if you let it. The key here is that you should not get your hopes up based on only what a person out here says in their profile, or based on the picture(s) they have posted. You HAVE TO talk to the individual to get a better feel for where she is coming from. Then, when you meet, and you find that the person totally misrepresented herself, you politely rise and say "Sorry, you are not the kind of person that I was expecting to meet". (That is the "gentle" way to extricate yourself.)
After this happens a few times, you start feeling like saying. "You have GOT to be kidding! WHOSE picture did you put up in your profile???"  Or "WHO do you think you are trying to put one over on"?
And this is still better than stalking women in the grocery store. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 9/5/2008 12:32:33 PM | | "This is still better than stalking women in the grocery store"...and would you have first hand knowledge of that Micro?...lol.. (hugs) ~Kel.. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 9/5/2008 6:06:25 PM | | I just meant that I have been out of the dating thing for 13 years and feel like I'm going under. At least in the shallow end I felt safer. The shallow end being content with waiting for that special someone. I guess I'm getting to old for that though. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 9/5/2008 8:46:25 PM |
waiting for that special someone.
THAT, my friend, is a bad idea. Waiting for something to happen means you are giving up. In this world, you must be proactive. Then, if you have not fulfilled your dreams, at least you can say that you have tried.
"This is still better than stalking women in the grocery store"...and would you have first hand knowledge of that Micro?...lol.. (hugs) ~Kel..
Well, the library doesn't work either. The only women that know how to read are too smart for me anyway. And the laundromat... well, heck... if she can't afford a washer and dryer, she'll never be able to support me! | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 9/27/2008 7:42:08 PM |
At least in the shallow end I felt safer
nooooo! get out of the shallow end. your best bet would be to go to the deeper end of the pond. didn't you know that there are some women treading water in the deep end just waiting for someone to drag them in? never be afraid to get back into the dating circuit. things changed for many of us but in the end a lot of those things that changed are still the same, just with a more modern touch.
laurie...what do you need suggestions with? | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 9/27/2008 8:25:30 PM | I guess I'm a little self conscious with my floaties on. The women in Pgh seem to want the perfect man and to be honest, I'm not. Maybe a 6 or 7, an 8 on a good day. Okay, a 6. I am trying but Rome wasn't built in a day. Maybe it's my speedo. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 9/28/2008 1:54:47 PM | hmmm, it seems that everyone is looking for that perfect person. why not look for someone that's perfectly imperfect? i'd like to say that's me right on the button. i'm perfectly imperfect....i have my flaws just as anyone else, i have my imperfections just as the next woman, i'm far from being perfect but then again i'm also far from being imperfect. now, you're wondering what the hell i'm talking about with me saying that i'm far from being imperfect. what i mean by that is that i have my imperfections but not entirely to the point of no return. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 9/30/2008 7:43:29 PM | | I think 80 to 90% of the woman, at least around here, look at a guys profile and judge them by the photos. They don't want to take the time to get to know the real guy(me) in any way, shape or form. My photos are not the greatest and they definitely don't show who the complete person that I am. Oh, by the way, you women who put your pictures sideways on your profile, stop it! It's a pain in the a** to turn my computer around. Thanks. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/1/2008 10:57:46 AM | ~I think 80 to 90 % of the men, at least around here, look at a womans profile and judge them by the photos. They don't want to take the time to get to know the real woman in any way , shape or form..
Hmmmm think i heard something similar...lol... (hugs) ~Kel... | |
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