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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/8/2007 10:13:49 PM | Obviously,
you are aware that it is unacceptable and the answer is yes, you must leave.
I believe you are seeking some consolation at this point and reassurance that what you are planning to do is correct.
Do you have the courage to leave at this point? Probably not, due to your question. However, a suggestion would be to seek help from a center that deals with abused women and they can carefully instruct you what to do. Love sometimes is not enough, not when you or your children are in physical danger.
You can still love an individual but not agree with all of their actions. Remeber they may not love you in the same manner (it could be possessive instead). Nor do you have to remain in a situation and tolerate certain behaviours. Letting a person go so that they can learn from their actions might be one of the best things you can do to help them. This could be the greatest expression of love.
Furthermore, sometimes, self love needs to come into the equation first. Protect your children and yourself. Courage will come in time. | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:27:19 PM | | if u are being abused around children then they are being abused its called "children who whitness abuse". its the law in canada that suspected abuse of children be reported, anyone who does not is as guilty of that abuse as the abuser | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/9/2007 11:17:33 PM | Yes Candy is right and the same law also exists in Most states in the US,,,,,,it is considered CHILD ABUSE for a child to witness domestic abuse.
And consider the effects that domestic violence can have on a child.
Studies show that 90% of boys that witness abuse may become an abuser and 90% of girls that witness abuse are more likely to be in abusive relationships.
ALL WOMEN deserve to be treated like Princess's by our romantic partners. NOBODY has the right to hit or abuse another person it is ASSAULT it is CRUEL and it is ILLEGAL. Dont feel bad about breaking your marriage vows 2 leave the jerk he broke his when he hurt you. He is not cherishing you dont cherish him,,,,,,,,,,,just take care of yourself and your kids and meet a nice man one day who will never hurt you and love you the way you deserve it. and GOOD FOR YOU 2 have him deported.
I know you've probly hear it many times but its true i kid you not: ONCE AN ABUSER ALWAYS An ABUSER. its not about love its about wanting to control.
GOOD LUCK if you want 2 talk message me ill be here for you
MISSY | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/9/2007 11:42:41 PM | Eash question, easier answer... "Never be the Victim!"
Pack up, move out, get a restraining order... If possible file abuse charges, try to force him into getting Anger Management classes.
Sad part is this, if you have male children they might grow up to hit women too.
If you have female children they might grow up thinking its okay to bet hit by men.
Change the trend now. Teach them that the abuser isn't in the right.
God did not intend woman to live in a house of abuse. He is the God of love, not the God of Anger. In my heart I believe this to be one of the reasons that is 100% okay to get a divorce. Others being if the spouse cheats or is abusive with drugs or alcohol. There is a special word for it and I once heard a Preacher list a lot of things included in the words diffinition.
And I can tell you what another Preacher once said, "Get out of the relationship before it goes to the next level. Because if you wait, someone will end up dead."
You'll either kill him in self defense, or in his anger it won't be your nose he breaks but your neck.
I wish you the best of luck. | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/10/2007 2:13:58 AM | unfortunately
the fact that you are posting this question,instead of packing your bags, indicates that you probably wont leave the guy no matter what anyone here says
You will stay until he puts you in hospital a few times, or kills you, or really hurts the kids.
Id tell you to leave, but I doubt it would make any difference...... | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/10/2007 3:02:32 AM | No man is worth your tears.
When you find a man who is.
He will not make you cry.
If you daughter was being beaten by her husband what would you tell her..? Tell yourself the same..
His nothing but a yellow bellied cowered who prays on a helpless volatile fragile female. He lacks the balls to stand up to a real man.
You can for a price have him seen too, see how he likes hospital food. Vinnie | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/10/2007 3:12:32 AM | Gosh,Girls get out of there as fast as you can.I've been in a violent Marrige when I was in my early 20th,I gave "him" many,many Chances over a period of 7 Years,even seeing the beating and raping got worth,in the end I was left with loads of broken Bones,missing Teeth,Misscarages and am now hard of hearing,.Luckely with modern Technologie I can hear with my Hearing Aids.BELIEVE me it WILL get worth NOT better.Those Men will NEVER change and the future Partner of those Men will just go through the same (I vitnessed it over the past 25 Years with "him").
I can tell already that he made you Insecure,otherwise you would not have placed this Quetion on here.BELIEVE me you CAN (other than you believe at present) COPE on YOUR OWN with your Children and you also will vitness the smiles returning on your Childrens Faces,they will get less jumpy and in the Event of Bedweting,also that will stop in Time.Stop letting your Children get further marked for life.
I wish you and your Children all the Best of Luck and Lovr in this World.However if you feel like you have to talk,for what ever reason,maybe just to gain some streanth,do NOT hestitate to contact me further !!!!
Take Care and God bless you and your Children | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/10/2007 4:54:08 PM | This question should come from someone who would thoroughly enjoy a Dominant/Submissive and Sado-Masochistic relationship; from the substance of this post, it doesn't seem to be:
IT MUST BE TOTALLY CONSENSUAL!!!!!!!!
In your situation, it quite obviously is NOT! This involves children! THAT should NEVER be included in a Sado-Masochistic relationship --- EVER!!!
GET OUT! FIND WHATEVER MEANS OF ESCAPE YOU CAN AND GET OUT!!! | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/10/2007 5:03:58 PM | Just to repeat the basic updates from the 2nd or 3rd page of this thread:
- The OP and her children are on the other side of the Atlantic from the abuser.
- Abuse is not continuing.
Please continue.
Cheers,
Mike (public service announcement by the Thread Historical Society) | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/10/2007 5:22:06 PM |
More important than the beating is your spelling and use of grammar. Fix that and all else will fall into place.
You are a cold-hearted SON-OF-A-****!!! Some poor soul posts a problem that concerns not only HER, but her CHILDREN AS WELL, and you CHIDE HER about her SPELLING!!!
SURVIVAL IS NOT ABOUT SPELLING!!! SURVIVAL IS ABOUT SUSTAINING LIFE, AT WHATEVER COST!!! PROTECTION OF HER CHILDREN IS ****NOT**** ABOUT SPELLING!!!! IT'S ABOUT ALLOWING THEM TO LIVE QUALITY LIVES!!! FREE FROM ABUSE AND CONTINUOUSLY EXPOSED TO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND ALL THAT IT ENTAILS.
I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU IF YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND ****THAT****!!!! | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/10/2007 8:53:43 PM | He broke his promise to love and cherish you, it is ok to leave. That is not love, it is control, fear and power over you. Please get the heck out as soon as you can. Dont try to get revenge just get out quietly and try to find a womens shelter for battered women, they will have professional help for your emotions, job opportunities, clothes, food and shelter and will help you get back on your feet. He stopped the vow when he broke your bones, hit you name called, was hurtful to your children,,, there is no marriage there to stay for, no benefit of the doubt to give... he has already proven he is a violent criminal. He would be in jail if he did that to a stranger, and you are his wife... think about it.
You dont have to take the physical, or the emotional abuse. Get help, get out
good luck
BL | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/10/2007 11:18:59 PM | you should leave ,really!!!
it was my huge mistake one year ago
and i am still in the shadow.
you will be afraid of discuss thing with him ,which he just have different opinion.
if he beat you up once, you won't trust him any more
take care | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/13/2007 10:08:27 AM | definitely leave!! never stay with someone who is dysfunctional enough to beat a woman or pick on the kids, it shows he has serious psychological and emotional problems which he alone needs to deal with and so while he is like this don't even consider giving him the benefit of the doubt - men should not hit women and women should not hit men - and if someone is doing that to you then they are indeed not worthy of you or the kids in a loving relationship. You need love, security, trust and respect, not to be beaten or scared.
Get out and stay away from him, yes its hard, but concentrate on yourself and the kids and get yourself back again. He will follow after you once he realises that you mean business, he can then either look at himself and realise he really needs help, or he can continue in denial and tell himself that he's fine as he is and then continue the same sorry cycle throughout any relationships.
Love is not fear, violence or pain, you need to teach this man a lesson and show him that you do not have to put up with this - leave him, its the best thing to do as then it will give him the shock he needs and he can either use that in a positive or a negative way, and sort himself out! Good luck! you CAN do it!! | |
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argfin
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 120 | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/13/2007 12:11:37 PM | no it is not acceptable
it is not acceptable to be physically or mentally/emotionally beaten
There is a big difference between power games/S&M and actually being beaten.
Run do not walk away from him and if you need to charge him do so... if a women does this to a man (more often this would be mental abuse) it is not acceptable either.
It is tough when you are in love but this is one of those easy to decide things.
RUN | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/13/2007 12:36:05 PM | | I dont think anyone should stay with someone that hurts them. Its not a healthy relationship there is so much other men out there waiting to treat you like a queen and respect you. If I were you I wouldn't stay with him. I'd be out that door calling my lawyer. There is way too many men out there to be with someone who doesn't treat you right. | |
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| IF YOUR PARTNER BEATS YOU DO YOU STAY OR LEAVE
Posted: 4/15/2007 9:12:24 AM | A lot of people are qwick to judge when ur in a abusive ralationship, they say things like,,,,"leave him you fool,,,get out i would,,," i know ive been there,, i ended up telling them people you dont know, have have not been there, its so easy for them to comment isnt, until you been there you never know how it it,,,,,, im from a abuseive ralationship and its hard you get marride because you love then,,, but he cant love you as love is a behavour not an emotion, i know how it is i coundnt walk away but i promise it nit easy but with time i promise you will look back and kick yourself for staying,,, get so strength and walk away good luck and i wish you well, | |
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