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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 4:55:33 PM |
ALot of "If he doesnt say what I wanna hear, I just wont even respond to him"
So you are saying that a women should respond to creepy emails and if they don't they're "stuck up"? Can't say I agree with that. In fact I don't see any obligation for a woman to respond to unsolicited email at all and probably shouldn't respond to anything she finds creepy. | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 5:10:37 PM | | I didnt say that.... I said, " If he doesnt say what I want to hear" In other words, we are supposed to be mind readers, and just saying HI how are you...isnt enough to some of them....and then they turn around and say they dont play games. Granted not all women are like this, i know. But the ones who are, are the ones who turn around and say they cant find any decent guys. If she finds "HI I think you are beautiful" to be "CREEPY", then shes got issues, and no one is probably ever going to be good enough. | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 5:59:14 PM |
I didnt say that....
Really? I guess my cut-n-paste must be broken then.
If she finds "HI I think you are beautiful" to be "CREEPY", then shes got issues
I just spent a bit of time looking through your old engine51 posts. There's a long running theme in them that certainly makes it look like you have a big problem with hating women (or at least always complaining about them). Since you will never be able to change how women behave wouldn't your time be better spent on changing how you approach them? You are better looking and in better shape than I am, but I am the one that gets the email. Why do you think that is?
no one is probably ever going to be good enough
Then move on. This isn't the one for you. Those aren't the 'droids you are looking for... | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:07:35 PM | | trust me...i havent said anything bad about ALL women...in fact i have been very nice to them....but you dont see that or want to I guess. Well if you are getting messages to them maybe being ncie to them doesnt work i dont know. | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:19:59 PM | In my experience, someone who calls me "sexy" in a first email just wants to get in my pants. And even if he DOESN'T want to get in my pants, I just think it's tacky. If someone wants to pay me a compliment in a first contact email, he'll get a lot further with cute, pretty, beautiful, etc.
JMO. | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:21:06 PM | | I don't think there is a pat answer here... everyone is different. When in doubt, don't. If the only reason you're emailing is on looks, then don't email. If you have something to say, go ahead -- and leave off the comments regarding looks altogether. Most women won't feel short-changed, promise. and good luck. | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:21:41 PM | The bottom line here kids is that some people find it offensive, some find it a compliment and still others don't even care one way or another.
My whole beef with this subject and some of the postings are the generalizations and the assumptions that are made and the fact that some think that they speak for everyone, and that if you don't buy off into what they are saying then there is something diabolically wrong with you and you have to go eat your lunch all by yourself.
I know that each of us have an ego. Hell! Even I have an ego.
....But there's ego and then there's EGO-O-O-O-O-O
Personally speaking, I can live without the types who possess the latter | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:29:06 PM |
seems to be alot of ASSUMING going on here. ALot of "If he doesnt say what I wanna hear, I just wont even respond to him" Thats a pretty rude, stuck up attitude. Whatever happened to actually getting to know the guy berfore you ASSUME you have a clue about him?
Speaking of assuming...
So if a woman chooses not to respond to a person's e-mail, she is a stuck up a ss? What about if a guy does that to a woman, is he a stuck up a ss as well?
Did I miss the fine print that said we're all obligated to respond to every e-mail we get? | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:32:59 PM | I have to agree that there is no one answer. There are different types of people with varying personalities. Me personally, it depends on what kind of mood I'm in! Today for example, was not in the mood to be messed with and got an im from someone I didn't even know and he opened with "hey sexy mama". He was just looking to get laid. Maybe I have trust issues but certainly, in my experience, the guys who call me sexy in the very first contact are usually looking to hook up and f*ck rather than anything else. Then again, I've had true gentlemen tell me "by the way, you are very sexy" and it was after they had written their other info.
So it goes back to my point that everyone is different with varying opinions and thoughts. Which I believe is a good thing! | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:45:54 PM | I will always return your mail Paddy O...
seems to be alot of ASSUMING going on here. ALot of "If he doesnt say what I wanna hear, I just wont even respond to him" Thats a pretty rude, stuck up attitude. Whatever happened to actually getting to know the guy berfore you ASSUME you have a clue about him? I know this is a new concept for many people... "red flags." Those are signs that the person gives you that let you know who they are in an unspoken way.
I don't want anyone not involved with me calling me sexy or speaking to me in a sexual nature particularly before I have even met them in person. I am not so different than a lot of other women here or roaming around wild in the streets. This does not make me a prude, nor does it make me stuck up. It makes me an emotionally healthy woman who has a good idea of where her boundaries are, who is not willing to bother with someone who violates them in the opening salvo. If you have an issue with that, I would suggest the issue is entirely yours and has naught to do with me.
Last time I checked, no woman was obligated to reply. | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 7:18:58 PM |
I don't want anyone not involved with me calling me sexy or speaking to me in a sexual nature particularly before I have even met them in person.
So I went to far on the phone with you? Damn.
This does not make me a prude, nor does it make me stuck up.
I'm at a loss as to why so many boys here seem to think the "hey, sexy" first email is the thing to do. Maybe they think they're in a bar and the women are all drunk?
Last time I checked, no woman was obligated to reply.
I checked on that myself. Couldn't find anything that says "women must answer all emails". In fact I couldn't find anything about men being obligated either. | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/12/2007 9:52:54 PM | Hi Janet,
Now not playing Devils Advocate at all and agreeing with you 98% on this one, ( hey gotta leave room just incase  he wants to poke up his head) Anyways there isnt any one pat answer.
I know when I have emailed any woman unless I know them and have built up a repoir of mutal respect, trust and friendship I always reference there profile or something about their post or words that I have found intriguing.
I also have this nagging sound of my father in the back of my head from when I was a kid, " Beauty isnt always what you think it is, remember this, beauty is only skin deep but ugly is to the bone." So no matter how the package is wrapped, get to know who the person is before throwing out compliments that very well may offend.
Hell I think Im sexy or at least I aspire to maintain a belief in the eighty's song by Right Said Fred..."Im too Sexy"  knew that lil devil couldnt stay quiet long, ,
ciao, adieu mon amis...gone  again ohhh yeah a remember this too a bad day of is better than your best day at work   | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/13/2007 7:33:06 AM |
I know when I have emailed any woman unless I know them and have built up a repoir of mutal respect, trust and friendship I always reference there profile or something about their post or words that I have found intriguing.
This type of contact is the most meaningful to me. Most people want to be liked for who they are, and I am no exception. | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/13/2007 8:52:03 AM | Profiles really don't mean anything. Alot of you seem to place tons of importance on interest, and hobbies, and personality.
**** all that. You'll never get to truly know someone unless you spend time and speak to them. Not type, not E-mail, or IM'ing. I place no value whatsoever on how diverse, fun-loving, and open-minded someone's profile eludes them to being.
All rhetoric to get someone to respond to you because you seem interesting. Not all, but I'm sure there are some that 'beef' up their profile, similar to a resume. WHY?
Because we ALL want to get the 'job'. See what I did there? Scrap judgments made on profile info. First thing that interest you to even view a profile is the pic (unless you're in the forum)
If you like the looks, take it from there. If they turn out to be a douchebag, then at least you've made an informed decision to *POOF*, and not a premature one.
end rant.  | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/13/2007 10:15:11 AM |
Most people want to be liked for who they are, and I am no exception.
Judging by the size and quality of your fan club I'd say you are having no problem being liked for who you are. Looks and brains are a powerful combination. | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/13/2007 10:59:42 AM | Just a thought...
**** all that. You'll never get to truly know someone unless you spend time and speak to them. Not type, not E-mail, or IM'ing. I place no value whatsoever on how diverse, fun-loving, and open-minded someone's profile eludes them to being.
First point eludes means to escape, to evade or avoid capture; to get around, I think perhaps you meant "alludes to"
Second point if you feel as you stated in your quote, then why are you even on a dating website, if you ask me or any other sensible person, it sound like your rhetoric, is an oxymoron...
But hey what do I know, probably absolutely nothing, except on how to speak to a woman and how to address a lady... doesnt mean I have a mess load of people that I find myself on their favorites or that I have listed a group of women on my favorites list. I tend to clean out my favorites list every few weeks, if someone is on there that I dont ever hear from or speak to whether that be in an email, im or on the phone or in person for that matter.
Profiles help to weed out those you dont want to speak to. As far as Im concerned, a woman could be drop dead gorgeous and Im sure there are quite a few women who also feel that a man could be all that and a bag of chips, but if either of them cant even compose a proper sentence, and one that is grammatical correct to include spelling, then why in the hell would you want to get with someone that has rocks for brains.
Just another thought | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:01:18 AM | You can compliment innocent things like style, choice of jewelry, clothing, hair.. etc.
But never compliment appearance.
Just say no to:
-You are beautiful/sexy/hot
-Nice rack!
-Nice ass!
-Dayamn mami what's a playa have to do to hit THAT?!
(etc)
You may think you are just being nice. But look at it from a woman's point. If you heard 100 times a day that your (insert whatever here) was nice you would start to get jaded and sick of hearing it too. | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:03:54 AM | Janet,
Im glad to hear that... I expect you are no different than anyone else on the planet that wants to be thought of as having a brain, can communicate and carry on an intelligent conversation. However you didnt leave me much room to be witty this time or let the Devils Advocate get in two words edge wise,     | |
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| Saying Sexy, in the first contact, creepy or complimentary?
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:20:54 AM | First point eludes means to escape, to evade or avoid capture; to get around, I think perhaps you meant "alludes to"
Second point if you feel as you stated in your quote, then why are you even on a dating website, if you ask me or any other sensible person, it sound like your rhetoric, is an oxymoron...
like OMG! It's the grammar police! Quick somebody hide me. Pinpoint innaccuracies in my post to add credibility. HA!
Thx for the english lesson guy. And if I was your age, and still using this website. Then sure I'd be alot more interested in a person's profile if I was looking to find a wife maybe? As you said this is a dating website. Understood, captain! Which would entail (Is THAT the word I want to use professor?  ) thousand of people looking for millions of things. Not everyone needs to E-mail for YEARS before meeting in person. And not everyone has the greatest typing or spelling skills. For you to take credit away from someone based on a few typos. Well, that is the epitomy (spell check that for me, will ya?) of a douchebag. And that ain't "just a thought" guy.
Oh yeah. If I was in your position I'd place tons of importance on profile info too, because I'm sure your pick-up skills IRL with women are probably questionable. So, instead Janet stays witty, and your nose stays brown. Don't ever correct my spelling as ammunition for a counter-argument again. I ain't like that much.
* GASP * My college just called!! They want their Bachelors back after reading my oxymoronic (is that even a word admiral?!) post. flames are abound pal. | |
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