| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/9/2007 9:02:42 AM | | OP, whether or not it's considered old-fashioned, it's still good manners and it's still appreciated by many women (me included). I like when the guy does those things, and I enjoy doing similar things for him...reaching over to open his car door after he's opened mine, having his favorite things to eat in the house, starting and ending the day with a long hug and kiss, him vacuuming because you hate to do it and you ironing his shirts because he hates to do it...it's these little things, these considerate things, that all help keep one's relationship healthy and caring. When they stop, then that's when people are starting to take each other for granted...which is never a good thing. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/9/2007 11:03:55 AM | Chivalry isn't dead. I was once at a restaurant that had windows to the parking lot and there was this old couple getting into a big truck and he was opening up the door... So i said hey look chivalry isn't dead and everyone within an ears shot began to laugh. I looked back out the window and the ol bugger was feeling a cop as he lifted her into the truck hehehe.... I don't see the need to open doors persay but i do do it any ways. i'm like the old man in ways, whilst my special someone was here i would open the door to the truck and although i didn't cop a feel i loved kissing her when she was in. the truck is big and she looks so cute sitting there *smiles* just have to kiss her of course... I am equally ok with her doing the same for me. But now knowing how it makes her feel i wouldn't do it any more unless she was carrying bags.
But will defiantly want to kiss her any how. i've always seen doing such things as a kind gesture but in times like today they aren't necessarily considered kind gestures. My mum is a bit of a feminist and my dad isn't thoughtful so i didn't learn this from parents. Just as a natural extension of my kindness.
crazylilting | |
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NadiaS
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Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 28 | |
| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/9/2007 11:26:58 AM | While it's not mandatory, I love it when a guy does these things. It's not so much about chivalry as it is about being courteous towards one another. If I was the driver and didn't have central locks, I would open HIS door first and then go around and open the driver's side. On the flip side, if a guy were to open my side first, I will always lean over and unlock his door for him. It's about reciprocity. If a guy wants to help me into my coat, open doors for me etc and it's something he genuinely wants to do versus it being for show....I don't see why that's a bad thing. I appreciate little things like that!!  | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/9/2007 11:45:50 AM | Keep it up.I was brought up with the same guidelines and i would'nt want it any other way.A lady is to be treated like a lady,with respect and consideration.Its not done to be demeaning.If a woman can't appreciate what your doing ........................  | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/9/2007 6:55:59 PM | Either way it doesn't matter to me but yes I would love to have these things done for me. I also think it shows a form of respect. A true gentleman will do these things because he wants to and thats nice. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/9/2007 7:40:40 PM | | Wow, there are some of you MEN left out there! I say bring it on, I personally love it when a man does this. I think it's very sweet. Keep it up, to me it is a sign of respect. That your cherished. Not an old bugger at all. Some woman will truely appreciate all those little things. Sounds like you were taught to respect women very well. Your mama would be proud!!! | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/10/2007 1:34:52 PM | Oh yes!!
Open any door for me (except at 15,000 feet)...
Help me on and off with my coat...
Pull out my chair at the table (that's pull out not pull away  )...
I love men with manners and am secure enough in myself as a woman that I do not see such gestures as patronising or demeaning... as others have also said, I am happy to help him with his coat, unlock his door, etc, etc, it is about mutual respect. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/10/2007 1:39:41 PM | | I think it's sweet for him to do those little things.... never had the coat thing.... I like pulling out my chair, grabbing doors, carrying things for me, leading me by a hand on the small of my back.... | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/10/2007 3:40:57 PM | I enjoy the old fashioned rituals of dating. But more than anything, it's just someone trying to be polite.
I notice fewer and fewer men do it. Is it because some are raised without manners? Probbaly some. But I have a gut feeling many got the "I can open my own door" garbage at some point. It's just that overly zealous feminist garbage that's out there.
The entire feminist movement need a good hard slap in the face. There's this entire "I don't need a man" vibe they give and encourage, yet all they seem to do is pine about issues with men. It's a giant contradiction.
I think men should open doors all the time, not just for dates either. But because it's polite. Manners has nothing to do with power trips over some guy trying to control you because you've got two heavy bags and he'd like to help you carry them or he will open a door for you because he wants to make a good impression.
I laugh when I see women make these complaints about "Hear Me Roar, I Can Open My Own Door" then **** later about how no men ever approach them. Uh, did it ever occur to some of them that the act of being polite might have been a male's attempt to get in a few words and get to know you? It's funny when I hear about people who complain about what they don't get and then complain some more because they themselves aren't giving anyone an opening to provide those things. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/10/2007 4:01:35 PM | I have to agree with you on this one Dancing Queen.
I took a feminist class in college...one of those pre-requisites I had to take for credit completion, and I have to say that the class drove me nuts! I would ask questions similar to the one you posed in your post, like; "how are we, as women, any better than men if we dedicate a whole lecture to bashing the male sex?" and you know what.....not one classmate, even the instructor could give an answer to that question....yet the same "bashing" continued on for each and every lecture.
I feel sorry for the guys that genuinely are gentlemen and try to show a friendly gesture but get turned down because the female views their gesture as insinuating that they are "inferior to men".......gimme a break!
maybe this is the reason why so many people in our world are scared to help each other out (male or female) for the fear of the person they are helping is going to bite their head off!!!!! | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/10/2007 4:58:48 PM | OMG Hell yes!!!! LOL. I think it's always sweet when a guy offers to help his girl put on her coat or opens the car door for her.
I wish more guys were like that!! | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/10/2007 5:07:32 PM | opening a door for a lady...yep as long as u were there 1st and didnt send her flying and landing on her butt to do so ...big no no.
opening a car door...only if your quick enough..never keep a lady waiting.
helping a lady with her coat on ..only if your trained in this field,having a guy try dress you in public need some decorum , it not like putting your childs coat on you know.
pulling a womans chair out for her before she sits...as long as you have full intensions of sliding it under her and she sits and not sliding it away as some jokers have been known to (major warped sense of humour some guys have) | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/10/2007 6:53:14 PM | Ladies first. I hold her door, wait for her to sit first, allow her to order first, open the car door.
If she want to be a liberated woman she can do something nice for me. Or say something then I won't do it. I don't mind. But that's how I was brought up. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/11/2007 3:14:03 AM | Mzscrubber
catch 22 situation isnt it
personally im pretty capable of opening doors myself roflmao!!! i know its a romantic gesture but its an unnecessary one. kinda like helping me off with my coat.
dont be old fashioned... be original.
find somethign thats going to set you apart from every other guy out there trying to impress. because in reality thats all it is.. hes just trying to impress you. after a few dates the door opening stops.
its much more romantic having something done for you out of the blue or original.
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I personally don't agree at all with your statement.Yes I am capable of opening doors myself,but to have a genleman do it for me shows me he has respect,old fashioned or not,I love it and it is quite rare now aday's, so lovely to hear the op thinks this way and so wish more men did this.... no offense op but your age may have something to do with your way of thinking and I for one find that very attractive,and this is why I go for older men.I am a girlie girl and love a man to treat me like a lady. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/12/2007 9:45:45 AM | I hear that some women don't like for you to open the door for them or help them on with their coat these days, but a lot of us DO. For me, it gives me a very "protected, taken care of" feeling inside and I love it! Example: I did a ride-along with a deputy Friday night. I do this on a regular basis so I've ridden with lots of officers. This one opened the door for me every time I got in the car! It made me feel like a woman, and I enjoyed his company even more. Not only that, when I think of him, I'll think of how special he made me feel.
I think you should always try to be a gentleman until the woman you're with tells you she doesn't want you to do these things for her. Maybe you are old-fashioned but there are lots of women out there of all ages that appreciate an old-fashioned man. Makes us feel like old-fashioned woman, and that rewards for that are....well, let's just leave it there: There ARE rewards! | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/12/2007 10:50:49 AM |
catch 22 situation isnt it
personally im pretty capable of opening doors myself roflmao!!! i know its a romantic gesture but its an unnecessary one. kinda like helping me off with my coat.
dont be old fashioned... be original.
find somethign thats going to set you apart from every other guy out there trying to impress. because in reality thats all it is.. hes just trying to impress you. after a few dates the door opening stops.
its much more romantic having something done for you out of the blue or original.
Considering that some men have 1) never been raised to be polite, 2) bought into the feminazi garbage, or 3) simply don't think about it...it *is* becoming pretty original - and rare - to find a guy who will be courteous, respectful, and have manners...and I say bring more of them on...While I'm perfectly capable of opening my own car door - or any door - I still like when a guy does it for me; I like when he helps me on with my coat; and brings me flowewrs for no reason at all...I don't take it that he's doing it because I can't do it for myself; I take it that he wants to do this for me and it would be rude to not let him do so.
I also disagree that all men are doing this to impress someone - when they are just doing it to impress, those are the cases when it stops soon after you're a couple. And it's pretty easy to see if this is something a guy is doing because it comes natural to him or if he's trying to impress you - if he holds doors for other people - regardless of gender or age; if he's polite and friendly with waiters/waitresses; if he treats strangers courteously...then that's simply who he is, and he's not doing it to impress his date. I like being treated like a *woman* and having a man be courteous and respectful isn't being treated like a *helpless* woman...JMO | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/12/2007 2:51:12 PM | I open doors, help with chairs, drop off in front of restuarants all the time. Not just for dates, but my sister, daughter, anyone really. In fact, if a woman wants to wait, I will come around and open her door to get out of my car also. I do all that because that's the way I was raised and that's what I want to do. In that vein, I'm not going to pull a muscle to do it, but when at all reasonable, I will.
However, that all changes when someone "demands" I do those things. For whatever reason, that just irks me. And I've had women tell me right up front that's what they expect from me, and that tends to make me want to do less.
I know, it's just me being a head case, because I really don't want to change what I do for someone else just because they asked me to do what I normally do anyway. But depending on how aggressive she is, I know it will affect my behavior. Oh well, so sue me!
--Bob
P.S. I just realized this was in Ask A Girl, sorry. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 3/12/2007 2:55:57 PM | | I love it when a man is like that... shows me that he is very respectful, and kind... gives me goose pimples and butterflies when a man does that for me because it is SO VERY RARE! | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 5/18/2007 6:39:02 AM |
Am I considered old fashioned if I still help a lady put on her coat or open the door for her. Opening a car door is that a sign of respect or just being an old bugger. How about pouring her glass of wine first. To be honest it would not feel right not doing all these little things.
No, you will not be considered old fashioned. Regardless of all the psycho-babble we hear, women like this stuff. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 5/18/2007 7:38:56 AM | | Everyone is brought up differently; those gestures were expected from men by women a lot more years ago than they are now. While I appreciate courtesy from either gender, the only difference now is I don't feel entitled to it, expect it, or take "points" away from someone because they don't do it. | |
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