| He Said He Really Likes Me, But Theres No Spark!
Posted: 3/15/2007 12:14:34 AM |
I talked to Him again today actually, and he said that he cares for me, really likes me, that the sex really meant something to him and that he still really wanted me to be his friend, but he didnt want a relationship with me because he didnt think I was the "One", then he went on to say you can do way better then me, like he can tell me who i fall in love with! Sssoooo, let me get this straight. There is enough attraction to have sex with you, but not enough to warrant being your "boyfriend." Sounds like a really great guy.
Time to cut your losses and run. Do you really want to be with someone who just wants to have sex with you and nothing more? Do not ever count on it changing. | |
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| He Said He Really Likes Me, But Theres No Spark!
Posted: 2/9/2008 6:45:36 AM | Well just wanted to update you all on the going ons of this confusing relationship. Thanks everyone for all your advice, I kept it in mind but still I knew that something wasn't right, and that there was something there that I couldn't let go of.
So...we are living together now!! Have been since September of last year. I absolutely am head over heals in love with him, and well he (despite having trouble getting the words out mainly because he is so quiet and shy about his feelings) told me he loved me and that he plans to spend the rest of his life with me!
So I guess that we truly were meant to be, although to this day he still will not give me a definitive answer as to the real reason he had said there was no spark between us and so on. His only reasoning is that he had been hurt so many times before it was hard for him to take another chance and he was afraid to do that again.
He also said that people change and now he couldn't imagine me not in his life. (The really confusing part about it all is that I asked him once how long he has considered me to be his GF because its not like he every asked me it just sorta happened, and he said since January of last year, which really floored me because that was before I asked him and the whole " no spark thing" went down!
I guess I should be happy with that answer, but Its hard not to want to know the real reason....was it because he was angry with me for what I had said before? Maybe he is telling the truth or maybe he just wanted to make sure how I felt before he made any commitments.
That about does it for this thread!
Take care everyone and Good Luck! | |
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| He Said He Really Likes Me, But Theres No Spark!
Posted: 2/20/2008 1:33:43 AM | I don't think it's impossible that two people can learn to love each other over time....looking for a perfect person is really pointless , every person has flaws when you get down to it.
Love seems fickle really , funny people say they're gonna be forever together and then they break up after a few weeks....ummm ok ? | |
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| He Said He Really Likes Me, But Theres No Spark!
Posted: 2/20/2008 9:22:52 PM | | Wow, I totally did not see that coming! Glad it worked out for you. Just when I thought I was starting to understand men... LOL, after hearing that he told you straight out that there was no spark, I was thinking - girl, what does he have to do, beat you over the head with it? Good for you for pursuing it. | |
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| He Said He Really Likes Me, But Theres No Spark!
Posted: 2/20/2008 9:47:19 PM |
So...we are living together now!! Have been since September of last year. I absolutely am head over heals in love with him
Umm... so why do you still have an active profile on POF? 
I'm confused... | |
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| He Said He Really Likes Me, But Theres No Spark!
Posted: 2/20/2008 9:53:48 PM | Well if a guy loves you he will call you and want you back if you just ignore him for a week or two don't chase him at all let him chase you then you will know if he likes you. But if he is just gonna keep F#%king with your head cut him off out of your life, you can do better than him, Why waste your time on someone who does'nt want to waste time on you. JERK!. I hate the B#ll Sh&t that guys can be capable of.
Any ways good luck girl, don't let him hurt you.
:-) | |
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| He Said He Really Likes Me, But Theres No Spark!
Posted: 2/21/2008 6:21:52 AM | chichi, it may take a good friend to bring it to his attention and tell him that he has to let his guard down and tell you exactly how he feels. i was watching a move "the break up" , even though brooke (jennifer aniston) broke up with gary (vince vaughn) shes still loved him and was in love with him, she tried to make him jealous but it didn't work. there was a bar scene, the bar tender which was gary's best friend told him that brooke didn't stand a chance with him since he would not let his guard down. it was then that he realized he did love her and want to be with her but it was too late.
i know this might sound crazy and they were only roles played in a movie but i believe that it's true. there are some people that are afraid of letting their guards down because of failed relationships in the past and it takes someone from the outside to see it.....it takes someone from the outside to help open up the eyes of their friend.
good luck, keep us up to date on your relationship. | |
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Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 34 | |
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| He Said He Really Likes Me, But Theres No Spark!
Posted: 2/21/2008 8:51:59 AM | Do you know what a paragraph is? If you can't express yourself clearly, how do you expect anyone to understand your problem?
I'll give it a shot. He said there wasn't any spark. I'd have asked, "What do you mean by spark?" Likely the answer to that question would have told you what to do regarding him.
Next exactly what do you want in a relationship? Dating? Marriage? Kids? What? If the guy isn't willing to give you what you want, then you have to move on. Unfortunately many people remain stuck in worthless, for them, situations and waste a lot of valuable lifetime - maybe all.
Except for people who just want to date around and don't intend to make any serious committment, you should establish early on exactly what this new person in your life is looking for.
I've said this before and this goes over most people's head - the most essential thing for a successful relationship is commonality. Let me go deeper. A couple should have similar expectations, agree on their world view or general philosophy about life, come from similar backgrounds or social strata, have common views on such matters as money, religion, sexual practices, and the list goes on.
I'd really stress the idea of similar expectations. Most people really blow this one. What do you want to happen to you tomorrow, next week, or next year? Project this out 10 years. How could you possibly live with someone who has an entirely different set of expectations from yourself. Suppose the guy doesn't expect to get very far in life and is actually just content eeking out a living and laying on the sofa after work watching TV while his wife sees herself living the high life or going ballroom dancing.
Many people think that love, romance, trust, friendship, respect, kindness, and all the other positive emotions preceed or must be in place before they commit themselves to another human being. They aren't. These good things happen over a period of time and can only occur when conflict is at a minimum in a relationship. Then love occurs and deepens. However, if the union is filled with conflict, you'll know what H*ll is before you die!
The Eagle | |
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| He Said He Really Likes Me, But Theres No Spark!
Posted: 2/21/2008 9:18:26 AM | | at least he like you as a friend...i got kicked to the curb without even getting that far...we first time i saw him was in a moment of distress with my car..saw him the next night and then the FWB started immediately...continued for a week then all of sudden he decided that this friendship/dating/relationship won't go any further for him...i asked why...he said he wasn't ready for relationship however he had two previous relationships that lasted months..but i think he freaked when they gave him an ultimatum.....anyway...he blasted me with "I'm honestly not attracted to you" SLAMMMMMMMMM....he said that i was an attractive woman but he just didn't feel right sleeping with someone when he knew that it would go any further on his part...said he wasn't attracted to me as far as a relationship....yet for the first several days he led me to believe differently...we had ALOT of things in common....so many it even scared me...then of course yesterday he slammed me with this...i thought we were actually starting to become friends...(yes with benefits but that, IMO wasn't the basis of it)..I asked if he liked me and he said i was cool...asked again cool is different than liking me...i didn't ask if he cared for me or loved me just if he liked me...but obviously not because he doesn't even want to be friends....he is lying about something and not being honest...but i haven't dated in 3 years and he was first since then...and people want to know why i don't trust.....all awhile when i thought this would happen he told me to stop worrying there is always tomorrow...well guess what tomorrow has come and gone......my ex husband said some bad things to me ...but this cut to the bone..i can honesly say this guy hurt me more than my ex ever did...and he had the nerve to tell me to trust him....gee let me see...why is it again that i trust no man....it will be at the very least another 3 years before i date again...how many times can you get beat down and expect to get back up without collapsing.....I was really starting to think he and i could be good friends...but i don't even have that opportunity.....he is widowed and has been for 5 years and according to him only 2 long term relationship...both ended because he couldn't committ....so why do i feel like i'm at fault and did something wrong | |
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| He Said He Really Likes Me, But Theres No Spark!
Posted: 2/21/2008 10:01:45 AM | Good lord woman, get a hold of yourself! 
How many times does he have to tell you there's 'no spark', you should find someone else, and you are NOT the one for you to remain 'confused'? Is the sex so good it's fogging up your common sense? EJECT, EJECT!! Get out of the****it while your parachute still works and land somewhere not so foggy.
He does not want you. You are not the one. You never will be the one. He does not want you. You are not the one. You never will be the one. Do you get it yet? He's not ever, ever going to have any kind of serious relationship with you. Why are you still puzzling yourself about what is so astoundingly clear? Stop having sex with him, stop hanging around him, and find someone else who CAN have a relationship with you. | |
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| He Said He Really Likes Me, But Theres No Spark!
Posted: 2/22/2008 4:11:12 PM | | i decided its a cop out...he found someone else or thinks the grass is greener on the other side.......they always say it isn't another woman...but even if there currently isn' t one...there will be soon...and he will do the same thing to her......these men are affectionately called jellyfish | |
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