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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/15/2007 1:10:52 PM | Well, I can say this... I am bi-polar and have been since I was 14 and as I got older the worse it got. When I dated someone, it was terribly hard sometimes. Due to the fact that you do get angry and loving and then depressed and it not only confusing for him but for me as well. In 98' I went to get counseling and I have been there ever since. Now that I know what I am capable of ( rage, obssession, thoughts of death, feeling of worthlessness...being sad constantly, spending money carelessly, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, phobias and being anti- social at times ) I know that is alot but that is me and now with the right help I can deal with this demon and get my life on track. I am on lithium and bupropion. Sometimes I feel as tho' no one will understand me so I haven't tried to date ( until now on this site ) and I have been afraid of what my thoughts may play out. I have been lucky to have a great friend that has a son that is bi-polar and she is great... she's actually the best friend Ive ever had. So what I wanted to say before this long novel... I think you should let him go (and I understand about not being able to breathe after 6 years ) He has to help himself at this point!!! He has to get help and get on Medicine... seriously!!! He may hurt you one day, he may come to your job one day!!! Without Medicine, Im afraid he is unpredictable!! You should also educate yourself about bi-polar because everyone is different. Bi-polar is an illness that is hard to live with unmedicated. This is a life long illness and cannot be cured!!! Keep up with your support system from your family and good luck!! Let him go!! You can do it.... | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/15/2007 1:36:21 PM | Mujersolo, your post was wonderful, insightful, and selfless, thank you for sharing this view. Life isn't "fair" and I know you have had a tough time with your illness. I applaud you highly for getting into counseling and staying on your medication. I have friends, good friends, who are bi-polar and they manage their lives well. It is a struggle at times for them, I know, but they stay "on track" and at the FIRST sign that their "medications are out of whack" they get back to their doctor and readjusted BEFORE things go haywire.
Everyone has their ups and downs. None of us are perfect. Whatever anyone's problem is--mental, physical, or emotional, the "trick" is to manage it, and it seems like you are doing so! God bless and keep you. Your insight into yourself makes you are very special lady. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/15/2007 2:01:15 PM | I have bi-polar and I've got to say its extremely hard to live normally without medication. Its tough to control yourself and I have probably messed at least 1/2 of my life in one way or another by not having medication and have probably hurt a few people along the way unintentionally. Now that I have medication the difference is night and day compared to what I used to be and I'm pretty much normal.
That being said... if your bf doesn't help himself you can't really do much since its near impossible to get anyone to help themselves. You should find someone that will make you happy and love you like you deserve. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/15/2007 2:33:09 PM | I have been married over 10 years to a woman with Bipolar II/BPD. It's been an emotional rollercoaster. We are now separated and getting divorced. When I came into the relationship I knew nothing of this sort of thing and I definitely didn't know what I was getting into. I swear the insanity almost made me become bipolar myself. Right from the start we had financial problems because of overspending. She would cry about everything and would do what her therapist calls "push-pull" -- intentionally trying to destroy the relationship.
Her lows are very low and even her highs are lower than what I would consider normal. She rarely has enough energy to even clean the house, but when she does get energy, it's usually used to blame everything on me, because she suddenly feels strong. She has no idea what her ups and downs have done to me. At one point about 4 years ago I almost completely lost it myself. I won't get into all the gory details, but I was really not in my right mind. No, I wasn't violent or anything like that, I just thought I was something I really wasn't for a time... Then I had two affairs (one was purely emotional, non-sexual) because I just didn't care anymore and it felt good to be with someone who was normal.
To make a long story short, at one point we decided to really try to make things work. She was seeing a therapist that was really good for her and it was going well. I vowed never to go "there" with the affairs ever again and I didn't. But, about six months later I wound up in the CCCU (Cardiac Critical Care Unit) because the stress of all the stuff at home and at work just got the best of me. I was diagnosed with a rare heart dysfunction.
Jump up 4 years...
Things had been going pretty well. I had quit my job, we moved back north, and I recovered from my heart problems. I got a new job and have been doing very well. We seemed to be happy. She was seeing a new therapist that was doing really well for her. Then, about 8 months ago she came out as a bisexual with a strong preference for women. I thought we could make it work. We talked about all sorts of things to allow her to get her need to be with a woman met. Open marriage, polyamory, threesomes, the works. None of it worked. I found out the hard way that she had found herself a girl and was seeing her and sleeping with her behind my back. Still, I tried to make it work, and I just couldn't. The thought of her and this other girl sleeping together just repulses me.
She won't give the girl up and now says this girl is the only one who ever loved her, that I never did, and that it's not just the relationship with this girl that is breaking this up (To which I say, if I never loved you, I woudn't have stayed with you for 10 years of this insanity!). She would be perfectly happy to stay married to me, but not if I deny her having her girlfriend. She says my trying to stop her from having gf is being controlling. More to the story but that's the bottom line. She can be such a sweet, caring woman, but I can't handle having an "open marriage" and I despised being blamed for everything. So we are separated and parting permanently. It's interesting to watch her right now, because she is on a high and feels very strong at the moment. All I care about at this point is that our kids are well-taken care of. Of course, part of taking care of them is making sure I take care of myself... | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/15/2007 2:48:47 PM | | you are an idiot. you cannot stereo type everyone that is bi-polar because you knew one person who YOU think had it and was receiving no treatment. what if every woman you met treated you like her last cheating boyfriend. you know nothing of this illness and should really do some research before you give people advice about it. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/15/2007 2:55:42 PM | I am Bi Polar, dont run Im hyper not the dangerously depressed ones . I am one of 5% of Bi polars that do not go into the down moods "you with me we laugh not cry".. Most are just as she said. Most are over/Under medicated. Jail time might help, its full of unmedicated Bi Polars. Bi Polars not new the name is. Its to describe as many symptoms as people. If he is a danger run, if not slowly show him faults then offer repair sugjestions NEVER get in his face and confront "You may loose your teeth if you do."
I have fun with my "disorder" Ive met half of all the people I know due to being very busy (hyper) The meds are worse than the disorder unless you have 1 good Dr. When first diagnosed They(med Drs) had me on 27 pills, some stain teeth some rot your hair "get the picture" after my own investigation I am now on 1 Med. Bi polar is simular to epilepsy it is a siezure hes having , he wants to stop but the seizure wont turn off the brain. Bet he sleeps every 6-8 days. I love my condition, I tell my friends its like a free crack ride" a slingshot rollercoasters more like it. but I retired at 49 due to my high speed work ethics. I made over a million and I was very Bi Polar so it has some good to it. My friends call me genius due to"i just out think them nothing special | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/15/2007 3:21:55 PM | | Continued """" Bi Polar was changed from depression, mood swings, Manias to eliminate paper work' Hey you call them all John and someone will answer. They do use shotgun medications on ya at first. They shoot at you with everthing out there and hope that it does not kill ya. Depression drugs were involed with the Smith Chick and her son. Zyprexa is a no no. Depacote "no but hell no" Only one drug has no side effects or sexual disorders other than a full nights sleep and thats Seraquel. Only problem I have with it is wake ups are slow at first. Truth here. I would run the streets of Atlanta all nite every nite never sleep over an hour. Now with just Seraquel TRUTH "i've slept every nite 8-10 hours a nite "so called "normal" people cant say that but I found my majic bullit early and for 2 plus years I have slept all nite EVERY nite. He needs sleep so the brain can dispose of the Sertonin and make other body repairs. I am a medicated happy Bi Polar and if I had a choice I would stay this way, it does not take a drugstore at home for this situation it takes "smarts" , She is dealing with a manic depressed Bi and I fear shes in trouble here. Go through legal channels, everytime you have troube 911 it everytime after a few nites in jail he may hunt help on his own I did now Im very happy. I tell people i have a million $ education and I do 5 Masters and a Batch in business so get youreself outa there lady he wont help himself on this one and kids will never forget the fights, I consider every human Bi Polar to a certain amount. Most are freaking out and dont know why Guns have now replaced fists in fights so be careful | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:29:43 PM | It is quite late (2:30 am) so I don't have much to say.. but after skimming through all the post I just wanted to thank ALL of you for TALKING about it......I have been recently diagnosed as BP and I am currently into only a few weeks of my new medication, wow is it ever tough on me and all the ppl around me! I really just wanted to thank everyone for opening up and sharing their stories! Also to anyone out there who has the slightest incling or feeling they may have any type of mental illness.. its O.K. just talk to someone and trust yourself and feelings, be strong and you will get through it! So to all of you with your kind words and help THANK YOU!!! | |
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sajnia
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Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 109 | |
| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:02:17 AM | All I can say is RRRRRUUUUUUNNNNN!!!! It is sooo not worth it staying in a relationship with anyone who has a mental illness(especially if they choose not to get medical help). Pray for them as you walk out the door. Bipolar individuals suck the energy and the life right out of you. It takes so much energy to try to "love them through it". I've tried in the past. Thought I met someone who was a good person, but his illness took him over. It was horrible: put you down, everything my fault, the he never gets what he deserves('cause you're not what he deserves), life is cruel to him, the lying about taking the medication, the narcissism, criticizing EVERYONE in your life (your lawyer/doctor friends, your best friends everyone!). Let them go. If you don't you WILL drown with them. And as your spirit lays dying, you will still be forced to let them go. So, my advice is to let them go while you still have a life or a chance at living a healthy life.
p.s. Forget about being understanding....it won't work.
P.P.S. My comments relate to those individuals who live with a mood disorder but choose NOT to seek medical and therapeutic intervention. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:21:46 AM | | he sounds like a jerk, bi-polar or not, your doing all the house work, cooking his meals, doing his laundry and having to put up with the negative side of a bi-polar disorder that he won't get treated? What are you living in the 50's again? Bolster the womens movement by letting this jerk be alone. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:36:05 AM | | Regardless of whether a person is bi-polar or not, you should never have to walk on eggshells like that, not knowing how the person is going to react or what will set him off. And it is so unhealthy for your son to be exposed to that kind of behavior/ | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:50:51 AM | There is not much you can do about this for him, he needs to seek treatment because he wants to.
I dated a lady for about 7 months, everything went fine, we got married and on the 3rd night of the honeymoon, the crap hit the fan. Things got worse and after a year I had to move out. It was only then, did her son come to me and tell me that his mom is bi-polar.
She did a very good job of hiding it from me and continued to refuse to seek treatment. The mood swings, the threats and abusive behavior and almost constant accusations became unbearable. My regret is that I did not have the marriage annulled as soon as the trouble started.
Do not take him back just because he says he'll seek help, he needs to actually seek treatment and follow through. Many say that but fail to follow through.
You need to give this some serious thought, talk to people that have children from a spouse suffering from this condition, it is very difficult.
Wishing you the Best of Luck. | |
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| bi-polar disaster RE:My View From The Abyss
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:26:29 PM | | As a woman who was diagnosed as bi-polar in my late twenties I have given up correcting the misinformation that is so rampant about this disorder.For many years my doctors tried ever tricyclic in the PDR.The side effects were not only bothersome three of the drugs almost killed me.Doxipine gave a heart attack,another one put me into anaphylactic shock and still another spiked my BP to an almost deadly level.Speaking of shock I had one shrink prescribe fifty ECT treatments when I was hospitalized with clinical depression that was unresponsive to the anti-depression meds available at that time.As a result my long term memory has been greatly affected .I was allergic to Lithum so I was given a host of anti-seizure meds with a variety of side effects.When I was put on a drug Paxil(an MOAI)I had to be very careful not to eat certain foods or red wine.When I had to have emergency surgery I was given Demeral,even though I wore a medic alert necklace with a warning not to give me that particular pain med,the result was serotonin syndrome and I hallucinated for three days.While I have always been a well behaved bi-polar so as not to bring shame to my family they completely rejected me after my diagnosis.Before I married my ex-husband I gave full disclosure about my disorder and strongly urged him to talk to my doctor and read the literature about living with a person who is bi-polar.He chose not to and in fact exacerbated my depression's with his verbal abuse.I have had bad shrinks,good shrinks and some even empathic shrinks.I have stared down more then one paranoid schizophrenic for the remote to the television in various(sorry you PS's out there but you guys do tend to hog the T.V.)nut houses.I do not let my illness define who I am nor do I use it as an excuse for any unacceptable behavior I exhibited .I will not apologize or try to justify my illness I was given in the genetic crapshoot we all have to roll the dice on.I have become discouraged and reluctant to date anymore given the misinformation and stigma attached to any mental disorder.One of the many verbally abusive statements my ex said to me in the sad last weeks of our union was"Who is ever going to want a crazy bipolar **** like you!"after reading many of the comments on this thread and other's I fear his hurtful statement is sadly....true. | |
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| bi-polar disaster RE:My View From The Abyss
Posted: 4/29/2007 12:41:07 PM | | I don't see why any woman would want a guy who verbally abuses her . I am 40 from wisconsin . The one thing about me that I think some woman would like . Is for me to " help " out . I don't smoke or drink . Housework . We do it together . I would never lie to you . I am hyper sometimes . Those around me , say that they would rather see me hyper then a quiet person . | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/29/2007 1:59:36 PM | | So finally, you are the only person to mention co-dependency, all these threads and not one incling of co-dependency relationships. ;-) x | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/29/2007 3:44:01 PM | I have Bi-polar disorder. And Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. And Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And Tourette Syndrome. And Rage Disorder.
And yet I am able to see the good in all things. I am able to love people in any stage of my swings or whatever else is going on.
I have never hurt anyone maliciously in my entire life. I've never felt 100% positive about life, or 100% negative.
My life is an emotional rollercoaster, and yet I've never fallen out of the seat.
Why is that? Why is it that so few bi-polar people kill themselves, while most cope so well you can't tell they're bi-polar?
It's because we are the strongest people in the world. While there might be mood swings that frighten you so badly you never go near us, you could threaten to kill us brutally and we'd push you aside as if we were made of PCP. We have access to a deeper part of ourselves that none of the rest of you will ever understand, and it is half-blessing, half-curse.
We are not the person you see in the good times, with the unfortunate problem of the negativity.
We are who we are all the time, and if you can't deal with our power and intensity, you are weak and had better leave us to be with stronger people.
Those of you who have divorced your bi-polar lovers and wives and husbands are cowards. You are not willing to love an entire person, because you prefer to shave away what you don't like. You don't deserve the things we can give, and we can give things you cannot imagine. You gave up on these people because you were too weak, too foolish, and too ignorant to understand just how amazing a person you had discovered.
We are the diamonds in the rough. What people don't want to face is the fact that our facets are sharp-edged, and will cut the unworthy like fat from a corpulent pig.
For those of you who read this and are intrigued, but unafraid, I encourage you to learn more about who we are. Talk to us. Meet us. Seek us out. There isn't a single one of us who will not appreciate the attention if it is given with utter respect.
We are not arrogant. We are sensitive to pains outside of us, because we are too busy dealing with things within us.
When you finally understand the wealth that is a bi-polar lover, you will learn that heaven is a disappointment compared to our embrace.
~ David | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/29/2007 7:18:47 PM | David, I think you left out arrogance and narcissist personality disorder to add to your list of problems.
If I am too weak to appreciate what a wonderful diamond you are, at least I will be able to keep your sharp-edged facets from cutting my unworthy fat off my corpulent A$$. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/29/2007 7:43:44 PM | No need to be rude.
Just say that I was more than a little elitist, and I'll understand and agree in hindsight.
I apologize for my harshness.
The fury with which I wrote that other bit was purely caused by my own negativity at the time, no reason for which included anyone else's opinions.
Now, in response to your rather blunt use of crude wit, I'll say nothing.
~ David | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/29/2007 8:31:55 PM | Sirs and Madams, please stop for the love of all things good. i believe the lady who posted this was looking for some sort of consolence and people to talk to not a bunch of us bipolar people argueing with eachother but i will probably oblige by mistake. The best thing to know is that bipolar people will never know themselves and noone is to blame for their behaviour and resistence to seek help but themselves. Drinking is off limits to the functioning manic deressant and coffee is too. they simply exacerbate the illness. If someone has a mental illness that is a disorder they should definetly know it and there is no excuse to bully others and oneself. However if you are functioning you might as well have nothing whatever. For then it is not a disorder or no longer. All in all every split is difficult especially if alot was put into it but some say people come into our lives for a season a reason and some for a lifetime. Sometimes we have to accept the fact that people only come in foa season or a reason and it isnt neccesarily our fault. people at a certain age should certainly not be little girls and boys and should be expected to seek help for disorders and those that they may see must except the fac that they are who they are and if the person does not seek help they are unhealthy and abusive. A very difficult illness to deal with and some people of intelligence sometimes even say that if human being could learn to harness and stableise the hypo mania it would be the next stage in human evolution. However it is the exact opposite if it were at all if one does not seek help. Expressing should be incouraged and not looked down upon and atributed to any gender or orientation.balance is the key to success i think       | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/29/2007 10:34:18 PM | I have no idea what you're talking about.
Are you saying that if someone is able to cope with their issues, they effectively don't have the disorder anymore?
Coping with any neurological disorder (bi-polar is not a mental illness, and disorder is not a dooming term as you seem to think) is incredibly tiring, difficult, and irritatingly thankless. Calling it a canceling-out of the disorder itself is like saying a person who puts a bandage on a gaping wound has reached full health again. It's just ignorant, silly, and untrue.
~ David | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:34:27 PM | Wow, I've never checked out these forums before until I saw "BIPOLAR" and coundn't resist. The best reading I've done in awhile. Yes I'm bipolar and I commend the few on here that speak up on behalf us mentally ill, deranged, violent, drug using, drinking cheaters.  Almost everyone in a failed relationship with a so called mentally ill person in this forum blaims it all on this so called mentally ill person. I always thought it took two to tango? They say everything was fine for a couple years or what ever and then the appeared. People you need to look in the mirror and asked yourself was I perfect, was there anything I might have done to bring on some of this? If the answer is yes and no in that order then I tell you I'd rather walk in my bipolar shoes any day than yours. This business of lying and cheating etc. is the result of bipolar is absurd, a mental illness maybe but not bipolar. I think some of you are watching to much tv, seems every week there is a new disorder and most have alot of the same symptons. Bipolar for the most part is heriditary and that's the way the ball bounces. One person mentioned 4 different types which may be the general rule but I think it varies totaly from person to person. Some of you said over and over that these people are pretty much not worth a hoot because they haven't recognized there problem and done something about it. I wonder how many of those people drink a beer or two or three or gin or brandy and recognize they have a drinking problem, the point being it's easy to be a back seat driver.To those who have recently been diagnosed I like to say a few things. Get a good doc or someone very qualifed not a family Phys. some of the meds like a few have said can have very adverse affects and it may take some time to find the right one or combination but you will so don't get discouraged. One last thing, every relationship I've ever had there was always a week about every month where she would go through these different moods ranging from mild to wild depending on the person, I finally figured it out they were all BIPOLAR. | |
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| bi-polar finace disasterRE:On the I.Q. of Oxen
Posted: 4/29/2007 11:42:24 PM | | Dear Ox,What an apt name you have given yourself.If you are indeed ,as you indicate,morbidly obese,judgemental.misinformed,uneducated,insensitive and just a pain in my damn near perfectly formed derriere..consider my bi-polar point of view.Perhaps you should,before you judge something you quite plainly know squat about use the few brain cells you sadly seem to possess.Did,you ever consider that YOU are self medicating your own pain by stuffing your face with unhealthy food.Or that you are an obvious addictive personality?A word of advice,Ox,don't insult bi-polars.We are generally insightful,well informed and very,very smart.Get thee to a therapist. | |
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| bi-polar finace disasterRE:On the I.Q. of Oxen
Posted: 4/30/2007 4:10:05 AM | Well, my dear, I am NOT fat, my "name" is Ox Drover, not Ox (the ox is the thing that is driven) By the way, oxen (cattle) are quite bright.
As far as my credentials, I am a retired registered nurse practitioner who worked in psychiatry, so yes, mam I am very well educated, informed, sensitive and my derrier is QUITE nice, thank you. (I didn't realize you were looking)
And, dear, your "bi-polar point if view" is just that--are you off your meds again?
I don't think I have insulted anyone, but have stated my opinion, but somehow it must have hit a nerve with you, darling.
"They deem him the worst enemy who tells them the truth." Socrates
I have several good friends who are bi-polar, but they stay on their medications, are quite intelligent and caring and aware of changes in their moods and take appropriate actions. I know lots of bi-polars who are not consistent in taking their meds, or having them adjusted as needed, and those people are nightmares to everyone who still associates with them. I am retired now and not interested in associating with a bi-polar or anyone with psychiatric or physical problems who refuses to take proper care of themselves and adversely impacts other people with their decisions.
Have a nice day. The Drover | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/30/2007 4:20:25 AM | Hey! I know much about bi-polar! Here's my story and then my tip.
I'm 25-6 b-day in like a few days, and I have wored with having Asperger's my whole life. Anyway, I worked with myself after drugs and doctors didn't help and then bamb a door opened to work with my symptoms and self 'cure?' I don't think that's the best word. But ya, this year in college I ran into a girl with bi-polar. She was having her drugs shifted around and dosages increased - made a realy mess of her brain. I worked with her, trying to find a way for her to do the same thing I did, when it hit me. Up and down. How to work with the two to findan center point. Here's what worked: Meditation for up. You know to calm to helf down when Manic. This will take time, lots of time. Then placing the hand over the heart while speaking while in a down state. H- the girl with Bi-polar was able to calm herself down after a few months of trials and then the hand over the heart helped build confidence when down. It's simple and it works. H- is now steady with this wonderful guy. Something that would never seem possable before.
Hope that helps. | |
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| bi-polar finace disaster
Posted: 4/30/2007 4:35:40 AM | | I lived with a man for three years I was married to him for 1 1/2 yrsIt was an uphill battle every day He tried to commit suicide 3 times while we were together .He was a wonder full guy on his medication but in the end he lied and said he was on his meds and watched him horrify my 17 yr old son and our 8 month baby yrlling screaing he was the devil.. Walking aroungd naked saying god was coming to beam him up ..I know how you feel..It's not an easy decition to make but you deserve better Bi-polar is a very dangerous disorder..Let him go and move on they never stick with the hepl it's not thier fault or yours..save your self and your son from having to atch your sad ness he deservers better..I do not see my x husband he went off the deep end ..But is getting help how long it will last who knows but I never want to be as afraid as I was to weather he would hurt him self or me and my children..And when he's gone where is he aids is a serious,and if he is acusing you maybe it because he is ..Just trying to help But it it ultimately about if you want to do THIS for the rest of your life ..In experience leave him...Gina | |
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