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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 9/28/2009 8:43:35 AM | The face of many a child
The face of many a child
is a manifesto of hope.
They are posted, like beacons,
at strategic points around the world
where you and I can see them
and wonder.
_________
"Me & My Shadow" | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:10:09 AM | This is the first time sharing any poetry with others. I am not commited to it, I am not sure I am done with it, but I figure I have to get some feedback eventually. I know little about poetry, but I think my writing has been leading towards it recently.
I call it Stain Glass
Such a tragically pretty picture,
in the shadows, a colourless,
intricate unspoken beauty. Depiction
of what she has always done, they like to predict
what they could project.
Oh, those eyes.
If I thought it would help I would tell her
the light must come, from within
And then
And only then
Will we see the vibrant colour
in which she can see herself. | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:45:54 AM |
I call it Stain Glass
Such a tragically pretty picture,
in the shadows, a colourless,
intricate unspoken beauty. Depiction
of what she has always done, they like to predict
what they could project.
Oh, those eyes.
If I thought it would help I would tell her
the light must come, from within
And then
And only then
Will we see the vibrant colour
in which she can see herself.
You ought maybe change "stain" in the title to "stained." Otherwise this is lovely, has a wonderfully spontaneous quality and a lack of affectation. | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 9/28/2009 8:10:38 PM | | Thanks for catching that, yea I did mean stained glass. I have enjoyed reading some of your writing, so the kind words are appreciated. A good job of analasis to. | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 9/29/2009 1:28:55 AM | | Agree with Jer ~~ it's a *fine* poem. And way beyond your years, m'dear. Don't stop. | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 9/29/2009 4:05:46 PM | Trulio, I've seldom been so lucky to find someone while I'm out and about....but I love to read the missed encounters postings youknowwhere, some of them are haunting...
Jer, children are a source of wonder, like flowers...and so interesting, too...
scar, I thought you did a great job, and I would certainly keep writing (and hopefully posting), you definitely have a unique and compelling voice...
I change my poems, add lines or edit. Some of them I know are finished, others I still feel need tweaking. I hope your young lady finds her light...
************************************************
quid to id
our real life has just begun
dream dimension
legitimate as this one
is that why
in our dreams
we seldom die?
living parallel,
quid pro quo
linking hands
with dirty id
rolling dice
revealing lives
that we have hid
LS 9/19/09
first, last | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:50:08 AM |
Jer, children are a source of wonder
I realized after I wrote it that some/most people would take "wonder" in the sense that I believe you did, and that's all right with me but I originally meant "wonder" in the sense of speculate, project forward as best one can | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/1/2009 12:23:08 AM | Children within themselves manifestly
declare
that they each and individually
request | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/1/2009 5:02:56 PM | Jer, I took it as you meant it, because I could see you worrying about the kids you saw. I was making a play on words, didn't know if you had realized there was a meaning within a meaning, which I thought was pretty neat...
Trulio, I think children each and individually manifest...
now how about a nice rhyme? >: /
trippy hippie
allowing roots to grow deep
become the love that you keep
a lighter heart can hold sway
against the hate of today
protect the truth that you've found
the cynic lives on the ground
so flash your smile to the sky
and let the joy in you fly
LS 9/07/09
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/1/2009 8:43:08 PM | I was concentrating on the cadence of the words, the breaks between their hearing, and the meaning,
& it neverrrrr occurred
to me that they lacked rhyme
they did have cadence | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/1/2009 8:49:26 PM | Hola
I do not use ryhmes but rather cadence to write and express with:
"Cadence is a term borrowed from music, where it refers to the use of a group of notes or chords used to end a piece of music or a phrase within it. As it can also be used to refer to the audible features of speech - a statement slowing and falling in pitch as it ends, for example, or the pause that a comma demands - it has been taken up by poets to refer to the pitch and rhythm of words within a poem. Unlike discussions of metre, which refer to the beat underlying what is said, cadence attends to actual variations.
For example, Ian McMillan's 'For Me', a poem about not having to rhyme, makes three ridiculous arguments that use the same cadences; this achieves the effects of linking the stanzas by sound, without using rhyme. In Michael Longley's 'The Ice-Cream Man', there is a recurring metre ticking away under the whole poem, but a line that contains a narrative sentence, such as "and you bought carnations to lay outside his shop", carries a different cadence from one containing a list, like "Meadowsweet, tway blade, crowfoot, ling, angelica". This is one way of keeping a regular metre from becoming dull with repetition, and also has the effect of binding the two list cadences, of flowers and flavours, a little closer in the ear.
How to use this term Cadence
Each stanza in Elizabeth Bartlett's 'Painting of a Bedroom with Cats' is a single sentence, each with a semi-colon at the end of the fourth line; this gives each stanza a similar cadence, but Bartlett ensures they are never boringly identical.
Related Terms | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/2/2009 7:42:52 PM | Trulio, I was making a joke at my own expense about rhyming...that's why the face....if you haven't noticed, rhyming isn't very popular...
doesn't stop me, but then, I've never been very popular anyway...
Have you checked out Wikirhymer? they use near rhymes...sometimes I like to use phrasing, it may not rhyme but the syllables are similar so there is a rhythm to it...I guess you could call that a cadence...
So no, that wasn't meant for you at all....I was also commenting on children, the older I get the more I like them. Thank god, there are some old people that just can't stand kids. I don't like the screeching, but when they're quieter they're pretty interesting little buggers...and the temper that used to make me angry now makes me laugh, how small they are and how significant they think their rage is...
********************************************
hen
you answer as if
it is your possession
your question
and I wonder where
they end
and you begin
and I bet
they do too
funny how
the only one
with any voice
is you
and yet you lay
the victim card
as many bullies
do
LS 8/06/09 | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/3/2009 3:51:58 PM | selective hearing
I didn't listen
to my mothers warning
about girls who started life
too early
couldn't override
my heart
dancing, giddy
twirly
sex and dinner,
babies came
while other girls
were being
girly
regrets,
I have a few
not many
as you'd think
for one who listened
rarely
LS 9/27/09 | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/4/2009 12:35:58 AM | I never listened..
and wandered much like my mother did.
It figures..
after all, I am her kid.
;) | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/4/2009 9:47:02 AM | oh, wandering...I'm feeling the itch again, pretty hard....
I thought this would be it, and I'd be content. And I have been more at peace here and involved in my surroundings, more than most any other place in Ohio. But I'm missing pine trees and ocean front drives and democrats and dome homes and restored Bugs...
********************************************
nesting
if you were a tree
I would fly
to your shelter
and take my chances
I would nest in
your leaves
and rest
in your branches
you'd be my home
in endless bad weather
a base for flight
when I roam
I'd preen my feathers
before too long
healed enough
to sing my song
LS 07/18/09
first, last
What Tree are You | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:42:12 AM | hen is an ancient greek word
it is one or perhaps the most beautiful word in ancient greekm, meaning the ONe
http://www.wordinfo.info/words/index/info/view_unit/973 | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/5/2009 12:46:50 AM | | man did i make some wicked salsa tonite | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/5/2009 3:36:03 AM | i like
messages this short may not be posted
chaocito | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/5/2009 3:47:57 AM | dome homes and restored Bugs
ocean drives and pine woods
these are found in the land I live
the land I grew up from childhood
yet, like you, I wandered quite far
to a land on a distant shore
where restored vw's
were hardly seen before
but ocean was there
and incredible Dartmoor
and there I stayed to live my days
raising children and marriage too
but the day came, like you,
I realized my view
though very beautiful
something from home was calling to me
to return to the land of the 'free'
so nineteen years passed
my experience vast
living out of this country
but that day I just knew
coming home was past due
so here I am to stay
(for today anyway)
hope it's ok to drop in like this....saw you reminiscing and it triggered something ..
also, sorry i'm still stuck in rhyme...one of these days i must jump into the abyss of rhymelessness! | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/5/2009 7:03:56 PM | Trulio, the hen I'm writing about has enough problems with being The One...if she takes any more oxygen small animals will keel over...
We, it's okay if you rhyme in here...I rhyme all the time, and no one should have to apologize for rhyming, it is what it is...
I NOW DECLARE THIS A RHYME SAFE ZONE....IT IS OKAY TO RHYME IN HERE...
Wow, I'm envious...I wonder what a foreign country would be like...according to the web quiz I took, which is at least as accurate as a magic eight ball, my city is Amsterdam...
*******************************************
within our hearts
there is a garden
and a table
set
for only one
a private place
in which to pardon
our mistakes
and heal
to reaffirm
our love of self
and grow
toward the sun
LS 8/09/09 | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:15:31 PM | Long distance memories
crowd my mind
fleeting sounds and senses
find me longing for the
long ago's
the fabric of who I am
was shaped by
where I went
and the young girl remains
in this post menopausal shell
my city is Amsterdam...
Lived in Utrecht for 2 yrs prior to emigrating to Canada...I adore Holland...still try to keep up my language skills and try to visit as often as I can...Brizo if you ever do get to Amsterdam....walk up to Dam square from the train station and hang a right to the Hema store....then buy a hot sausage from the cafe inside...eat it with Dutch mustard...so yummy!! | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:44:04 PM | That missing feeling
Of home
I am not sure it is even a place
Or a smell
But an awareness of another time
When all our senses were alive
Alice in wonderland
Dorothy in Oz
We were in our prime
Dreaming about romance
Adventure
Painting our life in Technicolor
I remember stumbling down a street at night
A little tipsy
His arm around me
Full moon – warm summer evening
And he promised to take me to London
Where we would explore history together
And make love with our eyes
In a small café
(Ok I’m down for England and Ireland and Stonehenge) | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/6/2009 5:06:51 PM | My city is Athens.
Everything else is coastal redwoods.
♥ | |
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| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/6/2009 6:18:10 PM | Whoa... you didn't say it was a 7 page test LOL... I scored 60% Italy/58% France which doesn't make any sense because, that's 118% ??
No wonder I can't decide where I want to live LOL. That was fun. | |
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aka,om
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Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 2075 | |
| Brizo's poems
Posted: 10/6/2009 6:47:28 PM |
within our hearts
there is a garden
and a table
set
for only one
a private place
in which to pardon
our mistakes
and heal
to reaffirm
our love of self
and grow
toward the sun
Damn I like that, Brizo. Poignant, reflective.
Keep rhyming eh! ..lol
Hey you gals Stop doing those tests, eh, there's subliminal messages in them..lol | |
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