pemsit
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Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 26 | |
| Impotence
Posted: 3/12/2007 8:43:57 AM | | A lot of it is in the mind, the last lady I was in a relationship with, even though I enjoyed her company just didn't do much for me, the one I'm dating now is a real turn on, I feel like a twenty year old again. | |
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Posted: 3/12/2007 10:27:26 AM | On another thread that had a similar topic - a gal typed something like ...
“if I am having casual sex and the guy cant (I forget the actually words she used but) get it up - I would tell him to take a hike”.
What I said on this thread was - not to confuse anxiety with actual physical situations. Don’t be so fast to tell the go to go pizz off.
I like naked females as much as most guys but .......... I am very turned off to casual sex. At first I told myself “ok - I can do this if this is how it is these days” ........... I soon changed my tune on that. ............. barf | |
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Posted: 3/12/2007 10:45:36 AM | "Booooiiiing!!" 'Plunk your magic twanger, froggy"....... remember the old andy divine show?? whew...a long time ago!! ha ha!
Its good to hear that apparantly a lot of women don't seem to mind the ED problem? Not sure I believe it yet... but, its encouraging.
Bobbin: yer still the master. hee hee.
Ok...just how long does a msg. hve to be in here? All of the above that I just wrote was considered too short for posting? come on. With all the overblown, long winded, pastes, and posts in these forums that often get into the thousands of words... one would think that succintness would be a virtue? Oh well. har. | |
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Posted: 3/12/2007 1:51:00 PM | "Its good to hear that apparantly a lot of women don't seem to mind the ED problem? Not sure I believe it yet... " (was stated above)
Well.......
I'll speak up for the many women who don't even have that thought (do they or don't they have ED) in their mind when meeting a man!
I'll speak up for the many women who would "worry about it" ONLY if the man was upset and worried over it!
I'll speak up for the many women who really know, have grown up enough to know, that the love and the caring is so much more important than can he or can't he "get it up"!
I'll speak up for the many women who can have fun with their mate with variety in the bedroom, not dependent on only his being hard!
I'll speak up for the many women who can find pleasure in the personality of the man, and doesn't have to BE pleasured with a part of the body of the man!
~smile~ Robin | |
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Posted: 3/12/2007 2:06:13 PM | I was reading on a thread the other day here about people aging and how they are enjoying their life now (45-50-66- etc) more than at a younger age. Well, we do have more freedoms in some ways than younger folks, kids usually out of the nest, etc. and this woman wrote that she was getting more sex at 65 "in the bathrooms at clubs and in the back seats of cars" than she ever had before. (By the way she is married)BARF--
Found another post from an "professional escort" yet, who has her photo of her sitting on a bed yet, asking "why can't I find a nice guy? Everytime I tell them what I do for a living they just want a free sample. I just do it to give my KIDS a good life so I can be a full time mommy" BARF again.
I know there are folks out there that think "how big it is" how "stiff it is" how OFTEN it gets still, and some that don't care WHAT or WHO it is "connected to" they will jump it anywhere any time. So will my dog, fortunately, he is high blooded enough that he gets frequent opportunities for me to pimp him out, and he doesn't care what she looks like or who she has been with before, and isn't looking for a "relationship"--one night stands are fine with him.
To me IMHO, for what it is worth, an ADULT human that thinks that HOT SEX is the most important part of a "relationship" or that wants "sex" with strangers just has not matured enough to be worthy of my consideration. I have a very "healthy" libido for a woman of any age, and I expect to have that feeling until even a steam iron won't iron the wrinkles out of my "birthday suit" (my grandparents were still doing it until their mid 80s when he died.) but if "it" ain't connected to the man I love, I'm not interested and if the man I love has had it removed for whatever reason, I would still love him and we would still have the most rocking, wonderful INTIMACY that two people ever had! | |
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| Impotence
Posted: 3/12/2007 2:20:59 PM |
a person who can't perform sexually
Nobody said "can't perform".
Penetration is only one aspect of "performing". | |
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Posted: 3/12/2007 2:54:01 PM | | Thanks Bobbin for your thoughtful comment. I am 47 and for the first time had a problem with ED, a couple of months ago, It was not a permenant problem and the equipment has performed since then but it was the first time she and I had had sex so I was embarrassed as hell. Luckely I was with a woman such as yourself that realizes it's not the size of my wallet or penis that makes me a man it is the amount of compassion in my heart. It is good to know there are women of character, Love and understanding out there. | |
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Posted: 3/12/2007 3:36:06 PM | Robin- you go girl! could not have said it better myself. | |
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Posted: 3/12/2007 4:36:40 PM | artsyred52....
I've responded to a few posts on the message boards about this subject.
However, as I feel I have been through " it all", so to speak, I will post my story once more.
I was involved in a LTR ( 2 & 1/2 yrs ) with a 51/52 year old man that sufferred from impotence, but even worse, after going on high blood pressure medication, he also lost ALL interest in sex....
For the first year, I begged him to see a doc, bought books on the subject, researched all I could find and joined ED support groups, etc.
In the end, he pushed me away, as I was the cause of "stressing him out".
Although he readily admitted he was "broken", the end result of having been rejected by the man I loved for so long, devastated me and it will take me a long time to find any semblance of self confidence again.
If your man won't talk about it or turns a deaf ear to your concerns, please heed my warning. I don't mean to scare you or anything, but for me, being in this relationship was the most painful thing I have ever endured.
Good luck,
Streph | |
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| Impotence
Posted: 3/12/2007 5:30:52 PM | After all, why are so many people posting in the forums instead of being in a relationship?
I do both, but then I've always been able to multitask! 
There are some more options besides surgery and little blue pills. See the following link on alprostadil, phentolamine, and papaverine. Alprostadil can be administered transurethrally, topically and by injection. The others are injection only as far as I know. These drugs can be used in conjunction with Viagra, Cialis and Levitra for men who can take these drugs and/or who find them somewhat usesful. They can be used alone in men who are not candidates for PDE5 inhibitors. Transurethral route works around 50 percent of the time, injection around 75 percent.
Here's a site that has info. It's About.com, but has the basics:
http://adam.about.com/reports/000015_10.htm
There's a new drug coming out in a few years called bremelanotide. Has had positive results on both male and female sexual dysfunction. See:
http://www.palatin.com/products/bremelanotide/overview.asp
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mar814
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Joined: 11/16/2006
Msg: 36 | |
| Impotence
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:45:14 PM | | I've only encountered it with one man and like your beau, he was a diabetic. He was only 44. | |
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Posted: 3/12/2007 8:51:35 PM | I have posted on this subject in the past and it died quickly. Nice to see this is getting more air time.
I was treated for Prostate Cancer with radiation. It does cause some issues. I have not been in relationship since this occured and it has been on my mind. I like to think of myself as a sexual person and certainly hope to have another kick at the cat. It is heartwarming that most of the responses see sexuality in its totallaty and not just "doing it". It is also satisfying to see that many women have not given up on their enjoyment of the topic either. I'm tired of reading threads on "not giving in " until mister perfect comes along. This gives me hope that we, for the most part, are still open to having a loving relationship and that sexuality, in many/most of its forms is still a possibility.
For those of you that have decided that its all or nothing, I put it too you that f**cking is not intimacy. It is part of the puzzle to be sure, making love to your partner, enjoying there company and laughing together are my priorities.
Of course I probrably have ED issues so perhaps I'm just looking for the easy way out.
I'm told the PILLS will do little or nothing. Give me a nice smile and a deep look in my eyes and you'll have 90% of my attention. Maybe more.
Alan | |
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| Impotence
Posted: 3/12/2007 9:45:34 PM | | Alan, go see your urologist and ask about ED surgery. There are many different kinds of implants and they are improving them each day! There is no reason for any man not to be able to have intercourse unless it has been removed. Even then, there is INTIMACY! WITH LOVE. Good luck--ps. tell us what your urologist recommends, I've been retired from medicine long enough that I am out dated, and that never was my speciality anyway. | |
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Posted: 3/13/2007 5:24:08 AM | This won't help anyone who's already HAD radiation for prostate cancer. However, if you've been newly diagnosed, there is an alternative to surgery and radiation that can save you from side effects, impotence, and incontinence. It is not some weird alternative therapy, but your doctor won't tell you about it.
It's called proton therapy.
Unfortunately, there are at present only 5 centers in the US, 5 more are coming, and in the next couple of decades there should be 100 in the country.
Proton therapy kills cancer with virtually NO damange to healthy cells. In addition, protons can deliver a higher dose to cancer cells because there are no worries about damaging surrounding tissues. There is a site that will link you to information about how proton therapy works and to all the full service centers in the US except for Harvard (I have no idea why they don't link it):
http://www.proton-therapy.org/
This is the link to the Harvard center:
http://www.massgeneral.org/cancer/about/providers/radiation/proton/index.asp
The bad part is if you are not near a center you will have to travel to one and pay for your own lodging to participate. All of the centers have inexpensive housing nearby to accommodate patients. Loma Linda is the largest and oldest of the 5 centers.
Most insurance carriers and Medicare will pay for proton therapy.
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Posted: 3/13/2007 6:01:01 AM | Hi again Angelic...
I am not knocking the real deal, the whole enchilada, when it comes to making love. I am just saying there are many forms of intimacy. The man I speak of in my previous post never left the bedroom, or any other "room" for that matter, without knowing with absolute certainty that he was both loved by and attractive to me. At the same time I had no doubt that he found me attractive and knew how to please me.
I find it kind of sad that you would drop all intimate contact with a man because he couldn't "perform."
Re posting on the forums, I find it to be of great benefit in regard to meeting some nice people from all over the country/world that I would never have met otherwise. I have also had a lot more messages from interested men since I started posting on here. These forums allow others to get a sense of what makes you tick, your moral values, your sense of humor.....that may not be evident in your profile.
Bonnie
  <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>  | |
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Posted: 3/13/2007 10:31:17 AM | | I am sorry you were berated as you were. I know what its like to have a man with diabetes and ED. There are alternatives available. Yes it is a good idea to talk to a doctor about them, preferably a specialist in the field. This is a very common problem among men who have diabetes. It sneaks up on them gradually and they aren't really aware of this. My partner had diabetes and this was a problem he refused to talk about with me - he was embarrassed as he was still only in his 40's. Taking viagra and such are dangerous to start off with because they raise the blood pressure and this could also affect him and may even bring on a heart attack because of the plaque build up in the arteries of diabetic people. Implants are an alternative, but don't always work. They are now working on grafting nerves to the penis of formrt prostrate cancer patients and find that this is a more successful alternative. This may be a question he could ask the specialist. If you care enough for each other, you can work it out together. Don't let smartass comments put you or him down. Talk it over with him. Read up on it. Ask the specialists. Don't give up just because.... | |
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Posted: 3/13/2007 4:05:29 PM | I had my prostate removed in 2001 and I have regretted it ever since. It is a very humbling experience to go through. I was only 52 years old. I was engaged at the time and after the surgery (maybe 4 months) my fiancée left me because she said that she needed sex too much.
It was explained to her that it would take time for me to heal. The doctor said that it would be anywhere from a year to 18 months to fully recover.
Before the surgery we were very sexually active. The breakup left me very hurt and angry not only with her but about me and my surgery also.
I have had a few other relationships since then but it is always the same, they want to leave for one reason or another... I am sure that it is the sex thing!
I have taken Viagra and the 2 other pills for ED and they work to some extent but I have started giving my self shots of 40MCG Alprostadil. This is the best that I have had and it works great. A lot of folks will say no way that it hurts too much but it really doesn't. The needle is so small that you hardly notice it. Yes, there is a little blood but I will always wear protection when I use the needle. As a matter of fact it doesn't always bleed.
I am always up front and honest with a woman and I hope that she will understand my problem.
Heck, I don't get gun shy because she has had a hysterectomy or a mastectomy so why am I treated so differently.
Oh by the way within 5 to 10 minutes of giving myself the shot I am rock solid and it will last from between 30 minutes to the longest so far of 2 1/2 hours.
Did I go off on this subject? If so sorry, I had to put my quarters worth in!
Happy Fishing!
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Posted: 3/13/2007 4:50:47 PM | I've been in two relationships with men with 'ED'. I cared enough about both so it really didn't matter. But what mattered was neither one of them tried to do anything about it. Both continued to consume alcohol, neither wanted to discuss the issue with their physician and both got 'bent out of shape' (excuse the pun) when I said, "I'm out of here".
It's nothing to be ashamed about. It's not what makes a man a man. But don't tell me it's VERY important and then do nothing to improve it.
LIB | |
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| Impotence
Posted: 3/13/2007 4:58:54 PM | God Bless all impotent men & frigid women. I merely think that for ME personally, I would NOt start a new relationship w/ someone who had these isssues. I have in the past & been very sweet & nice to the men who had "problems" -they were so uptight about their "problem" that they dumped me. A man who can "bring it home" in my experience, is way more confident.
If I were dating new men again ( I currently have a partner) & when it got down to it, if I said: "I can't have intercourse (wording it nicely) cause I have a cement block in my va-jay-jay", do you think any of those men would hang around?
People who are capable of having sex want to be w/ a partner(s) who can have sex & people who can't or who are limited in what they can do would be better off being w/ someone in the same category.
This is just my opinion for myself & if someone asked me for advice. It's all nice & sweet to be noble & say it don't matter- but it does...& why invest emotions w/ someone who would eventually move on to a greener pasture. JMHO | |
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Posted: 3/13/2007 5:12:33 PM | All I can say is "wow".
I can hear the outcry if a woman got dumped because she had a breast removed due to cancer.
Men dumped you because they were uptight? Why do I have a hard time believing that after what you have posted.
ED is a medical condition like cancer, leukemia, tuberculosis, lupus....
To hold a medical condition against someone... again, "wow". | |
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Posted: 3/13/2007 5:28:38 PM | I don't understand why this is an issue at all. Real Ladies know nothing of sex anyway. They don't even go to the bathroom, let alone have sex. Women are always telling men to wait, wait, wait. You would think that they would be happy to finally find a man who waits forever. Nobody wants to fall into the hands of a player. Guess what? There are no impotent players. Another problem solved.
Even in the extreme where a woman would want to have sex, say once a decade or so. BOB, their true and most faithful love, is NOT impotent. He performs on command and doesn't mind going home to his shoebox under the bed when things start getting too emotional. He never stalks. He never pressues. He never gets cling and needy. And he never cheats.
What's the beef? | |
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Posted: 3/13/2007 6:31:08 PM | ^^ In your late 40s, overweight and smokes. Guess you will see soon enough what is the beef, should you happen to develop Type II diabetes. You're an excellent candidate for it and for the neuropathy and lack of vasodilation control in your version of Bob.
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Not only is there a prevalence for PDE5 ( a phosphodiesterase. a vasoconstrictor) So what happens is this: too much insulin causes a problem with nitric oxide (NO) release. Because diabetics have very shitty free radical cleanup, excess blood sugar causes free radicals to form in the vascular system. These free radicals these quench the NO signal. No nitric oxide, no cyclic AMP and no dilation by relaxation of smooth muscle in the blood flow to the penis.
Its very sweet chemistry. Those who watch their diet and don't smoke and do exercise, have a significantly lower probability of developing this condition. Besides that pesky problem with nitric oxide, the inability to control vascular dilation also means they have a tendency towards high blood pressure, hypertension. You can't use these PDE5 drugs if you have hypertension.
Diabetics also have a problem with low hormone levels, called hypogonadism. Not only do they have a problem with too much PDE5 and impaired nitric oxide action, but they also don't make very much testosterone. Testosterone supplement (injection or transdermal gel) appears to help PDE5 work better in some diabetics who are also hypogonadal.
Nice to be able to post after Oxdrover and Alexandria_girl. They've covered the important stuff. | |
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Posted: 3/13/2007 6:45:50 PM | | ^^^^^ Well you got your wish long ago lady. Type II Diabetic for years now. John Thomas will not even salute the flag, but so what? It's not like anybody wants that. All I hear is "I don't want sex" and "I'm very old fashioned." WIN/WIN for everybody! Where is the controversy here? | |
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Posted: 3/13/2007 7:18:57 PM | Magic, I just don't think you have met the appropriate woman/women. Most of the women I know who want a relationship also want what goes with it--not "wait wait"
Thanks, Sombient--in addition, there are all kinds of other things besides those mentioned already--which is plenty--including sexual training. I used to teach paras and quads "alternative" sexually intimacies in a rehab program. Other areas of the body can be "reprogramed" to be exciting--and there are also "toys" that can be useful as Magic pointed out. Whatever gives each person a way to express their intimacy to their partner and is enjoyable for the couple is A-OK.
I do realize that some men have emotional problems if they have ED and think that this makes them less desirable, less manly, etc. and if this is the case, then psych counseling for the the couple might be in order.
Oh, depo-testosterone injections do have some side effects, including fatal liver failure, so if the man is not LOW in testosterone, I would not recommend that.
The main thing, is if there is a problem, get it fixed whatever way is good for you. And have a happy life!
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Posted: 3/13/2007 7:54:33 PM | Depo-testosterone is testosterone cypionate, a long ester that is injected every 21 days. There are more appropriate forms of shorter acting esters that don't have as much of an impact on liver. Its the ester chain length thats the problem when its cleaved enzymatically in the liver, not the testosterone itself. Luckily there are options available to physicians and their patients for treatment of hypogonadal complications of diabetes.
Good warning, Oxdrover on the inappropriate use of testosterone. In sedentary individuals, it backfires and it does so very badly, because they don't encourage the androgen receptors that tie up and keep injected testosterone from causing unwonted side effects. | |
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