| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 3/17/2007 3:07:41 PM | | I'm sorry to hear about your mother. I hope she'll recover one day. I pray to you, your mother, and your family while going through this tough time. God bless you.... | |
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| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 3/20/2007 3:48:36 PM | | hey everyone..i want to thank you all for the support you have shown me and my family..it really does mean alot to me..im sorry i havent been able to get on and leave any updates till now..the past few days have been really hard and hectic..sadly, mom passed away..she had went back to the hospital sat afternoon..it was discovered she had Pneumonia..she passed sun night..her lungs were filling with fluid faster then she could get it out..it was fairly quick..took a few hours and she was surrounded by her family the whole time..cept for one of my nephews and his wife (lives in virginia and couldnt get here soon enough), the whole family was there..children, grandchildren and even all the great grandchildren...towards the end, i was rubbing her leg and talking to her, telling her that i love her and its ok to let go and be with my father, bro and others we have lost..she took her last breath about 2 mins later..i thank you all from the bottom of my heart..everyone that posted on this thread was a big help to me and it will never be forgotten..reno6k | |
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| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 3/20/2007 4:46:26 PM | | Condolences and Prayers. I am so sorry to hear this. Know though, that your mom is always looking over you and watching down on you and the Family. If it helps any, I sometimes go outside at night with A glass of wine and Talk to my late wife. Sounds weird but it has helped a lot. Once again My Condolences and Prayers for you and your family. | |
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| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 3/22/2007 1:12:16 PM | reno...i am so sorry for your loss...i have been in your shoes many times...(family history of prostate cancer)...also a few yrs back my mother was found to have a canerous tumor on a kidney...the tumor...along with the kidney...was removed...she was 75 at the time...she is 80 now and like you...i am caretaker...you did the right thing consoling her til the end...
i watched my father battle prostate cancer for almost 3 yrs...he passed in '95...i was bringing him to an appointment at the cancer clinic here and he collapsed due to weakness on the doorstep...i was actually afraid to lift him...not because he was too heavy...but he was so frail that i thought i might break one of his bones lifting him...so i called 911...they brought him to the hospital...he died 3 weeks later...somehow i felt responsible for his death because i was the one that called the ambulance...it took me probably 10 yrs to realize i did the right thing...the only regrets i have concerning people that have passed away are the things i left unsaid...there is so much you can think of to say after a person has died that you should have said while they were alive...i lost both a younger and an older brother suddenly too...one of the last things i said to my older brother was..."you are a f*cking *sshole"...with my youngest brother one of the last recollections i have of him was him smacking me across the back with a frying pan...if only we could see the future huh?...
i hope anyone reading this gives a healthy family member a hug...cuz you just never know...
you appear to be holding up well...my advice to you is not about the state of your mental well being but rather the physical...
get yourself checked thoroughly...a lot of cancer is treatable if detected in time...i get a prostate cancer check done once a yr since my dad went...its done through blood work so no worries about embarassment...i will say a small prayer for your ma tonight... | |
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| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 3/26/2007 3:41:34 AM | hey everyone..moms funeral was this past thurs. im still trying to get use to not having her around..no one to argue with..lol..we fought like cats and dogs most of the time, but at the end of the day, we were still best friends..and we both knew it..
i know she looks down on me..in fact, at the service, my bro made a little joke bout that.."great..i have my mother watching me all the time now"..lol..he ran the service (i was so proud of him..i've always known he would make a great pastor..) and with me being the baby, AND in charge of the house now, im sure im being watched extra close..i guess i need to start watching what i do..lol..atleast she doesnt have to deal with my stereo vibrating the house anymore..lol..its not weird to go out and talk to a loved one you lost..in fact, now thats its warming up, im gonna start doing the same thing..
my father also had probs with his prostate..but, cause of his age, there wasnt alot they could do..surgery would likely kill him..but, it was congestive heart failure he passed from..
consoling her wasnt an easy thing to do, i hated seeing her that way..but my father passed before i could get to the hospital and that has been one of my biggest regrets..i wasnt about to let that happen again..i know how ya feel bout not wanting to pick up your father, i was the same way with her..last few days of her life, she look so frail..that wasnt my mother..my mother was to strong and stuberon to die..my sister often said through the yrs that mom would outlive us all..and you did do the right thing calling 911..it just doesnt seem like it at the time..yeah..seeing the future would be a nice gift to have..i mean, she was diagnosed around the 8th or 9th and was given 3-6 months..maybe 9 with the treatment..she was gone on the 18th..9 days later..i lost a bro as well..but i was only 7 and i dont remember alot bout him..i really only have a handfull of memories..i dont know if i blocked them out or what..i should be able to remember alot at the age of 7..i agree bout the not leaving things left unsaid..i get the feeling that my sister and i are gonna be alot closer..we are the ones that always did the shopping for mom and dad..took them to the hospital when the squad wasnt neccarry..when mom died, she kept saying what we are gonna do w/out her.right before i left her home that night to come back here, i hugged her and said we will be fine..anyway, this is getting to be a rather long post so im gonna end it here..thank you for the encouraging words..i have gained alot of strangth from this thread and everyone who posted..there truely is some very good ppl on POF..reno6k.. | |
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| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 3/27/2007 10:09:53 PM | Op
I am really sorry to hear this and I wish and pray the best for you and your family and that you will be able to have peace in your hear through this. I will also pray for your mother and for her health.
I don't know what to say, I will keep you in my prayers and just stay strong and as hard as it may be, try to be as optimistic as you can be. | |
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| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 3/27/2007 11:21:18 PM | Reno6k... my hearfelt Condolences and Prayers to you and your family.
I found out today, that I'll be going through the same thing you've already experienced. I hope I handle it as well as you. | |
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| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 3/28/2007 6:05:41 AM | Hi reno6k, my thoughts are with you at this time and no loss if ever easy regardless of the age. I lost my beautiful cousin to breast cancer at the age of 40 and with no family history this blew us all away.
I've since joined the fight against this disease and now part of a mission to get into the hands of every woman (and man) a breast cancer early detection kit. http:\\1gift.2freedom.com
There are a lot of awesome people on here giving and sharing from their hearts and its a beautiful thing.
May God be your strength!
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| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 3/28/2007 8:28:36 AM | | i am sorry your Mom has Cancer, I will keep her in my prayers and please don't take this wrong but enjoy the time you have left and tell her everything you have always wanted to tell her!! I did with my Mom and she did the same with me before she passed! She is in Heaven and we were all happy she let go and went in peace! | |
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| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 4/2/2007 9:52:05 PM | hey everyone..well, its been sometime now since we lost mom and the house is rather lonley..its also so strange living here w/out her..we had this thing watching certain "judge" shows, that if something unusual or funny came on, we would go tell the other bout it just in case if the other missed it..well, a few days ago, something odd was in one of the shows and i found myself getting up off the couch to go in her room and see of she cought it..but, of course, she wasnt in there..i realized that as i stood up..and i just sat back down..i turned off the tv a min or so later and did stuff around the house..it was just as difficult tonight watching a certain "deal" game show..(i dont know if i can mention names of the shows).this was one show that we both loved watching and tonights was one of the best (and funniest) episodes i've seen..i missed her alot while watching that..but, its getting better little by little though..i called a couple of the utilities today to make some arrangements on getting the bills in my name and trying to get a payment schedule..cleaned out a couple of bookshelves to give books of hers i didnt want to other reletives..its getting better and easier..
thank you all for your kind words..its difficult for some ppl to understand, but, simply reading some kind words from total strangers actually can do alot of good..this thread and the ppl that have helped by sharing their experiances, advice, love and concern is good therapy..thank you..
Express: im sorry for what you are going through..i cant say i have alot of experiance with this..mom was diagnosed and then gone 9 days later..but, i can offer you someone to talk to..if you need to talk or just to ramble, drop me a line anytime..
brestman: keep up the fight with the breast cancer cause..if more ppl like you would take up these fights, there would be less ppl getting cancers..i truley believe that..
reno6k  | |
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| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 4/14/2007 2:36:10 PM | Hi so sorry to hear about your mum,cancer is a horrible thing for any family to go through.
I know how you must be feeling.My dad had non hodgkins lymmphoma.He fort it for a year ,with chemo etc and we was told 5 days before xmas it was terminal.I looked after him with my mum.He sadly died 9 weeks ago.He was only 55. | |
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| my mother with cancer. advice please
Posted: 4/17/2007 5:08:14 AM | I am so sorry to hear about your mother, My advice is enjoy every moment you have with her. 16 years ago my mother was not feeling well and they sent her to the hosiptal for tests nothing showed up, then a week or two they ran the same tests all over. They had discover she had cancer throughout her whole body now, liver, bones, brain, when cancer gets into certain organs it spreads so fast and time can be very short. Once they found the cancer, and knew that there was nothing they could do she came home. The doctors had told us it could be days months or years, It took maybe 1 to 2 months before she passed away from it. Morfein ( not sure about the spelling here) will help to a point, as well as regular massages and most importantly just being with the person.
There is not true way to prepare yourself, since there is no love like from a parent.
I wish you all the best and if you ever need someone to talk to message me.
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