| forever ?
Posted: 3/11/2007 5:56:32 PM | Sorry. Well, that's good Babs!
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 52 | |
| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 3/11/2007 6:06:02 PM | | Simple you wanted love....he gave you violence..violence has NO place in love. Therefor I would LEAVE especially if you have children get them out of that distructive environment so they can grow up health and whole. Its simple in my eyes........ then again I'm not the one whos probably been distroyed physically, mentally and emotionally by a controling violent jack ass. | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 3/11/2007 6:14:32 PM | | No baby, you need to leave. Evidently your nothing to him, but you are everything to your kids. Don't feel like you need to stay to keep the children in family atmosphere. There are plenty of fathers raising kids without the mother and plenty of mothers raising kids without the father. Staying will not benifit you nor your children in the long run. If you have girls they will expect that treatment from the men in their lives and if you have boys they will think that's how they are supposed to treat their women. You just need to get your head and thoughs together and put a plaln in action. I am far from you but because of your message I will be praying for you to have strength. It's a hard thing but only you can travel your path. Good luck. | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 3/11/2007 10:35:54 PM | Sweetheart, when you made that vow, you made a vow of love to each other. That is not love darlin. That is abuse. I feel by what you are saying that you really meant it when you gave him your heart, but he needs help. There is no way on God's green earth that it is healthy for you to stay in a relationship like that. Been there, done that.
Sweetie, you have to love yourself first and part of loving yourself is demanding respect. You must not tolerate such behaviour or cause yourself to have to endure such treatment. This is not a very good model for your kids to see either hun. If you stay, you are being a willing victim and it could cause your children to grow angry towards you. If you leave, God bless you for having the courage to take a stand for yourself, but make sure you have someplace safe to go where he cannot get his hands on you! This man cannot and will not change unless he seeks professional help. The anger he is expressing through his abusive behaviour is a need for dominence and control. He needs to figure out the source of his problem and deal with it, but that is HIS issue. YOUR issue is to remain safe and make sure you get some help by speaking with a counsellor who can help you work out your emotions from this. God bless you and keep you safe hunny.  | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 3/12/2007 8:13:45 AM | thats a crime and you need to take action, report it to your local police and find a safe place to stay, good friends or family.
i'm sorry that has happened, but you need to ensure your safety first and maybe in the future a reconciliation. emotions are wild, you don't know what people are capable of in such states. | |
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| forever ?
Posted: 3/12/2007 4:29:35 PM | babs, its good to hear that you left him, it must have taken immense courage! i know how hard it is to get out of a situation like that! i hope other women take heed and realise love is patient and kind and giving and sharing, it is not violent! many women die each day at the hand of their abusive partner, and many men are physically abused!
this is not a subject to be taken lightly, and im thankful that there are now laws in place to help protect victims of domestic abuse! | |
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ddream
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Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 62 | |
| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 3/12/2007 8:47:56 PM | | A guy that hits a woman is pathetic... So my advice is to get out that situation asap... And take your children with you.... He just doesn't deserve you... | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 3/12/2007 9:33:51 PM | OK WHAT WRONG WITH U !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! r waiting to die like as the the staying goes LOVE should not HURT get my drift HELLO and tell me he has no HEART no man should hit a women and same like wise but hey u have kids so them what right not what wrong and show them that LOVE should not HURT u in any way at all so get the fuvk OUT !!!!!!!!!! NOW trust me i have been there myself and yes it can be hard to get out but hey i did it i got OUT before it was to late  | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 3/15/2007 9:45:47 PM | lWhen a woman stays in an abusive relationship its her choice, DUMB CHOICE.
wHEN children are involved and witness it and woman continues to LOVE HER ABUSIVE MAN she is ABUSING HER CHILDREN.
CONCLUSION, both of you are quilty of ABUSING YOUR CHILDREN,  | |
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| forever ?
Posted: 3/15/2007 9:52:48 PM | You should A) Never get back with him....after reading some of your posts, you need to get some help yourself. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. He hit you because he is CRAZY CRAZY, and it would have been your or anyother girl regardless. Those people can do wonders on your mind to make you feel like you did something wrong.
LEave, and don't go back. And please get help, you did nothing to cause this, and you did nothing wrong. Your only wrong is for thinking you did wrong somehow. | |
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| forever ?
Posted: 3/15/2007 10:45:31 PM | | A friend of mine keeps going back to this guy who started hitting her, not to mention cheated on her while she was pregnant with his kid. Sparing all the details, we told her to take the baby and leave before it even GOT to that point, and even helped her and my buddy move out of the apartment at six in the morning one night because they were afraid of him, but she kept going back, and, surprise surprise, he started hitting her. At a certain point it's like "you know what? Now you're just being stupid." | |
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MLC
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Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 67 | |
| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:24:33 AM | | I actully understand exactly what you are going through, I lived with my fiance for 5 years I have 3 children, (one is his others he has helped me raise) Started small, toss down the stairs,push off the balcony....My children never new about any of it untill!!!! long story short i know what you mean about the I love yous and i actully beleived him as well ,made excuses in my head for why, and i too felt he was suprior to me...SWEETY he was not and yours is not either...The day he broke my hand when he had me and my children cornered in our faimly bathroom and then told the police i was the abbuser as i sat there hiding my bruises and broken hand saying nothing as that was what id been trained to do!!!...was when i saw how sick the man i loved really was... I left that night with my boys as my children should have NEVER seen that! And i could not hide what they had seen.... They never change without help, it never gets better only more violent, the I loves yous will still be said and the put downs and telling you you are the crazy one will not stop either untill they finally do drive you crazy or worse..... It was hard but my children are happy and i will be too one day! takes time and you CAN do it , I could so i know you can as well! good luck to you and i hope and pray you find the streath (whatever that may be) mine was my children to do what is right! | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:41:31 AM | Well I'm gonna criticize and hopefully it wakes you up. You're 43 years old and can't figure this out? This either tells me that you are a fraud and just trying to get the attention of a lot of posters, or you have some serious co-dependency issues.
Your vows never said for you to take a on broken bones. No where in your Bible will it tell you take such harm. For religious reasons you are allowed to seperate.
You know the answer so just do it.
I await the flamming responses of others. | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:46:45 AM | Ummmm...well, I personally was in a similar situation with my ex. When you get tired of being a punching bag, then you will stop being one. Plain and simple. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone that you have make excuses for?
Sorry to be so blunt...but **** your vows, because he doesn't give a shit about them, so why the hell should you?
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 3/16/2007 12:08:52 PM | | The first time a man ever hit me would also be his last. Number one because I would wait for him to come back from work and then I would beat his a$$ down with a big, hard baseball bat... or golf clubs whichever sport he prefers and plays cuz I'm gonna be beating the sh1t out of him with his own stuff. Number two because I have three older brothers who wont go for that and if I don't beat the sh1t out of him my brothers will. Hitting me... definately not gonna go over well. | |
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| I am not a fraud
Posted: 3/16/2007 12:13:18 PM | Once again thank you all for your comments and i accept all what has been advised. I am not here to be told i am something when you know nothing about me i most certainly am not a fraud that is for sure.
Like i said i have got out of it now, and again thank you all for the posts that you have put here. Babs | |
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