| Does she still want a man to open her car door?
Posted: 11/28/2007 10:32:07 PM | I'm sorry to say that I hear many woman say they feel like they're being looked down upon if a man opens a door for them or offers or tries to help them with anything, but, personally, I love being treated that way. Help me on with my coat. Pull out the chair for me. Let me go first. Open the door for me. I feel respected for simply being a woman when a man does that, and it's a great feeling. I like being treated like I'm special.
Plus, as Clorin said, I feel more relaxed and at ease with my date. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/28/2007 10:54:10 PM | | If my hands are full or if you are walking far enough ahead of me that you might as well, then I appreciate it. To do it just to do it... no thanks, I can open my own door but thanks for the thought. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/28/2007 11:17:26 PM | When I am dating/seeing someone i dont expect it, but i love it when someone opens a door for me, helps me with my jacket, askes if i want a drink ect, to me this proves that a guy is going above and beyond the call of duty, and wants me to feel special, and what girl doesnt?
I feel confident and stong as a women. I know what i can do for myself, but I dont mind getting a little help every now and them! | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 12:04:58 AM | Well this is a pleasant subject, which is refreshing.
I think there are several things a man can do with chivalry that are very thoughtful and nice gestures.
* Opening her car door, buckling her seat belt and then giving her a kiss on the cheek before closing the door and walking around (always behind the car) to get in the driver's side. Then upon arrival, everything in reverse and hold her hand to steady her as she exits the car
* Ordering for her in a restaurant, pouring her wine and having the waiter deal exclusively with the man, no need for her to interact with waiter other than to smile
* Pulling out her chair and seating her wherever you are
* Standing when she returns to the table in a restaurant
* Make a point to arrive plenty early if you are meeting a lady somewhere, so she does not have to wait alone
Thoughts anyone? | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 12:10:15 AM | lbgent
I must agree it is rather pleasant :)
I love it when my guy reaches for my hand when we are out, and offers to hold my bags when we are shopping, suprising me every so often with flowers, these may not be things that i look for when i am first dating someone but they are the things that make me want to keep him around | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 12:25:33 AM | * Opening her car door, buckling her seat belt and then giving her a kiss on the cheek before closing the door and walking around (always behind the car) to get in the driver's side. Then upon arrival, everything in reverse and hold her hand to steady her as she exits the car
Do you often fall when getting out of the car if there is not someone to hold your hand to steady you?
* Ordering for her in a restaurant, pouring her wine and having the waiter deal exclusively with the man, no need for her to interact with waiter other than to smile
How will he know what I want to eat if all I do is sit around and smile? Will the waiter need to pretend I don't exist? What if it's my turn to pay the bill - how will the waiter know I am asking for the check if all I do is smile like a mute idiot? Is he afraid I might like the waiter better and go home with him instead if we are allowed to speak? Or maybe the waitress will want me and turn me lesbian and I will run off with her. Surely she will be enamoured by mute smiling women who cannot decide what to eat.
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 1:47:26 AM | All I was throwing out there were what some might consider some pleasantries between a man and a woman that might add a touch to their enjoyment of each other's company.
We all know chivalry is just that. On a practical basis, chivalry is nonsense. It's ridiculous. Women don't need any of this stuff done for them. I KNOW THAT!
But that wasn't the point of my post, and from reading some of the other posts it looks like a fair amount of women do appreciate being treated in a special way. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 2:01:31 AM | Actually the rest of the stuff you said sounded nice enough. I guess it just depends on where you draw the line. I'd really like to see a guy throw his dinner jacket on a puddle so I don't get my shoes dirty.  | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 2:07:21 AM | It's wonderful *long, dreamy sigh*.
My bf gets the car door for me if it's not so nice out (broiling/rainy/cold/windy) or if we're in a scary spot (save me from muggers?). If it's nice out, I usually get my own door. He pretty much always opens the establishment door then I'll try to get the inner door, but he's taller and faster so I usually just get it started. He always holds my hand or wraps an arm around me when walking/crossing a street. He does pour my drink first. If we're in a new place, I'll have him order for me - not a problem. And the other evening, he finally had the chance to assist me with my coat - and he did - 3 times - then lifted my hair out of the collar for me. *another long, dreamy sigh*
ABSOLUTELY makes a HUGE difference in quality of him vs others. Other guys just cannot measure up to that. Oh yeah. My man is a
M A N, and I know it. Also know I'm pretty damned lucky to get him too. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 2:41:15 AM | Thanks for the kind post, finneganne. Chivalry calls for the dinner jacket to hit the puddle to protect those shoes! The lady's comfort is primary.
Speaking of jackets, I think the best option for a man on that is to ask the lady when reaching a restaurant table if he may take her jacket/coat for her. If she agrees, he should slide it off her shoulders and off and neatly fold it and place it next to him in the restaurant booth. As for him, if he is wearing a suit he should absolutely keep his suit jacket on in the interest of looking/acting like a gentleman.
One more thought for chivalry's sake: a man should not use any bad language within earshot of a woman, and that's any woman, not just his date. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 5:25:34 AM |
If she agrees, he should slide it off her shoulders and off and neatly fold it and place it next to him in the restaurant booth.
These days he's more likely to cop a feel while taking off the jacket, then crumple it up and toss it on the seat.
Being offered a jacket when it's cold is nice. I remember once an abused woman came running out of her house and her shirt had been ripped off and she was in just a bra. There were 3 men there and me. And I was the first one to pull off my sweater to give to her. Only problem was I only had a bra on underneath too - it was at this point that one of the guys realized the situation and took off his jacket for her.
I do like it when men can refrain from the bad language - reminds me to control mine too! | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 5:44:58 AM | | Dan, keep on keepin' on! I love it when a man opens doors, pulls out my chair, helps me with my coat. I raised my son to do those things for women also, and his wife loves it. It is not belittling to women to be treated like ladies. It shows respect and consideration. Those are things we all need to show more of the each other. If you are with a woman who gets upset over you doing these things, you might want to reconsider if she's the type of woman you really want to be with. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 7:39:29 AM | An assist with my coat and pouring my drink, anytime, anywhere. Opening the car door --depends on practical vs romantic nature of the outing and if the doorlocks are manual or automatic. I was raised to be an independent woman. One of my boyfriends was very old-school about the car door and pulling out my chair thing, so we negotiated to let his romantic nature reign when we were out on a date. Grocery shopping or fishing, I'd open the door myself. Going to the library, I'd seat myself.
***one of the things I love, find very chivalrous and waaaaaaaay sexy is when a man guides me forward by standing beside and a half-step behind me with his hand firm on the small of my back or just above it, to usher me through the door, down the corridor, etc. Trust me...file and note this one. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 10:04:20 AM | Do you often fall when getting out of the car if there is not someone to hold your hand to steady you?
Granted I do have some physical problems now, but even before that when I would wear 3" heals and go to get out of a sports car such as a 300zx that is low to the ground, yes, a man opening that door for me and standing there for me to lean on him, wow
I think most guys think they are gentlemen because they open a door or a car door and rarely wait to shut the door. I know the comment about the seat belt made me think too. I know that if I am in someone else's car figuring out buckling or unbuckling a seat belt can be difficult. Sometimes they are like combination locks, you are lucky if you get it right the first time.
I love to be escorted. When a man stands next to me, I try to grab him by the arm. I am uncomfortable when a man I am with walks 5 paces ahead of me, it sucks.
I have a voice and can tell a man if I think he is going too far with his manners, but I can not remember ever telling a man that he has. I know I keep my mouth shut when I am struggling to put my coat on and wish he would help and again the opening and shutting of car doors I used to love. I know age is only a number, but seems like the guys that I dated that were 10 years older seemed to do more holding and pushing chairs in than the ones that are my age or younger.
I am trying to train my boys right and I hope that they get a woman that appreciates it. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 12:11:23 PM | It is very rude for a man to walk five steps, or any steps, ahead of a lady unless he has a flashlight and is on the lookout leading her into a haunted house or a mine!
As for the opening of a lady's car door when a man and woman reach their destination, as he gets the car parked he should state clearly something like "stay seated" or "wait until I come around" or even "don't touch that door!" Then he walks around, opens the door and helps her out. Once a lady and man know each other a bit, she will reflexively wait for him.
Also on a first date it's a nice idea to offer one's arm to a lady wearing high heels, but since the two persons don't know each other very well at that point, there's no reason for the man to have his feelings hurt if she declines. | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 3:31:06 PM | Oh Bene, you know you just live too far from me...
I do so love the men on here saying they don't mind doing these things for women. I do hope that you guys realize there are tons of women out there that really appreciate it! Keep up the good work and make sure the other guys know you are doing it and how much the women dig you doing! | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 4:06:15 PM |
after a few dates the door opening stops.
If a person experiences positive results from behaving a certain way, the behaviour tends to continue. If a person experiences negative results from behaving a certain way, the behaviour tends NOT to continue.
!Les | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/29/2007 4:24:04 PM |
maybe this is the reason why so many people in our world are scared to help each other out (male or female) for the fear of the person they are helping is going to bite their head off!!!!!
Manners is not a simple matter of one person doing nice things for the other without any feedback. A lot of it has to do, in my never-humble opinion, with the RECIPIENT being gracious about receiving the polite behaviour. A lot of people simply don't know how to respond to being shown consideration and politeness. Politeness requires effort on the part of BOTH parties: the do-er to initiate the behaviour, and the recipient by acknowledging the behaviour and responding appropriately. When a person doesn't respond appropriately, I don't get angry or upset; I get sad, because he or she has almost certainly never been exposed to courteous treatment, and doesn't know how to respond.
!Les | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/30/2007 8:18:58 AM | , i personally love it if if a man opens a door for me or pulls out my chair, it makes me feel special and like a lady  and like what has already been said the touch of a mans hand in the small of yr back when entering thru a door etc is comforting and reassuring and adds to that sense of security,
the art of chivalry isn't quiet dead but it is dying, so come on you men, its the simple gestures that makes us women happy.....  | |
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| Does she still want a man to open her car door.
Posted: 11/30/2007 9:36:04 AM | I think it is very nice to do those things. I notice those little things much more than someone paying the bill for me. Actions like those don't make me feel less of a person in any way.
My father will still sometimes open the car door for my mom, and I think it is very sweet. | |
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