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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:36:32 PM |
Please do RUN if you meet someone with bi-polar or borderline personality disorder. RUN as fast as you can & don't look back! Sure they need love like everyone else, but let it be from a family member and not a love interest.
What lovely advice.....so they should be denied any sort future with anyone?
I am truly sorry if I offended anyone here with bi-polar or borderline personality disorder. To those who commented about me yall are completely right in saying I shouldn't stereotype and shun people with these conditions. What I meant to say and what I should of said is that you should RUN if you date someone who has these conditions and don't get treatment or refuse to acknowledge their condition. To anyone who has any of these two conditions, IF you are aware of your condition and you're getting treatment for it I stand up and applaud you.
Changed your mind did you? Sorry to single you out, there are a lot of posts in this thread that are pretty disturbing, to me that first comment stuck out the most.
Bipolar is generally different for everyone who has it. I am bipolar and I've dated someone else who was. We were NOTHING alike as far as that goes....she had other problems too along with it though.
Most of what I hear(from this site)...all these "crazy" stories, are from people who were with someone who had other problems too...not just bipolar disorder.
But, a majority of people here(offline too)don't seem to consider that. They in fact do what you suggest....run. Probably because of a story they heard, or something to that effect. That sure does make a positive future for us that do have the disorder under control doesn't it?
Personally, I've gotten pretty tired of that....it's one of the reasons I don't really date anymore. It's a let down to see that not much has changed with the way other people view the ones with the disorder. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:50:17 PM | I feel for you girl, I do. My ex b/f was very similar in his moods. He did seek help, became a very balanced person. We've remained friends. 2 weeks ago he went back on his " I'm the victim" ordeal. Doesn't trust anyone. Off his meds. And no longer seeing his psychologist for Psychotherapy(for behavior changes).
Your either there or not. It's not easy with anyone with complications(oh yeah, that would be humans), especially when it comes to eradicate mood swings. When you love or care for someone, you call yourself their friend or whatever term you wish to you. Then you should be there, in my opinion. They too need help and support in maintaining a healthy, balanced life. This will be a lifelong battle, for both individuals. You to being in his life, and he for continuing to seek the help to keep him on track.
He may very well never trust women due to his upbringing of sisters with faithful complications. I still really believe if he seeks professional help and gets on appropriate medications, that he may be able to work through things..In time..
Best of Luck
Peace (ful) | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/11/2007 2:28:33 AM | Ravager says the TRUTH!!! It is utter PREJUDICE against people with
mental disorders...Bipolar disorder comes in many many levels...
From Extreme to soft bipolar...and people whose diagnoses who are solely with bipolar disorder, do NOT have the behavior traits of someone with
"Borderline Personailty Disorder"...Geeeeezus...you know Ravager goes into it,
it is this wound, that "we" fight...we have our DISEASES behind us totally under control, we are more functionable and aware than the bulk of you but, we get thumped from your IGNORANCE....we get HURT from "you" all of you who think so stupidly..
and yes I have the disease of Bipolar disorder and for the first time in my life I am proud of that and I will add...The OP's opening is BS, she is with a guy, with a completely screwed up "personality", nothing to do with Bipolar disorder...
THANK YOU Ravager...and don't let the ignorance deter you from dating...I did let it get to me for awhile, but hang in there...you will see there are a few out there, who don't DISCRIMINATE against you...I live by this, anyone who discriminates against me, isn't worth someone like me and anyways, I don't want to pay for a date with a prejudice, ignoramus...lol... | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/11/2007 2:51:09 AM | | Aw im so sorry you have been going through such a very difficult time. I am a foster carer looking after teenagers with all sorts of problem and i have looked after 2 with bi polar mood disorder or manic depressive or what ever you like to call it. We all have a bit of it in us apparently. Igot lots of imformation by going into google and getting info from there. The person who i looked after with this is 32 now he has problems with relationships you can be more manic or more depressive he was more manic and most of the time was so funny i loved him but my god when he was on a downer it was so difficult post back to me if you like if not thats ok i wish u luck all the best carol | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/11/2007 3:24:05 AM | thank you for the kind words...The severity and the bipolarity of the moods
is unique to the recipient of the disorder...Some people don't react to medications
and then there are those who never get diagnosed because people are under the false impression that the disorder is solely linked to the old school word of Manic Depression...There is Bipolar 1 disorder, Bipolar 2 disorder and soft Bipolar disorder and!! another one which has a funny name that I can't remember, where the persons mood can change very, very rapidly and erratically...
So many people think Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder {BPD} are one of the same that is utter nonsense.... A urban myth that some how started....
I studied Psychology in College and have read scores of papers and articles on BPD and bipolar disorder... I am a fully functional, stable "successful" human being....
I have had long term live in relationships, I have worked my arce off and studied many many things also, I have dated well, a few girls in the last couple of years...it has been fun actually...lol...and I have made rock solid freinds off of this site as well...
So, getting back to your former foster son, there is the obvious abuse he must have
suffered from home or, he wouldn't have been in a foster home...That is where his problems with relationships are rooted...With the given meds and basic mind techniques used to control moods and reactions to them should suffice for most
people these days that is, if and only if the person, is willing to work at it...and once you get it down it is easy, the hard part is the ignorance that comes with it, from society....the disorder is a piece of cake compared to that... | |
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Posted: 4/11/2007 3:40:07 AM | I speak as someone with a fair amount of knowledge of bi polar disorder. My mother was bipolar and i am now a mental health worker caring for people with bipolar and schizophrenia. These are both severe mental illness`s. Bi polar manifests in different ways and severity. In some people depression is more prominent, in others its the highs or mania. Mania is NOT someone being loving and happy as you are describing. It can manifests as spending like there is no tomorrow, dancing/skipping in the street, being sexually uninhibited and therefore putting yourself in risk of stds, increased and rapid speech, coming up with grandoise creative projects and ideas, the list goes on. My ex husband was very much like your bloke, very moody, but i knew he wasnt bi polar he was just personality disorded.
If he does want to come back then give him an ultimatum.... that he gets a diagnosis and if it is bipolar he accepts the treatment which isnt that bad, in simple terms its just a salt to regulate the chemisty of the brain. Good luck | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/11/2007 4:12:34 AM | Good to see someone is being sane about this..
I thought your reply was spot on.. I work as a psychiatric nurse and what you were saying about rationality and a bit of slack for the mentally ill was quite touching.. Its very easy for people to give advice and there was a couple of people on this forum who after viewing a few web pages on bi-polar were talking like experts.. Phew.. Can be very damaging.. Glad that U were on here to add factual stuff.. And u are right.. We all do have a bit of BPD in us..
Regards.. Pete.. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/11/2007 6:14:53 AM | Dear e7997, I for one can tell you a lot about bi-polar relations based up on my 5 years plus relationship with one. This is what i recommend; First tell yourself (even if it's going to hurt) that this person is no longer the person you love. Consider that person (the one you fell in love with) dead!!! I know it's hard but that is the only logical course to adopt. If you don't that person will drag you down. Second know that even in the best case scenario (and that means that the person is under medical treatment psychotherapy, medication etc) it is now a known fact that it take on average 8 years to find the proper "mix" of medication just to stabilize the patient, and even if it's successful it is only partial. Most of the patient under medication will begin to feel a lot better with a lot less high and lows (mod swings) but still they will remain unpredictable and wide open for High/Low relapse. And that really means that they will make you suffer. In the High period they will manipulate you into believing that everything is possible, they will spend like crazy and when they hit the Low phase they will fell confuse not up to par and they will be depress. Third guess what? Well they will cheat and lie and be totally irresponsible, they will pick fights for no reasons and yes they will feel paranoid. Like if all of this is not enough, often they will mix medication and a few drinks or have the occasional Joint and my god you are in for a total lost of control.
Bi Polarity is the worst condition a lover can make endure. They now have support group, but it doesn't seem to change the outcome. I am truly sorry that you have to go with one of these. My advise is to let go, for not saying Run out of this relationship before it's to late, and that yourself begin to need professional help. I feel for you and believe me I have been there! | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/11/2007 6:23:11 AM | I had a relationship with someone for 2 years who had been diagnosed as bi-polar, then as having bpd then Post-traumatic-stress disorder and has now been diagnosed as there being nothing wrong with her apart from attention seeking. I am still good friends with her (we didn't split because of the illness btw) and it is still very difficult for her, and me. Sometimes she can be as nice as pie and others, i'm the devil in disguise. But the way i see it is that she doesn't mean what she says, its the illness taking over. She's on and off her medication because of the diagnosis' and that doesnt help her.
Going back to the original statement...
Medication does help, and i think most people that have this understand that, but until they're on the medication they dont realise how different they can be.. it all seems normal to them. i also think a lot of people are scared of going to get a diagnosis because they'll then be labelled with the stigma of a mental disease. If he does contact you, please try and persuade him just to go to a doctor, it can be a long slog, some doctors i've dealt with with my friend seem to know less than a lot of laymen, but her current one, and one she had when she was first diagnosed have been brilliant.
i wish you all the luck, and dont get disheartened. Its hard going but he needs your love as much as you need his
good luck..
colin | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:46:53 AM | Bipolar DISORDER is a chemical imbalance that manifests itself in behavioral problems. That isn't the same as a mental illness such as schizophrenia [which, by the way one of my bipolar children does suffer from in addition to her bipolar disorder]. Yes it is serious, but cut these people some slack. I have 37 years of experience dealing with bipolars - two of them are my children.
If everyone thought the way most of you appear to think - that they are to be ran out on and abandoned because of this chemical imbalance - I would not have the two beautiful grandchildren that I have. My son's wife has seen him at his best and at his worse. She knew going in exactly what it would be like to stay with my son. She is the Godsend who loves him in spite of the disorder.
Famous bipolars include: Alvin Ailey, Buzz Aldrin, Axle Rose, ned Beatty, Richard Cavett, Rosemary Clooney, Francis Ford Coppola, Patty Duke, Robert Evans, Carrie Fisher, Graham Greene, Linda Hamilton, Moss Hart, Robert Lowell, Thomas Jefferson, Hans Christian Anderson, Jack London, Mozart, Art Buchwald, Winston Churchill, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Ted Turner, Jean Claude Van Damme, Victor Hugo, Robert E Lee, Abraham Lincoln, Tennessee Williams, Francis Scavullo - The list goes on. Their contributions to society are, well - stellar. And they had the love and encouragement of their spouses and friends, which helped them to achieve.
and last but not least - here is a link by professionals about dating bipolars:
bipolar.about.com/od/socialissues/a/datingtips.htm | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/11/2007 3:57:40 PM | Scintillating says: "If everyone thought the way most of you appear to think - that they are to be ran out on and abandoned because of this chemical imbalance - I would not have the two beautiful grandchildren that I have"
Her posting is the most knowledgeable that i have seen on this thread coupled with another posting form a brother of mine from the US...I want to open from thanking you for making me feel a little better today...It is very upsetting to see such IGNORANCE...why can people except, Diabetes being more severe with others but not Bipolar disorder???...It is because you have all fallen for the "hype" you are blinded from your own prejudices against the mentally ill....
Which raises the question, what is really insane? I think being ignorant and full of judgemental perceptions is far more insane and dangerous than any episode i have ever experienced due to having the disease of Bipolar mood disorder...
I will add this about Borderline Personality Disorder...We all have BPD traits...
They are called Cluster " B" traits...We all have them, they have to be long lasting and severe to fit the criteria of BPD...Also, people can and do make FULL recoveries from this disorder and I will add they need peoples UNDERSTANDING in order to recover
People who suffer from BPD are primarily women from sexually abusive upbringings.
So, is that their fault??? What do we as a society do, with people who were "raped" of their childhoods and want to get well??? Run away from them and don't look back??? ...I coincendentally made friends with someone with BPD and you can develop a strong close relationship with someone who has BPD, even when they are not in treatment...
I go off of hands on experience and also, i have one of the top Bipolar Specialists in North America as my Dr..... He tours and lectures internationally....and shares my views especially, with the sustaining ignorance from society towards people like myself....Quit generalizing, I still here it in your postings...You have an experience with someone who has Bipolar disorder, that doesn't mean that everyone you meet who has this disorder will be like that..i know of people with Bipolar disorder who are way more severe than i am...I know others who are not as severe as I am...
What do you know??...we all are individuals after all....surprised?
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/11/2007 4:18:36 PM | e7997...as a matter of fact..I do know alot about bipolar. Of the comments that you've made, this is my take....bipolar does not make someone cheat....being raised in the environment u described however, might. Untreated bi polar disorder does affect a person's moods however, most adults only experience seasonal cycling and cycling from big life change. Children on the other hand, cycle rapidly and the mood swings are more evident. You don't say whether or not he has been properly diagnosed or even if he has ever been on meds....the mood swings that you describe could be related to bipolar disorder, or they could be that he is an ill mannered buffoon! I have had many instances in which someone was guilty of ...whatever....and they would try to turn the tables and have a temper tantrum to take the focus off the real issue. As far as the things you 'did' for him that he didn't appreciate....girl...that's your bad....not the mama. It may be good for both of you if you got a job outside of the home so that you could have some outside interests as well as financial options.....just my opinion. There is tons of info on the web about bipolar disorder...what kinda shocks me is how many people on these forums blame so many different things on bipolar disorder....is this the new trendy disorder? Doesn't sound like the relationship has been that great...sounds like alot of tension....think long and hard about taking him back...like an old Eagles song said, 'People change rarely if they ever change at all. Good Luck! | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/11/2007 4:51:33 PM | Ralph 1972 says: "The sad truth about dating an UNTREATED "BPD"
There are lots of you out there who are mistaking the abbreviation of BPD
for Bi- Polar-Disorder...when BPD is NOT bipolar disorder...
it is BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER....
Geeeeeeeeeezus!!!...and Ralph....there is some validity in your words..but...you are coming across like it is a "bipolar" person you dealt with...you got flamed at from a very nice young woman...Geeeezus...
Yes, without treatment sadly enough in many cases of Borderline Personality Disorder, you get very "hurt" in the relationship due to their abandonment "wounds"
they carry from being so abused as kids...Don't take a person who is obviously mentally ill so literally...What the hek is wrong with "you" to get yourself that involved and then go back to her???????...Look up "co-dependence" or Peter pan syndrome, you are NOT the victim baby..she is....figure it out...
src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_OO.gif border=0>  
Edit: Can we use a little more tact when dealing with others who would like to express their ideas and thoughts in this thread. Nothing is wrong with any of you but there could be if this turns into flaming.
JACLM | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:26:01 PM | Op:
got your pleasant note...and if you think for a minute that YOU didn't cause others to suffer because of your words..then you are not in reality....You came in hear and accused a loser that you are seeing of behaving the way he is because of a disorder that millions "suffer" from...It is so obvious what you are suppose to do with this fellow
LEAVE HIM...get a restraining order if you have to...he has a "personality" problem
not a bipolar one...I have bipolar disorder and I have NEVER treated anyone like that JERK has treated you...Now i am sorry that you have been subjected to what you have
and girl...i have seen more action than you could "ever" dream of...
I am what Psychologists refer to as a "survivor"...I have seen death, and madness like you would never ever, be able to handle...So how dare you imply that i have never suffered!!!!~ when I have seen violence and horror beyond your wildest dreams
and I battle peoples ignorance everday of my life...You are young..you just simply move on and live your life...try it with a major disability and people like you, accusing us of being terrible people... and e-mailing very insensitive, selfish
remarks, I shared your comments via e-mail with others that have jumped on board
with me and some family members that were hear when i saw it...
We are very, very let down with you and that is as far as I go...Do not ever and I mean ever blame your problems on people with disabilities again, you better take a good look at some of the responses in hear then take more responsibilty for your lack of knowledge i will refer to it as, you mangaed to casue a "fire storm" I am recieving e-mails from people all over North America about your "mistake" just don't do it again LEARN!!! ... and get away from that guy... | |
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e7997
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Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 90 | |
| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/12/2007 5:36:12 AM | Look insurgent. I wrote you as to not post it in front of everyone. I was offering you some privacy. I just ask that you please quite posting things nasty things. You should not attack Ralph for his opinions to me. I dont want to see anyone who offered me advice to HELP be ripped apart because you dont agree. You are not being helpful. I am sorry you feel the way you do but please leave me alone.
I reached out to people to try and figure my life out. You said what was written was BS.
I really dont need to be attacked right now. Good luck with your disorder, unfortunately your disorder is not the topic I inteded on commenting.
I am going through enough right now, please leave me alone. please. You are being hurtful.
So please please stop and leave me alone. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/12/2007 6:40:40 AM |
Look insurgent. I wrote you as to not post it in front of everyone. I was offering you some privacy.
E, you didn't give a hoot about his privacy. You didn't want your defenders to see what you were *really* about and you went on the attack with this man by sending him an emotionally charged, insensitive email. What did you expect? And now you are acting like a wounded bird because he is DEFENDING himself? What the hell is wrong with this picture?
You don't need to be attacked right now. That's fine, but then don't do the attacking and not expect someone to defend himself. Your ploy is self-serving and sympathy-seeking, and no doubt, many who have been here being ugly will jump to your defense.
I am proud to stand with this man in his defense of your viscious attack. \ | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/12/2007 6:47:22 AM |
Of the comments that you've made, this is my take....bipolar does not make someone cheat....being raised in the environment u described however, might.
Exactly right.
Untreated bi polar disorder does affect a person's moods however, most adults only experience seasonal cycling and cycling from big life change. Children on the other hand, cycle rapidly and the mood swings are more evident.
Very true also. Thank you, Mag, for the excellent post. | |
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e7997
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Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 93 | |
| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/12/2007 9:32:47 AM | Really who are you people. Some one ask for help and you are like crazy and want to argue and be wright. I did offer him privacy and the email I sent him actually focused more on "Please dont' jump on people like Ralph for offering help, we have both been hurt by bi-polar relationships and he was trying to help me". Clearly if it was terrible in the email he would have posted the email to help prove his point. (Which I am sure now with some creative cut and paste he will make one) I just asked him to respect that and while I WISHED him WELL with his illness it did not pertain to what I was asking. I am not into interenet arguments.
As of now I am done with this site I honestly did not think asking for helpturned into this. Good luck too everyone else on this site and I hope your experience is better than mine. I hope that you don't all get jumped on by the "crazies" when you ask for help becuase really it gets blown out of hand too fast and it's not good for anyones feelings or sanity.
Also Angle I have more sense and courtesy toward people that to attack someone, especially on line. Really you should have asked some questions before you unleased your crazies on here. I wish you luck, calm down. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/12/2007 4:18:55 PM | Hi
Wouldnt dare try and comment on you situation myself, but whilst searching for info and help on depression I came across a brilliant site which may help your situation. Unfortunately I cant publish the address but this guys name is David Oliver and he runs a site called bipolarcentral. He does run a course that you have to pay for but you can also sign up to a free newsletter full of useful advice. I dont know this guy so dont think I'm on commission or anything (I'm in UK, he's in US) but as he suggests learn as much as you can about this disorder.Its a real bummer having a mental illness and sometimes just as bad loving someone who has it. It helped me anyway and didnt cost a penny. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/12/2007 8:40:42 PM | | I would never date a bi-polar girl again. I once had a girlfriend that was bi-polar that was just a disaster. Dating someone with mental illness is a liability. If you are ok with someone that will attempt suicide and be admitted into the hospital then that is your choice. Been there done that. Never again. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/14/2007 9:01:00 AM | Write a book. Simply, do you run from someone who is the love of your life, has cancer and you watch them go through chemo, change personality and under pain that I can only imagine. The spouse does not want to have any life as he is afraid of dying alone????
RUN RUN RUN is a cowards way out to health issues in regards to relationships. Yes there are times one need to break away from relationship issues..... safety.
What does that say about a person who is running away from concerns? Some day you may be wearing a different shoe and it will not be a running shoe. This means get dumped because of a health issue. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/14/2007 9:02:40 AM | This is in reply to RALPH 1962...........Write a book. Simply, do you run from someone who is the love of your life, has cancer and you watch them go through chemo, change personality and under pain that I can only imagine. The spouse does not want to have any life as he is afraid of dying alone????
RUN RUN RUN is a cowards way out to health issues in regards to relationships. Yes there are times one need to break away from relationship issues..... safety.
What does that say about a person who is running away from concerns? Some day you may be wearing a different shoe and it will not be a running shoe. This means get dumped because of a health issue. | |
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| bi-polar disaster
Posted: 4/14/2007 12:00:42 PM | I should like to know who among you are truly qualified to pass judgement on this serious mental illness? Did you get that degree online too?
I work in an office where I see a lot of psych evaluations from PhDs evaluating these types of patients, and I don't feel qualified to address this issue with any authority, but I can tell you about my personal experiences. Dating or being with someone so afflicted is definately not for just anybody. I've seen first hand the dangerous, beautiful, disgusting, wonderous and wretched effects it has on all those involved with such people.
Essential is getting help; admitting you have a problem is step one, like anything else. If someone tells you that they are bi-polar, take a hard look at potential pitfalls before investing much into the relationship. The most dangerous types are those that self-medicate and assume that they can control it without PROFESSIONAL help. Entering into such a situation is at best risky, and may expose you and your loved ones to an unknown world of danger.
Just my thoughts, I hope I haven't offended anybody, but this is a serious illness and I've found that the most passionate defenders of these types are those themselves, or those without ANY experience with it. They can't see the damage they cause others or themselves until it is too late, then they wish to reconcile. It's without a doubt the hardest thing I've had to deal with in my life, and I won't have anything to do with it again, unless my partner was willing to let me actively participate in her treatment program.
Best regards-
B | |
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| bi-polar disaster
Posted: 4/14/2007 12:52:28 PM | | If this were the case, then half of the people I've met in my life have bi-polar. Sometimes I don't doubt, that everybody can have these symptoms to some degree, (when they are in the right circumstances). To stay with someone who causes you to feel jealous or who is jealous of you is pure misery. He did the right thing by leaving, so what is the problem??????????? Looks like he wasn't trying to hold on to something that wasn't going to work. Why would you want your child to look at him as as a father, when he is not committed to you? If he is having these kinds of issues this is not good. I wouldn't want him around my children until he was more secure. | |
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| bi-polar disaster
Posted: 4/14/2007 4:43:05 PM | NEWS FLASH: Life is NOT fair. 
There are people born every day with disabilities from spina bifida, blind, deaf, gross physical deformity, paralysis, mental retardation, mental illness, to children born with no brain inside their skulls, and every thing in between.
These children did not get a "fair break in life." Many of these people will not ever be able to lead a "normal life." Many of these people will never experience a "long term relationship," marry, have children, or be able to hold a job. It isn't their "fault" and they did nothing to "deserve" this. But it is a fact of life. People have mental illness, physical illness, deformities, or physical or mental defects either from birth or from accident or disease that limits the possiblility for relationships and marriage.
Again, life is not "fair." If life were "fair" everyone would be born equally talented, equally beautiful, and equally healthy. That is not real life. While our constitution guarentees "fairness" in the treatment of people UNDER THE LAW, that does not guarentee that the rest of life will be fair.
I realize that people with bi-polar, depression, or 100 other mental illnesses or defects (some of which there is a large hereditary component) which effect their lives and the lives of those close to them may have their "chances" of good relationships decreased. I am not suggesting that these people be "discriminated" against in any way--however, if you chose to marry a person who is, say, blind, or deaf, or born with no legs, or whatever the "defect" is, you have a CHOICE in dating them, you know what you probably have in store for you if you chose this person. However, if your spouse or S/O goes blind AFTER you are in love with them, that is a different story--if at that time, you say, "Oh, well, you had two good eyes when I met you and now that you are blind, too bad, I am going away" that is desertion and you never loved them in the first place, or you wouldn't leave them if something bad happened, but to knowingly get into a relationship with someone you are NOT in love with is another story. It i s perfectly okay for anyone to say, "I don't want to date anyone that is: "not blonde" or "not 5 ft tall" or "doesn't have two good legs" or "has a waist bigger than 22 inches"-- or anything you want to name. You are not being mean to everyone else if you decide to not date anyone except blondes. That is YOUR CHOICE who you date.
It is true that people who have bi-polar can have more of certain kinds of problems than people who do not have bi-polar. It is true that people who don't have any legs have more of certain kinds of problems than people who do have two legs. If you meet a person with ANY problem of any kind, it is okay for you to choose not to date that person because you choose not to deal with that sort of problem inside of a relationship.
The main thing in any relationship is to know what potential "deal breakers" are involved BEFORE you get into a committed relationship and back out. Decide what your own "deal breakers" are. If you encounter someone with any problem you don't understand, learn about it, so you can know if you are the kind of person who is able to deal with that kind of problem in a relationship. I am not prepared to deal with alcoholism in a relationship. Does that mean I am unfair to all alcoholics because I would refuse to date one? I would also not want to deal with many other things either, but those are my INFORMED CHOICES. | |
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