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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 10/29/2007 5:19:57 PM | I had a similar situation. I had moved into a new house with my ex-wife and her sister 3 months before she came out of the closet and started dating a woman. The house was far from ready to sell...we didn't even have grass or a sidewalk yet  I ended up living in the same house with her (separate bedrooms of course) for over a year before the house was ready to sell. Some women I met could understand my situation but most would just walk away. Now the house is sold and I am living in another country...talk about going from one extreme to another...LOL | |
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miss13
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Joined: 10/26/2007
Msg: 53 | |
| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 10/29/2007 5:33:40 PM |
I've been with their mother for the past 8 years, and we've since parted ways, after a long affectionless, and cold relationship. It’s for the best! She's good poeple, and remains one of my very best friends.
Strange--unless you like cold people...
I don't really get out much, because I have my kids a lot
should say: I really don't get out much because I have my kids and their mother full time...
Hot damn--all that and a pink suit.... | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 10/29/2007 5:39:08 PM | "I've convinced myself that my social life will just have to be put on hold till we work it out, and thats a sacrifice I'm making for the well being of my family."
Most definitely your social life needs to be put on hold. | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 10/29/2007 6:53:04 PM | | No. Sort of did that and won't again. I met a guy once and then he told me he was living at his exes until he got his own place. He was off work for awhile on workers comp. and just got back to work before I met him. Well, he wouldn't call or talk on the phone while he was there. He said it was out of respect for her. As soon as that red flag popped up, I said see ya. | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 10/29/2007 7:46:10 PM | I give you respect for trying to do the right thing by your kid's,and their mother.
But there is no way I could do what your doing,thats way too much drama for me.
I hope all the good things in the universe, and earth see what you are doing. And pay you back with extremely good karma! Cheers! | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 10/29/2007 7:58:05 PM | Your wife doesnt want a divorce...what she wants is all the support , financial and emotional from you, wants you to be the best friend etc etc.with the option of buggering off when she finds something better. If you are getting divorced..get divorced ..You are being a sap by providing all the security of husband when she needs it but without the hassles..toss her out and get on with your life..This is divorce which means just that..end it, let her get on with her own life and you with yours..
An of course no girl would date you under those circumstances because we all know you are getting the occasional comfort piece ( dont lie) ... and if you arent now, the minute you she finds out you have a date..she will shag you to keep you in control...then when the threat is gone..start the game again.. She may not want to be with you but damn if you are going to get another girl as it will mess with her cosy setup.. she will pee on your leg to mark her territory then cough a fur ball.. | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 10/29/2007 8:06:15 PM | | I am going to give you a different type of advice. Get her out of the house, now. There are reasons why you are no longer together. She probably manipulates you, or you probably have this and that bad habit, this that the other. What is going on is that people that were together know how to push each other buttons quite well. And unless you want to find yourself in a very uncomfortable place, for the sake of the kids, the dog, the goldfish, there will always be another excuse. So, if you want to start a new life, she ships out. Period. Otherwise, you are back to the old times. And you don't want to admit it. | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 10/30/2007 7:52:37 AM | OP in a world where most people seem to be only interested in what is best for themselves you are not typical and I congradulate you and your exwife!!! There are many people that say "My kids come first" but then do things just make themselves happy. There is a difference between doing what is best for yourself and doing what is right. Doing what is right isn't always fun!!!!!
If you are honest with a person you would want to date and explain your situation I don't see anything wrong with it. You just need to accept the fact that most, if not all the women you talk to, don't want to get involved with someone in your situation. You have to respect their right not to date you just as you have respected your childrens interests and the repect you have shown your exwife. A lot of people would lie to get what they want. I have a theory that "Bad guys get laid, good guys get screwed".
Good luck to you and remain a good guy. | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 10/30/2007 6:48:13 PM |
Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
I think this is the only time that I have been able to answer a forum question with one word: no
But I would like to add that it's awesome that you and your ex have such a comfortable relationship. After hearing so many divorce horror stories, it is refreshing to hear that it can happen civily. Congrats to you for being a decent guy. | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 10/30/2007 7:01:30 PM | I actually dated a guy who was divorced. They owned a duplex (upstairs/downstairs). She got the place in the divorce, he "rented" the downstairs while making the mortgage payments, utility payments, etc. They shared in the care of their daughter.
He was a great guy. She was a busybody and always "needed" something when I was there. It was a little too much for me.
So, been there, done that - got the t-shirt, but she got the house. | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 10/31/2007 2:18:16 PM | Not even drunk....
Why? Several things you mentioned in your situation....
1) If she needed anything, you would do it for her
Sounds like there is still too much of an emotional attachment there and three is a crowd.
2) You have 7 year old kids
Living with your ex is confusing to children. Every child wants mom and dad to get back together. You are giving them hope that may happen by continuing to act like a "husband" but the only thing that has changed is that you are in the next room (or so you say). You have not drawn clear boundaries.
3) You are setting everyone up for failure.
See # 2 and add that these kids are going to resent anyone who threatens their hope that mom and dad may get back together.
Divorce means to separate. I'm asking myself, why, if your relationship is so amicable, and "you would do anything for her", you couldn't work things out "for the sake of the kids"? | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 11/1/2007 11:41:49 AM | Like all the other posters... not in this lifetime!
A re-tap is the easiest tap for one!
Hard enough meeting someone that is not over their ex let alone one that still lives with them. Until, for me, a woman has moved on with her life (and #1 is out of the same home) I will never date her. Will not date someone that is separated or recently broke up from a long term relationship, way too much drama!
By living with your ex and the kids, no woman will have a chance to get close and you are under suspicion of actually being divorced! | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 11/1/2007 3:57:17 PM | | Why are these exs following you is it that they havent done enough or theyt are not thur with the realtionship. I was never divorced but if i was my wife would go to hell before i let her back in i dont care if she had to sleep on the street. | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 11/1/2007 5:02:59 PM | I wouldn't bring another women home just out of respect for my sons and their mom, but damn a man has needs .
Reminds me of a joke.
Cops get a call about a guy in a field... "doin' it to a pumpkin"..... So they go to check it out.
As they're approaching, they notice the dude is pretty wasted... but he's goin' at this pumpkin like there's no tomorrow....
As the cops come up behind him and ask him why he's screwin' a pumpkin, he replies
"Oh! It's midnight already?"
Yah, a man has needs Dawg..... Get yourself a pumpkin and leave the ladies alone til your ex moves out.
bullie | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 11/1/2007 5:33:38 PM | OP...It is all about maturity....see my ex was having a hard time after his divorced this last time ....because the grass was not greener on the other side ....he did not have a place to stay and just so his kids would not see him homeless ...when he came to me to ask if he could stay with the boys (not me) until he could get things in order...I said sure...he paid half of everything...slept upstairs with his sons....never intered my space....and it worked....he brought his new gf to meet me and we became very good friends...also...I was upfront with my date before hand...but I would also tell my ex to make plans and leave for ever how long I needed him to be gone...and he would take my sons and they would do things and give me my space....It worked out great...and when I went on vacation to Florida...He came back and stayed at my house with the boys while I was away.....we have been divorced for 6 yrs and we have not slept togehter since he left 6yrs ago....we dont look at each other that way and I have no desire to be with him....It has not always been this way....but you have to put all the past behind and move on...and if you love your kids and are a good parent you will do what ever it takes to make their life more pleasant......It is good for the kids to see that mom and dad can be friends....and not act stupid....hang in there ...you will meet the right lady and she will be mature enough to understand.......but please always be honest about your situation....good luck and God Bless.... | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 11/2/2007 7:38:38 AM | | You want people to belive that nothing is happening when an exs lives with you in the same house and its just for the childeren. Now people have a good idea what goes on behind closed doors when a man and a women live together it dont mater if they are in just a realtionship or married or FWB we all know what happens. Now you have your ex living with you and you say nothing is happen but that is very hard to belive as we have no idea about what happens behind your doors we just know what happens with couples. Now you get upset with your SO cause he finds that hard to belive people cheat people lie so why let your self get into that postion your SO knows you have to deal with exs but this is kind of extrem. | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 11/2/2007 10:51:23 AM | | I have to agree on not living together with an ex. I don't know it's so much a trust issue as it is respect for the S/O . I just don't think it is fair ................... Time to move on. | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 11/2/2007 11:24:35 AM | Well ... I would date you IF you were up front with me about it from the beginning AND I was invited to your house to meet her and see the situation for myself. I would probably be a bit concerned but depending on how you dealt with the situation would show me whether my worries were warranted or not.
You letting her stay there shows me that you're a caring person ... not only thinking of yourself. And that, in a man and a potential partner is an amazing quality! | |
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| Would u date someone that lived w/ their Ex-wife.
Posted: 11/3/2007 7:02:03 AM | OP~~~~Not only is it about being a mature adult...it is also about having control over your emotions....Just because you and your ex is helping each other out does not mean your sleeping together...It can work...I am prime example of that..I really dont care what other people think...I know in my heart what is going on behind my doors..and so do you.....and that is all that matters...As a matter of fact I have a male friend that we go out to dinner and he has met my ex and he understands.....now if we decide to take our friendship a step higher then I will have to make the proper arrangements and I have talked about that with my friend ....so just be honest with the ladies and you will find one that will trust and understand....Have a blessed day | |
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