| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/12/2007 3:07:00 AM | My take on this is obviously the jerk running his mouth is looking for a fight. In code he's calling on the boyfriend by insulting his woman. The jerk knows that the boyfriend would feel the need to step up and defend his woman aswell as his male ego. The jerk instigating the fight obviously is already in fight mode... he's just waiting for the boyfriend to get in his face. Satisfaction for him. There is a good chance the jerk has a couple of buddies standing elsewhere watching this idiot cause sh*t just waiting to step in if needed.
I've dated the men who'd fight at the drop of a hat and i've dated them men who wouldn't throw a punch unless their lives depended on it.
Personally... I'm not a fan of watching the man i'm with get beatin down or hurt. I can understand WHY he'd feel the need to step up to the plate and say something to the jerk because I know if some chickie came up to my man and started insulting him... I wouldn't think twice about defending him. I would prefer if things wouldn't get physical between the two guys, ignore and let be but i've learned from personal experience it doesn't always happen that way. Sometimes no matter how hard you and your man try to walk away... that jerk is looking for a fight and he isn't going to back down. If my man can just tell the jerk to get lost and leave it at that...PERFECT!! But if things get physical between them, I definitely wouldn't get angry with my date. I wouldn't expect him to fight and i'd be quite impressed if we could walk away from the situation with no fists flying through the air but I also know dealing with a drunken idiot isn't always that easy.
If the jerk swings at my man I wouldn't be upset if he defended himself or if he decided to walk away. I know that any words the jerk said couldn't hurt me that bad... i'd be more concerned that my man doesn't get physically hurt because of it. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/12/2007 3:19:08 AM | Be yourself, not who you THINK she wants you to be.
You didn't say what the insult was, so for the sake of it let's assume it was of the worst kind. (He made fun of her bald headed child going through radiation therapy) Now, does that make a difference? If it does, ask yourself why one insult is worse than any other. Would you have snickered if the insult was left-handed? "That dress would have looked better with your sister in it."
Jerks like you describe are only jerks because no-one has obviously ever stood up to them and jacked one their teeth out. Fact~
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/12/2007 5:46:53 PM | It would really depend on the situation.
Heck, I'm Irish so if I really took offense it might be me who punches the a$$ right in the face  or at least he'd be wearing my drink!
Seriously though I would expect my man to defend me - either through his words or his actions depending on what would be most effective in the situation. Usually, I'd expect to start with words... of course if the troublemaker is just drunk and looking for a fight - we'd just walk the other way.
Now if my guy just looked at his feet and tried to pretend it didn't happen - I'd dump the wimp right there and then thank the troublemaker for outing my guy as a loser! | |
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Epica
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Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 54 | |
| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/12/2007 5:51:24 PM | | I would expect my man to react as I would: Upfront and seriously tell buddy to back off now or we could have words. Doesn't mean any fists have to fly. I've found that many people who are invited to have more in-depth conversations usually back off. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/12/2007 8:32:45 PM | I know this isn't my forum, and my gender isn't being asked the question, but I gotta say from my point of view...
Violence honestly doesn't solve anything. If he hit her, different story. You really want to have a assault charge against you for something this stupid? I wouldn't. If I felt like I had to do something, I'd try to defuse the situation. If he ends up hitting me, I'd fight back definitly. I know that I'm not going to be the one getting roughed up by the police for harassing a woman afterwords.
It takes a bigger man to walk away. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/12/2007 11:28:53 PM |
It has to do with the fact that this behavior is a challenge. A guy does not walk up to a couple and start insulting the woman because he wants to hurt her, he wants to beat up the guy. I don't think this was brought out enough. I see and hear about a lot of immature guy-behaviour, teaching lads mostly in their late teens-20's. They are not really interested in upsetting girls. Sure they say offensive things to girls a lot of the time, but if they went and insulted someone's girlfriend it is because they want to get at him. Mostly they lads I see insult each other's mothers and sisters to rile them up.
Violence is something best avoided. I'd not want anyone to initiate it on my behalf, ever. Or to incite it by responding verbally to someone who is just looking for an excuse to get violent. I can't imagine being that upset by anything a random stranger said, but I should think if your girlfriend was upset in this way, it'd be best to smile and nod politely at him and put your arm around her and make quiet observations in her ear, about the similarities between the moron who's causing trouble and the monkey at the zoo. If he continues to be a pain in the neck, or she continues to be upset, leave. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/12/2007 11:43:48 PM | The only thing worse then a monkey that has run a muck is a gorilla that responds
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/12/2007 11:52:40 PM | I used to bounce in a bar. Anyone that got into a fight went home in a cop car, but not before getting roughed up by my fellow bouncers. You might be able to fight the drunkard, but you will have a hell of a time fighting 5 or six 300lbs + bouncers.
Even if you are not resistent you will still get pinned at first and you WILL get kicked out of the bar and that will ruin everyone else's night.
There is no sense in going home with a black eye, broken bones and possible charges and being banned from that bar.
That is not to mention that you can get stabbed or shot in a bar fight. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/13/2007 3:18:31 AM | | personally I would tell him where to go and how to get there and this is where you would have to take me out of the social situation before we (the man who insulted and me) got into a fistfight that would put UFC to shame. He should ask what his girlfriend wants from him. Most of the time however girls want you to console them, for the most part excluding myself, we are fragile creatures and we will look for some comfort. Tell the big bad wolf to take a hike, maybe in some more choice words or something equally eloquent maybe to baffle his mascilinity. Because obviously any man that needs to come up to a woman with a guy by her side and insult her has issues with his manlyness, in whatever form it may be, emotional or otherwise. Maybe you can chalk it up to experience that this dude just had a rotten night trying to get laid and needed to diss someone to boost his ego. Whatever it is let the guy know you will not stand for it in a non-violent way and be the shoulder to cry on for her, besides, whos the most important person in this situation anyways? | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/13/2007 4:36:38 AM | Bwahahahah, every time I read some post saying "Violence never solves anything" I have to wonder why we aren't paying taxes to some KING, on the money we make from SLAVE labor! Sure, "we shall overcome" was a pacifistic style and it worked, but history proves not in all instances.
Let's cut to the chase here, would you rather be judged by 12 or carried by 6? Because that's what it boils down to. Jack the sucker in the head, and don't fear the Bouncers.
*Good/Smart Bouncers don't adhere to bar 'policy' and throw everyone out, they figure out who the ***hole is and void the bar of him. And if they get it wrong, big deal, a few lumps give ya character. Assault charges from a barfight with a drunk? What rock you live under? | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/13/2007 4:40:46 AM | | Tiggee said it quit well.... a look that told him to back off or loose his bal$$ | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/14/2007 1:59:33 AM | Honestly, i would probably mouth off to the other guy and give him a piece of my mind.  But if it was something that was hurtful enough to make me cry,  i would initially want my date to stand up and either have the last seethingly witty remark,  to make that jerk feel 2 inches tall, or if he could get a away with it and not get into trouble lay that fool out. 
just being honest | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/14/2007 8:31:46 AM | Normally, all it takes is for me to stand up to make the other guy back down. Which is good, because I don't like fighting.
I think fighting over words is stupid. If some punk wants to run his mouth, I might be inclined to laugh at him and make him feel stupid.. but no need to do anything that will get me arrested over it, girl or no girl.
On the other hand, if the guy is threatening violence or has committed a violent act... then more may have to be done to prevent an immediate danger.
I'm man enough to say "Come on, lets get out of here" before acting like I have to prove something by kicking some drunk idiot's ass. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/14/2007 2:15:05 PM |
Bwahahahah, every time I read some post saying "Violence never solves anything" I have to wonder why we aren't paying taxes to some KING, on the money we make from SLAVE labor! Sure, "we shall overcome" was a pacifistic style and it worked, but history proves not in all instances.
Let's cut to the chase here, would you rather be judged by 12 or carried by 6? Because that's what it boils down to. Jack the sucker in the head, and don't fear the Bouncers.
*Good/Smart Bouncers don't adhere to bar 'policy' and throw everyone out, they figure out who the ***hole is and void the bar of him. And if they get it wrong, big deal, a few lumps give ya character. Assault charges from a barfight with a drunk? What rock you live under?
And if the guy is carrying a gun or a knife?
And yes a good bouncer would throw out everyone involved in the altercation. If it gets violent, then you have to throw everyone that was involved "no questions asked" because your boyfriend let it escalate and there is a good chance he will let it escalate again with a different person.
However the best staff/bouncers are able to spot a potential situation and talk the people down, and then decide who or if they want to throw someone out, . If it's caught that early and handled well, the people will usually leave with out any help.
Resorting to violence really shows a lack of restraint and a bigger character, | |
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SXECHF
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Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 65 | |
| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:27:19 PM | Hummm....tough one!
Well ideally i'd like my guy to be big and strong and muscle up to the prick and give him a good smacker.....and obivously win!
My ex boyf was big and protecting like that, he was an ex boxing champion and it was such a huge turn on when he would step in front of me to protect me!!!!!
However if this happened....( some prick coming up to me and insulting me ) then i would slap him or kick him in the balls, or both? .....if he was a small fella and my boyf could handle it then i'd let him finish him off, however if he was bigger than my boyf i'd still do it but grab my boyf and run for our lives! lol  | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:59:35 PM | I'd probably haul back and hit him myself... Whatever the guy does he does... if he acts like a girl I might be offended but that's about it... Would also have to be really rude for me to hit him though. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:06:50 PM | i have to agree with Bren.. though i wouldn't actually hit him, i'd probably leave his ego bruised and walk away. Maybe not even bother.
i think, though, that i've dated one too many angry men to think that him smacking the jerk around would help any. Honestly..? i'd prefer to know that my man is man enough to just ask me how i am, then take me away without being low enough to relieve someone of a few teeth.
x | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:30:31 PM | OP
First of all, no woman with any maturity would take offense to an AA Hole that did something like that. Why even bother to waste yours or anybody else's energy on a goof like that!!! Life is too short.
And secondly, I don't need a man to defend me I am perfectly capable of handling the situation myself. Just like if a girl insulted my man, I would expect him to handle the situation because it was directed at him?
We are all responsible for our own actions... and words. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 3/14/2007 6:08:43 PM | | Defend the girl! I donno its kinda good at the begining of the relationship to know the guy will stand up for you. If he sits there and watches you get hurt from the start, where the heck do you expect to be later on? Its the same with girls.... if you cant defend your man and you're willing to sit there and watch him get hurt.... your an idiot | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 4/3/2007 8:26:56 PM | Smack the sucker hard and fast and put him on his butt. If he had buddies, they're more a lot less likely to get involved if they see their buddy get put down hard and fast. They'll more than likely help him up and get out. As far as police. As for police, they won't get there till after the fight is over more than likely and unless one of the bouncers is an off duty cop, all you have to do is calmly walk towards the exit after you've put the idiot down.
As far as a gun or knife, unless he has it in his hand when it starts, he's going to be down and out before he has a chance to pull it. | |
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| Fighting for you....
Posted: 4/3/2007 9:44:28 PM | | I'm far more impressed by a guy who has a good witty, or intellectual comeback, than a good right hook ( I could do that). I'm usually pretty quick with the comebacks myself so all I would expect would be some back-up on that front. The best thing in the end is that, after a good verbal put down of the jerk, the two of us then stand there and laugh at him (this has happened, and it feels great!). | |
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ktm71
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Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 72 | |
| Fighting for you....
Posted: 4/4/2007 4:45:06 AM | Nothing better than a quick 'in your face' put down BUT it usually just makes the guy more aggresive . The pull him aside and have a quiet word option is a no go to, he wants confrontation , thats why he is being disrespectful. You have no choice but to ignore him and reassure her or just leave. I have been in the situation a few times and tried all the possible alternatives. Some girls actually like you hitting another bloke to defend them, some dont. If you dont know how the girl will react then violence is not the answer. Although in my younger days i have hit guys to defend/protect women and have to say, if the guy is thouroughly deserved of whack , its no bad thing.
Sometimes these a***holes need to be taught a lesson! | |
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