| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/9/2008 12:17:29 PM | Well I'm glad to see that if someone sad hi you would respond.
The problem is that if you Type something witty or funny about someone and something more personal for the next person and something cute with the next one and you don't get any response back, as a man you get a little burnt out putting yourself out there for no responses.
Me personally i Like IM's, but i haven't gotten any IM to work on here.
So now i'm reduced to hi. and a sentence or two to go to Yahoo or Aol so I can pick up a decent IM conversation.
This is the internet and it was designed to be more convenient and easier than conventional dating.
At least in a bar you can buy someone a drink and thye'll give you 5mins of their time.
This is more like a game show.....PICK ME PICK ME!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/10/2008 1:24:00 AM | Well, I didn't read through all the responses, and I don't know what other peoples reasoning is, but I can comment on my own.
It's really multi-fold in my case.
1. I've been out of the dating scene for a very long while, and I really DON'T know what to say. Plain and simple. Short of a"Hi how are you doing? If you feel like chatting send me a me a reply" I don't honestly know what to say.
2. I sent quite a few that I took the time to type out a really well thought of message based on the person's profile. But after sending a bunch and getting no response at all I've just gotten to the point where I figure if I at least send some kind of message that if they take a peek at my profile and want to respond they will and then we can go from there.
3. I'm actually semi-shy when it comes to this kind of thing. I'm not someone who opens up easily to someone I don't know. It's hard enough for me to go up to some one I don't know or know as an aquaintance and talk let alone someone I've never met.
I've actually had talks with female friends of mine about number 3, and I always get the same jaw open, wide eyed, shocked response, lol. I'm a professional DJ so I always get told the same thing, "But, you get on a microphone in front of a crowd of people you don't even know and talk, joke, and flirt. How the hell can you be shy?". My response is always the same, it's my job, lol. I've been doing it for about 9 years now. Bar owners pay me money to make their customers feel good and be happy. It's not about me, it's about them. But when it comes to trying to talk to someone, especially about relationships or even if it's someone I'm interested in, well, that's a whole new ballgame for me.
For some people it comes easy, for others it really doesn't. Yeah, granted there are people out there that are just fishing for a good time. But there are honest people out there that are possibly looking for more. It just get's frustrating sometimes to take the time and really message someone and never get a response so I guess I fall in to cruise mode sometimes and just figure why bother, if they really want to respond then they will.
Another topic I did notice in this thread was about people checking out the pictures and not responding. I know there are some who pop up a profile and head straight for the pictures and if they don't think the person is "hot enough" they just pass it by. And it's not just the men that do it. Am I good looking? I couldn't tell you honestly, I have no opinion of myself in that way. But girls are just as guilty of this one as us guys. Yeah, we can all admit I think, looks can be nice. But to me that's all secondary to everything else. Personally I'm not a superficial person, I know there are those out there who are, it's just not me and its a huge turn off for me in someone else. I respond to any one who at least takes the time to look at my profile.
Ok, enough of my ramblings, it's 4:30am and I think the coffee's finally wearing off ... lol | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/10/2008 11:42:45 AM | There is way too much stereotyping on here! I have also noticed an abundance of shy guys (how does that happen). Let me just give you a couple of tips about getting someone who is not as nice as me to respond. Make it very unique.
One guy I talked to that was HUGE offered to be my personal security system. It was hillarious and he's turned out to be a very nice guy. Another one (and this was my favorite) emailed me with a "word of the day". His first one was "contact". It was something like contact and gave the meaning of the word. Then he told me to use it in a sentence which I did something to the effect of , Thank you for the stimulating concept and I am happy to contact you. When he asked me out he used the word of the day as tea...He would like to take me to the golf course to Teach me to Tee off. Or to TEAch me to shoot pool. I love talking to him and look forward to see what else he comes up with and we are going out tonight to TEAch me to shoot pool!
I guess it just comes down to, don't be too shallow. Give everyone a chance and you never know what you will find attractive! | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/10/2008 1:47:48 PM | emt, there are a lot of guys that use the excuse of being shy which i really love. it's funny how behind the screen they'll say that they're shy but if you walked by them some tend to gawk at a woman, whistle, or just flirt. the woman can be a member of the site and he can be hiding his profile where she can't see him.
i don't think that i'm a shallow since i do talk to everyone that emails me. i do tend to let people know what's going on with me and let them decide.
have a great nite learning how to shoot pool.. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/10/2008 2:57:48 PM | Believe it or not CG, some us actually are ... 
Most of my female friends actually think it's funny ... lol
My one, lord knows I love her to death and I just may have to kill her one of these times, will wait until I go to the bathroom or something and then buy women drinks for me just to see me squirm when I get back ...  | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/10/2008 7:32:41 PM | I just love you country girl...you would be so much fun to hang out with. We could tackle all the shy guys together 
elyale: I like the way your friends think and I will so have to do this! Thanks for the tips to help some of my guy friends.
Tomorrow night is for pool so I really can't wait to go!
Hugs to all you great folks! | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/10/2008 9:14:31 PM | sure evad, except we're playing with a handicap....my bum shoulder but then again we'd still kick your butts
emt, it's too bad you live too far...i think we'd have a blast with some of these guys, it would be like taking their virginity away from them.
i remember my big brother had me trying to find a girlfriend for him, boys in school wanting me to talk to girls for them, and even one guy wanting to buy a girl a drink. but with regards to some girls they might not be shy but just unsure of how to approach a guy in a club or something. i've said this many times............i'm the kind of girl that would walk over to a guy to get him to talk to a girl or even buy her a drink or dance with her...i've done that plenty of times. i'm not shy but i am modest about my body.  | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/11/2008 4:53:36 AM | I am ready for some FOOTBALL! It could be the first annual POF football game. That is a very good idea Evad. It might help bring you out of your shell some too.
CG - them poor shy guys, we have to help! I'm the same way with guys though. Sometimes I think I'm just one of the guys but then, it's hard to look at me and forget, I'm NOT one of the guys.
Right now though, I don't want to post a pic because if that is all they want to see, let them keep browsing. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/11/2008 12:02:57 PM | | I might need that shell for the big POF football game. It will be 2 hand touch, right? Shirts versus skins? We'll flip a coin for that. EMT? I might need an EMT during the game. You women sound confidant and intimidating. Sounds like fun. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/11/2008 4:58:44 PM | emt, you can post a pic and keep it hidden and show upon request. there's no rule saying that you have to have one but it's best that you do and goes for the guys too.....i can't tell you how many times my profile's been reviewed and not a single guy made first contact.
ummm, micro, us women get the shirts, the guys are skin | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/12/2008 5:32:01 PM | Hey CG - I do have pics like that. I have let a few people see after we have talked for a while. I'm POF's best kept secret!.. WHATEVA!
I'm all for the football game. I can take care of whoever is injured BUT fake injuries will result in dire consequences! (That is for you Evad!)
Let me tell you too CG - the pool went real well. He is a very nice guy not to mention I laughed so much my stomach hurt this morning. There might just be hope for this site yet! | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/12/2008 5:50:32 PM | | I won't have to fake an injury. As far as you women being shirts, that's fine. Us guys being skins may not be such a good idea. How about long sleeves versus short sleeves? What would be the dire consequence for a fake injury? | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/13/2008 1:42:11 PM | dave....you can play beer boy but keep in mind that it doesn't mean for you to pour the beer over us girls
evad, there's no faking pulled hamstrings or anything of the sort. oh and ummm, guys, make sure you wear your cups and umm, if my stb ex is reading this, make sure you remember your walnut shell and rubber band chain. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/17/2008 10:10:47 PM | | Ok after reading a number of these post, I feel the need to chime in. I feel that there is not a real "look at me" "pick me" type of first contact email. Lets all face it, the reason you clicked on someones profile in the first place is their picture. You saw someone that you found attractive. After doing so, you choose to write something to get the perverbial ball rolling. Whether you pour your heart and soul into this message or just write a few lil words, they take a look at your pic and decide A) Wow, they are cute/handsome (whatever) B) They are not to bad or C) like as if. Everyone always wants to think that someones personality can overcome a physical attractness. Well, call me shallow hal, but I believe if you don't find the other person attractive or even semi-attractive you really don't even give their words a real fighting chance to tip the scales towards wanting to know more about them. So in saying this....If you find someone attractive, like what you read on their profile, give them a shout. It's internet dating, don't get discouraged...If you email 100 people, odds are in your favor at least one of them are gonna respond with a postive note. And, after the emails are traded a few times, you can decide whether they are pompus pigs after one thing, money grubbing shallow wenches, or someone you would enjoy going out and seeing if the sparks fly in person. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/17/2008 10:18:30 PM | Ponygirl, it's not what if. Itsx what do ya have to offer. It's a haorrible thing that you hold a child aginst it's will..... were was I I was statioeds at ? I was stationed at what PA wants to call a school of connction education. We have the means to treat the children in 3 countiess over.
Call me when you are you om-line.
paul | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/18/2008 8:38:22 AM | Can't where a cup, mine has to be a salad bowl. I'm taller when I'm laying on my back. Couldn't put that on my profile. We need a name for our team.  | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/18/2008 8:48:32 AM | Evad - I have names now thanks to you. The girls are the Dutchesses and the guys are the Dinkydos. See how long it takes you to get that one. So when and where is this game cause I have to make arrangements to be there.
Othere guy who says it's all about the pic - I don't believe that at all. I get 50+ emails a day and no pic is posted...go figure. I respond to all, either, let's talk or no thanks I don't believe we would be a good match. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/20/2008 9:37:04 AM | | It goes both ways. I can be just as bad. I think people are just so busy these days that sometimes there is only so much time and energy to even write an email. It's pure lazyness. I really try to read the profile. If they put a lot of effort in to it then I'm much more inclined to try to write a good email. I recently had a guy email me and said call me sometime. I'm like no way buddy! I not going to waste my time when you don't even have the energy to atleast get to know me through a couple of emails. Don't expect me to do your dirty work. | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/20/2008 12:41:21 PM | Nowiamme
I am pretty new to this site and have been on other sites in the past. I haven't really been looking over the past several months. About 4 years ago I joined a different site and spent (wasted) hours typing emails to people only to not get ANY response. Honestly women get many emails but if you take the time to read them wouldn't it be nice to just send a note.
Maybe just a thank you for you're interest but I don't think we will work. On this site I have sent 5 emails. 2 of them were just a " hey not asking to meet just saying I liked what you wrote. I did get one response. Have you ever thought of how hard it is for someone to write these only to not even know if the letter was read?
I have found that it doesn't seem to matter what or how much we write. I did on another site meet someone and we dated very seriously for 8 months before it ended, the note I sent her was very short and to the point maybe 3 sentences. So how are we to know to long from to short?? | |
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| Whats up with men and the emails on POF
Posted: 10/21/2008 11:26:51 PM | Just a shot in the dark - If her profile is long, go with long. If her profile is short - go with short. Maybe it's an attention span thing.
I've missed all you guys so write me sometime!
CG is still my girl so guys be good to her = she is such a good fishy! | |
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