| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 5:18:51 AM | normal and respectable. You know what you need to satisfy you and that involves emotions. Many peple take a lifetime to figure this out...You are very normal, and that is good...
Just remember everyone is different and figures that out at different times in their lives, no matter what age.
Your friend will realize this eventually, and if the girls are willing to participate I see no one getting hurt...
Let sleeping dogs lie  | |
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| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 5:23:14 AM | Some people are simply driven by primal urges and can keep their emotions in check to get what they desire and that is just the sex to get off!! So what it's a personal decision and not to be judged by others! Sometimes you are just not sure what you are capable of and what you might do - so never say never! | |
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| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 5:44:39 AM | | it all depends on what the two individuals are seeking!.....i have a bonk buddy situation with a great lady and it works fine,she is a busy professional career woman and has no time or want for a full-on relationship but has urges and sexual needs like all of us,and i am happy being single and free and dont want to feel owned in any way....so we get together about once every month and go out and have dinner and a few drinks or whatever then we settle in for the night and bonk each others brains out !...it,s great we use each other physically and have no problem with it.then we go about our daily business untill the next time with only a phone call here and there in the meantime to stay in touch.......works fine ,no problem!....for some people this situation is all they want and need....it mostly is an ideal arrangment for mature people,say fortyish and up as they usually have been married and divorced and dont want to go down the commitment highway again......thats my two cents worth anyway! | |
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| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 5:56:31 AM | | Along with that whole men can have sex with no emotional attachment when younger and women when older... can't remember the exact wording, but I dunno if it is true or not, but I've been told that men hit thier sexual peak around 19 and women around 32 so that might be the answer to that question. | |
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| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 6:10:07 AM | ~~"In my experiences here on good 'ol POF, I have discovered through talking to some guys that there are a lot of easy women on here. They do and will sleep with a guy on the first meeting."
~~"Sex with no attachment is a male behavior. Rarely meet females that can do it but tons of males that have no problem with it."
Well I had a friend on here a while back who was more like the first statement. She had many dates, and slept with most of them. She actually was shocked when I told her I'd been here about 2 months and had NOT slept with anyone, even though I've been on a few dates.
I think the person who talked about 'using sex' was on the right track. For women(mostly can't speak for what goes on in a mans head LOL) the reasons they might sleep around are far different then a mans. There's the need for physical release yes, but also the need to feel 'loved' 'sexy' 'attractive' etc. It's filling an emotional void for that person. Very few women that I know who are or were sexually 'open' have done it with out trying to make themselves feel better in some way. So there again u can not say that emotion was left out of it.
Just mho from what I've observed.
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| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 6:29:19 AM | | I went through a period of casual sex after my first relationship broke up (which included my "first time"), and I thought I was willing to do anything to feel a woman's presence even for a short while. I actually found I didn't...last as long compared to someone I connected with more than physically. That realisation got my head on straight, and now I know what I want. Sex is a poor substitute for love. | |
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| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 6:36:01 AM | I guess it depends on what you define attachment as... no attachment doesnt mean no attraction though. If you were on a first date and found the person really sexually attractive, why wouldnt you want to sleep with them? To some extent you have formed an attachment because if they were to reject you, or go hit on someone else, you would be hurt. It is sort of like lust and love for me. I can meet someone and feel lust straight away... think "dang I cant wait to get you in bed!".
Sometimes, especially for people just coming out of relationships, the idea of falling in love and getting burnt can be daunting, so sometimes it is easier to have no strings sex...
Thats my two cents.... | |
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| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 9:38:00 AM |
The puzzle here is how can an adult human being be so ignorant of their own sexuality as to equate sex with love and physical acts with emotional intimacy?
Because, emotions are feelings that manifest physically. You "feel" joy, ecstacy, happiness, anger, disappointment, etc. physically...they impact your physical being. I think some people get confused about 'total' emotional intimacy, which to me means you're sharing and/or experiencing emotions together (and to do that you have to spend time together and share different situations in life), versus 'selective' emotional intimacy, i.e., "let's just share the 'feelings' we have during sex, and not share emotions that deal with the rest of life." Just because you've shared a few emotions during sex doesn't mean you're in love, even though some of those emotions are associated with love. Emotions are kinda like prescription drugs...they aren't limited to just one situation. | |
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| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 10:18:56 AM | | Well, coming from a wild and crazy lifestyle when I was younger, where I was accused of having more of a male perspective on sex, I can tell you that I honestly like it better the way I am, then the way I was. I found that it was rather confusing because sometimes, no matter how hard I tried to keep my heart out of it, the more I slept with someone, the more I got attached. I finally realized that for me, my body and my heart are attached, and that having sex with someone is like giving them a special gift. Does this mean that I don’t like sex anymore? Nope…I just pick a man who matches my degree of desire, who is as open minded as I am, and who by his actions and words demonstrate that he is also looking to develop something more. | |
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| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 4:53:38 PM | did you cry when you saw Titanic ??? Im 27 and I cant commit until I have sex with them which is usually the case...I only had sex with 5 girls my entire life I guess you can say Im picky | |
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| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 5:28:34 PM | I know a guy who not only have sex without any attachent feels but he can also cheat at his girlfriend without any sort of remorse.
Lot people just don't give a damn about others. In fact they think they are better when others are not goin' well! You know those good old aszholes alway trying to hurt or diminish others! | |
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| how do some people have sex with no attachment?
Posted: 3/8/2007 5:30:44 PM | | I think it's a little different for me, and by all means, if anyone is similiar to this let me know. I don't have emotionless, detatched sex. When I am with someone, I am with them 100% for that timeframe that we are together. I am, however, for the most part able to turn those feelings off afterward. This, as you can well imagine, has lead to some hard feelings in the past. I can explain to a woman that I am not interested in anything more than sex, and do not want a mate or any type of relationship, and they will agree or say that's okay. But, because I am very loving and passionate DURING the act, it has lead to several women believeing that I am in love with them or that this time was different and he wants to settle down with me or stay around. | |
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