| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 4/28/2007 8:05:07 AM | I'm done at 40, wish it would have been 36, but oh well...now I can have a life! I was the last of 7 and I would never have children later in life. I'm footloose and fancy free, I can go anywhere I want, traveling wise at the drop of a hat and call my friends who just had their kids...and tease them | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 4/28/2007 2:18:42 PM | | Had my four before the age of 30......thank goodness. I'm 47 now and have a hard enough time keeping up with them on the ski hill! My belief is....you are in your late 40's...kids are almost grown...mortgage is almost paid....time to play!!!! | |
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diz73
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Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 28 | |
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 4/28/2007 2:59:22 PM | i see the benefits of waiting longer to start a family (making sure you arent rushing into anything, being financially stable perhaps, learned how the real world works, etc etc). i was 24 when i had my first child and i was the first of all my close friends to have a baby. to some people, that was old! i had been married 5 years and all i got from ages 19-23 was 'when are you going to have children???', like it was bizarre that i wasnt ready yet. i never understood that! even 24 was young really. i still had some growing up to do lol.
but now that im about to turn 34, i havent decided when i would be DONE having children. i had another child when i was 29, but im not sure if im finished. i think its a 'thing' i have about wanting to have a child in the midst of a good relationship for once. i want to know what thats like haha, raising a child WITH the father in a good stable relationship. but im going to be 34 and my original life plan was that i would not have any more kids after age 32 so that they would be older if i decided to go back to college and change careers by age 40. now i have to ammend that because im just not sure. i dont feel 'old' tho, i think i still have a few years left in me lol. but i do have two kids, so if i dont have any more, thats okay with me. but im really unsure how old i want to be before being positive im DONE. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/16/2007 3:33:04 PM | | I think it should be up to each person. If you are healthy and stable, why not have a baby later in life? I really don't think it is any of my business when someone chooses to have a child. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:55:07 PM | I think this is a pure personal choice. I started way way young... I am so glad now I am at the stage in my life. while I would welcome some one elses children. I have no desire to do the childbirth thing agian, or 2:00 am feedings or eww the just the thought of it potty training again..
I love my life now I am 47 kids are out of the house. I don't have to worry about them. My turn yippee!!!!
I read about these people that start a family at age 50, I am always thinking why are you nuts.. I mean you would be 70 before your life would be your own again. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/17/2007 5:21:01 AM | | Are you kidding me? I finished before I was 30. Would have been finished at 24, if not for my "surprise" at 29! I got married young and had my kids young. And I'm glad I did, because at 40, my kids are old enough not to need to be "taken care of" like small children do. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/17/2007 7:26:30 AM |
I read about these people that start a family at age 50, I am always thinking why are you nuts.. I mean you would be 70 before your life would be your own again.
I had my son when I was thirty three so for thirty three years my life was my own. Up until I found out I was pregnant the only experience I felt I was missing in life was being a mother. I'm guessing people who are in their forties and fifties who decide to have their first child probably feel the same way. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/17/2007 9:45:54 AM | | Personally, I think it's best to be done having children by age 30. Given the stats on divorce, etc., why would you want to risk being a single parent during your late 40's and into your 50's, when you could be enjoying greater freedom? If only I'd followed my own advice .... | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/24/2007 8:00:13 AM | | I had two kids when I was in my twenties....and got a lovely "surprise" in my early thirties!....not 35 yet....but I gotta tell ya....I'm done! It takes so much energy to chase a toddler around! I don't think I could do it at 40! | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/24/2007 11:41:54 AM | Depends on the kind of lifestyle you want for yourself. My mom had me just before she turned 20. I remember growing up she always seemed to be stressed and worn out. When she wasn't busy at home being mom she was out working to help pay the bills. Dad always worked so we did'nt see him much. Not much time to enjoy your twenties or thirty's for that matter. However, by the time they reached their forties, their parental responsibilites were pretty much over. They didn't have to work as much and they had more time for a social life. They still are young and healthy enough today to enjoy the lifestyle they couldn't have when they were younger, and they do! I am glad for them because they sacrificed a lot to raise us.
Now for myself on the otherhand, as much as I would like children, I would not change the experiences and lifestyle I've had during the last twenty years to have had children at a younger age. I've enjoyed freedom, travelled around the world, established myself in my career and have become financially secure. At 38, I am far better prepared for motherhood on all levels now then I would have been ten years ago. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/24/2007 4:22:28 PM | | iI got married young and had my kids young (personal choice). I get from several people...you are still young you can have more kids...sure I could if that is what I wanted. I like the fact that I am in my early 30's and my kids are 10 and 12. I have been told the older you get the more patience you have....I haven't seen that happen. I don't think I can...no wait scratch that...I know I don't have the patience to have another child. I know it is a personal prefrence, and mine was having my youngen's early. I know I have made mistakes some I probably could have avoided if I had had more life experience, but for me I wouldn't change a thing. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/25/2007 5:22:26 PM | | I don't think age has anything to do with this. People have this idea that they have to fall into the mold that society has set out for us. There is nothing that says you have to be married or have kids by a certain age. It's about happiness, stability, health etc. When the time is right, you'll know and thats it. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:14:14 PM | I wanted all my kids by the time I was 30, and I did it. My youngest son is turning 7 next week.
Unless the right person comes along and is willing and able, that will be it. I have 2 gorgeous boys out of it, so that is meaningful to me. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/26/2007 10:20:15 PM | travel junky,
I am looking forward to experiencing the things you have done in your life so far....only difference is I am going to be in my forties when I can enjoy those same experiences.
However, age and the experiences you have had, do not better prepare you for being a parent more than someone in their 20's.
The funny thing is...no matter how old you are or how long you have planned for having a child....you are never totally prepared for becoming a mother the first time!...
It is just a choice we all make when the time is right. There isn't any prerequisite that makes an older parent better than a younger one.... | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/26/2007 10:37:34 PM | | I was hoping to have it well on it's way by this point (32) but fate threw the curve ball and now I think about this subject in a different, more urgent or thoughtful manner. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 9/27/2007 11:35:36 AM | | I had mi daughter when i was 28, then i had 3 sons all by thr age of 34 so had 4 kids in six years im 44 and my eldest is 16, then nrli 13, 11 and 10 im glad i had them when i did cos now it time for to have some me time as there all at school mi daugther at college and two of mi sons at hi school and yungest in last yr of primary | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/5/2007 5:40:51 PM | WOW--great topic.... One that's been on my mind A LOT lately.
I'm 36 and have no kids. Starting a family has always been a dream of mine, but it's not looking too good at present.
On another part of the forums, I posted requesting people to review my profile and one of the parts that they blasted me for was looking for someone younger than myself! A big part of my reasoning is that I want some time available before starting a family. I don't want to try to conceive a child on our first date (well, maybe some men try, but I'm not that way!) 
My ex-wife is 12 years younger than I am. Age was NOT the reason why things fell apart--I think we were matched pretty well, there, except I didn't really enjoy her taste in music. And, I really hoped to start a family with her and build a wonderful future together for the 3 (or more) of us. But, she had other plans, like having a boyfriend on the side. 
My best friend said something very disturbing to me recently: at some point I need to give up my dream of having a family. I sure hope she's wrong. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/5/2007 6:12:53 PM | good god dude - you have lots of time - its women that have the old clock ticking - our eggs have expiry dates on them - but you men - your little fishies can keep swimming well into senior citizenhood...
And that sucks about the wife - sorry to hear that - but don't let that crush your dreams - you have plenty of time left! | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/5/2007 6:34:47 PM | Exactly my point! I, as a man, can have children for quite a while. But, I was heavily criticized about my profile when I indicate that I'm looking for someone younger than I am. Nothing against older women--there are a lot of nice ones out there. But, one of my big goals in life is to start a family, and I can't do that alone. I just don't want my mate's eggs to "expire" (as you called it) before we build our family, amongst other things.
Oh, and I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that I'd really like to meet my grandchildren before I die. So, the clock is ticking for me, too. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/5/2007 7:28:40 PM | woops - guess I should have read your statement more clearly!
Older women have a lot more to offer, maturity for one. An older woman who has actually experienced life and has her head screwed on straight - is less likely going to have a boyfriend while she is married. And older woman is more likely going to take her choices more seriously. My mom had me when she was 36, my sister had her last kid in her 30's - nothing wrong with it - but both are in stable committed loving relationships...
maybe a lot of us older women are single, because we cannot find mature enough men?
Our eggs might be sitting on the shelf too long, but we are going to be a lot more picky on who is going to have a crack at the last ones... | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/5/2007 8:22:08 PM | I never wanted kids, but I've always said even if I did want them, I'd have them before 40, and if I didn't have them by 40, forget it.
I've been saying this since my early 20's and of course I got flack for it. "When you are 40, you won't feel it's too old." I was told.
Well, guess what? I am 38 and still feel that way. I feel stronger than ever about it. | |
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| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/5/2007 9:02:11 PM | | Well whatever floats your boat - different people have control over their own destiny's and who is to say the other is wrong - what is right for you - may not be right for others... | |
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