| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/6/2007 3:27:38 PM | I had health issues that barred anymore baby bearing for me @ age 30. I'll be around 50 when the last gorgeous child is officially an adult.
I'm curious about the other side though. What if I meet the man of my dreams, he has no kids, & I can't? I realize that will be a stressful time looking ahead. | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/6/2007 3:45:51 PM | well i'll be 33 next week and so far no children!
Not because of career or anythin like that but because i havent found the right man yet!
Im aware my clock is tickin but then i dont wanna have a baby for sake of it lol
So i hope i meet a guy and do have a family but id like it be late 30s god willin.
If it doesnt happen, it doesnt happen.
All the women in my family had kids from late 20s to late 30s its a trend lol x
I think havin kids younger has its advantages the same as havin them when your older.
Its a personal choice, circumstances, etc.
It all comes down to personal preference and sometimes things that happen unplanned lol x | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/6/2007 5:58:45 PM |
I didn't have a choice.
After 2 extremely difficult pregnancies in my 20's,I was diagnosed with
endometriosis,had to have an ovary removed,and was advised by the specialist
not to have anymore children.
Would have liked to have had a third child,but,it wasn't meant to be.
My cousin tried to have kids with her partner for at least 10 years (many miscarriages) till she had her only child and he is her little miracle.
She is still with her partner and they have been together for at least 25 years now | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/11/2007 1:13:54 PM |
Exactly my point! I, as a man, can have children for quite a while. But, I was heavily criticized about my profile when I indicate that I'm looking for someone younger than I am. Nothing against older women--there are a lot of nice ones out there. But, one of my big goals in life is to start a family, and I can't do that alone. I just don't want my mate's eggs to "expire" (as you called it) before we build our family, amongst other things.
Actually, studies are showing that men's sperm starts to degrade around 35, and that may also be the reason for miscarriages and birth defects, not just a woman's older eggs. So you don't have a lot of time either if you want to help ensure having healthy babies. But, new studies are also shwoing that women may not have been born with all the egss they'd ever have. Also, there are no guarantees that anyone will be able to have a child, regardless of how young and healthy they are. For some, even if things all look good and work well, they just can't get pregnant.
A family isn't synonymous with biological; raising children, loving them, teaching them, etc., is what makes a family. And many people have done that all on their own because their partner left, died, or they never found the right one...even sinlge men have done it; they used a surrogate or adopted. | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/11/2007 10:43:46 PM | | I didn't know it was a matter of "getting it over with". Shame when people get it over with the wrong partner - and then the kids don't get to live with both their parents. | |
|
| |
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/13/2007 10:53:48 AM |
Actually, studies are showing that men's sperm starts to degrade around 35, and that may also be the reason for miscarriages and birth defects, not just a woman's older eggs. So you don't have a lot of time either if you want to help ensure having healthy babies. But, new studies are also shwoing that women may not have been born with all the egss they'd ever have. Also, there are no guarantees that anyone will be able to have a child, regardless of how young and healthy they are. For some, even if things all look good and work well, they just can't get pregnant.
Great--you really made my day.... NOT. I know that there is always a danger that a couple just couldn't have children. And, I will say 1000% that if my mate was not able to have children, I would still stick by her and I wouldn't leave just because of that. True love isn't just about someone's abilities to provide for the dreams of their mate--it's also about commitment. And, I for one like to think I'm a very committed person! | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 10/13/2007 11:07:10 AM | because of the labor alone i'm done! There is no way i would repeat carrying around all that weight and then expelling a 9 plus pound baby naturally .. i feel too old to do this anymore
i shall happilyand lovingly raise my current cubbies til i can kick them out lol
however there is always the possibility i meet someone who has kids to raise.. i have zero qualms with this.. family is family :) | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/23/2007 8:41:34 PM | | ok spidy woman you speak with fork tongue profile says you are 34 not 33 gee you knocking off years already lmao | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/23/2007 11:49:42 PM | I'm 41 and would like to plan to have one...I could deal with a second one on an unplanned basis but that would be it. Snip, snip...
If it happens then I'll be very happy but it isn't a condition on me finding a mate. The child, should one come, would be a product of that love, not a reason to find a mate in the first place. | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/24/2007 10:27:55 AM | Yin: ~~~I had my third and last child at age 32, eleven years ago. The boys are working hard to be out of the house within months, and in the wink of an eye, my beautiful daughter will be in college. Had I delayed children, I suppose I'd be a high-priced consultant in a big engineering firm by now, instead of managing civil projects for a small town.....
Yang: ~~~My sister is 40 and pregnant, and having a difficult time. She had to be sewn shut last week to keep from losing the baby, was ordered not to work anymore, and prescribed strict bedrest. She was pregnant with twins last year and lost them both. If she loses this one, that's it. The Christmas party at her place is on hold indefinitely. Her and her hubby have wonderful careers, though. | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/24/2007 11:41:48 AM | I was determined to have all my kids by age 30. I wanted to do it while I was at a ripe age, and had a relatively clean genetic partner. I did it. I am 36 now and dont think it would be a good idea for me to get pregnant again, but if the right guy came a long tomorrow (i.e. sooner rather than later), I might consider it seeing how my youngest is still 7.
That said, I can't wait til my kids are 18! I'll be 47 then, and dont particularly want to be in my 50's when my kids are still in gradeschool. | |
|
| |
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/24/2007 2:52:20 PM | | I'd say whatever works well for you and your partner. I thought I had control over those type of decisions years ago. But turned I actually didn't. So I never got married nor had children. If you are able to manage when you bear children in an organized manner to coordinate with a career and other interests then you really can't ask for any more than that. If you can start as early as possibly. That way you can get it over with. At least that is how I thought. But it didn't work for me. The trend is women are waiting until later now to have children and a family. I think women can bare children up to their mid forties. Maybe later. | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/24/2007 5:48:31 PM |
Really, I have to find a woman with whom I'm willing to have kids. That's why on my profile, I have it listed as "Undecided/Open."
In that case you should have "Want kids - yes" in your profile and not "undecided/open"
I am 38, my daughter is 17 and there is no way under the sun I would ever consider any more.
Men around my age very often do not have kids or have very young kids or want more kids - none of which appeals to me.
Hmmmm. | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/24/2007 6:08:05 PM |
I am 38, my daughter is 17 and there is no way under the sun I would ever consider any more.
you could consider adoption maybe?
I also think like
1. I definitelly want to have kids, minimum 2, but 3 or more even better.
2. if the One whom I will meet I hope soon cannot have or doesn't want own children, adoption is a good option.
There are many poor kids in poor conditions that grow up without parents...
Children are children that need good parents, it's all the same basically if DNA-genetically they are yours or not.
In so many cases the children are completely opposites of their parents even if you have genetical kids.
How you raise them counts more... | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/25/2007 3:33:19 AM |
you could consider adoption maybe?
Sorrry but which part of my statement "I do not want more children" justifies your comment? | |
|
| |
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/25/2007 7:43:45 AM | Yang: ~~~My sister is 40 and pregnant, and having a difficult time. She had to be sewn shut last week to keep from losing the baby, was ordered not to work anymore, and prescribed strict bedrest. She was pregnant with twins last year and lost them both. If she loses this one, that's it. The Christmas party at her place is on hold indefinitely. Her and her hubby have wonderful careers, though.
But none of your sisters problems are necessarily age related. Two of my children were born in my 20's the last one in my 30's and I had BIG problems with all three. First one born at 25 weeks the second one was on bed rest from 20 weeks on (I almost went insane!!!!). So, her problems could just be her body, not her age.
Jeez, smilinglaughing, she made it quite clear she wants NO MORE KIDS. PERIOD. Why are you trying to convince her/push her to get more? she even said she doesn't want a man with small children. There are plenty of women who want more kids. it seems strange you picked this one woman to pick on and try to convince she is wrong. She has every right to want to be finished. | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/25/2007 9:56:15 AM |
You don't have to go through the "9 months project" besides you can skip the first few years of the most demanding baby period.
The advantage is you don't exclude "real love" just because he wants kids.
Also, it is great to have children, and because you are 38 it doesn't mean you should consider yourself as too old for another one.
Maybe some children out there in Columbia or Laos or elsewhere need YOU exactly!
It's only good for you if you are flexible enough to reconsider your statement
Not saying you should 100%, but at least think about all the options
My statement "I do not want more children" means just that - no idea what do you read into that with your winks and other emoticons in your post?
As simple as that - I do not want more children, full stop.
it is great to have kids - amazing statement coming from someone who does not have kids themselves refering to/giving advice to someone who already does.
I never said I feel too old to have children.
I only said I do not want more children.
The advantage is you don't exclude "real love" just because he wants kids
"Just"????? - sorry but are you insane? "Just"?
Sorry, I have no words to comment on this one - not to someone who has no kids, has no idea what raising kids is about etc
Jesussssssssssssssssssss, how difficult is that to understand, accept and respect someone's decision?
***************
A Sweet Fishy - thanks, I though I was going mad wondering what is there to understand about my statement. | |
|
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/25/2007 12:58:07 PM | Without wanting to point out the bleeding obvious have you considered that smiling laughing may have a particular interest in you hence him attempting to change your mind on the child issue?  | |
|
| |
| finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 12/25/2007 2:21:10 PM | I will start my family with the right man. I always use condoms! Given myself to 41. No regrets as I have never wanted an unplanned child with a man who did not want to.
Peoples lives are different, there is no one rule for everyone ! I am happy, confident and independent and not prepared to be on the dough ! | |
|
| |
| |
Home
login 
