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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/10/2007 9:54:53 AM | "Wow, what an amazing gift you have. I can see you'll go far in life with this wonderful mind reading talent! How could any woman possibly feel differently than you?"
Firstly, I'm already doing well in life by not being a divorcee or a single mom , thank you. Might want to apply your advice towards someone else or yourself. I'm not the old one here.
Also, say those exact words when a stranger smashes you right in your face and your bf does nothing but runs away. Let's see what you would do then. Words don't prove anything, lady. Prove your words with actions. Atleast I'm honest.
Also, Pasquel I would have expected a little more than a personal attack from a 42 year old who lists "Chemistry and microbilogy" as their profession.
I guess some people's minds remain in High School all their life, eh?
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/10/2007 10:01:08 AM | Something close to this has happened before. A guy at the bar was a saying some rude comments both to the bar tender and some of the other folks around, spilling beer here and there and being a total *ss. The four of us had purchased a pitcher of beer whichwe left on the bar. The went to refill his bottle he had spilled earlier, that's when my lady freind asked what he was doing. His reply was rude calling here a wench and a w***e. I told him he should move on and watch his tongue. That seemed to be the words he wanted to hear fore he was in my face asking me what I was going to do about it. I'd again told him he was being a jackass and that he should move on. That's when he stepped into my space and again asked if I was going to do anything about it. I put him on the floor. we scrapped for a few seconds and were grabbed and escorted to the door by the now attentive bouncers and other attendants.
Was this all Chivalry, perhaps. Knighthood, I never received it. Gentlemenly, I knocked the guy, is that gentle? Because of this my freinds and I had to go somewhere else for drinks and I had a cut on my face that burned the night through. The only good thing about it was the bar tender remembered the incident and gave us another pitcher the next time we came in. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/10/2007 7:27:33 PM | Valencia, tisk tisk, so much hostility. Thanks though for the entertainment my dear and for proving my point.
One word of advice, someone as young as you should lay off the coffee, Mt. Dew as well. Oh and biology has two o's. Guess you have to be OLD as dirt to know that.
I guess some people's minds remain in High School all their life, eh?
I have faith in your ability to rise above highschool honey.
Ciao sweety. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/10/2007 7:53:35 PM | If it's some idiot talking shit, suck it up and walk away. Now, if this idiot took a swing at my date, or spilled his drink on her on purpose or some other physical act, then be damned, I would knock his teeth into next week. Other than that, if my date can't take some verbal abuse from a total stranger, an idiot who probably just made himself look really bad to everyone in ear shot, she's not worth the jail time I (as in me, not you) would be spending.
^^^^That is perfectly said and exactly to my liking, no need for me to say anymore. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/10/2007 8:00:15 PM | me personally ...well i would send the guys nuts into space before my guy got a lookin,but hell thats just me  | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/10/2007 11:06:37 PM | Hmmm, tough one. I would say if I am some place and I don't want to leave, then this person would have to shut up and go away. I don't think I would immediately knock the sh*t out him, as long as he shut up and left.
If he just stood there insulting your date, refused to stop, then that is a challenge. I really don't see a problem with knocking the hell out him. Every guy knows that is a challenge to a fight. If you don't want to fight then don't do it. Polite people rarely get their teeth knocked out.
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/10/2007 11:22:14 PM | I doubt that anything a stranger said to me could make me cry..What does Thier opinion matter to me?
I'd like my Bf to just stand in front of me ..(blocking offender's view)...If he still didn;t leave , ask the bartender to call the bouncer. I am really not impressed by someone getting violent over a comment.. Words are words and I wouldn't want to see my bf get into trouble over some loser.
Now someone putting thier hands on me... that's something else | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/10/2007 11:44:20 PM | I say fight fire with fire. If the guy is being verbal, a look and a brief reply indicating just how pitifuly weak his comments are is more than enough. Then we can remove ourselves from the situation. If I'm in a bar and some guy is being a hassle and persistent - I'll let the bouncers deal with him. People like that are bad for business and the proprietors don't want them around to scare off good patrons any more than we want to deal with them. Let the jerk's attitude wreck his own night, not yours.
Personally, I am absolutely turned off by a guy who is eager to jump into a fight just because some moron is trying to make himself feel big by insulting strangers. This jerk just isn't worth the effort. I have never seen anything good come of a bar fight and seeing my date get injured, thrown in jail, or even just thrown out of the bar is not my idea of fun. Besides, if throwing a punch is the most intelligent way my date can think of to deal with an idiot, he is just not for me.
However, in the extremely unlikely event that someone physically attacked me, I would want my guy to jump to my defense, but that's it. I can't stand unnecessary, macho retribution - the whole "I'll teach this creep a lesson" attitude. A guy like that isn't going to learn a thing by having his face pounded in. He's only going to feel more justified in being an a$$ to someone again later. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/10/2007 11:49:50 PM | He should have stood up for her! What's wrong with these **** men these days?
God!! | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 1:14:22 PM | Some of the women here get it and some don't. It really has little to do with the lady when it comes to why the person would require an a$$ whipping.
It has to do with the fact that this behavior is a challenge. A guy does not walk up to a couple and start insulting the woman because he wants to hurt her, he wants to beat up the guy.
Trust me on this one, it is common knowledge to a guy. So at that point you can accept the challenge or not.
Nothing wrong with a guy who does not want to fight, or if fighting is not his cup of tea, letting a bouncer or some other fellow handle it for him. Personally I take care of my problems myself. If I have to spend a night in jail for it, so be it, jail is not that bad, not as bad as the hospital the other guy is in, with his mouth wired shut eating mushy corn through a straw.
Ok, I am done. Don't want everyone on here thinking I am a red neck.
Anyway I am done here. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 4:18:52 PM | It has to do with the fact that this behavior is a challenge. A guy does not walk up to a couple and start insulting the woman because he wants to hurt her, he wants to beat up the guy.
A man who can not pass it up when there is verbal challenge would not impress me much..I don't go out for drama and flying fists. Actaully the man who has to have a fistfight cz a drunk has to say something has really "lost the challenge" bcz they let the drunk deteremine thier behavior..thier night and thier criminal record.
How many drunken idiots will one likely come across? depending on where one goes more than one..A man who can't control his temper and has to look like "big man"
over a comment isn't impressive esp cause as you said it has nothing to do with the woman...just his ego. A response of violence to words is immature and would make me very wary of the man. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 4:46:10 PM | One way to deal with a drunk,,,be it a man or woman,,,,when they say something imporper ,,,do not ruin your evening,,,,at work,,when faced with very hostile people,,,men and women,,,,
Only one of many ways in law enforcement come in handy in social life,,,heck I stilll carry hand cuffs in my truck,,,on the shifter,,head some dates wonder why,,,simple,,,be it at a rest area,parking lot,,where ever,,if I have a problem,,I very politly cuff them up and leaft them attached to a bumper,tree,sign,,,or to some object,,,along will come a street cop,,,,uncuff them,,,hold onto them ,,make out a police report on him,her,,,,,,than just call friends at work,,,to replace the ones I used,,,
Say to the drunk or druggie,,,this is just one axample,,be creatative,,
"I guess we went to different hight schools at different time didn't we",,,drunks get so fcased on what you just said trying to fugure it out,,they forgot in thier drug,or booze stupor what they even said to you and you just walk off,,,
Smiling,,,than they look like the dummies they are,,, | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 5:34:10 PM | Hey I agree it is best not to fight.
But I guess my point in that fellow should have thought about that before he puts a guy on the spot. His bad, not mine. Plus remember, reference the fact you would not be impressed, it is not about you. It is about the two guys really, and when it is time to crack someone you really should not do it to impress a girl anyway, its serious business.
Also I look at the scenario as not just bumping into a drunk, but an unconscionable ball buster who won't leave you alone. I live in a small town, what am I supposed to do, stay home because I don't want to run into him again. Nope, not my style, take care of it now, one way or another.
This is how my father taught me to handle bullies, and it has worked quite well all my life. I recommend it.
I will tell you this, if everybody let people run over them like that, there would be an epidemic of a$$holes living out there greatest bully fantasies. It would be difficult to go out and have a good time.
Some suggest calling the police. Not a good idea. I can tell you when this happens, you have about as good a chance as the A$$hole does of going to jail. Cops don't liked to be bugged with silly sh!t like this, trust me on this one.
But they don't mind showing up after you knock the moron out, makes things easier for them. Only one story to write down, LOL.
You should be grateful there are a few guys out there crazy enough to crack an a$$hole when he is begging for it. Makes it easier on the guys who don't like to stand up for themselves. You see the a$$holes and bullies are never quite sure if they can get away with this, so they do it less often.
No need to thank me, but you are welcome. LOL.
Ok, no one else quote me. LOL. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 7:21:07 PM | I witnessed something similar years ago. I worked in a Reno casino as a valet. A few of us were standing at the bell desk podium right next to the main casino entrance. A limo rolls up (not ours so we looked to see who it was) and a guy and gal dressed up for a night on the town got out. At the same time a group of about 7 HUGE guys (they were actually UFC qualifiers) were waiting for their van to be brought up. One of the UFC guys started making lewd comments to the girl implying she was a prostitute... but kinda worse. Her date noticed this and started telling the guys off. He was face to face with a few guys, the other UFCers were watching on. The girl went to the first insulting UFC guy (still insulting and laughing the whole time mind you) and went to slap him. Before she could hit him the guy grabbed her wrist, spun her around and got her into a chokehold with her own arm. He took a step back so all her weight was supported by her throat. Her eyes started bugging out since she couldn't breathe. Her date tried to run over to help her but the 3 guys grabbed him to stop him. He then tried to throw a punch so they threw him backwards into the front desk check in area. The guy got up and grabbed a stanchion and tried to swing it at the 3 UFCers but those things are really heavy. The UfC guys easily dodged and at that point ALL of them ran over to the poor guy and proceeded to PUMMEL the CRAP outta him. At this point all the security guards came sprinting over, (we called as soon as the girl was getting choked) and some of the UFC guys ran out of the casino and some stayed. When I saw the guys face who got beat, his face was already swelled up like the friggin' elephant man. By the way, the timespan from the girls first slap to the UFC guys running out was about 30 seconds.
So a week later or so I find out after all that, who was responsible? Well, the GIRL was responsible because she threw the first "punch". They had tried to sue for hospital bills and such, I think, but after investigation by police, a P.I. and casino security that's what the conclusion was.
This is a pretty extreme example but it does remind me that no matter how many insults are thrown, you simply cannot be the FIRST to react physically. If you do, YOU will be held responsible.
To the OP, I'd simply suggest a verbal response back to the jerko is the best response. I'd just say something like, " Who the f' asked you in the first place dipsh-t?!Are you finished wasting our f'ing time now?" Then try to ignore him, hopefully. I'd try to stay away from anything where he could respond, " And what are you gonna do about it?" Of course if a guy says that back to you I think it means he's afraid to throw the first punch because he's putting that ball back into your court. Soooooooooooooooo many guys talk tough,talk tough,talk tough blah, blah. The guys who are dangerous don't talk much, they just start swinging. If two guys face off and no punches are thrown in the first 30 seconds or less I don't think anything is gonna happen.
But yeah, I definitely think you should stand up for your girl, and yourself, you just don't have to fight (let's hope!) to do it, you can use your brain too.  | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 7:59:11 PM | Good post Euskadi.
It is true legally that you should not throw the first punch. I think that decision needs to be balanced with how dangerous of a situation you are in though. If a guy is verbally threatening you with physical violence, then it is appropriate to knock him out when he is within range. Better in jail then dead or beat up. Once a guy gets within striking range if he starts first, good chance you will get hit. Remember it will take you a half a second to react, a good fighter can throw at least three hard accurate punches in that amount of time. If he pops you hard in a vital area, well you are his b!tch at that point, LOL. And if he is there to beat you up and impress his old girl friend, well only god can you help you at that point. God wants us to help ourselves, LOL. And don't forget, if this fellow is a real bad guy, your date is now standing there alone, wishing you had punched first, LOL.
I guess my point is you have a responsibility to protect a loved one, your date, your family and yourself, and many would add innocent helpless people, like the guys trying to talk there way out of it, LOL. I look at this different than many, because I know how dangerous a human can be. It is not a time to talk or try to rehabilitate the guy, that is not your responsibility. It is time to disable him so he can not hurt you or whoever you are with.
Of course I refer to the unconscionable ball busting bully, not the harmless drunk. Just so we are clear.
Ok , really this time, my last post in this thread.
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 8:06:23 PM | But I guess my point in that fellow should have thought about that before he puts a guy on the spot. His bad, not mine. Plus remember, reference the fact you would not be impressed, it is not about you. It is about the two guys really, and when it is time to crack someone you really should not do it to impress a girl anyway, its serious business.
His bad is being drunk and saying somethng...My dates bad would be if he had to go down tothe drunks level bcz he has such a fragile ego..
I guess if someone really feels it is about him and the guy..He doesn't care that he will will make a bad impression on me..Cares more that the drunk think the right way about him then me..Is willing to get a criminal record,,ruin our evening and such over something that could easily be avoided...He wouldn't be the guy for me..If he has
problems keeping his hands to himself I'd consider him a bad prosppect anyway.
These types of situations is why they have bouncers I have never failed to have a bouncer handle a situation like that. We all run into crazies the question is do we let them turn us into one too?. I don't.
I don't know where you live but here they arrest Both people in a brawl. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 8:45:54 PM | Judy I think you and I have a different view of the scenario. I just envision it being a little more threatening I think. If it was in general a non threatening encounter, just a loudmouth, I of course would not just whack someone in the nose. I would have to have an urgent feeling of impending attack if you know what I mean.
But I would tell someone to go away if they are bugging my date and I. That just seems natural to me. Why should anyone put up with that?
I totally agree with you reference being civil to people and not being a violent person.
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 8:52:50 PM | Some drunk college kid was being obnoxious to a friend of mine. After taking a moment to plan things out while dumping some adrenaline (just in case) I simply grabbed her, put myself between them, gave him a look and said, "not cool". He apologized and that was the end of it. I got to be all studly that night because my gf was with me so I ended up with a hot girl on each arm for a while.
Here's the math: It was crowded and we were standing. Someone needed to get between them before things escalated. Bouncers were not an option, though I'm not shy about letting them deal with the trash, they get paid for that. If I touched the guy he may want to instantly get physical and I could be charged with assault. By grabbing her I let him know she was with me, she would be reassured with a friendly arm around her and wouldn't react further, and I'd be on the front line. If something went down, I'd be the level-headed guy with two girls behind me so anyone jumping in would be able to see what was going on.
I think the key to these situations is to do what I did first. Take a moment and think. Chivalry be damned, do whatever let's you enjoy the rest of the evening (not in jail). If a woman is impressed because someone will throw the first punch for her then she's trash. And no good can come from pulling a jerk off to the side and telling him he's a jerk or making any more of a scene than is necessary. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 9:00:16 PM | I think in this situation he said (whatever?) insulting her.. If someone is menacing and seems like they might actually get violent it's kind of a different thing,,I agree.
I'd aprreciate my date standing in btwn me and el drunko..( read : I do not mind hiding behind a guy) but I still would not want him to throw a punch (tempting as it might be) bcz then He is going to get in trouble,,the night's a mess and all over some no goodnik.
People like that can really being infuriating and unpredictable. Even getting into thier face can lead to something.. I try to avoid them as much as possible..and wouldn't look down on a date who suggested sitting somewhere else and calling the bouncer.
Smart to avoid trouble when possible and besides el drunko is usually irrational.
I think you have the best interests at heart and are very protective,,which is great just sometimes less is more. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 10:15:03 PM | I really appreciate gentlemanly, chivalrous qualities...so if I was ever in this situation, this is what would definitely win me over :
My guy should be able to calmly look at the other guy in the eye, and with courage, in a calm, cool, collected voice, simply state, " I think what you did is wrong. Please kindly apologize to her and mean it ". If the other guy refuses, then he can punch him out. If the other guy actually apologizes, then it's all good. No other words need to be uttered. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 10:23:30 PM | the man i would like to be with....i want him to have the mentality to be able to walk away but he knows damn well in his mind he can kick his ass if it was truly necessary.
i think a man that can walk away is much stronger than trying to prove he can kick someone's ass,but yet he knows he could if it really came down to it...if it did come down to it....it would be a one punch knock out..done like dinner,lol | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 10:40:40 PM | It's obvious what kind of men some of you women date lol. Not all of us are built "Ford Tough"  I am not one to back down from a fight if I am faced with no other alternative, but I am not dumb enough to provoke one that I know I won't at the very least, do as much as what might be done to me. I don't give a shit what woman I am with. As I said before, if the fight can be avoided then I will do as much. If the girl is pissed because I avoided the fight, then she can take a ride home with the ass that talked shit to her while I go find a real woman.  | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/11/2007 10:42:37 PM | | Chances are the guy at the bar was drunk. In that case he should have been cut off and expelled by the bouncer. | |
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