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| Brizo's poems Posted: 9/28/2009 8:43:35 AM | The face of many a child
The face of many a child is a manifesto of hope.
They are posted, like beacons, at strategic points around the world
where you and I can see them and wonder.
_________ "Me & My Shadow" | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 9/28/2009 11:10:09 AM | This is the first time sharing any poetry with others. I am not commited to it, I am not sure I am done with it, but I figure I have to get some feedback eventually. I know little about poetry, but I think my writing has been leading towards it recently.
I call it Stain Glass
Such a tragically pretty picture, in the shadows, a colourless, intricate unspoken beauty. Depiction of what she has always done, they like to predict what they could project. Oh, those eyes. If I thought it would help I would tell her the light must come, from within And then And only then Will we see the vibrant colour in which she can see herself. | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 9/28/2009 11:45:54 AM |
I call it Stain Glass
Such a tragically pretty picture, in the shadows, a colourless, intricate unspoken beauty. Depiction of what she has always done, they like to predict what they could project. Oh, those eyes. If I thought it would help I would tell her the light must come, from within And then And only then Will we see the vibrant colour in which she can see herself.
You ought maybe change "stain" in the title to "stained." Otherwise this is lovely, has a wonderfully spontaneous quality and a lack of affectation. | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 9/28/2009 8:10:38 PM | | Thanks for catching that, yea I did mean stained glass. I have enjoyed reading some of your writing, so the kind words are appreciated. A good job of analasis to. | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 9/29/2009 1:28:55 AM | | Agree with Jer ~~ it's a *fine* poem. And way beyond your years, m'dear. Don't stop. | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 9/29/2009 4:05:46 PM | Trulio, I've seldom been so lucky to find someone while I'm out and about....but I love to read the missed encounters postings youknowwhere, some of them are haunting...
Jer, children are a source of wonder, like flowers...and so interesting, too...
scar, I thought you did a great job, and I would certainly keep writing (and hopefully posting), you definitely have a unique and compelling voice...
I change my poems, add lines or edit. Some of them I know are finished, others I still feel need tweaking. I hope your young lady finds her light... ************************************************
quid to id
our real life has just begun dream dimension legitimate as this one is that why in our dreams we seldom die? living parallel, quid pro quo linking hands with dirty id rolling dice revealing lives that we have hid
LS 9/19/09 first, last | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 9/30/2009 9:50:08 AM |
Jer, children are a source of wonder
I realized after I wrote it that some/most people would take "wonder" in the sense that I believe you did, and that's all right with me but I originally meant "wonder" in the sense of speculate, project forward as best one can | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/1/2009 12:23:08 AM | Children within themselves manifestly declare that they each and individually request | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/1/2009 5:02:56 PM | Jer, I took it as you meant it, because I could see you worrying about the kids you saw. I was making a play on words, didn't know if you had realized there was a meaning within a meaning, which I thought was pretty neat...
Trulio, I think children each and individually manifest...
now how about a nice rhyme? >: /
trippy hippie
allowing roots to grow deep become the love that you keep a lighter heart can hold sway against the hate of today protect the truth that you've found the cynic lives on the ground so flash your smile to the sky and let the joy in you fly
LS 9/07/09
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/1/2009 8:43:08 PM | I was concentrating on the cadence of the words, the breaks between their hearing, and the meaning, & it neverrrrr occurred to me that they lacked rhyme
they did have cadence | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/1/2009 8:49:26 PM | Hola
I do not use ryhmes but rather cadence to write and express with:
"Cadence is a term borrowed from music, where it refers to the use of a group of notes or chords used to end a piece of music or a phrase within it. As it can also be used to refer to the audible features of speech - a statement slowing and falling in pitch as it ends, for example, or the pause that a comma demands - it has been taken up by poets to refer to the pitch and rhythm of words within a poem. Unlike discussions of metre, which refer to the beat underlying what is said, cadence attends to actual variations.
For example, Ian McMillan's 'For Me', a poem about not having to rhyme, makes three ridiculous arguments that use the same cadences; this achieves the effects of linking the stanzas by sound, without using rhyme. In Michael Longley's 'The Ice-Cream Man', there is a recurring metre ticking away under the whole poem, but a line that contains a narrative sentence, such as "and you bought carnations to lay outside his shop", carries a different cadence from one containing a list, like "Meadowsweet, tway blade, crowfoot, ling, angelica". This is one way of keeping a regular metre from becoming dull with repetition, and also has the effect of binding the two list cadences, of flowers and flavours, a little closer in the ear.
How to use this term Cadence
Each stanza in Elizabeth Bartlett's 'Painting of a Bedroom with Cats' is a single sentence, each with a semi-colon at the end of the fourth line; this gives each stanza a similar cadence, but Bartlett ensures they are never boringly identical. Related Terms | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/2/2009 7:42:52 PM | Trulio, I was making a joke at my own expense about rhyming...that's why the face....if you haven't noticed, rhyming isn't very popular...
doesn't stop me, but then, I've never been very popular anyway...
Have you checked out Wikirhymer? they use near rhymes...sometimes I like to use phrasing, it may not rhyme but the syllables are similar so there is a rhythm to it...I guess you could call that a cadence...
So no, that wasn't meant for you at all....I was also commenting on children, the older I get the more I like them. Thank god, there are some old people that just can't stand kids. I don't like the screeching, but when they're quieter they're pretty interesting little buggers...and the temper that used to make me angry now makes me laugh, how small they are and how significant they think their rage is...
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hen
you answer as if it is your possession your question and I wonder where they end and you begin
and I bet they do too
funny how the only one with any voice is you
and yet you lay the victim card as many bullies do
LS 8/06/09 | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/3/2009 3:51:58 PM | selective hearing
I didn't listen to my mothers warning about girls who started life too early couldn't override my heart dancing, giddy twirly sex and dinner, babies came while other girls were being girly regrets, I have a few not many as you'd think for one who listened rarely
LS 9/27/09 | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/4/2009 12:35:58 AM | I never listened.. and wandered much like my mother did. It figures.. after all, I am her kid.
;) | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/4/2009 9:47:02 AM | oh, wandering...I'm feeling the itch again, pretty hard....
I thought this would be it, and I'd be content. And I have been more at peace here and involved in my surroundings, more than most any other place in Ohio. But I'm missing pine trees and ocean front drives and democrats and dome homes and restored Bugs... ********************************************
nesting
if you were a tree I would fly to your shelter and take my chances I would nest in your leaves and rest in your branches
you'd be my home in endless bad weather a base for flight when I roam I'd preen my feathers before too long healed enough to sing my song
LS 07/18/09 first, last What Tree are You | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/5/2009 12:42:12 AM | hen is an ancient greek word
it is one or perhaps the most beautiful word in ancient greekm, meaning the ONe
http://www.wordinfo.info/words/index/info/view_unit/973 | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/5/2009 12:46:50 AM | | man did i make some wicked salsa tonite | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/5/2009 3:36:03 AM | i like
messages this short may not be posted
chaocito | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/5/2009 3:47:57 AM | dome homes and restored Bugs ocean drives and pine woods these are found in the land I live the land I grew up from childhood yet, like you, I wandered quite far to a land on a distant shore where restored vw's were hardly seen before but ocean was there and incredible Dartmoor and there I stayed to live my days raising children and marriage too but the day came, like you, I realized my view though very beautiful something from home was calling to me to return to the land of the 'free' so nineteen years passed my experience vast living out of this country but that day I just knew coming home was past due so here I am to stay (for today anyway)
hope it's ok to drop in like this....saw you reminiscing and it triggered something .. also, sorry i'm still stuck in rhyme...one of these days i must jump into the abyss of rhymelessness! | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/5/2009 7:03:56 PM | Trulio, the hen I'm writing about has enough problems with being The One...if she takes any more oxygen small animals will keel over...
We, it's okay if you rhyme in here...I rhyme all the time, and no one should have to apologize for rhyming, it is what it is...
I NOW DECLARE THIS A RHYME SAFE ZONE....IT IS OKAY TO RHYME IN HERE...

Wow, I'm envious...I wonder what a foreign country would be like...according to the web quiz I took, which is at least as accurate as a magic eight ball, my city is Amsterdam...
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within our hearts there is a garden and a table set for only one a private place in which to pardon our mistakes and heal to reaffirm our love of self and grow toward the sun
LS 8/09/09 | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/5/2009 8:15:31 PM | Long distance memories crowd my mind fleeting sounds and senses find me longing for the long ago's the fabric of who I am was shaped by where I went and the young girl remains in this post menopausal shell
my city is Amsterdam...
Lived in Utrecht for 2 yrs prior to emigrating to Canada...I adore Holland...still try to keep up my language skills and try to visit as often as I can...Brizo if you ever do get to Amsterdam....walk up to Dam square from the train station and hang a right to the Hema store....then buy a hot sausage from the cafe inside...eat it with Dutch mustard...so yummy!! | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/5/2009 8:44:04 PM | That missing feeling Of home I am not sure it is even a place Or a smell But an awareness of another time When all our senses were alive Alice in wonderland Dorothy in Oz We were in our prime Dreaming about romance Adventure Painting our life in Technicolor
I remember stumbling down a street at night A little tipsy His arm around me Full moon – warm summer evening And he promised to take me to London Where we would explore history together And make love with our eyes In a small café
(Ok I’m down for England and Ireland and Stonehenge) | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/6/2009 5:06:51 PM | My city is Athens. Everything else is coastal redwoods.
♥ | |
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| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/6/2009 6:18:10 PM | Whoa... you didn't say it was a 7 page test LOL... I scored 60% Italy/58% France which doesn't make any sense because, that's 118% ?? No wonder I can't decide where I want to live LOL. That was fun. | |
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aka,om
| Joined: 12/6/2008 Msg: 2075 | |
| Brizo's poems Posted: 10/6/2009 6:47:28 PM |
within our hearts there is a garden and a table set for only one a private place in which to pardon our mistakes and heal to reaffirm our love of self and grow toward the sun
Damn I like that, Brizo. Poignant, reflective. Keep rhyming eh! ..lol
Hey you gals Stop doing those tests, eh, there's subliminal messages in them..lol | |
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